Procristination

My name's Cristina. I'm 33 and I can't believe I'm still here. I will come back at least once a year to update my age, if nothing else. Tumblr made me gay. Twitter YouTube Ask me stuff About me Awkward George

[justgirlythings]

We finally did it, y’all! We’re married 💍

[muppethole-deactivated20240312]

"capitalism breeds innovation" was only ever true in the mid-2000s when cell phones kept getting more and more fucked up

[muppethole-deactivated20240312]

^ healthy and diverse breeding practices

^ wild inbreeding in pursuit of uniformity and an arbitrary ideal of breed "purity" resulting in gross health complications

[timeloopfemme]

got my november trends mixed up so i accidentally nutted 50k times and didn't write a single word

[batshit-auspol]

A news report from Australia's government broadcaster in the 70s, found in their archives simply labeled 'lesbians'

Captions added by for your reading pleasure

[batshit-auspol]

Remind us to make this into a bumper sticker in the morning

[batshit-auspol]

Here's to those

[redlipstickresurrected]

Matsumoto Hoji aka 松本奉時 aka Hoji Matsumoto (Japanese, Unknown-1800, based Osaka, Japan) - Paintings: Ink on Paper

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

same energy

[andhumanslovedstories]

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

[andhumanslovedstories]

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2022, commenting on this post from 2016. There’s been a lot of people on this site lately being like “oooh no don’t make viral uwu I’m so pathetic, little, and defenseless and my poor notifications can’t handle 10k reblogs” well first of all ALL of us are pathetic, little, and defenseless and secondly none of our notifications can handle 10k reblogs and thirdly I’m not a coward and I think this should have a million notes. Not because of its own merit as a post, I just think it’d be funny if when I turn 30 this year and I reflect on the greatest accomplishments of my life thus far, I have to at least consider putting “famous tumblr popcorn post” on the list

[andhumanslovedstories]

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2023, in May specifically, I’m 30 and for the record it rules, I had a lil aging crisis and now I’m past that and I’m just like goddamn it is great being in my thirties and I had a wonderful birthday NO THANKS TO YOU GUYS

actually, much thanks to you guys. Some of you were inspiringly crazy about this post. Frankly you worked harder for this than I did, and your efforts were touching and inspiring and funny and yet we STILL FAILED. GUYS WE GOTTA PUT OUR EYES BACK ON THE BALL. We have ehhh about six months before I turn the big three-one, which is actually the most important birthday because now you’re in your thirties For Real, and I personally can’t think of a better way to ring in my 31st year of life than by trying and failing to do something that I was hoping to knock out in my twenties.

[zingring]

Good luck, kiddo

[sasquatch-spotted]

Are you satisfied, op? When will it be enough?

[andhumanslovedstories]

I feel I couldn’t have been clearer about the number at which this will be enough

[andhumanslovedstories]

You guys I had this whole fucking bit planned. I was gonna pathetically beg for notes for months. It was gonna be a whole progressively building thing. But you guys were, and I say this with complete affection, so fucking annoying to me personally and to everyone who follows you. Again, I really phoned this in. Some of you guys were just like “what if I replied every letter of the alphabet one at a time and then did it again.” And then reblogged it 30 times. That’s so much work to make some numbers go up and again so annoying to so many people. You all should be proud. I did literally ask for this. Your weird level of work made me feel connected to a sea of strangers who wanted me to succeed but also, and again I say this with affection and love, annoyed me deeply along the way.

[simpsonsface]

[lalalychee]

Due to the Unfortunate!

We are deeply out of Onions!

[pastel-goth-milf]

[geniusoflove]

thinking about how much work i could get done if i would do it

[boccher]

girls

[itznarcotic]

ⓘ Fact check: girls

[yamada-ryo]

ⓘ Tip: girls

[nonging]

ⓘ Log Book: girls

[pettannako-deactivated20230622]

ⓘ New Objective: girls

[proghosterone]

⚠ Severe Corrosion Hazard: girls

[flareonfloof]

☢ Core Detonation Risk: girls

[sexhaver]

that Brian Eno quote about how whatever you find most repulsive about a medium (film grain, record scratches/fuzz, CDs skipping) will be the first thing you try and emulate once that medium is obsolete because it's "the sign of a moment too powerful for the medium assigned to contain it".... man.......

[funkylilpunk]

“Whatever you now find weird, ugly, uncomfortable and nasty about a new medium will surely become its signature. CD distortion, the jitteriness of digital video, the crap sound of 8-bit - all of these will be cherished and emulated as soon as they can be avoided. It’s the sound of failure: so much modern art is the sound of things going out of control, of a medium pushing to its limits and breaking apart. The distorted guitar sound is the sound of something too loud for the medium supposed to carry it. The blues singer with the cracked voice is the sound of an emotional cry too powerful for the throat that releases it. The excitement of grainy film, of bleached-out black and white, is the excitement of witnessing events too momentous for the medium assigned to record them.” -Brian Eno

[moirainessuspenders]

Ms. Rosamund “I have three late-night hours to kill so I’m going to brute force my way into a pineapple” Pike

ha hee hee HEEE! wowza.

[sashaforthewin]

I was indifferent to her before, but watching her decide to spend the three hours leading up to an interview clawing open a pineapple with her bare hands, I am now strongly in favor of her

[a-real-horse]

[memorycycle]

adhd tip you can replace a “meal” with up to 3 hours of “the app” but watch out

[slimegirlwarlock]

okay done 👍 why am i hurts

[gertritude-art]

nightly spiral

[sigynpenniman]

this is my favorite fuckin comic ever I have never seen something capture the experience so well

[trumpetsbyjasonderulo]

it’s been ten years and i can confirm that everything still happens so much. happy anniversary king