For over a decade, Enji had worn his grief wherever he went. The memory of Touya followed him, and he saw his son in everything, regardless of if he was looking or not. In bright, sunny days, in cold soba, in red gummy candies, in his own sidekick's birthday.
The walls of what was once their family home are no different. But there's no room for joy in that nostalgia, only the haunting memory of all the ways Enji had failed his family time and time again.
Which is why his (now ex-) wife and children are now living in a new home, together. A fresh start for them, a bright future that even Enji Todoroki cannot ruin.
And that is also why Enji remains...here. Alone.
Or, well, he would be alone, if Keigo ever went home.
He knows Hawks only has the best of intentions, and, truthfully, it's nice to share a meal with someone, sometimes. It's also easy enough to host him overnight for a night, or maybe even a full weekend. There are enough rooms, and the younger man isn't disruptive. If anything, he...well, he makes the house feel less lonely.
He makes Enji feel less lonely.
Despite that, though, he can't help but feel guilty whenever Hawks walks into a room. Can't help but feel an innate desire to push Hawks away. Because he had already been burned once, and maybe it hadn't been Enji's hands, directly, but wasn't it, though? Didn't all roads lead back to him and his fire and his damn obsession? And didn't Hawks see that?
All this and more races through his mind whenever the number two comes over, but he ignores that doubt, that self-hatred, because it's rude to bemoan your guests, and he's trying to get better at not being rude. Sometimes. A little. (Not really.)
So, he makes dinner. He's starting to run low on recipes he knows how to make well enough for guests, though. Maybe he should start making Keigo cook, if he's going to be staying over so often.
He makes casual conversation over the meal. Or, well, Hawks makes conversation. He listens, mostly, and throws in a few small comments and hums when he feels they're necessary.
Then they put on a movie, and Enji has no idea what they're saying, because it isn't in Japanese, and he thinks there are subtitles, but he can't read any of them, and, okay, maybe Fuyumi is right, maybe he does need glasses.
Language barrier aside, it's hard to focus on the movie when the little bird next to him is squirming around.
"Are you alright?" He asks when he realizes the movements aren't ceasing. Really, they're only getting bigger as time goes on.
"Hawks." His voice softens as Keigo whines, a hand reaching up to grip his shoulder as he tilted his head to peer at his back. "What's the matter with them?"
At the request for lotion, he nods, slowly, standing up, and making his way into the bathroom. He returns a moment later with a few bottles.
"This one is for sports injuries, it heats up. It never really worked for me. Given..." A small burst of flame sparks out from under his nose, then disappears just as quickly as it appears. "Though, I'm not sure how you'd feel about...heat on your back." He frowns, before shaking it off, and continuing.
"This one smells like strawberries."
Enji stares at Hawks and his awkward suffering for another long moment, before clearing his throat.
He frowns, deeper than before, before nodding toward the hallway.
"Do you...need some help? With the lotion?" He asks, hesitantly. "I imagine it would be difficult to reach otherwise."
