tumblr broke my main

it's fixed, but now I have this and I'm gonna make that everyone else's problem (my main is SpaceTime1969)

[spacetime1969]

TOAxDC anyone?

I've been a part of the MariBat fandom for years now, and more recently become a part of the BatPham fandom since it grew into a full fandom of it's own.

In all that time I have been sitting on an idea for another crossover with DC that I think has just as much potential to become something entirely its own.

So, allow me to present the idea of Tales of Arcadia x Batman, which I've been affectionate calling the BATHUNTER crossover in my head.

More ramblings and fic recs under the cut.

So, first and foremost:

We have a bat bait, blue eyed, black haired, protagonist with trauma. Comparing this to the other two fandoms we've already hit the ground running.

We also have a reason for them to be in Gotham. At the end of Trollhunters we have Claire and Jim going with the trolls to find a new heartstone in New Jersey. Gotham is in New Jersey.

The trolls traveling across the country and founding New Trollmarket right in the Bat's territory doesn't even require an explanation beyond 'They found the new heartstone under Gotham City.'

The opportunities for identity shenanigans are still just as present as ever. If you stick to the full canon of the Tales of Arcadia universe, sans the time travel reset, then Jim, Claire and possibly Toby are both human and the bats could meet them as human civilians and as vigilantes who go around with glowing face covering armor and the ability to just disappear.

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of canon past the first half of wizards. So I like the idea of Jim using a glamour mask to go to school while being a vigilante in his half troll form. Make the bat's even more confused.

I also feel like the dichotomy between the three rules of trollhunting and Batman's usage of fear as a weapon and no killing rule would be fascinating.

Just:

"Fear heightens your senses. Fear keeps you alive. Arrogance gets you killed."

-vs-

“You prefer to call me Batman. But the reason you can never escape me … is that my name is fear. And I live within you.”

“Always finish the fight.”

-vs-

"Heroes should never kill a villain, no matter the depths of his villainy."

They would probably agree on rule three, though: “When in doubt, always kick them in the gronk-nuts.” Since Batman identifying weakness in both his teammates and villains is a whole thing.

Lastly, the potential for bio-dad aus is fascinating to me. Specifically, not with Bruce as the bio-dad, but with Commissioner Jim Gordon.

For anyone who hasn't happened on Jim Gordon's backstory, allow me to give some context. Jim Gordon's wife was named Barbara Eileen Gordon. They had two children, Barbra Gordon and Jim Gordon Jr. Barbara Eileen divorced Commissioner Gordon because she wanted to get her son out of Gotham.

From what I understand, in canon she keeps the name and eventually moves back to Gotham after her son becomes a serial killer and inmate of Arkham Asylum.

But this is an AU, canon is what ever we want it to be and Jim Lake being the biological kid of Commishionre Gordon and little brother of Barbra Gordon aka Oracle has some real potential in the right author's hands.

Fic Recs:

Loose Lips, by NerdofSpades

Batman wants answers. Jim wants to be left alone, so he can go back to his not so normal life. Too bad those two things aren't at all compatible with each other. At least Jim gets some new friends out of all of this. Probably. Maybe.

One of my favorite fics in general. Jim becomes friends with the Young Justice team while trying to convince Batman that he's 'just a civilian'.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

three teenagers are loose in gotham (what will they do), by clayr_of_the_lillies

sometimes you become a vigilante deliberately. sometimes its twitter's fault. aka a tales of arcadia/batman crossover that wouldn't leave my mind.

Very funny and well thought out. I particularly like this interpretation of Gotham's trollmarket and the friendship between the trollhunters and the batfam.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

In Their Blood, NerdofSpades

Barbara Lake saw an uncomfortably familiar pattern in the behavior of James Lake Junior. She saw it in almost everything he did these days. She had seen it in her friends growing up. She had lived it herself. She just wasn't sure how to help him, so, instead, she calls in a friend.

Another fun one by NerdofSpades. Barbara, having been Batgirl, recognizes Jim's behavior in herself. It's a shorter one but still a lot of fun

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I'm also working on a couple of my own fics set in this crossover, but their still WIP for now

[hypewinter]

When Ellie contacted him, Danny thought it was for one of their regular meet ups. So he was quite shocked when he stepped through the portal and was confronted with the Justice League. The second he was through, Ellie who was patiently sat in front of him with handcuffs on, asked him to please tell the heroes how she was telling the truth about being the half ghost clone princess of the Infinite Realms.

[thevanillahorizon]

"No, this is not my daughter, she is a menace and I disown you for whatever illegal thing you did."

"All I did was punch a space cop!"

"Nevermind everything I just said, what's her bail?"

[hdgnj]

Danny: Well... What happened?

Ellie: Um.... Space cop snuck up on me while I was flying. I punched em like you taught me to do if someone sneaks up. Then I got arrested.

Danny: Right. So, was she somewhere illegal?

Hal: Well.. No.

Danny: Then why the handcuffs?

Batman: She is a powerful meta who attacked one of our heroes. Of course we arrested her.

Danny: Yeah, not a meta. Not even slightly. How purposeful was the sneaking?

Hal: I mean. Sound doesn't travel well in space. So not very.

Danny: Ok, so I guess you what, tapped her shoulder, or something?

Hal: Yeah.

Danny: Little tip. Next time circle round and approach from in front. Ellie did exactly as I taught her to do. She is My Heir. Heir to the throne of the Infinite Realms. Her safety is my highest priority. Ellie, stop playing nice please?

Ellie*Breaks handcuffs like nothing and hugs Danny*: Ok Papa!

Batman: You could have done that at any time?

Ellie: Well duh. But diplomatic tensions are still tense with the living world due to the US and what it did. So, I figured it would be better to wait for Papa to show up.

Danny: Thank you starlight. Anyway, do you need anything else? Or can I take my daughter home?

Batman: Can we set up a meeting? We need to discuss why you are letting your Heir wander unsupervised?

Danny: Maybe because she is over 100 years old? More than strong enough to look after herself? And smart enough to know when to cave to nonsense like this?

Batman: Not a child?

Danny: No. Not a child. Ecto entities don't age if we don't feel the need to. It's why I look barely any older than she does.

[spacessomethingxdcsideblog]

Danny is absolutely lying through his teeth.

While it's true that there are child ghosts who are hundreds of years old, he and Dani are not.

Dani looks like a teenager and is actually even younger because of the whole clone thing, while Danny is in his early 20s.

But the Justice League don't know that.

[hdgnj]

Absolutely, no way is he telling the truth to living beings. No way, not after everything the government pulled.

[justhereforsomethingnice]

Minecraft Danny

Danny had been chucked through a natural portal on accident. He lands in the middle of some meeting. Weirdly dressed people all staring at him. That’s not what he finds weird though, he is clearly in the living realm, but everyone is smoother? Rounder? So he says so.

“Why is everyone so round?” People around him exchange glances. The one at the top of the table takes the lead. Why was he wearing his underwear on top of his clothes? Danny would never know.

“What do you mean kid?” He asked cautiously but kindly. Danny blinks. He looks at his own hands. Huh, they were round too.

That’s when he thinks of something. He did promise Ellie they would play real life Minecraft somewhere sometime after all. “Like a nether eye but smooth like a line of blocks, it’s weird.” He said with a straight face.

“Are you joking right now?” Asks a man in bright red. Danny shook his head.

“No, you’re all just weird. And me too, look!” He said as he held out his hand.

“Weird how?” Asked a man in black and with ears.

“Weird like that one time I could collect my digs.” He said.

“What?” The one in red asked. His white mask eyes seemed to grow.

“Elaborate.” Tall and dark growled.

“Like this.” Danny knocked on the floor. Some ghost powers and a few tricks he picked up from the ancient of space and he hacked a square block out of the floor and got it in mini block form. “I couldn’t collect my digs, that was such a weird day.”

He was proud of the straight face he held as eyes bulged around the table.

That was the start of Danny being on the justice leagues ‘could be extremely dangerous’ list together with the ‘dimension traveler’ and ‘willing to help with their abilities’ list. He invited Ellie, naturally. The heroes from this world did not need to know that this was just one big hoax and that they were using their dimension as a playground. They were just innocent Minecraft people doing their Minecraft things.

[evilminji]

....i? I NEED basicly every higher dimensional being? That COULD and DOES know what's actually going on here? To just like? Be Cool. Like, as an Unspoken "if you see something? No you fucking don't. Roll with it."

Ah, yes, the... (what are you pretending to be? Got it.) Block people from the TOTALLY REAL Block dimension. Yes. We, too, know of this dimension. Very... blocky. They both Mine AND Craft there.

....ANYWAY, as they were saying-

Like? If the the fucking king of Zone Ghosts building a... stone block and dirt block shack? Sorry... "EMBASSY" on JLU land? Just? Full on tearing up the land and bedrock? While giggling to themselves?

Yeah. Looks like it.

Think that's a few 5 dimensional imps. Hanging out mid-air with some beers, calling out building pointers. Offering to be "creepers"?

.....okay ntg. Looks like a party. Meh. You can do earthly business later. You wanna see where he's going with this.

[crisis-on-infinite-batblogs]

Bat Burger headcanons that no one asked for:

Bat Burger has always been open late, but in commemoration of Signal's crime fighting debut it began operating 24/7.

Condiment King has a vendetta against the Creative Director, Fatima Lòpez because she refuses to make a menu item themed after him or utilize his likeness in any way.

Villainous Venom is a flavor of Mountain Dew that is exclusive to Bat Burger. It does not contain any of the actual Venom drug, but it does have ungodly amounts of sugar and at least a few known carcinogens (but idk, isn't that true of all Mountain Dew??)

Maxie Zeus inspired a limited menu of Greek food including "The Gyro Gotham Deserves."

The shakes are actually really good for a fast food place and they have 52 different options for toppings, but the ice cream machine is always broken.

There's an urban legend about the burger patties having trace amounts of guano in them. The USDA has never found these claims to be true, but they have yet to test the Robin Nuggets so, who's to say?

