Ssh! I'm a secret!

[green-witches-secret]

I'm kind of offended that two separate coworkers were genuinely concerned I was going to go bowling on my own for my birthday (we work in a bowling alley, I jokingly said I may come in to bug everyone). Like how dare they assume I don't have any irl friends outside of work?

I mean they're kind of right, I don't have any friends to celebrate in person with, but I'm still offended

[harunayuuka]

Ace: Yeah, yeah, I get it. You're smart. Quit rubbing it in my face.

MC:

Ace: ...

Deuce, Epel, and Jack: *wheezing*

[green-witches-secret]

I feel the need to say this because I feel that so many people now don't understand it:

Protagonist = main character

Protagonist ≠ hero

And in the same breath:

Antagonist = the person that wants the opposite of the protagonist

Antongist ≠ villain

.

The most excellent example of this I've ever seen is actually what taught me the difference back in grade school.

In the three little pigs, the three little pigs are the protagonists, and the big bad wolf is the antagonist. HOWEVER if the big bad wolf suddenly becomes the protagonist of the story, the three little pigs automatically become the antagonists. Not necessarily because they are evil, but because their wants/goals/motivations are opposite of the big bad wolf.

This could be seen by using a different example, such as Harry Potter (fuck JK Rowling but it's a well known example). If Voldemort became the main character, the PROTAGONIST, Harry Potter and crew automatically become the antogonists even if their motivations are for good. Because their motivations/goals/wants would be opposite of what the new protagonist, Voldemorts motivations/goals/wants are.

[green-witches-secret]

How does one explain to management that a newer coworker gives bad vibes?

Nothing concrete except a few things I've witnessed that are weird/concerning. But mostly just a weird bad vibe.

I don't want the guy to lose his job, but I like my job and I dread coming into work if I know I'll be sharing a shift with him because the vibes are that bad.

And a lot of my coworkers don't like him either!

[green-witches-secret]

Me, to my favorite tech at work as I clean: So..... have you met (new coworkers name)?

Him: I think so, yeah.

Me: Thoughts?

Him: Idk. Haven't really interacted with him much. Why? He not a favorite?

Me: No.

Him, taking a seat: Tell me, everything.

[themurderscene-deactivated20140]

and if you turn to ur left you’ll see the emos

[rnyselfie]

is that my chemical romance?

[penceyprepster-deactivated20160]

OH MY GOD not every group of emos is my chemical romance stfu tumblr

[chxmical-rxmance]

but it actually is my chemical romance

[losered]

this is the funniest fuckibg thing I’ve ever seen

[gay-emo-quotes]

I’ve…. seen this everywhere except on Tumblr itself. It’s the blessed post.

[green-witches-secret]

My manager, while playfully arguing with my coworker: *points at me* You're the favorite.

My coworker: Oh come on!

Me: 😏

My manager: She's the favorite.

.

Not even 10 minutes later

.

My coworker, over the radio: I've sold four.

My manager, over the radio: Yeah, well I bet Emily's at twelve by now.

My coworker, to me: Did he just call you Emily??

Me, who is not named Emily: Did he??

My coworker, over the radio: Emily??? EMILY??

Our manager, over the radio: I'm sorry, I meant (my name).

Me, over the radio: What happened to me being your favorite, huh???

.

Anyway my other manager wants to make me a name tag that says Emily to fuck with the manager that did this.

[green-witches-secret]

Guess my name is Emily now. My other manager made me the name tag and everything.

[green-witches-secret]

My new coworker: Would you be mad if I accidentally called you (common nickname for my name)? I just have a friend with the same name, and that's what I call her.

Me: *has been wearing a nametag that says Emily all shift, and has been letting my coworkers call me Emily with no complaint, my food was even rang in under the name Emily. But I am not named Emily. That is not my name.*

Me: No, I don't really care.

[green-witches-secret]

After almost 2 weeks my manager finally noticed that my name tag said Emily. He's letting me keep it because I prefer if guests don't know my actual name. So I guess I'm just Emily now

[green-witches-secret]

Gotta love it when my car decides I need to have a heart attack in the target parking lot T^T

[proship-froggo]

Fandoms have a serious problem with how creators are being treated these days.

Fandom creators spend hours of their free time to create something to make fandom thrive...for free and for the love of the game.

And what do they get? A wholeass heap of fuck all. No reblogs, no comments, no nothing. And people are surprised that creators are dropping out left, right, and centre??

"Why is there no long fic anymore?" "Why did my favourite writer stop?" "Why is my favourite artist not posting anymore?"

