green bella

30yo fairy of the forest with a dog

[greenbellala]

1 June 2026

Mixed vegetables with skyr = 450 + / 2201 - (walking)

My minus calories are always so high because — according to my fitness watch — my Resting Metabolic Rate (RMR) is about 1700 calories, my active calories (walking, swimming etc.) are added on top, and I'm making about 10.000-20.000 steps each day (= 400 - 800 active calories ON TOP each day).

Just for fun I tried other RMR calculators, and most of them give me a little lower rate around 1600 c. but my watch measures every movement and my heart rate constantly so maybe it's more accurate?

Side note: RMR is not BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate). Your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) refers to the minimum number of calories your body needs to function at a basic level. This includes maintaining all your cells and essential bodily functions, like breathing, blood circulation and body temperature. The RMR includes minimal movements, e.g. sitting in a chair. Your RMR and BMR get higher/lower the more/less you weigh.

My BMR is about 1400 calories. Usually I would use this as base for all my calculations..

[greenbellala]

Felt like crying for the whole day, which made me feel very uncomfortable at work. Got a pedicure afterwards. Now I'm finally home again and reunited with my dog. I'm looking forward to having a cozy evening at home. My right hand/arm hurts so I'm wearing a brace. Yesterday was such a fun day, maybe my dopamine and / or serotonin stores are empty and now I have to feel like shit again, and again, and again. The endless loop.

[greenbellala]

I start to hate everything about my current job except the salary and my (financial) freedom, which is a big thing, I know, but it's so hard to do something you hate and to see and talk to faces you absolutely don't like every week, again and again 😒🙄😮‍💨 but I don't know what I should do for a living instead.

[greenbellala]

2 June 2026

iced coffee with cream (350), Malaysian buffet (1500), alcohol (500) = 2350 + / 2281 -

[greenbellala]

1 June 2026

It's my birthday month again. Shit. Time passes so fast. Call me crazy but last night I listened to a weight loss sleep hypnosis and today I haven't felt hungry yet. Please let me be up to something here 🙏🏽 I want to manipulate my mind so badly. Also it feels like that crazy beast called depression crawls back into my soul.

What I ate yesterday: veggie spring rolls (484), instant ramen soup (290), 2 tomatoes (50), muesli (400), small choc cookie desert (250) = 1424 + / 2267 - (walking).

[greenbellala]

Yesterday ended up being an OMAD day for me. Potato pockets (1090) + alcohol. I met my friends at a restaurant (just drinks for me) and afterwards we went to another friend's birthday party (smoking + drinking). The birthday boy turned out to be a real good freestyle rapper and somehow we ended up making out on the couch right next to my other friends. oops. It was good tho. Now I see him in a whole new light. ✨ It wasn't really making out in the classic sense. I didn't want to kiss him, even though he tried, but we spent moments of touching and caressing each other: head massages, gentle strokes, lingering touches on breasts and legs. Slow, intense, and surprisingly intimate.

[greenbellala]

I bought new sunglasses, two leather bags (outlet sale), one new pair of shoes, and new jewelry. Now I'm ready for summer and ready to toss out some old stuff.

[greenbellala]

A fresh new day, a fresh new calorie contingent.

Yesterday: coffee (0), cucumber salad (150), muesli with yogurt, milk, oats, nuts (600), potato pockets with spinach filling (1080) = 1830 c + alcohol 💀 / 2900 c -

The day before yesterday: coffee (0), juice (300), bites of fingerfood at my boss's office birthday party (450), pasta salad (800), 1 piece of cake (450) = 2000 c + 💀 / 2190 c -

Today (planned): coffee (0), potato pockets filled with sour cream (1090), something sweet maybe, alcohol

I got so bad at restricting 😭 I'm always hungry although I'm eating more than enough and alcohol contains so many calories 😭😭😭

[greenbellala]

+ swimming in the river, just a normal Friday in summer

[mindflamer]

there is still time. there is still time. until your bones are in the fucking ground there is still time.

[greenbellala]

27 May 2026

black coffee (0), overnight oats with fruit and chia seeds (400), sparkling wine (200), cauliflower soup with cream (800) ≈ 1400 c

[greenbellala]

back at counting & cutting calories. It's the only possible way for me (sadly I can't be naturally thin 😭)

[greenbellala]

skinny dipping in a local lake and visualizing to be actually skinny, not just nude 🌊☀️

[greenbellala]

I watched a depressing German crime fiction movie. Now I feel down and remember why I usually don't watch crime fiction movies. Or the news.

[greenbellala]

I have to work again 😮‍💨

and I am so hungry! How to reduce my appetite? I used to smoke for that reason, and I'm still drinking gallons of black coffee everyday, yet my hunger is insane.

[greenbellala]

currently watching this movie (fell asleep last night at my first attempt). I think it's good so far.

[greenbellala]

two different outfits I liked from the show "shopping queen" 👑 motto: tone in tone