Every hound can be a Bat Hound and take a bite out of crime with pup-friendly Bat Bones available in peanut butter, liver, and chicken flavors.

(Mostly I just wanted to show off the Bat Burger logo that I spent 3 hours rendering, but please feel free to add your own headcanons!)

[imjusthereforbatfam]

You used to be able to get a free meal if you could prove were involved in a hostage situation/kidnapped within the past 24 hours.

The deal got so popular people were actively putting themselves in danger, so BB had to change it for legal reasons.

now you only have a 12 hour window and instead of a full meal it's just small fries and a drink :/

[fanishjuli]

all menu items are 100% free for any and all batfamily members.

(this does not include meals for their friends, especially not if they are supers who shouldn't be in Gotham in the first place. looking at you Red Robin.)

for a while a bunch of people tried to make hyperealistic copies of the batfam's costumes in an attempt to get free meals which lead to:

1. batman made official Bat IDs for all the real batfam associated vigilantes.

2. all children under 13 who show up in bat themed costume get 15% off on any meal, a promotion made possible thanks to a deal with Wayne Industries.

when the newest Robin showed up Bat Burger introduced six new vegetarian menu items and three vegan ones, alongside their previous two salads and one wrap.

there have been 57 attempted poisonings at various Bat Burger locations over the years.

thankfully none have resulted in death.

[galaxii-diamond]

Dante's Infer-Dough

Dante moves to Gotham for a fresh start and opens a bakery called "Dante's Infer-dough" (because he's a pun-loving, quippy dork, no matter how cool or mysterious he acts). He uses his powers to do most of the work (heat core/pyrokinesis for baking & duplication to run the place single-handedly where no one can see).

He also gets ingredients from the Infinite Realms that you can't get on Earth, from Realm-exclusive ingredients to things that are extinct. Super cagey about his recipes, for obvious reasons, but tries to be accommodating to people who need to know the ingredients for health reasons.

Has a sign that says, "START SOMETHING AND I'LL END IT." He doesn't care if you're a civilian, vigilante or rogue, if you cause problems he will HAVE a problem. There's a "NO CLOWNS OR CIRCUS/CARNIVAL SHIT" rule, but he'll allow Harley in if she's not dressed up in her costume.

Red Hood decides to check out the new business, make sure it's not a cover-up for something sinister. I'm a sucker for the whole "gives ecto-infused food to liminal who doesn't know they're liminal" thing, so let's have Dante warm up to the guy and start adding ectoplasm to his orders because he clearly needs it.

Does Red Hood start to fall for the mysterious beefy baker who makes heavenly food? None of your damn business! Do you know who else should mind their business? His family! They noticed his shift in demeanor and are now "subtly" investigating Dante and the bakery out of curiosity. Dante is kinda annoyed that all these vigilantes are sniffing around, because he has to be more careful to not be caught using his powers, but holds to his rule of not starting conflicts.

Just ending them.

Things I can see happening in no particular order:

The Batfam losing it when they realize they can't identify some of the ingredients, or that the only match is a food that doesn't exist anymore. Who is this guy and where is he getting this from???

Red Hood trying to strike up a convo about books (the bakery name is literally a reference), only to be heartbroken when Dante admits to not like reading. He bounces back when Dante explains that he struggled with it in school and an asshole English teacher ruined the subject for him. Red Hood is now determined to fix Dante's relationship with literature

Maybe afterwards he installs a little bookshelf in the bakery and Red Hood falls even further

Dante getting to square the fuck up with someone who breaks his very simple rules of "be chill & no clown shit". No one's really shocked by it, this is Gotham and the guy is clearly jacked. People are still impressed by his clear fighting skill. Mostly Hood. The Batfam are adding this to the list of "BAKERY MAN ODDITIES"

Dante side-eyes Nightwing whenever he's in the bakery, because he may not be in the circus now, but Dante can practically smell it on him. If he does anything too circus-y Dante glares at him and taps the sign. The guy is on thin fucking ice.

Anyways, that's what I've got for now, I might come back to this later.

[frownyalfred]

something I don’t think is explored enough in canon AND fic is how every single Bat, but especially Batman himself, would absolutely give anyone with formal military training heart palpitations if they saw them in action. oh you can fly a plane? you’re used to sophisticated combat? WHERE ARE YOUR VERBAL COMMANDS? how are you preventing friendly fire? what is the chain of command? why are you ignoring air traffic control in downtown airspace—

[bsmr261]

[limnaia]

Random military guy, seconds away from losing his shit: "WHERE ARE YOUR VERBAL COMMANDS?"

Batman: *examining a crime scene with his kids, grunts*

Red Robin: *cocks head an inch to the left, then leaves the rooftop to take care of a mugging*

Batman: *turns his head a fraction to look at Spoiler*

Spoiler: *midway through wrapping a lucky knife graze on her leg, holds up bandage*

Batman: *softer grunt, turns head another fraction to look at Black Bat*

Black Bat: *thumbs up, falls backwards off the roof edge to go help Red Robin*

Military guy: what the fuck

Batman: *produces small flashlight from pocket, points it at evidence nearby*

Robin: -tt- *begins bagging the evidence*

Batman: *flicks flashlight at a wall 30m away*

Nightwing: on it, B! *stops walking on his hands and goes to get the surveillance footage*

Red Hood, who has been slowly prowling in circles around the crime scene, with his guns out, seemingly ignoring everyone: *heavy sigh through the modulator*

Batman: *ignores*

Hood: *hesitates on a step*

Batman: *spins round, looking for the enemy*

Hood: *waves him off, recognising the person five roofs away as Huntress*

Batman: *returns to scene with a grunt*

Random military guy: VERBAL-

Robin: Do you really need your orders spelled out for you? Mother ensured I grew out of that by the time I was five.

Random military guy: wha-

Robin: You've not even been following the conversation we've all been having, have you? Civilians are so rude.

Random military guy: Who are you calling a civilian?!

Red Hood: This is Gotham. Who are *you* calling a civilian, army boy?

Random military guy: I am never letting myself be talked into vigilante-wrangling again. The Lanterns were fine, but not in Gotham. Never again.

Hood: S'what I thought. Relax, new guy, we'll have you out of city limits by dawn and you can go back to your cushy job on base.

Random military guy: Cushy, are you ki-

Spoiler: You get paid, my man. That's automatically cushy.

Batman: *wounded grunt*

Spoiler: No, you cannot just pay for my apartment. I will steal your credit cards and do it myself, like a grown up.

Batman: *hums*

Robin: You realise you just told him that he's indirectly paying your rent and he's going to be skipping around the cave now.

Spoiler: *finishing wrapping the bandage* Gotta throw him a bone sometimes.

Spoiler: Especially because I think this knife may have been poisoned.

Batman: *abandons crime scene, scoops Spoiler up and leaps off the roof to the Batmobile in less than five seconds*

Random military guy: Insane. You are all insane.

Nightwing, reappearing: You're just getting that, now? That's rough, buddy.

[aethirios]

What if, Peter glitches like 'Into the Spider verse' and he is actively dying/decaying in a molecular level and the only thing that is keeping him intact is Venom? (Like the current situation with MJ in the comics)

Ahh the potential. Here is a crack idea:

I can just imagine Peter and Venom kinda coming to a truce very begrudgingly. Venom wants to eat 'bad humans' and Peter having to reign it back cause hello? This is Gotham? And everyone is a candidate for that.

And maybe Peter passes out for a bit (exhaustion cause of a previous fight maybe?), and Venom decides they need food and completely takes over in full on Venom glory (cause Peter had stated no Spider-manning without scouting out the situation first and Venom can listen....sometimes)

That's how the bats find themselves surrounding a huge black monster with sharp teeth and a nightmarish long tongue and I imagine it going something like:

Dick: Easy there, big guy.

Jason: What the actual hell is that? Can we just start shooting already?

Venom: WE ARE VENOM.

Steph: Oh, great. It talks. Hey, ugly! What do you want?

Venom: NOT UGLY!

Steph: Wow. Sensitive.

Venom: WE ARE HUNGRY!

Tim: Hungry for what?

Venom: BAD HUMAN!

Dick: What does that even- yeah, nope. We're fighting that thing. Apprehend and then ask questions.

Jason: Finally. *Aims gun*

Steph: *sarcastically* You sure we can't get you something else, big guy? Really committed to the whole horror-monster aesthetic, huh?

Venom pauses.

Venom: ...CHOCOLATE.

Tim: Uh.

Jason: What?

Dick: Come again?

Venom: GIVE US CHOCOLATE!

A long silence follows.

Jason lowers his gun slightly.

Jason: Are we seriously negotiating snack preferences with the eldritch nightmare over there???

Dick: Apparently.

Venom: WE CAN SMELL CHOCOLATE.

Steph: You've got to be kidding me.

Venom: GIVE IT!

Tim: The fuck?

And so the bats watch this thing eat their whole stash of chocolates and transform into an ordinary looking guy.

And Peter opens his eyes to like 4 vigilantes staring down at him with very weird expressions.

[lilly-the-menace7]

peter takes in the situation and just sighs the deepest sigh ever sighed, and says “venom did something stupid while i was out didnt they.” before banging his head against the floor a few times and going “well, i don’t smell blood so im going to assume you lot handled it?” as he looks at them.

[demonic0angel]

I have a head cannon that Jason used to tell bed time stories to Damian when they were in the league. The stories were really Jason retelling his time in the ghost zone, but they still became some of Damian's favorites.

Jason exhausted and stuck babysitting: Oi demon brat bed time

Damian still in his Robin costume typing away at the bat computer: Tt

Jason sighed: what needs to happen for you to go to bed

Damian: tell me a story of Ghost Princess and Dead Robin

Jason: if you brush your teeth and are in bed in five minutes I'll consider it

Part 2

(Ooh, wait, I LOVE this HC!!)

“You’re reading him a story?” Tim asked curiously. “You’ve never done this before.”

Jason hummed. “I’m not “reading” him a story. I’m telling him one.”

Tim snorted, “Like I said, you’ve never done this before.”

