thanks for your time

Guts|21|They/It

[officialsolluxcaptor]

THIS OFFICE HAD ITS BLINDS UP AND THIS IS WHAT I SAW

[officialsolluxcaptor]

i’m losing my mind. this is a high rise office building on the upper east side of manhattan. and the only piece of art on the wall in this office is a bikini clad anime girl with humongous bazookas that are bouncing out of sync. this can’t be real someone wake me up

[the-four-humors]

I know this print, it’s actually considered a fine art piece! It’s clearly based on Takashi Murakami’s live-sized statue ‘Hiropon’:

Which, yes, she’s skipping rope with milk that she’s lactating from her bazongas. It’s actually part of a set, the other one being titled ‘Lonesome Cowboy’:

Which features a Cloud look-alike lassoing with his cum. 

Murakami is well known for taking ‘low art’ subject matter (anime, hentai, penises) and placing them in ‘high art’ contexts. I actually saw Hiropon in personal with my own two eyes at the Denver Museum of Art back in 2009. A lot of what he does is satirical, and it’s honestly pretty funny to see pictures of his artwork in American museums, surrounded by confused white baby boomers. 

That said, without the context, it DEFINITELY slaps you in the face and makes you question what the fuck is going on. Had I not found out who he was in college, Hiropon would still haunt me as the most confusing thing I’ve ever seen in a museum. 

[officialsolluxcaptor]

god thank you for explaining this but also i’m still being slapped in the face as i type

[maelwife]

Obituary written by the ppl who do product descriptions on dollskill

[maelwife]

Lionel Newman lived to the ripe old age of 73 years old BB. He was old AF but had a super sexxxyz career as a phiearce ass BITCH. He is survived by his hottttt wife Beverly (gurl power!!) and his three daughters proving once again that the future is female xoxoxo

[deaddolin]

when you accidently beat off for the fourth time in one day

[slog420]

gwynn I distinctly remember you telling me the most you could jerk off in a day was like 2 times

[deaddolin]

Pushing yourself beyond your limits is what it means to be super saiyan

[rabm]

garfield objects i’m obsessed with are these zodiac themed ceramics like is there not something utterly biblical about these

[toastbutteregg]

[rocky-mountain-gothics]

A Guide To Exploring Abandoned Churches

If you go alone, don’t bring a flashlight. You’ll see things you don’t want to.

Don’t bring groups bigger than 12.

Bring water and some snacks, but no wine.

If you have to sleep there, sleep in the sanctuary, but not on a pew.

If you try to read the hymnal, the words won’t be english anymore.

The Bibles will be blank until you confess.

Don’t go into the confession booth. The man talking to you is not the priest, and you don’t want to know what he really is.

The cross on the wall changes locations, don’t look at it for too long.

If you see someone praying at the altar, don’t approach them. If they approach you, don’t talk to them. Leave immediately.

If you hear the organ playing while you’re in the basement, know that your time is running out.

If it plays while you’re in the sanctuary, your time is up.

Take whatever you want, but if you find that one of your possesions is missing, don’t look for it. Let them have it. It’s not worth your life.

If you find a rosary, don’t put it on. It won’t help.

The water isn’t holy anymore. Throwing it on the demons in the shadows won’t work.

Drink the wine if you wish to never leave.

Don’t get seperated from your friends.

If you spend the night, leave at sunrise otherwise you’ll enter another plane of reality with no way back.

If you don’t spend the night, leave through the doors you came in.

You might look behind you after leaving and see that the church isn’t there anymore. It means that they took what they wanted.

Never enter the same abandoned church twice. Even (especially) if you forgot something inside. That’s a lure. On your second tour through, they will know enough about you to keep you there.

[bachel-bakel]

[iamconstantine]

[bileshroom]

ᴵ ᵂᴵᴸᴸ ᶜᴿᴱᴬᵀᴱ ᴹᵞ ᴹᴬᴳᴺᵁˢ ᴼᴾᵁˢ.

ᴵ ᵂᴵᴸᴸ ᶜᴴᴬᴺᴳᴱ ᵀᴴᴱ ᵂᴬᵞ ᵀᴴᴱ ᵂᴼᴿᴸᴰ ˢᴹᴵᴸᴱˢ.

ᴵ ᵂᴵᴸᴸ ᶠᴵˣ ᵀᴴᴵˢ.

;-)

[shittycryptids]

a claw machine that steals your stuffed animals by reaching outside the prize slot door, and you can watch them be digested in its stomach juices

[grandpasoup]

idk why im suddenly using tumblr again but here i am

[browsedankmemes]

I have found my people via /r/memes https://ift.tt/30SsuQv

[tigerlily-monroe-deactivated202]

[oxfrnk]

don’t!!! fake!!!! your!!!! interests!!!! to!!!! make!!!! someone!!!! like!!!!! you!!!!

[the-last-d-boy]

don’t!!! bury!!!! your!!!! interests!!! to!!!!! make!!!! someone!!!! like!!!!! you!!!!

[boowomp]

the bronies really made a subfandom about a massive organ harvesting operation in which horses are killed for their rainbow juice and we as a society just let that happen

[beeefy]

[pileofknives]

Attention all customers: our store will be closing in five minutes. If you are present in the store after closing you will be hunted for sport.

[ricc-ii-deactivated20201015]

I think about this every weekend

[samgiddings]

OK new game. Use this website to see how common your first name is, and then put that number in the tags. 

[valtsv]

im what the victorians would call a “vile, ill-tempered and thoroughly wretched little creature”

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]