The Rock Collector

| got rocks? no u don't. they're mine now. got cats? nope. I got your cats. | I'm just silly little loser and mostly harmless | | Music has eaten my soul and consumed my mind. if I'm not singing you should be worried | I'm a pianist/artist/aspiring bastard

[frontmansdefender]

[pinnipetal]

You need to start moisturizing before it's too late. I'm not talking about wrinkles or any of that nonsense. Winter is fucking coming you need to grease up or you are going to dry out like a raisin. It's too late for me but you can still save yourself. Please don't end up like me

[mistershoestied]

literally just the entire spaghetti mobster bit because i just want to have the full clip on my blog

[girldraki]

[crowliphale]

Best seat in the house

[youhavenoideahowmuchihatethis]

"Sam says follow me into the tunnel"

Game Changer participants proceed to walk straight into a wall with a black circle painted on.

Sam Reich sticking his head out of the tunnel painting "I'm afraid thats a point away from all of you"

[grayish-maybe]

Look at you with all your opinions. Aren't you just such a smart little boy. aren't you just so much better than everyone else. Aren't you so special with your big boy opinions. Do they give out special little prizes for being so judgmental?

[ozempicofficial]

[carebewear]

I do often think about how the origin of “he would not fucking say that” was in reference to a post which depicted Cartman SouthPark responding politely when asked for his pronouns

[schistcity]

meme phrases are so mobile and versatile and that's really really beautiful but i'm always thinking about the first "she x on my y til i z" being "she ebbin on my neezer til i scrooge" and the first "fork found in kitchen" coming from a tweet about sehun from exo being spotted at a gay bar. like sometimes you just utterly nail it the very first time and no variation of the joke is going to be better.

[schistcity]

EXACTLY.

[schistcity]

a small collection

[toddsolondz]

me: oh man the weather is so nice lately

that one friend who was beat to death and came back wrong: do you guys remember when i got beat to death and then they brought me back wrong

me: yeah dude

that one friend who was beat to death and came back wrong: and no one avenged me

me: yeah we remember

[beargirl2]

a beautiful woman named pinterest wont stop emailing me about guideline violations

[geyfrog]

Used to be Italian but now I’m just ian because she took it al in the divorce

[grayish-maybe]

Joybait, ragebait, bitch do you mean emotions?

[homunculus-argument]

The thing about people is that they will always choose the path of least resistance. Therefore it's imperative to never corner them into a situation where the easiest way out goes through your throat.

[homunculus-argument]

There's never a polite time, place, or way to say "ohh my fucking god you people never stop complaining about anything do you", but I think there should be.

[dsmsix]

[dsmsix]

[naamahdarling]

"In the same way that your heart feels and your mind thinks, you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. If you choose to care, then the universe cares. If you don't, then it doesn't." -- Brennan Lee Mulligan, D20, Fantasy High

[ozempicofficial]