“I did when we were in the League,” Jason replied and Tim fell silent. Jason ignored him and finally entered Damian’s room, where Titus and Alfred the cat were already staying. Damian stared at him in his bed, clearly trying not to look too eager but still bright with attention.

“Todd, you promised! The Ghost Princess and her Robin!” Damian said.

Jason’s lips quirked. He wasn’t sure if Damian knew that the so called stories he told were actually his broken memories of when he was dead.

His precious, fragmented memories of his Princess. He could still faintly recall her bright smiles and cheerful laughter, the way her hair shone a bright crimson, and her tall, black crown.

He had been her Robin, her loyal bodyguard and assistant.

“Well? Start,” Damian demanded.

Jason gave him a lighthearted glare. “Brat,” he muttered before he cleared his throat. Behind him, he could hear the door open and Tim, Bruce, and Cass poked their heads in. In Cass’ hand was her phone, where Jason could faintly hear Dick on the other line.

Jason rolled his eyes but as he looked at Damian’s wide, anticipating eyes, he just sighed and began.

“It was a cold day as always in the Ghost Zone where the Princess and her Robin were staying. As usual, she slept in her bed while her Robin watched over her. It was her brother, Wraith, who had woken her up and brought her to breakfast. That day, she faced a particular dilemma.” Jason paused for dramatic effect.

“Don’t tell me it’s breakfast choices again,” Damian sneered. “That was only funny when I was 7.”

“Shut up and listen,” Jason said sweetly. “The Princess had to travel to the southern regions of the Ghost Zone in order to mediate between two minor vassal kingdoms. The dilemma was that she also had to attend a social gathering that night where she had to convince the officials to allow her to build a library. Do you remember her siblings? Why do you think this was a problem?”

It had been years since Jason had ever told stories of his days down under in the realm of the dead. He hadn’t even been sure if Damian had remembered those bedtime stories until today.

Damian answered, “She has Wraith, the oldest and the wisest.” Jason snorted at the thought of Dan being the most wise. “Phantom, the crown prince and the strongest. And Spirit, the brightest and youngest.”

“What’s the name of the Princess? And why is she in charge if there’s a crown prince?” Tim asked from the door.

Jason glared at him. “First of all, you’re supposed to be pretending like you don’t exist. Secondly, she was the Queen Regent, I just call her the Princess because she didn’t enjoy the title.”

“And her name?” Cass asked.

Jason ignored her. After all, he had long since forgotten the name of his princess. He continued, “The problem was that the Ghostwriter was attending the social gathering and he had a nasty feud with Phantom. Meanwhile, Wraith wasn’t the right person to either negotiate deals or mediate between people, and Spirit was too young to know how to navigate ghostly society. Only twelve, like you.”

Jason thought about the memory fondly. “So the Princess was torn between two choices. This was her only chance to gain the support of the nobility that could help her build a library or build two alliances between two kingdoms that could help stabilize her rule. She was already distrusted and looked down upon by her citizens, so this was her only chance.”

Damian’s eyes lit up. “She called on Robin.”

From behind him, he could hear Dick’s soft call of “Robin?”

Jason smiled. “Yes. She called upon Robin, her most trusted. She entrusted him to attend the social gathering with her little sister and gain the support of the officials. So he and Spirit went to the event while the Princess went to the south with Phantom. Robin was a protector spirit, like Phantom, so he was respected and powerful. He was able to easily schmooze the poor suckers and they all agreed to give money to the Princess’ project. Meanwhile, the Princess’s mind was eased from her worries and she was able to break the fight between the two kingdoms. They all worked together and were able to accomplish both goals. The moral of the story? Always try to depend on the people around you because you can do amazing things if you’re together. The end.”

Cass snorted softly. “Hypocrite.”

Jason graciously ignored her again. He stood up but stopped when Damian got out of bed to grab his hand with a light glare. “Another! I want to hear another! That was too short!”

Jason just sighed and ruffled his hair. “I only promised one story. That’s all for today, Dami. Go to bed now.”

Damian pouted but still got back under his covers. Cass darted over to tuck him in and Jason walked past her and the gazes of both Tim and Bruce, who were staring at him with narrowed eyes.

Memories of that beautiful, kind, gentle girl entered his mind, but all of it felt like smoke through his fingers.

He wished he could’ve had more to tell, more to say about his time down under, but it was impossible.

How could he tell another story if his precious memories of her were already beginning to fade?

[demonic0angel]

I had a thought about Jason telling Damian stories. Damian thinks dead Robin is a ghost bird. Does not help that Jason has mentioned Robin moving his wings or loosing a feather

Part 1

(Omg yes)

“You know, I never knew that Red Hood told Little D bedtime stories at the League,” Nightwing said to Batman. “I need to visit home more often. I keep missing out.”

Phantom slightly turned his head towards them, interested in gossip. He had heard of the Red Hood before, but hadn’t ever met the guy, since he seemed antisocial and volatile from Batman’s words.

“Oh, you’re going to visit the Manor?” Batman asked, extremely casually, even though everyone and their mothers could see that he was standing at attention at Nightwing’s words, like a dog hearing the word “walk”.

Nightwing rolled his head in a physical imitation of rolling his eyes. “Sure, B. I’ll visit this week.”

“Hnn,” was Batman’s extremely overjoyed, jumping-in-glee answer. There was a pause before he asked, “What do you think of his stories?”

“Of the Ghost Princess and her Robin? I think it’s super cute, but I’m curious as to how he makes up stories with characters like Phantom or Wraith. Seems rather detailed, no?”

Phantom stood up then and everyone turned in his direction at the sound of his chair scraping against the floor.

If there was one thing that Phantom loved most in the world, it was his sister. And if there was one thing that she liked and mourned the most, then it was Robin, one of her most dearest and best friends while she was Queen Regent. However, he had been taken away by her by unseen forces that resurrected him in another world, rendering him unable to be found.

Phantom turned to the two standing in the corner and floated over. “Did you mention a Ghost Princess? I want to hear this.”

Nightwing and Batman shared a look and the former said, “Hmm. You and the character Phantom share the same name, huh?”

“I’m also a ghost, y’know?” Phantom said, his hands behind his back in an innocent pose. He looked at them with big, sparkly green eyes, already able to tell that both of them were softening. He wasn’t much older than Red Robin and he loved taking advantage of that. “Can I hear about the Ghost Princsss?”

“It’s a bedtime story that my son created in order to soothe my youngest to sleep,” Batman replied. “It’s a story about a ghost queen and her loyal subject, Robin, as they handle and take care of things in their kingdom.”

“Robin?” Phantom asked, pretending to be confused. “Like your Robin?”

Nightwing shrugged. “I asked our Robin and he thinks that “Robin” was more like a literal bird creature than an actual person like us, since Red Hood would mention golden wings.”

Phantom’s mind flashed back to the Robin he knew, whose yellow wings covered him like a cape as he protected Jazz. It was sounding more and more like this Red Hood was telling the story of Robin and Jazz together.

“Huh,” Phantom said. “That sounds interesting. What about the Ghost Princess and the character Phantom?”

Batman replied, “The Ghost Princess seemed to be queen regent, but preferred to be called princess, while this “Phantom” character was her crown prince. The two were a pair of siblings with two others, Wraith and Spirit.”

Phantom’s eyes widened.

Spirit was a name that Dani had chosen for herself when she was still figuring out her identity. However, what made it special was that she had never revealed her name to the public population in the Ghost Zone, meaning that only a few individuals knew her name. A few individuals that included Robin.

Phantom smiled. “That sounds interesting! I love ghost stories, I’d love to hear this story in person!”

There was no way he was going to let this go. He was most definitely going to find this Red Hood and drag him back to Jazz, kicking and screaming if he had to!

[babbling-babull]

DP X DC Prompt #49

When Batman dies he comes back as a ghost nearly immediately. He soon finds a stable portal to cross through, intending to find Gotham as soon as possible.

What he finds is a teen hero in desperate need of help. He can help.

[hdgnj]

Ah, Danny now has a hero mentor. This would be better if his main antagonists weren't ghost hunters. Danny is trying to keep Batman in the Realms... It isn't going too well.

[evilminji]

It's the escape artist training, Dad Shaping, and unethical use of Logic(tm). Which is a crime against him, Danny, specifically. This dad shaped man is bullying him! With earnest concern and offers to help and support him!

Is clearly terrified for his family and city but REFUSES to "abandon" Danny! D:> Stop being everything Danny's been praying for! This feels like a TRAAAAAP! He's gonna get attached then something BAD WILL HAPPEN!

*awkward BatHug deployed* its going to be Okay, Danny.

Nooooooooo T^T *is imprinting so hard you can see it from space*

[hdgnj]

Bruce probably starts guarding the inside of the portal. Sets up traps using Fenton tech. Makes sure no ghosts cause trouble during school. Well, for the ones he can stop any way. Danny hasn't had this much rest since he died! Batman is so nice. 10/10. Teaches him stuff, without being creepy!

[babbling-babull]

Consider, the Ghost Baby Off-limits headcanon is at play, so even though this is a veteran Batman, he's seen as a baby. And when he explains why he's guarding the portal? It's seen as a baby being taken care of by a even babier baby.

[hdgnj]

Imagine Danny's rogues having their meltdown about being beaten by a baby. In front of Bruce. Who is like... How did you not understand that he was freshly dead? Power levels are not always indicative of age people!!

[babbling-babull]

"HE WAS IN THE SALEM WITCH TRIALS, I THOUGHT HE WAS OLDER THAN US"

[babbling-babull]

"HE WAS WHAT" -a ghost, probably

[hdgnj]

Bruce drops his head thinking for a moment. Ok, understandable. But! Natural portals can do that! You have a time ghost! You could have asked! Phantom isn't even two years dead! Now go say sorry! Says the two month dead ghost. At least he died an adult, and therefore will be respected. More so than still a teen, baby ghost.

[brain-deadx0]

Jason gets a call one day from a random number and theres a kid on the other end saying Jasons Dad told him to call.

