Gray-nit

Who says you can't take blood from a stone?

[granite-onthemountain]

Hi

I want to breathe.

Constrictions collapse my feeble lungs and I feel my life is draining from me. 

Light extinguished from my eyes, carried on only by the memories of those who've seen it.

 I should remember all the moments of life, the beautiful, the terrible, the transitions between them, but there's nothing there.

All I have are photographs without memories, the idea of looking up at my favorite face. 

 Would it be easier to breathe if I didn't know that face? There's a rush when she smiles, to know you are the reason she's made such an art, to be her muse for just a moment.

I like that word, her word, and I've stolen it.

 I have this need to go home, when there's no home to be had. My family, my home, is so far away: some long dead.

 She's here, just a message and a moment, but still so far away. 

She's family, if I had to find the right word to say.

It's still the wrong word.

She's the world, the stars in the sky, and heaven above them. 

 You are indescribable, yet every day I try to find the words to say not how I feel about you - because the term is plainly love - but what about you I love so much.

 There are so many words that have failed me, or maybe I've just failed to find them.  

 It is so incredibly difficult to tell you that you are intelligent, funny, and beautiful because, to me, you are their definition. There are no words that could hold up to your name.

I'm sorry, can you see me trying to be human?

[granite-onthemountain]

This is an old one

There's a lot of things I can say

But really they're all the same

You're stuck in my head, you and your name

Maybe you'll never go away.

I don't think it's fair, to me or to you

To be around you when I feel how I do

It's made you uncomfortable and made me suffer,

I'll never be your muse, but I'll always think of you when I hear "and I love her".

Sorry, I saw the postcard you gave me for my birthday years ago. Thanks for existing.

[granite-onthemountain]

What makes me human?

Is it the simple act of living, the random chance that I have made it so far?

If that was all it took to be human, why have I never felt that I could quite pass the bar?

I want to be out there, to roam free and far,

I want to stare silent into the cold gaze of a long dead star. 

 Is to be human to want, to search for something more?

I look in the mirror, into my eyes and down to my core.

I don't know what I want or what to search for.

All I can do is lay upon the floor,

beg your forgiveness for my choices; lord, I know they were poor. 

[granite-onthemountain]

Extra cookie dough did not come out as well as I had hoped

[granite-onthemountain]

Why do we live if not to be loved?

Held tight like a hand to a glove,

Carried away on the wings of a dove

Higher into the sky than heaven above.

Another's heart cannot complete my own,

But to love and be loved may be what I need to atone

For all that i've done, and all I will do

But how can someone else love me

when I'm still stuck on you?

So many nights I've spent wishing you'd think filthy thoughts about me,

Because you can't love me, but I can still be meat.

Anyone would say they loved me if I was good enough to eat.

[tr1ckfuneral]

Suicide ideation is so weird. Making a lovely apple pie while thinking of bleeding out in the tub.

[getocakes]

[granite-onthemountain]

What keeps you up at night?

 There's a cold breeze, 

one that rustles not through the leaves,

 but through you.

What are you meant to do?

There's nothing left but to ruminate 

 On what you've said and left unsaid, every day, until today's date.

 So you stare at your ceiling and you tear up the walls,

 While your heart softly whispers for the one who never calls.