This was my first performance at a school event called “One Mic Stand.” After a lot of research, I decided to try out both deep breathing and mindfulness, which is simply just being self aware of what’s going on and focusing on physical, simple, objective things. That lead to me talking to myself a lot before going up there. It worked, though, and I plan to be using that tactic again.
This song is kind of a breakup-esque love story between three characters: Icarus, the Sun, and Gravity.
The general idea of the song is that Icarus is talking about how when he tried to get closer to this one person (the Sun), romantically, it ended up not working out; they both wanted two separate things and weren’t on the same page, so Icarus started distancing himself -- as if he were falling. Falling, falling, falling out of love.
brown eyes
so soft and warm like the sunshine
can’t turn away, won’t you be still
blinded and therefore can’t see the bigger picture
an even bigger fiction you’ll be
Not all of my songs are written about events that happened to me personally. Most of the time, my songs will be about my feelings on a situation on the outside looking in, which is what this first verse is kind of about.
So the song starts of by referring to Icarus, stating that he has brown eyes and they’re bright and warm like what sunshine is usually seen as, which kind of plays with the irony of the situation. The next three lines talk about how when Icarus looks head on at the Sun, he’s so blinded by her beauty and the possibilities of what could be that he can’t see the bigger picture, such as the signs that she isn’t interested, how she always leads him on, and etc. If he keeps daydreaming of what they could be without paying attention to reality, the more of a smaller chance he’ll actually get at being with her (an even bigger fiction you’ll be).
over and over and over and over again
over and over and over and over again
...pretty self explanatory, right? Nothing too fancy.
you knew that i knew
things were never really gonna work out
once they were planned
and you knew that i thought
that my wings would carry me till the end
So now begins the chorus. This part is in the perspective of Icarus, where he is basically calling out the Sun by saying, “You knew all along that this wouldn’t work out, no matter what I do, and you didn’t say anything!” He feels as if he’s been led on all this time they were together.
but the world is filled with “meant-to-be”s and “don’t”s
filled with mysteries and “clearly-won’t”s
and some dare to be grand
but you knew that i felt
freedom when you finally chose to understand
Honestly, though, I’m really proud of these lines. It’s basically just Icarus stating that on this Earth, there are going to be people who say to you that “it’s meant to be!” and there will be some people who say “don’t go for it.” There will also be moments where you just don’t act at all and it’s left a mystery, not knowing of its potential outcome, but there are also moments where you just try and push it, and people are practically yelling at you that “it clearly won’t work out!” And then there are some who just try to be grand and live their best life, not knowing or really thinking about the consequences.
BUT. What throws Icarus off is the fact that no matter which way he leans, the Sun always understands. She always understands and it messes him up because he just falls more in love with her, but at the same time he feels like he’s being led on, and we are all way too familiar with that kind of internal debate in our heart when we’re on the fence on liking someone or not.
i just flew too close, close, close
close, close, close
I was debating whether or not to call this song “close,” but I kind of liked the ring to “icarus” more, so I stuck with it.
Once the chorus is done, a little melody on the piano is played that was inspired by Ed Sheeran’s song “Even My Dad Does Sometimes.” I feel like it still manages to sound pretty original, though, so hopefully no one gets upset about that or anything. *sweat intensifies*
yellow soul
i’m burnt out like coal
she was the sun and
i thought, i thought that i could withstand the burn
lost with no return
another notch, another lesson learned
For the second verse, the perspective is once again from Icarus and he’s just expanding on his relationship with the Sun. She was too bright for him, too much to begin with, but he never could really see it. He was always at her heels, following her desperately like a lost puppy not knowing any better, and once she broke his heart, you would’ve thought he learned, right? Nope. Just another notch on his belt. Another lesson learned, he’d tell himself, but was it really a lesson learned if he just kept setting himself up for the same old thing over and over again?
gravity
is shy and tries to hide
but the coin always favors a side
no, she doesn’t decide
So this is the bridge before the end of the song, and this time the perspective changes and we get opened to a new pair of eyes: Gravity. If you want to get technical, Gravity is me -- where I stand in this situation. Like I said when explaining the first verse, Not all of my songs are written about events that happened to me personally. Most of the time, my songs will be about my feelings on a situation on the outside looking in -- and that’s where the character Gravity kind of derived from.