Obviously Bruce has been dead for a bit so Jason is sus until the kid says one of the batcodes

The whole family is wondering if Bruce is actually dead or if this is more of a lost in time thing again (hes very dead but he does not care. Hes Batman.)

[hdgnj]

Given that the code is about a new family member needing training? Jason might just laugh himself sick. Look, B is dead, and somehow still adopted. What the fuck B!? He is absolutely tying off loose ends and getting himself to Amity Park. He can't wait to see what the fuck is happening. If he is taking a camera along? Well that's between him and Babs.

[emerald-cobracat]

Batman of corse returns to Gotham and crime fighting. No one knows batman was/is dead.

Cue the justice league having to summon or fight someone from the GZ/Infinte realms. They take one look at Batman and just start parenting/baby talking/treating him like a child.

And Batman doesn’t do anything about it! His core is humming happily because he is a baby ghost despite being a adult human.

The justice league is going nuts.

[babbling-babull]

Funny if it's a child, funnier if it's an adult. But consider, they summon an eldtriitch being who won't stop cooing about babies

[hdgnj]

Batman has to have not known this was the magic users plans. Or he would have just called Danny. Which, let's be real? As soon as he knew this was the plan? Danny got a text off his ghost bestie/hero mentor. Promptly dives through the phone and pops up just behind him.

Danny: Why is Lady Pandora here?

Batman: Realms issue came up. As Earth's resident Realms wrangler? I thought it time to introduce you to JLD. As they didn't even explain that it was a Realms issue until they summoned Lady Pandora.

Zatanna: How do you even know about the Infinite Realms?!

Danny: Cause he's Batman. Duh.

Batman: This is Phantom. The hero of Amity Park. He babysits a permanent portal between the Realms and Earth.

Danny: Urgh. Babysits is right. So! Who are we fighting this time!

Zatanna: Batman? Are you sure? The being running around isn't an everyday spirit! The Ancient of Dreams isn't something for a teen to fight!

Danny: Wait! Nocturn got out again!?! Urgh! What's he doing this time?!

Batman: Phantom has previously fought Nocturn, Undergrowth, Fright Knight, Pariah Dark and Plasmius.

Danny: I've fought more than that! But they were the most powerful yeah.

[unprecedenteddpxdchyperfixation]

Constantine in the corner, paling with every name added to the list and hugging his flask like its a lifeline

[bianca-hooks123]

I’m still imagining an eldritch being cooing over The Batman.

Eldritch being: *gasp* A BABY!! Coochie coo! Coochie Coochie coo! Hello little one!! 😍

The Batman, slightly tilting his head back so the eldritch being can gently tickle his chin with their huge fuckin claws: *deadpan* Hello. It is very nice to meet you. I know that I am a very cute baby, but my associates have summoned you for assistance. Please focus.

Eldritch being: You. Are. ADORABLE!! 🥰

[hdgnj]

As soon as Danny arrives they gasp again. Another Baby! You have friends! Aww! Ouch! Bitey baby! Aww. Lookit his lil fangies!

Meanwhile Batman just taps Danny. We have an actual issue! Danny stops biting and listens. Oh sure! He can do that easy!

[ailithnight]

Love that the League summoned an (probably known to be extremely powerful) eldritch entity for help, only for said entity to do absolutely nothing helpful and this "random" Midwestern teen to show up and upstage them all.

[hdgnj]

The Ancient would absolutely help once the babies went to battle. Just in case. They would do that thing. You enter the fight as well, just in case. Watch every move. So you can jump in if needed, but let the kids figure it out. If not needed? You can then coo and praise them. If needed to help? You coo and reassure.

[bianca-hooks123]

Ancient: It’s like watching their first steps once they stop holding your hand. You stay close enough to catch, but really you are just there to be a cheer section.

📷📸📷📸📷📸

You’re doing amazing sweeties!!

😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹

[hdgnj]

You know after Diana and Clark at the very least are going to demand answers. Bruce just sighs. And clicks a button on his wrist. The magic users/sensitive in the league all turn to him in shock. What the fuck! Batman! Since when!

Bruce: I died six months ago. As is protocol it wasn't announced. Since many of us return, one way of another. This time I came back as a ghost. Phantom is the protector of Amity Park's permanent portal. I stayed for a while to mentor him. But had him contact my children. They turned up to help. And likely to ensure I was still myself.

Marvel: Uh, question Mr Batman. How did you damper your aura like that?!?

Bruce: Phantom created the device. It users electromagnetic fields manipulation to scramble and hide Ecto signatures.

Zatanna: Wait! The kid?!?! How?!

Bruce: He is incredibly intelligent. And the son of mad scientists. He used their work on reading Ecto signatures to work it out.

Clark: Why did you hide it from us?

Bruce: Why would I mention it? I am still here. Changed yes. But not gone. It would have caused unnecessary distress.

[avayarising]

Fsssssffffffx ‘unnecessary distress’. That is so in-character.

On the other hand, you know who would have been in real distress? His kids, for those two months or so between his death and Danny’s phone call.

Bruce died as Batman, from an injury in the field. He was still alive when he was brought back to the Cave and died in the presence of his family. Though he didn’t regain consciousness and they didn’t get to say goodbye, there was no chance for the body to be swapped; there is no doubt that Bruce is dead.

They all get very drunk for a night or two. Even Jarro, who, as a telepath, is basically getting drunk by proxy.

They had a drawn-out knock-down fight over what to do about Bruce. Tim and Damian were in favour of attempting a resurrection (Pit or Apokalips). Dick and Jason and Cass were very much not. They’ve reached a compromise; they are not actively working on it but the body is in frozen storage with a lot of alarms on it.

Jason, who’s doing a lot better these days, took the cowl. Cass will take over eventually, but for the moment Jason is the best at maintaining the illusion of continuity. They have a cover story ready to go for Bruce Wayne’s death.

And then Jason receives the phone call, to his Oracle-secured batphone from an unknown number.

That usually means one of the other Bats on a burner, which usually means trouble, so he answers.

“Um, hi?” Not a voice he recognises, at all. “Is this Jason?”

Young. Male. Midwestern. Asking for Jason on the Batphone. Could be real trouble. “No, this is Mark,” he says. “You’ve got the wrong number.”

“He said you’d say that. Um, Jason? I have a message from your dad.”

Jason gets angry and breaks code. “My dad is dead.”

“I know,” says the voice. “He says, recognition code bee zero one, whisky delta india hotel mike… no, sorry, hotel sierra mike kilo, circumference, um… flange, uh… requirement? Requirement.”

Jason can’t say a word. Can’t breathe. It’s B’s code all right, no coercion, not compromised, and he felt the need to specify no time travel. But what he really can’t get over is the way it sounds like the kid is listening to someone prompting and correcting him, someone who’s standing there with him.

“And he says, contingency four two seven gee and… three one five? Yeah, three one five bee.”

Jason doesn’t know these from the top of his head. He rouses enough to drop Tim a quick text. Tim knows all the contingencies, the little freak.

Jason: contingencies 427g and 315b

Tim: !!!!!!!!!

Jason: what are they?

Tim: holy shit

Tim: moving to group chat

Jason swipes over to the batchat group.

Tim: jason just texted

Tim: b’s come back as a ghost

Tim: and he’s adopted again

“Jason?” says his phone. “Jason? …are you still there?”

[hdgnj]

Jason is, of course, somewhat overwhelmed by this new knowledge. Relief and grief mixing together. because his Dad is back! But.. His Dad is a ghost. Still dead, changed forever. But, has adopted again? So still the same man they all know and love. His newest baby brother sounds so young and unsure. Clearly B's only just found him. Not had enough time to train him properly. He needs a minute, but his new baby (probably a ghost, oh fuck, B's ghost has adopted a dead teen.) brother is still on the line. So he has to push it to the side and get his shot together.

Jason: Yeah, yeah I'm still here. So, B's a ghost huh? How'd you meet him?

Danny: Oh, um, there's a portal? To the Infinite Realms in my city. It's um, it's in my basement? My, my parents built it. I accidentally turned it on. So, so it's my job to keep everyone safe. Batman heard about it. He wanted to get back to Gotham. Um, but he um, he felt I needed help. But, I'm not, not always there. So...

Jason: Its ok kid. Take your time. Sounds like B has his hands full over there. He asking for Justice League backup?

Jason heard the muttering start again. Why wasn't B using the phone? Maybe it was a ghost thing? Something to ask the kid.

Danny: No. Batman wants you to come visit. And help train me? Batman can't leave until we figure out a way for him to have a believable human form. And figure out how to get him enough Ecto to feed off.

[ailithnight]

A believable human form...

"What if I brought his preserved corpse with me? Think that would be of any help?"

[hdgnj]

I can't help but imagine the sigh the leaves Frostbite when he sees; the Great One, the Batman, the Red Hood and Batman's corpse being brought to him. And when he asks why? Gets told they want to know if Batman can use it as a way to pass as a human. If his old corpse will be able to sustain such.

(Also, side note, but do colour inversion rules work here? Because B? Probably not best pleased if he is bright white.)

[babbling-babull]

Okay, I see your white Batman suit, and raise you he's Eyesearingly Neon Pink. You know the color, the one that seems to dlow in the dark.

And let's say for angst, that no. He cannot use the preserved body BECAUSE it is preserved. The preservatives have filled in enough of the body so it no longer counts as "Bruce" to his ectoplasm

[hdgnj]

Look, we all know Tim would hear that and cackle gleefully. He gets to use his cloning knowledge for good you say? It'll take a few months for the best to be ready. Just you wait. *gleeful evil laughter*

The reason I was going with white? Was mainly the pun-tential. He's no longer the Dark Knight. But the Light Knight. (Because nite lite).

[ailithnight]

How about mostly white with eye-searingly pink Bat symbol/belt.

Or maybe a neon green suit with the eye-searingly pink symbol/belt. Which would obviously be irritating for him in the human world. Neon green and pink are very attention grabbing. But then in the realms he would retain his nature and ability to slip into the "shadows". The shadows here more or less just being the ambient environment which Ghost Batman still blends in to.

