only you. it makes the ache in her chest lessen. makes her heart swell for just a moment before she allows something short of a smile to settle on her lips. she does not resent walking into battle. she does not fear a lack of return — does not look or pray that she’ll return to her holdfast, because if she must die, she will die in battle. she will die triumphant, at the hand of someone better; she will die because they were outmatched. because odinn stares down at them and favours her, or because freyja wishes to make her one of her own. ( and she would never fall to the hand of sigvard. she would never balk to him because he was merely a coward. merely a coward who raised his fists to his wife out of envy for ragnar lothbrok. lots of men are jealous of ragnar. )
‘ i trust him. with my life, i trust him. ’ — she has followed his lead into battle many a time. she has followed him, and still lives. she has followed him and prayed for him, and cauterised the wounds that left him almost a corpse, and still lives. she has born his children. felt his scorn. she has hurt and ached because of him, but she is still here, and she still trusts him. only outside the bounds of their marriage. ‘ ragnar knows what i would do if he tried to take my jarldom or anything else that is mine. ’
She will follow Ragnar and Hákon will follow her. If they are to be taken to the gates of Valhöll or Fólkvangr, then that is what the Gods will, and he should make his peace with that as he made peace with the idea of this new family. He tells himself that he will only be conflicted until they reach Kattegat, until they board their longships and sail for Paris. There is no room for a warrior on the battlefield with doubt in his heart.
He releases his hold on her hands, lets his own drop to his side, and is silent for a time longer before he says anything.
‘ Then I am with you, fóstra. The Seer-- in Kattegat, is he still there? The Ancient One? If it were possible, if he speaks with outsiders-- I would much like to speak with him before we leave to Paris. I would feel better knowing if the valkyrja are to come for either of us in these next months. ’