I implore you to ask yourself: "What's the last thing I did to support my fandom? Does my favourite creator know they are my favourite? When was the last time I left a comment under something?"

[ribbonnpurple]

DON'T WANT AI TO TAKE OVER? YOUR INTERACTION MATTERS!

[experiment41]

we are NOT bringing 4chan incel terminology to this site, take that "foid" out of your post and go wash your blog out with soap

[cognitohazardous]

the memeification of fascism is a proven method of perpetuating and instilling it in other people. Layers of irony will not protect you once you adopt racist, sexist, ableist, transphobic terminology into your lexicon. you'll be acknowledging and nursing the mindsets and connotations borne of those words.

[green-witches-secret]

My manager, while playfully arguing with my coworker: *points at me* You're the favorite.

My coworker: Oh come on!

Me: 😏

My manager: She's the favorite.

.

Not even 10 minutes later

.

My coworker, over the radio: I've sold four.

My manager, over the radio: Yeah, well I bet Emily's at twelve by now.

My coworker, to me: Did he just call you Emily??

Me, who is not named Emily: Did he??

My coworker, over the radio: Emily??? EMILY??

Our manager, over the radio: I'm sorry, I meant (my name).

Me, over the radio: What happened to me being your favorite, huh???

.

Anyway my other manager wants to make me a name tag that says Emily to fuck with the manager that did this.

[green-witches-secret]

Guess my name is Emily now. My other manager made me the name tag and everything.

[green-witches-secret]

My new coworker: Would you be mad if I accidentally called you (common nickname for my name)? I just have a friend with the same name, and that's what I call her.

Me: *has been wearing a nametag that says Emily all shift, and has been letting my coworkers call me Emily with no complaint, my food was even rang in under the name Emily. But I am not named Emily. That is not my name.*

Me: No, I don't really care.

[green-witches-secret]

My manager, while playfully arguing with my coworker: *points at me* You're the favorite.

My coworker: Oh come on!

Me: 😏

My manager: She's the favorite.

.

Not even 10 minutes later

.

My coworker, over the radio: I've sold four.

My manager, over the radio: Yeah, well I bet Emily's at twelve by now.

My coworker, to me: Did he just call you Emily??

Me, who is not named Emily: Did he??

My coworker, over the radio: Emily??? EMILY??

Our manager, over the radio: I'm sorry, I meant (my name).

Me, over the radio: What happened to me being your favorite, huh???

.

Anyway my other manager wants to make me a name tag that says Emily to fuck with the manager that did this.

[green-witches-secret]

Guess my name is Emily now. My other manager made me the name tag and everything.

[green-witches-secret]

My manager, while playfully arguing with my coworker: *points at me* You're the favorite.

My coworker: Oh come on!

Me: 😏

My manager: She's the favorite.

.

Not even 10 minutes later

.

My coworker, over the radio: I've sold four.

My manager, over the radio: Yeah, well I bet Emily's at twelve by now.

My coworker, to me: Did he just call you Emily??

Me, who is not named Emily: Did he??

My coworker, over the radio: Emily??? EMILY??

Our manager, over the radio: I'm sorry, I meant (my name).

Me, over the radio: What happened to me being your favorite, huh???

.

Anyway my other manager wants to make me a name tag that says Emily to fuck with the manager that did this.

[cherryhatter-deactivated2015072]

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

[visibun]

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

[drtanner]

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

[green-witches-secret]

A story of me while high on anesthesia post surgery, as told by my mother because I do not remember this:

.

The doctor: We did notice and remove some bone fragments from her nose, it looks like it was broken at one point. Was there ever some sort of impact that may have caused that?

My mom: No, I don't think so. I can't think of anything.

Me, high on anesthesia, but absolutely ZERO hesitation: Waterslide.

Her: What?

Me: Waterslide.

Her: Oh, yeah! That's probably it! The waterslide.

My doctor, who has no context, and I doubt was ever provided any: ... Alright then. Waterslide.

[green-witches-secret]

My doctor, who is a redhead: Are we worried about bleeding a lot? I know we redheads tend to bleed more.

Me, who is not a redhead:.... Not really concerned about the bleeding.

Me, internally: your eyesight is another story.

.

My coworker after telling her that story: That's wild. It's so obvious that you're not a redhead

Me: I know right, I could not be more obviously brunette.

Her: Brunette?? Girl you're blond.

Me:.... No? I am not?

.

My other coworker after I told them both what the doctor said and what our other coworker said about me being blond: You're like a really dirty blond.

Me:

[green-witches-secret]

My dad, randomly, holding an ice cream scoop: This would be quite the torturous weapon to be murdered with.

Me: That is an inside thought.