In a way, it would be like the Universe itself telling Batman, "No, you don't belong to this world any more. Batman belongs to the Infinite Realms now. Go back to the new shadows you fit into." Not that Bruce is going to heed that message.

As for the body, it's at least still good for a dna sample. From there, Tim can work with the Yetis to grow Bruce a ghost compatible, empty human body. Although I don't think it should be quite that simple or easy. There needs to be some kind of counter-balance. A price to pay for the luxury of returning to and passing freely in the human world.

[hdgnj]

Ecto green with neon pink belt and symbol is perfect. Yeah, the universe can say what it wants. It allowed him to continue his existence. The universe should have known better than to think he wouldn't go home.

Oh absolutely. I'm thinking corpse au shenanigans? If Bruce wants to use his ghost powers he has to drop his body off at the cave. Whoch, let's be real, would cause some serious psychic damage to his family the first few times.

[babbling-babull]

Especially if the bodies dies without Bruce to pilot it. Like pulling the keys out if a cars ignition

[hdgnj]

Maybe there's a grace period. That can be extended by putting the body on life support/in suspension. Not at all further traumatizing his kids. Right up till they are numb to it and begin making jokes. Bruce coming back to find them play acting "sad about Dad in a coma". Or his face being covered in doodles.

[backupstardust]

There’s a grace period where the body will keep breathing on its own, AND of course, sometimes there’s ghost emergencies where he doesn’t have time to get it back to the batcave. So he has to drop it off somewhere and call someone to pick it up.

Which generally leads to Bruce’s body getting “weekend at Bernie’s”-ed by his children.

They get a whole scrapbook’s worth of embarrassing pics they posed him for, a few of which have his ghost in the background smirking. This technically counts as family bonding time right?

[hdgnj]

Of course, now the rest of the Justice League know about this? He can traumatise them as well! Just, leave his body to stretch out properly and then get back in. In full view of the team. Who are now included in the emergency body pick up plans. They also get to see him in all his green and pink glory. Danny of course is not at all fazed when Batman drops his body. Ever. As far as he is concerned? The body is essentially a coat. This only re-inforces the fact that this is a dead teen. The fact he also has his living form? Doesn't matter here. He's dead enough for that to be nothing important.

[kizzer55555]

Imagine that for his Brucie persona, he says that he has suddenly and spontaneously developed narcolepsy to explain why his body just suddenly ‘faints’ for long periods of time out of nowhere. Bruce just turns invisible before exiting the body so he can be in a hotel, meeting, gala, or car and the body looks like it just goes slack (but is still breathing). So while Bruce is often unconscious during villain attacks he can also do this to respond to SOS messages from the other bats. (does he use this ‘fainting’ to get out of meetings? Oh yes he does.)

(Or even better. He hires a blob to ‘take the wheels’ for a bit whenever he has to go Batman. This shall be Alfred the Blob).

[hdgnj]

Maybe he offers Deadman the chance. since he is a colleague he can trust. Like, I have a two week mission. where ghost powers would be best. If you could over shadow my corpse and make a few public appearances? Give you a chance to eat something for a change.

[nerdpoe]

"High King" is an interchangeable title, and it purely means "strongest infinite realms being at this particular point in time". It is also a test to determine new Ancients.

Whoever can defeat the previous High King gains the empty title, but more importantly they have their domain as an Ancient determined. The Infinite Realms, sapient and older than time and existence, monitors how the fight went down, and assigns a domain.

For Pariah Dark, who laid bloody siege to gain the title, it is Destruction.

For Danny?

It is, surprisingly, not Heroism. It's not Protection.

It's Thieves.

As far as the Infinite Realms are concerned, he started the battle by stealing supplies, and ended it stealing back Amity Park to the Living Realm.

Danny Phantom is the High King of the Infinite Realms, the Infant Ancient of Thieves.

This gives him a few perks none of the other High Kings had, namely the biggest and most important one; as the Ancient of Thieves, there are, quite literally, no sigils, cages, or traps that can detain him.

So evading the GIW is a breeze now, as is not getting caught by his parents.

