GOTH FREAK !

[flahmngo]

SEMI-HIATUS??

i havent been good to myself lately and am doing very harmful and toxic things. These things are currently possessing and engulfing my day-to-day life and impacting everything i do. most days im too mentally exhausted from these things that i literally just……. do not have the strength to write. & it sucks, it sucks so bad, because roleplaying my sims 2 muses & gwen + ricky over the summer was probably the best summer i’ve ever had. i was so happy. i don’t know where things went wrong, but they did, and now i’m just too sad most days to be on here and play the characters i know and love, which is a tragedy in of itself, because i know it’d make me feel better if i did, but i just cant. this is a semi because i dont want to say im not coming back or will be gone completely for a certain amount of time, because if i say that, i’ll want to stick to it— even on the days where i want to write. so i’m leaving my hiatus at a semi incase, on any particular day, i do want to write.  it just wasn’t today. or yesterday. or the week before that. but when i want to, i want to give myself the chance to. i’m sorry im so spotty with activity and i often have been. i frequently feel like i owe my followers activity, but i know i don’t owe anyone anything. i just hope i dont fade away and when i do come back, people will still want to write with me. thats all. thank u. :- )

[hisvulcanboyfriend]

Mother of a god Cries endless tears of regret Their sins kill saviors

[gothtopikz]

i want to write but it feels like a chore on all my blogs and it shouldnt feel that way lol

[flahmngo]

again, its not munday but i took these today and im cute and wanted u all 2 kno

[gothtopikz]

                                           ‘     yeah     ,     i’ve read it    .     ‘    voodoo for dummies   :    she’d gotten the book for   christmas    one year    ,     a    joke    performed by her    younger brother    .      the jokes on     him   ,   though   ,   because she actually wound up reading it in moments where she had nothing else to read    .   it prompted a   twisted curiosity    ,    a line never   crossed   but occasionally    thought about    .     ‘   what about it    ?    ‘     /    @hideyho

[crimeo]

all my blogs are officially up !  

                 alexander goth   .

                   brandi broke    .

                   don lothario     . 

                   gwen       . 

                    ricky       .

[gothtopikz]

                              starter call. 

[cynicalavera-deactivated2020090]

Wish I had added more background elements, but otherwise pretty happy with this. I love lineless art. ;-;

[gothtopikz]

atyped·:

relief  flood  through  her  senses  !     she’s oddly comforted by the TRUCE that appears to be forming .  war took a lot out of you ,  and if one were to be honest ,  courtney really didn’t understand why she felt so much pressure to  FIGHT  with gwen .  maybe it was because of the ROLES they were supposed to play ––   they were living ,  breathing stereotypes after all .   the world EXPECTED girls to fight over boys ,  for girlfriends to  HATE  their boyfriend’s female friends …    and who was courtney not to live up to those expectations ?   she had felt lost after her  GOOD AND PURE  persona had been stolen from her ,  the moment happening after she had been UNFAIRLY eliminated during the first season and humiliated .  that kind of hurt  changes you .  now she’s clinging to whatever she has ,  lashing out at any perceived threat ,  guard permanently up .    ❛   yes ,  well …   friends don’t try and steal each other’s boyfriends .  ❜  it was one last jibe ,  a conditional offer ––  friendship in exchange for gwen backing off of duncan .   ❛   and i’m sorry ,  but  ––   shouldn’t you of all people know how that feels ?   ❜   heather kissing trent came to mind ,  and the entire island rallied for gwen’s defence .  and here courtney was ,  with  no one  on her side .  

                               her silence    wasn’t a    confession    ,     she just knew better than to    defend herself-----   even if she   wanted   to   ,    wanted to tell courtney that her and duncan were just   friends   (   &  not even super good ones   ,    at that  )    ,    wanted to tell her that she had no   interest   in her   green jail bird   at all  ,   and she never had    .       ‘    yeah    ,    and that’s why i’d never do something like that    .    ‘    arms cross under her bust    ,    legs shifting her weight      .     ‘   ever    ,    courtney      .     ‘     but   actions   speak louder than   words    ,    she knows     ,   and so she understands she’d have to   work   for courtney’s   trust   .   luckily     ,     she’s   patient      .       