In this mess, I’m in between both Icarus and the Sun. They are both my friends, and I both care and try to help them to the best of my ability, but when things go wrong, that doesn’t mean you should blame me. I’m just here doing my job, pulling you down to Earth so you don’t go flying off into this fantasy that doesn’t exist. Do not get upset with me.
So, hence the phrasing of “is shy and tries to hide” because even though Gravity gives very helpful advice on the situation that’s in Icarus’ best interest, usually he would try to fight her on it and for everyone, there’s always a breaking point where they just say, “I’m done trying to help you.”
Now for the last two lines of the bridge, it’s just kind of saying, “There’s just some things that I can’t control. Just because the coin is falling and I pull things down to Earth, and keep it grounded, doesn’t mean that I chose what side it falls on; I don’t control fate.”
brown eyes
oh, brown eyes
that’s how it goes when you’re too close
These last lines wraps up the song beautifully. It shows parallelism to the first verse by referring to Icarus’ brown eyes once again and stating, simple and clear: that’s how it goes when you’re too close.
I’ve decided to embark on a new project and try actually singing my songs as a type of solo project. Since I am slightly terrified of performing in public by myself, I wanted to be able to experiment with techniques to help calm down my nerves, so I can share what personally helps me to the world! So, stick with me, ‘cause I’m gonna be updating some of my experiences and my song.
This is one of the many takes that we took while recording the instrumental. I don’t believe you can see it, but my parents bought me a Professional Cardioid Condenser Microphone for around $20.00 on Amazon, so it was really exciting to try it out and listen to the difference than regularly recording on my phone.
Prior, we talked about how we were going to go about recording the song, some of us saying we should all do it in one take, others saying we split it up so we record each individual instrument and voice separately, and some saying that we split it up by vocals and instrumental. The latter won. We came to the conclusion that it would be easier because it would ensure the fact that the voices would be clearly heard over the instrumental with the adjustment of the volume on GarageBand, and it would be easier on the editing. An additional note, we decided it would be smart to record the instrumental first, so when the vocals are to record next, they could listen to the instrumental recording to make sure that it lines up.
Brenden was finally able to come after long conversations over when the other person was free, but once a date was planned, we worked on the solos as well as ran through the song with the piano, ukulele, bass, and little percussion making up the instrumentals.
One of the things that I’ve came to learn and realize during this whole process is that scheduling with people, especially four working seniors, is harder than it seems. People have priorities, and the thing that you want them to learn or the time you want them to be at a certain place, sometimes doesn’t take priority for them, which is completely understandable.
Additionally, you have to keep in touch with them at all times with constant reminders and such because they are human, too, and they forget. Most frequently, during this age, too.
Finally, if things don’t go your way, you have to learn to compromise. To compromise means to come to an agreement that both sides are happy with, and if you are to be working with musicians, or on any big project on that matter, you have to be able to compromise. There’s no time to sulk about the fact that you didn’t get your way, that wastes time. You need to accept it, and then move on.
I spent my New Year’s Eve making a song -- that was exhilarating! Morgan (the girl with the red hair) and Nathan (the only dude) are the voices behind Mari and Wren, and Melody (the girl in the red sweater) is the heart and soul of this project; the person in control of the little percussion, or alternatively known as, the snaps and shaker.
Despite the fact that I handed out recordings of each of Morgan and Nathan’s part, as well as the lyrics, we still had to go through some lines of the song that they didn’t know too well, which was very helpful and very effective.
Brenden, unfortunately, wasn’t able to make it, so I had to reschedule an extra rehearsal that he can attend.
Brenden came for the first rehearsal of the song to work on the bass line and discuss a solo for him! In the end, we agreed to make it a piano-bass conjoined solo and we left the idea of the violin being in the song up in the air.
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