The annoying part is constantly having to prove this to delusional cultists when he's summoned.

~~~~~~

John Constantine, who is well aware that the title of High King changed hands and is also aware that the newest Ancient is the Ancient of Thieves, is betting on being able to convince the strange Ancient to steal him.

Because Constantine is trapped in a room with walls that are literally closing in, it's filling with water, and any potential exit is enchanted by demons to prevent him from leaving.

He really, really pissed them off this time.

But, he thinks as the Ancient of Thieves appears before him, they forgot to set the enchantments to stop him from bringing someone in.

[kizzer55555]

#phanfic#story prompt#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc#dc x dp#danny doesn't realize it yet but this also makes him the patron ancient of spies#guess who he's gonna feel an immediate connection to?#any bat that played a spy at any point#which is all of them

So technically, Danny owns Constantine now. Not because he was sold his soul, but because Danny literally just stole the guy. Imagine someone tries to get Constantine and he just said, “sorry, I’m already taken.” He might even jokingly call Danny ‘Master’ (despite the kid being decades younger than him) to annoy Danny. Like, just seriously talking in a JL meeting and says he can just make a call to his master. Completely straight faced. Accidentally gaslights the entire JL into thinking Danny is an adult magic being who just happens to look like a child.

Also, I’m just imagining Danny being summoned by various summoning circles, looks them dead in the eyes, says he will just leave if there isn’t anything important, and when they don’t believe him he just casually walks out the circle (or makes a peace sign and does that fade into invisibility meme.)

[nerdpoe]

what if stealing Constantine overrode any claim to his soul?

He's the Ancient of Thieves, why would contract laws apply to him?

Can you imagine how much more of a nightmare Constantine would be to deal with if he was powered by the Ancient of Thieves instead of those contracts?

A man who's the equivalent of a magic lawyer with how much he loves to talk circles around people powered by a being that's very existence is to disregard the rules.

[kizzer55555]

That’s exactly what I was thinking. It’s why he’s very adamant on the ‘master’ thing. Part of it is because it annoys Danny. The other part is that he does not want to lose the sweet benefits of being under the ancient of thieves. And he’s so dramatic with it. Like someone calls Danny short.

Constantine: DRAMATIC GASP! “You dare?! You dare call my beloved master short?! You dare point out his pint size! SHAME! Shame on you!”

And Danny is just groaning in a corner trying to hide his face. He has…so many regrets.

[savanir]

There has got to be some downsides though. Is Ancient of Thieves Danny now a kleptomaniac? Does he feel a overwhelming need to have whenever he sees something that catches his attention?

And maybe his appearance gradually takes on more raccoon and magpie like traits.

I guess it could be an interesting Justice League Dark story when more and more shiny and powerful artifacts start disappearing from the world and it turns out that Hermes challenged Danny to a fun thievery challenge.

[nerdpoe]

On top of that merchants of any kind fully expect him to steal from them, even if he's going out of his way to not do that, regardless of who owns the store or how big it is.

He can "sniff" out thieves, which means anyone who's stolen anything pings on his radar, which is overwhelming in large crowds because literally everyone has stolen something at least once in their lives.

Thieves mean stealth, which means Danny can fade into the background. This is great but also a huge negative; his parents and teachers sometimes completely forget he's there.

Teachers don't hand him homework papers, his parents forget to set his place at the table, Sam and Tucker will make plans and forget he's right there to include so they text him asking where he is (that ones kinda funny actually), etc.

drawbacksssssssssssssss

[lias36912]

Does stealing someone's life aka killing them count as thievery? Does he know what someone stole or just that they did? Can he only steal physical objects or can he also steal something incorporeal like virtual data?

[nerdpoe]

Oh that'd be so fucked up.

Looks at someone who's super nice and knows "this person stole the lives of twenty men on the fields of battle" and exactly how it was done, or looks at someone who seems like an every day joe and discovers a serial killer because his senses ping off like "this person stole the lives of fifteen women all in the same manner".

All thievery is his domain; theft of life, theft of information, theft of physical items....

bro got labeled the Ancient of Thieves and became the patron Ancient of not just thieves, but murderers and liars.

[uniasus]

Does he look at his parents and see that his death count as them stealing his life?

Is the ancient of thieves, himself stolen from life?

[evilminji]

I wanna say? No. But he CAN feel the Death on them, same as any other Ancient. Can hear the lingering shades hissing and weeping, wanting to move on, but being unable too. Not strong enough to STAY, like a proper ghost... but anchored by this wrong done against them. Waiting for Judgment. For Balance to be restored.

Justice.

He can't necessarily DO anything about it... but he sure could call the Ghost Cops.

Now, if you stole their IDENTITY? Their "Life"? Money, social security, job, future, etc? If you scammed the innocent and ruined lives? Oh THAT he can smell like a stench. Like rot of the soul.

The man who's taken bread vs. The CEO who's greed ruined millions.

Both Theives.

However, only ONE of those is favored. The OTHER gets Karma. Punishment. Because BEFORE? There was no Ancient governing this Concept. It was no man's land. Anarchy. You COULD do as you pleased with no consequences! But NOW?

NOW Thieving has RULES.

And GODS help you if you DARE break the RULES. (Cause they are the only ones who CAN)

But! Fun fact? He IS the Ancient of MAGIC TRICKS! Cause a lot of those are slight of hand! Stealing back cards, hiding them, etc. And? Since he's heroically alligned? (Which is LUCKY AS HELL. They'll all drink to that!) There IS an uptick in Heroic Phantom (lol, goddammit it, he should have known. Clockwork you BASTARD! Is THIS why you kept laughing at my name?) Thief types.

Better offset your wrong doings! Cause any Little Guy who decides to steal back what's rightfully theirs? Is gonna succeed. And THEN SOME.

Constantine? Has never loved this trick more. He can sell his soul over and over. Because SURELY, your malevolence, YOU are strong enough, CLEVER enough, to keep it! :)

(You lil shit)

Mother fu-! ...Yeah, no. The SMART ones? Fucking refuse after like five times. But all the rest? Play wack a mole. And Hell never learns. Danny's on fuckin speed dial to this tricky, drunk, "makes exclusively poor life choices" lil bitch. Dude buys him some of the best burgers he's ever had.

He wants to shake him and scrape him off the floor. Guy's his sad lil meow meow. Great person! Under, you know, all the drunk and whoring bastard.

.........look, he has that effect on people, okay?

Most of the justice league: "we know"

What's GREAT? Is that a CERTAIN fucking helmet? Is a THIEF. Doesn't like him. Because he's not the Natural Order. (Not the Natural Order, my ASS! You just don't like that we're inherently Chaotic Entities! BIGOT!)

Danny should threaten to STEAL Zatanna's dad right out from under him. See how he likes THAT!

@the-witchhunter @babbling-babull @mayfay @legitimatesatanspawn

[legitimatesatanspawn]

Nabu as a thief of another being's time, life, potential... ouch.

Setting aside Nelson for a second, wasn't there two people who got fused into one person for a bit and wore the helmet? And she was Nelson's wife to boot?

All the things they could've done individually, that's their lives stolen from them too. Granted that's a crime not yet committed in this timeline. This is the Young Justice timeline if we're talking about Zatanna's dad. Which means not only did he steal life and potential from Kent Nelson, but also stole time from Wally West and nearly kept the teen's body for himself. This resulted in Nabu stealing Nelson's ghost.

Nabu stole the body of a hero (Zatara) by holding the body of another's ransom (Zatanna). And in the next ten years, Zatara could only get a single hour back. An entire year, only to have a single hour.

Nabu in Young Justice was desperate to get back instead of rotting on a shelf, but chose to steal almost a solid decade from someone who could've been not only living his own life but also helping people and acting on the side of his precious Order.

He's in big trouble.

Danny's about to have fun with the Karma Bat.

[evilminji]

Oooooh yeah. Cause like?

What IS an Ancient?

You certainly don't WORSHIP them. They aren't Gods! This is not some weak shit Faith and Belief nonsense. No. This? Is is WARDEN shit. It's "oh fuck, the MODs are here!" Type shit.

Does Clockwork, ANCIENT of Time, not keep you all from fucking up Time itself? Irreparable breaking it? It can be ARGUED that the only reason anybody even CAN break it right now? Is cause he's under Arrogant Eyeball House Arrest.

Which I mean.... golly gee! If ONLY he had someone, perhaps some sort of THIEF, capable of BREAKING that! But how could HE, Master of all timelines, capable of seeing through Time itself, possibly KNOW such a ghost would appear? KNOW when and WHERE to step in and introduce himself, so as to become Good Friends?

.......now that just seems unlikely! (^-^)

*loaded silence from other ghosts*

(Oh yeah... they forget this guy's fuckin terrifying. Well....shit...)

Cause like? Who do you call? If some random time god is going ape shit? Clockwork. Timetravelers? Clockwork. A world ending event you'd like to undo and think he might let you? Alright, better make a good case! Or your atoms will never have exsisted!

Of course they're Chaotic. They govern A LOT of contradictory elements, all under the same header.

Danny gets EVERY aspect that could and does relate to Thievery. Magic tricks, identity fraud, magical possession, escape artistry, disguises...

It's like the Ancient of Space! You think their whole thing is JUST about a planet or two? "Space" means EVERY SINGLE THING going on? On Earth. On EVERY planet. Black holes. Super novas. Weird space lazers. Things beyond the event horizon. Shit you can't even imagine!

Being a baby Ancient is like intro to colors. Basic math. He's not NEARLY deep enough into the weeds of his own powers to pull of the crazy shit. But the fact that "crazy shit"? Means bitch slapping gods and keeping all of creation stable? FOREVER?

Is a big job, for a baby.

Especially since he? Much Like Pariah? Is probably still gonna be stuck in that knee jerk "but I GOT to react to my Concept, with my Conceot, ABOUT MY CONCEPT, CONCEPT CONCEPT! Or I'll diiiiieeeeeee!!!!!"

Just... you know... bit less burning villiages, when it's thievery. Just Danny, sitting with his head in his hands, in a Dennys, surrounded by half a museum he didn't even WANT to take... b-but it was so SHINEY, Superman. Oh god... I did it AGAIN! Please take it all back! I'm so EMBARRASSED ( T^T) I swear I'm getting better! I PROMISE!

*his hand unconsciously tries to shove the salt shake in his magical ghost cloak*

*Superman gently takes it out of his hand without his noticing and puts it on the table behind them, out of reach* you sure are buddy. Wanna come apologize to the curators with me? Explain the situation?

[lilly-the-menace7]

His raccoon energy intensifies and he just

Danny: sees shiny and or cursed thing

Danny, body going faster than brain: Mine! Snatches for hoard

Danny, like a week later: where did I even GET this?? Oh well puts it back in his collection/horde

[babbling-babull]

DP X DC Prompt #67

Killer Croc is running away from some guy dressed as a Pharoh. (Tucker is trying to ask Killer Croc on a date.)

[hdgnj]

Danny, Tucker and Sam moved to Gotham for college. After, everything, was sorted out and settled down? They wanted to get away from Amity Park. And hey, Gotham have great scholarships!

Right now however? Sam and Danny were watching as Tucker tried, (and failed), to get a boyfriend. Danny had pulled out the camera after the first failed attempt. Tucker was being the worst. Poor Croc.

The video of the second attempt went viral. And neither of them were ever going to let Tucker live this down.

Danny: And here we have attempt four.

Sam: You'd think the man would learn a new approach....

Danny: He thinks Mr Jones needs an aggressive suitor. Something about the guy always being seen as big and scary?

Sam: Ahh. So that's why he's flung himself into his path. Screaming "let me love you".

Danny: Yup!!!

[gothfoxx]

Dressed up Tucker brings Croc things to liven up his den, low-light low-maintenance plants, warm furs, and spicy incense.

Then he moves on to foods, whole hogs and sheep, beef back, and exotics like moose and ostrich.

After that Tucker tries giving Croc clothing made to withstand his scaled skin and his rough lifestyle, beautifully designed to match Tucker’s Egyptian wooing-wear.