[gothtopikz]

atyped·:

    she’s thankful as the air begins to grow lighter .  it makes the uncoiling of the ANGRY knot in her stomach far easier .       the bear HIBERNATES once more ,  sunshine in the form of a smile to push back scowling grey clouds.   ‘  boys  ARE  stupid … ’    she agrees wholeheartedly ,  nodding with a soft chuckle of her own .   gwen’s apology came as a surprise ,  but one courtney appreciates a lot .  people really did think that she LIKED acting like a POSSESSIVE GIRLFRIEND ,  but she really didn’t .  she just hated feeling threatened more .  something equally shocking happens when courtney replies next .    ‘  i accept your apology ,  gwen …   i’m sorry if i was more than a little bit  SHARP .   i really don’t  mean  to be  RUDE .  ’  

                              something foreign   :    a smile    !       her own   teal grin   blossoms   ,    kind    ,    soft     ,    happy    .    she was   happy   they were having this conversation    .    she was   happy   she was clearing the air    .     she was   happy   they were getting along    .      ‘   i know    .    it’s okay     .     ‘   gwen doesn’t think courtney can help it   ,    really    ,    a   defense mechanism   to protect   pride   and   self-esteem   when everything else was    corrupt   .    she assumes it’s on account of the competition----     it brought the   worst   out in people   ,    time and time again    .    it brought the worst out in   her     .     she just doesn’t want to think courtney’s been this way her whole life    .     .     .    a   fighter   her whole life   .    there was something about that idea that was so   sad    .    ‘   i just don’t want you to see me as an   enemy   .      call me    crazy   ,    courtney    ,    but i think you and me make better   friends   than    enemies    .   ‘

[markxisthill]

[gothtopikz]

                                            ‘    annoying me     is only entertaining to   sadists   and   bleach blondes   when there’s   cameras   around   .   ‘       and there were no cameras   .       black manicure grips   tightly   around a   sharp pencil   ,   lining her drawing with a   heavy wrist   ,    heavier than it was twenty minutes ago when life was   better   and gwen was    heather-free    .     ‘    there’s no one for you to    impress   ,    so you can    get lost    .   you’re blocking my light    .    ‘      /      @soughtpower

[gothtopikz]

                              starter call. 

[brrvitunsaatana]

thoughts run through my mind.

[gothtopikz]

apathetiics:‘

【 ☠𝔠𝔯𝔦𝔪𝔰𝔬𝔫.☠ 】———- ✘

CRIMSON DOESN’T smile. not just in that moment ———-    ever.    she’s stone cold ; often compared to having the emotional range of a stone gargoyle in stature    &&    empathy. it’s so hard to tell how she’s feeling, a mind that rarely could be read by only select people. yet, there are times her words seem to    contradict    her expression.

                           ❝ i think you could pull them off. if you pick the right one. the needles are more of a    rush.    i                            don’t feel them. maybe, like … keep your mind off them ? ❞

                                           ‘    yeah    ,    i guess     .    ‘     her shoulders roll backwards in a   passive shrug    .      she’d always   admired   tattoos   (  they were artwork    ,    after all    ,    )   but she never gave much thought into getting one herself-----    not since she was   thirteen   and   obsessed   with them   .    ‘   i think i’d be more interested in   giving   a tattoo than   getting   one    .     it’d be really cool to put my artwork on somebody    .     ‘    but she never   would    ,    because tatttoos last   forever     ,    and she was too   modest   to believe anyone would want her artwork on them for that long    .    plus    ,   she lacked that commitment    . 

[battybizarre]

[gothtopikz]

atyped:

             it’s always been the case ––  how do people put up with courtney ?  how do they TOLERATE her when she herself is the embodiment of intolerable more often than not ?  she hadn’t always been that way ,  a fundamentally different person had stepped onto the dock at CAMP WAWANAWKWA before everything had gone to shit .  before she had been pushed over the edge ,  used as CANON FODDER in a dumb little feud between boys and humiliated .  she’d made a vow not to let anything like that happen again and it has her on the offensive at all times .  life and love may not have been war ,  but they were now .  gwen’s comments are able to diffuse some of her original anger and courtney finds herself sighing and swallowing down some of the venom that had been building up .   ‘  i don’t think he’ll ever be completely tame , ’  she murmurs ,  more of a musing to herself .  many people saw her lists of things she wanted duncan to change as superficial but all she wanted was for him to be able to succeed so that they could live their best lives together .  she loved him and she didn’t want him to throw his life away over something stupid ,  that was all .  courtney was just too stubborn to tell him out of fear of having her feelings used as ammunition to tease her ,  as he often did .  

                                ‘    probably not    .    ‘    they could agree on that   ,    and even after she says it     ,     she cant help the   small chuckle   that   tickles   past   midnight blue   petals     .     it wasn’t really   funny    ,     the laugh was more to    herself    (  as well as to fill up the awkward silence    .    the air was thick enough to cut her clean in half   .   )         ‘     but i think you can say that about any guy   ,   you know    ?     they’re like a whole other   species    ;     one that    picks it’s nose    and     scratches it’s groin   .       ‘   she laughs again   ,     because that was actually meant to be    funny     .        ‘     hey     ,     i’m sorry if i said something wrong earlier    .      i didn’t mean to    .     ‘