I feel like Croc would finally actually talk with Tucker when Tucker turns all wolfy and “monstrous”, cause now he gets it, Tucker knows what it’s like to be seen as less than human, he knows what it’s like to be called a monster.

[hdgnj]

And then meets his two best friends. Goth Plant Witch, and Eldritch Ghost Prince. And like, yeah ok. This man has never been normal in his life has he. Also, you two are bastards! There's a damn meme of me fleeing Tucker!!!

[babbling-babull]

I mean, if this is when Waylon is trying to leave crime behind, then this could be hysterical.

Tucker: shows up at the Batcave "I'd like to talk to Waylon's parole furry"

[hdgnj]

Tucker and his besties helping drag Waylon out of crime and getting him set up n a decent job. Mostly so Tucker doesn't have to miss him when he's sent to Arkham? More likely than you think.

Red Hood drops in to interrogate Tucker at his flat. Danny and Sam are there for dinner and just look over. Like, oh hey! Didn't you want to see Waylon's parole furry?? Seems he has a parole crime lord instead!!

Waylon being advice from Roy, who he helped. The core Outlaws all wandering by to check he's not being pressured into anything. Like, we can totes beat him up for you!!

[evilminji]

It's ALSO coincidentally? A lot harder to be scared of a meme? Like? Oh that's not Scary Giant Killer Croc(tm). THAT'S "Let Me Love You" guy, you know, they one who ran away from a dude a third his size like a distressed Victorian maiden seeing a mouse? Scrambled up a street light?

There was a funky compilation video.

It's HILARIOUS.

Because of course it was. Waylon has a resting Murder Face and muscles for days. He's being hunted for sport by a tiny string bean tech nerd that HAS to be asthmatic and probably reads tech manuals for fun. Itty bitty twig of a man. And here is this HUGE Meta going "EEK~! Not ROSES! Oh NO, weaponized hugging! He might take me DANCING! Run awaaaaaay!" Like the world's most BAMF looking tsundere.

The memes are brutal and endless. Thirst edits too.

Because honestly? The Reptilian Furries (which I can not spell to save my life right now, but are Scale-ies?) Are all going: "Saaaaaaame. Man has IMPECCABLE Taste." And people are Bonk-ing them with horny jail memes and reminders not to fetishize Metas etc etc.

All while Waylon is just? Look he's not even sure if he IS gay! Or Bi! Or ANYTHING! His dating years were spent being hated and feared. And adult years mostly in jail! Cool you jets just a BIT, my guy! He says, somehow folding himself to hide behind (mostly) behind Roy.

Which is fair.

Tucker can respect that. He ALSO didn't have the best time, dating wise. And he didn't even have obvious Meta powers. Does Waylon still want this nice elk he got him? It's juicy!

And just? Roy standing there? Like "you BETTER not pressure my boy into anything he's not ready for. I'm watch you, punk." Radiating Dad Energy.

Gotham would be SO invested in their weird Meme/redemption love story? Its? SO Gotham. You other cities wouldn't GET it. Jones had a hard life, yeah? Made bad decisions. Is trying to turn his life around and find love. It speaks to them. They've all been there. Heck, they even heard Brucie Wayne reached out!

Wants to hire the big guy! Desk job and everything! And yeah, maybe it's some rich guy publicity stunt, but? They hope he takes it. Hope he MAKES it, man.

Also, that Pharoh kid is NUTS. Funny though.

[hdgnj]

Roy just staring down this college kid who is trying to convince one of his people to date them. On the one hand, this IS hilarious. But on the other, Waylon helped turn his life around. He's not letting this guy Fuck him about. No siree. At least the guy is consistent? Keeps bringing out gifts Waylon actually likes. Turned up with a modified phone and laptop that could survive his claws and general strength. Useful shit.

Tucker is trying to be respectful, and too about this. He swears. But he would really like his crush to give him even one chance? Please?

Waylon is all sorts of conflicted. Yeah Tucker is in college. But uh, Waylon is a good 15 years older. And an ex-con. As well as someone with very few career prospects. Add to that the fact he's never really been able to date before? How does he do that? Is he even into guys? Is he even into sex stuff? He's not had enough chances to know...

[evilminji]

Oh no... not the "what could a hot young thing like him, see in a washed up old has been like me?" Spoken by a grizzled BAMF! The Gothamite Pharaoh-Kid/Waylon OTP club can only handle SO MUCH! Aaaaaaaaa-!!!!!

[hdgnj]

Roy is stood there, arms crossed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Sighs deeply. Pulls out his phone and calls Jason.

Roy: We need help. With Jones. Yeah, yeah.... Did you see the latest video? Yeah well.

Hangs up and points sternly at Waylon.

Roy: Stay the Fuck there. We are getting stuff put together. And asking those questions. The fan club is gettin creepy. So we gotta sort this!

Jason, Harley, Ivy and Selina arrive. Kori pulling up the back. They have a series of lads mags, for all orientations. Questionnaires. Theoretical scenarios. And food. So much food.

Jason: Right! Let's figure your shit out!!

Harley: This ain't gonna be a comprehensive test mind! But it'll be enough ta give ya an idea!!!

A few hours later Waylon is both drunk and mortified. The group are feeling pretty good about themselves. And Tucker turns up on his door step. Full Pharoh outfit. Gold shimmery make up that makes his eyes pop. The whole package. He's got a new cooker. Danny helped him make it run off ambient ecto. So even if Waylon is on the run? He can still cook.

The rest of them share a grin at the situation. And push Tucker into Waylon's lap 'by accident ' as they leave. Waylon will figure out if he wants Tucker from there. Roy snaps a quick photo and sends it to Tucker's friends. All of them are way too invested. And share info back and forth. Only hiding it from their respective idiot.

Two days later? Roy gets a text saying Tucker never showed back home. Are any of their side willing to brave Waylon's place, and the potential for psychological scarring? Roy drags Jason along. All four of them very much trying to play not it. None of them want to be the one to knock.

Danny:.... We could get one of their shippers to do it?

Sam: Have we, or have we not? Fought God like beings together?

Danny: I still don't wanna see Tucker's bare arse thanks!

[mosh-rem]

Danny ancient and embodiment of space: Sam I can tell the molecules in their bodies to stop bonding and literally take them apart molecule by molecule. I can't wipe the image of Tuks ass from my mind nor banish him from existence to prevent that.

[hdgnj]

Now that they are together? Waylon is a proper gentleman to his love. Escorts him everywhere properly. Kiss on the hand. Opens doors for him. Pulls out his seat.

Gotham love them. It's so cute! The scary ex-mobster and his tiny twink. So in love, so cute. So Gotham! That, they say, is peak goals!

[babbling-babull]

If they get married, do you think Batman and all his birds show up? Some of the Rouges Walon is on better terms with?

Which last name do they take? Waylon, Foley,

[acediaooc]

They do the both names hyphenated thing.

[hdgnj]

Danny, being a little shit, grins and refuses to call Tucker anything except 'Mr. Foley-Jones'. For weeks after the wedding. Tuck blushes every time. Gets a dopey, love sick smile. Not that Waylon is any better. But Danny is leaving that to Harper and Todd. They can tease their person, he will tease his.

[spacedace]

dc x dp prompt thing:

Elle popped a handful of skittles in her mouth as she watched the shit show that Billy had just walked into. Everyone was yelling - at him - about Elle and about him knowing she was just a child and shouting about how could you lie about something like this? and on and on. All he had heard was that she’d been attacked and was in the Watchtower. When he’d seen she was a bit bruised and battered but no where near as bad as he’d been afraid of, he had been so relieved he hadn’t even stopped to think about the fact that she was in human form.

“Dude, there’s literally never going to be a funnier time to tell them.” She advised, grinning as she poured more skittles into her hand. “It’s not like it can get any worse.”

And well.

She wasn’t wrong.

With Justice League members shouting around him and gods shouting from within him, the calm, delighted amusement of his friend was the only touch stone Billy had.

A shout of Shazam and flash of lightning later and the yelling cut off all at once.

“Oh god, there’s two of them.”

-

“Where are you’re parents?” Superman asked with the bone deep horror of a father looking at two unsupervised teenagers caught doing something extremely dangerous.

Elle blinked at him. Shared a look with Billy. Shrugged.

“I never had any.”

“I did, but they’ve been dead for awhile now.”

Green Lantern pinched the bridge of his nose. Flash looked like he was sucking on a lemon. Superman turned and for some reason gave Batman a warning look.

"Don't."

"Hn."

[hdgnj]

Batman: Do you even have homes???

Ellie: Oh! We live in Phatom's lair!

Batman: Phantom knows?

Ellie: He's my template! If course he knows! Plus he's like 18 now? Nearly? That counts as a guardian right?

Billy: Jazz is 20! She definitely counts! She lives with us too! And Tucker and Sam!

Ellie: Val only stays sometimes.

Superman: The oldest person in your place is 20?!?

Billy: Hey! It's better than living in the streets like we were ok!

Ellie: Yeah! Phantom spent ages learning how to make portals so we could get to his lair and have a home!

Batman: And when was this?

Ellie: Uh, 6 months before I joined? Or there abouts?

Batman: Get Phantom here now!

Billy: Wait? Is Phantom in trouble now too?

Batman: Is he 18 yet?

Ellie: .... Not quite?

Batman: As much trouble as you two then!

[moodycow210]

Danny *to Elle and Billy*: you couldn’t have managed to keep this under wraps for idk another week?

[hdgnj]

Superman is in the corner doing breathing exercises. Wonder Woman is just gparing out of the window. Flash is switching wildly between feeding the children and berating them. Batman? Is glaring down at Phantom. Who just shrugs in a manner that says "and?" .

Batman: Why are you all living alone. Without any adults?

Phantom: Correction! We love in my lair. The Kings Keep! It has many many beings that are older than any being currently living in Earth! We have adults! Just not living human ones.

Batman: And why do you live there?

Phantom: Cause my parents hate ghosts? So me n Ellie can hardly live with them? Jazz is strongly liminal, so she can't live with them. And Billy was on the streets so we adopted him!

Superman: Why did none of you tell us??

Phantom: Why would we?

Flash: What do you mean Why would we?????? Why would you not?!?!?

Phantom:... Cause we didn't need help. So we didn't bother to ask for any? I'm confused. Why are you being weird? Is this a living thing?

Batman: You need a legal guardian!

Pahntom: Clockwork! He is time! He can do it! Good job done. Problem sorted! Can I take my siblings home now?

Wonder Woman: Clockwork? Please tell me he isn't my Grandfather?

Phantom: Ok! I won't tell you!

Ellie: Somehow.. They seem even more annoyed now?

Billy: Yeah... Big bro! Take us home while they are distracted by Clocky and his possibly Kronos reveal!

[eternal-watcher]

I love the idea that Danny is only about a week away from turning 18 and is now desperately (and futilely) trying to avoid Batman until then. Billy and Dani are no help, if they have to go through this then so does he!

[hdgnj]

He just keeps opening portals and yanking them back to the lair. If the are in a different realm! Batman can't follow them!

Batman? Is going to have words. Even if he has to wait until Phantom turns 18 to pin the half ghost down. Oh yes.

[lolottes]

the whole castle was finishing preparing for little you's birthday when the door opens on Batman

Danny: I'm 18 tomorrow! and tomorrow is in less than an hour!

[hdgnj]

Pandora is stood next to him with Billy and Ellie held in her arms. Danny of course goes aha!

Danny: This is Lady Pandora! She is one of our mentors! And guardians!

Pandora: Young Phantom speaks true. He has been my pupil since we met. And then he brought me two new students!

[gothfoxx]

I love the Batman has an adoption problem but given that Wonder Woman could potentially have familial claim via grandpa Clockwork I’d like to see Bruce and Diana working together to p̶a̶r̶e̶n̶t̶ catch these kids.

[hdgnj]

They can try. But not one of them will give in. Between all their ghost guardians, Jazz being 20, and Danny just 18? They have a whole bevy of adults! They don't need Batman! They are allowed to be ain't and uncle. But parents? Nope! Never again! Deal with it!

[hdgnj]

Batman: How are you paying for everything? Surely you need financial help!

Danny: Dude. I'm the Ghost King! I inherited Pariah's treasury. We just take out something worth lots and auction it off. We have plenty cash!

Billy: We make sure it's not magical or ghostly or cursed first!

Ellie: Yup! Pariah was always taking over dimensions and shit. Plus all the cultists. So we have a VERY full treasury. Plus cultists still give offerings.

Danny: I made it very very clear that sacrifices were no longer acceptable. So they resorted to money and expensive things.

[charlietheepicwriter7]

Cult Casper High schoolmates, but make it deaged Danny

Danny's entire class slowly figures out that Danny=Phantom but, with the exception of some outliers (Wes), they all agree to keep Danny's secret. One of the A-listers--Dash has definitely been hit by one of his parents before--brings up the idea of what could happen if Danny's parents find out and no one is there is cruel enough to put Danny through that.

Until one day, the Fentons shoot down Phantom and haul him back to their lab.

It only takes the class a few hours to mobilize, but in that time, Danny has already been vivisected like a frog and because of the damage, he retreats into his core, and comes out Ghost age, ei that's a toddler now.

That's their toddler now.

Obviously they have to escape Amity Park, because this is dcxdp and the GiW aren't happy about them "defending" a ghost, so they get the hell out of dodge. Gotham is the most obvious choice, Sam explains with a powerpoint, due to low cost of living, most careers not requiring ID and are willing to pay under the table, and high ectoplasm interference. To save money, they buy a run down building together and the whole class says under one roof.

Everyone likes baby Danny. Everyone wants to take care of him. Some of them are weird about it.

Or, the Bats investigate a new cult that popped up, only to find out that their object of worship is a toddler.

[land-of-frogs-and-dragons]

Okay I've thought about it and I'm gonna make some additions bc this post is living rent free in my head

Sam, armed with a PowerPoint, three red bull, and the latest fight with a ghost that isn't Danny, sitting all of their year down in the gym to run through their options.

At this point their high school year group is collectively covering for Danny - Dash with the bullying so that Danny has excuses for the bumps and bruises, Val and Tucker together with class notes (Tuck for sciences and math Val for English and History, I think Danny has enough of a grasp on the rest), Sam and Jazz together with attempting to wrangle a schedule so that Danny gets enough sleep, so on and so forth.

Wes isn't in this meeting for obvious reasons, the glass has been covered with paper to prevent peeping in, and someone managed to get a fairly easy ghost fight going so that Danny, the GIW, ECT are all distracted during the meeting. Tucker is out helping Danny, he's seen the slide deck so often he recites it in his sleep.

So Sam starts her slide deck, and gets some city options thrown her way. Metropolis, Central City, New York, New Orleans, others.

Notably, noone brings up Gotham, because if you're not going specifically for Wayne industries, Gotham university, or the psyc program, then why would you move in there?

Which is what Sam uses to get them on board with it. For over an hour, getting them ALL on board with IF they have to GTFO then they're going to Gotham As Fast As Possible. Routes are determined for the more determined folks who want to lay down false ecto trails (via vials of Danny's own ecto, carefully collected from various fights so that his parents and the GIW can't have any) VS who goes straight there to lay down a home base VS who tries to stay more legal and get higher paying jobs VS who is willing to get a little rough and tough and play within the grey zone of the law.

At the end, the collective agreement is that Gotham sucks ass but is the better option in pretty much every way, up to and including the fact that if the GIW came to the city that the bats would probably deal with it.

Sam, happy with the slides, leaves the meeting, meets up with the team, and goes on as if she had had a detention rather than bullying her whole year into supporting Danny behind the scenes. Thinking that really, they won't need to use The Plan.

Two months later, Danny gets got, child -ified, and Sam, Jazz, and Tucker have to co-parent the toddler version of their brother by blood and/or bond. Tucker pouting bc he wanted to be another cool uncle while also smug that he's one of the parents.

[raynewolferune]

The building they buy in Gotham is a small row of three conjoined older storefronts with apartments above them. They have plans to eventually take down the walls between the units to make them one large home for all the Amity Park fugitives to share but to start Phantom and his closest Fraid members take the middle unit while everyone else splits between the other two; girls to one side and boys to the other. The middle storefront is reserved for their daily group meetings for the time being & they all gather twice a day - at sunrise and sunset - to go over their plans and progress.

"Team A is making good progress gathering resources from the local criminals," Dash reports as leader of Team A-is-for-Awesome that is made up of most of the football players from their class. "Not in an employed way yet, not enough connections for that, but we're making off with things no one's noticed are missing yet."

Sam nods sitting on top on the old register counter while she cradles baby Danny, currently in Phantom form. Everyone had silently agreed to continue calling him Phantom in ghost form and Danny in human form for safety. "That probably won't work for much longer," she pointed out. "So start making efforts to integrate with the local community to find gainful employment. We don't want to attract the wrong kind of attention here." She instructed him and Dash nodded seriously in agreement before sitting back on the ground with his group. Paulina stood up next.

"Team B is has been making great progress in finding out more about the upper class citizens here," said the leader of Team B-is-for-Beautiful. "But we did find out there actually is a cult called the Court of Owls here like you asked us so that might be a problem." Paulina said flipping her hair at the end with a small huff. "And they are so lame. Using zombie assassins to do their dirty work; how out of style." She grumped.

Sam hummed thoughtfully with a nod as she adjusted her grip on the baby in her arms.

"We should be able to avoid a confrontation with them as long as they never meet our little king," she said using the affectionate nickname they had started adopting for him after Pariah's assault. "But we'll need to prepare contingencies in case we cannot."

Paulina sat down and Tiffany stood next.

"Team C has been making progress in gaining connections among the regular everyday civilians. Half of us have even acquired gainful employment already so we should have more funds to work with soon." She reported proudly. As team leader of Team C-is-for-Casual-Caution-and-Civilian, she had every right to be pleased especially since they were 2 weeks ahead of their originally projected schedule.

"You had no issues with identification?" Sam asked to be safe.

"None," Tiffany confirmed with a grin. Sam mirrored it back.

"Excellent."

Tiffany sat and Mikey stood next.

"Team D has made the necessary connections to begin securing the appropriate legal documentation we need now." The team lead of Team D-is-for-this-is-a-Disaster-or-we-are-Dungeon-Raiders said. "So we just need to finish deciding what names we want on everything and we can pull the trigger on that whenever."

"Good," Sam said with a smile. "Stick around after and I'll take you to our den mother for the finalized list." She joked slightly. Mikey grimaced slightly.

"How's she doing lately?" He asked, shifting unconsciously. Jazz had been running herself into the ground trying to take care of her now literal baby brother as well as the entire group of teens that had come with them to Gotham.

"Better now that she's getting more time to rest between rounds." Sam said, since Tucker, Valerie, and the rest that had hung back to obfuscate the first group's trails caught up to them in Gotham, the four of them had been able to switch to 6 hour Danny-monitoring shifts instead of 12 hour ones. "It's still draining though." She confessed, looking down at baby Phantom and petting his hair gently as she spoke.

"Well, if you guys need anymore sacrifices to share the load just let us know." Star joked to murmurs of agreement all around.

Across the street, hidden inside his renovated theater home Red Robbin watched and listened in on the cult that had been dumb enough to move in literally next door.

[spekulatiusmuffin]

Tim: Hah! What a stupid cult that moved in next door to one of the local privacy ignoring vigilantes. Also stupid of you to discuss your evil plans right next to the thin walls of my safehouse. Now i have access to information even Babara doesn't get

Also Tim: How come i know all of their plans but can never catch them in the act? Which one is the cult leader? Why can't the recorder pick up their voices when they clearly plan to take over the local food delivery industry. He doesn't know what they need that for yet. But its surely a nefarious thing. Maybe because then they get easy access to many homes.

Tims family thinks he's got a case if too much red bull on empty stomach and zero sleep. Now he's even started to put recoding devices all around his newest safehouse. And he's convinced that the neighbors are not only cultists but are actively messing with him by sneaking into his save house when he blinks and destroy the recordings. Which is why Tim is now sitting there on the flood staring with dry red eyes at the recorder. The recorder itself is secured with screws, motion sensors and duct tape. And this is how his brother who got shot and went to hide in the closest save house finds him.

[nobodyfamousposts]

So here’s a thought: the strangest reverse kidnapping the Waynes have ever experienced.

So Tim gets kidnapped. 

Makes sense. He is the CEO of Wayne industries. Of of the most notable Wayne children. His kidnapping is really no surprise. He gets kidnapped every other month.

But usually the kidnappers tie him up.

And take his phone.

And his laptop.

And lock the door.

And make it so he can’t just…y’know…leave.

And they especially don’t give him a very nice desk set up where he can continue his work unimpeded.

Bruce is confused.

Tim is confused and intrigued.

The kidnappers are by no means special. They aren’t any sort of costumed crook. They have no magic or powers. They are absolutely normal people.

Normal but smart people.

“Mr. Wayne, we have your son.”

“Which one?“

“The one who runs your business.“

“I see.”

“We want $10 million for his release.”

“I think you’ll find that Tim has already been subjected to multitude of kidnapping in the past. I am not concerned.”

“Oh, this one’s different.” The head kidnapper responded.

“It is different so far. I’m not tied to a chair and there’s no lock on the door. What’s to stop me from leaving?” Tim asks, bemused and gesturing to the aforementioned unlocked door with his again unbound hands.

“Because we have coffee.“ The kidnapper replies, gesturing to a rather fancy coffee setup with a freshly brewing French roast.

Tim immediately perks up.

“And for every hour that our demands are not met, we will give him a fresh pot of coffee with an increasing grade of caffeine.”

Ten seconds pass.

There is a “ding” from the kidnapper’s cellphone as the notification of the payment goes through.

The kidnappers blink.

“I’ll be honest. I didn’t expect that to work.”

Tim, who had taken advantage of this time to make himself a cup of coffee and already finished it, sets the empty cup down.

“I’ll double it to keep me.”

“Tim!”

[alien-slushie]

Joker: I brought you here because I crave the most dangerous game!

Danny, nodding: Knife Monopoly.

Joker: I was actually going to hunt you for sport, but now I want to know what Knife Monopoly is.

[spoopyyaoikingdom]

I too wish to know o.o

[mainnalle]

This will never not be hilarious 😂

[hdgnj]

Red Robin watching from the rafters waiting for the rest to be in position to attack:

"So, the hostage has managed to derail the murder plan. Downside is that he's teaching Joker knife monopoly."

Batman "Repeat please?"

Red Robin "You heard me B. Knife monopoly. Least the victim has enough smarts to stall for time."

((That is not the case, Joker just doesn't register as a threat the same way a ghost would to Danny. He can survive anything a human can do unless they have ecto weapons. Which Joker does not.))

[chaos-deimos-et-eris]

I kinda hate it when people go "heroes would not be shocked by Danny being cloned etc etc because they have had more wild things happen to them!" Because this is Danny Fenton saying this most of the time. If it was Danny Phantom, small town ghost hero with superpowers saying this then yeah I can see why u refuse to suspend disbelief. But like when its civilian nobody Danny Fenton, I get it. Like none of this bullshit is supposed to happen to him, and not often enough for the casualness he displays in these prompts.

Like if you learn Jim the zoo keeper got his ribs broken from a zebra kick it would be worrying, but hazards of the job. But if u learned joe the accountant, who's nearest zoo with zebras is an hour and a half drive away and has never stepped in one besides got four broken ribs and a punctured lung from a zebra kick u would be loosing u're mind too. And imagine he got mauled by a tiger too at a different incident and THATS why he's not in shock with the zebra thing. I would bubble wrap the man. I would start side eyeing the pigeons. I would never take joe on a hike.