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The thing is: if your predominantly trans space makes a cis guy uncomfortable, that guy is probably not a good fit for the space. Like, cis guys who complain about egg jokes are, in my experience moderating such spaces, also extremely likely to start talking about misandry being a real problem and how feminists need to quiet down.
At the same time, I don't particularly think "taking action for the purposes of making someone uncomfortable" is good for a space, either. I think it's very easy for a space to produce a culture that makes existing users comfortable at the cost of making the space more hostile for new users.
But, uh, egg jokes are a part of transfem social reproduction. Venting about how men suck is part of being a woman (in fact, venting about how your oppressors suck is part of being part of any marginalized group). And, as a marginalized group, being loud is part of feeling safe.
I think "this is bad because it makes cis men uncomfortable" discourse is disguising one thing as another. Producing a reasonable sounding justification that preys on the listener's unfamiliarity with the problem (and, in fact, their tendency to center the experiences of cis men).
An important thing to understand in order to understand intersectionality is that "cis man" is not the 'average person'. In general, the experiences of the least marginalized are not a "canary in the coal mine" that must be looked to first. In fact, our movement must be built upon the experiences of the multiply-marginalized, not those closest to the top.
the transmisogyny in intersex activism on tumblr is so bad that the first few correlated "similar" tags to "#intersexism" are "#anti tmetma" and "#transmisandry":
“You know that’s medical malpractice right, no doctor is actually doing that.”
Bold of you to assume doctors actually care about what’s malpractice or not when it comes to treating disabled and intersex people
The state of intersex "activism" on here is fucking dire. Intersex TMEs have arguably the biggest victim complexes out of any TMEs on here and it's nauseating. Every single thing a trans woman does pisses them off in some way. Seriously, I dare you to go in the intersexism tag and find one post that isn't directly or indirectly whining about trans women. It takes longer than it would in even the transandrophobia tag and I can really only describe that as unfathomably embarrassing if not outright harmful to actual intersex activism. I've never met a group with so much unfounded contempt towards people that they claim to be allies with. But if you call any of this out they'll call you intersexist and a sex predator. Don't worry though, they'll call you an intersexist sex predator anyways so you might as well call them out on their bullshit.
Transfems are not allowed to use (C)AGAB terminology according to them. Despite transfems having been the ones to coin it and intersex people later adopting it. But don't worry perisex people are allowed to use it to identify as "afab transfems" and if you challenge this you're a TERF (ignore all the actual TERFs calling themselves "afab transwomen" thats not important). Only if you're an actual transfem is it a problem.
We're not allowed to use "TME/TMA" because it "forces" these poor wittle intersex people into a binawy, or asks them about their genitals, or "everyone is transmisogyny affected because I'm a cis woman with stubble," or whatever the fuck reasons they're inventing to try and act like they transcend an axis of privilege. Again, ignore them calling themselves "afab transfems" of their own volition, binaries for me but not for thee. I only support binaries when they're used to call trans women male.
We're not allowed to use "baeddel" because that's "intersex only" (ignore baeddel being used/defined for the exact same purpose as faggot). Mind you the usage of baeddel in history is still heavily debated and there are barely any documented uses so we don't actually fucking know any of this for sure. The only fucking reason these people want baeddel to themselves is for the same reason that white queers want to invent a bunch of slurs to reclaim. "Hermaphrodite" just wasn't enough I guess.
We're not allowed to use Shinigami Eyes because it "falsely marks intersex people as red for intersex activism." Whatever you do, do not search up "afab transfem," "transandrophobia," "transradfem," "TRF," "male socialization," etc. on any of the blogs that claim to be falsely marked red. Do not look for the obvious signs of bioessentialism and half-baked TWERF rhetoric. You have to take this at face value.
So since intersex TMEs put so much emphasis on the historical value of words (disregarding them literally just making shit up half the time), do you think they want "bisexual," a word with an actual history of being used to refer to intersex people, back? Nope. Not a fucking peep from any of them. I wonder why they'd target all the language transfems use but never the language other queer people use.
Ignore the fact that real actual intersex transfems exist. They're not real- unless she's gonna be a mouthpiece for TMEs in which case yes she is real and she's the only transfem who you need to listen to. Ignore the fact that so many intersex transfems (including myself) are scared to even mention being intersex because we don't want to be associated with these assholes that constantly spit on and kick dirt over our existence.
I don't know how to describe their deep and rotten insecurities other than being made that they're not trannies. They'll never be us and it makes them claw at their own foreheads, I'd almost feel bad about their insecurity if they weren't so hellbent on hating us because of it. Instead of making their own identities, cultivating their own language and terminology, or doing actual intersex education instead of stringing words together and hoping it lands a hit with tumblr.com, or literally anything fucking else that would actually be even remotely productive for intersex activism? They decide to just blame and harass transfems (including intersex ones) for all their problems, co-opt their language, and then claim that it was always intersex exclusive- and if they can't find a way to do that they'll claim it's harmful to intersex people.
The worst part is that intersexism is a legitimate issue that need to be talked about more. I'd love to talk more about the medical abuse of intersex people (especially infants and children), or the harmful sex binary, or the sheer lack of intersex resources, or the stigmas and stereotypes surrounding intersex people, or overall intersex erasure. I think it's awful that the state of intersex activism, especially online, has just become about trying to undermine and hurt transfems (while also covering up actual intersex activism in hateful anti-feminist TERF drivel). I'd love if every big blog that focuses on intersex issues/education (minus like two) wasn't such a massive transmisogynist. I'd love if we could talk about actual intersex issues for once.
when a pet figures out to turn up the cuteness when they get in trouble is about the time youre truly screwed as a pet owner
"what if the very in trouble baby gets 1 million pets instead"
i think its awesome idea
a lotta tmes treat the term "tme" the same way really annoying transphobes treat the word "cis"
The thing about people discouraging transition is that it's all of these incremental little "compromises" inching you back closer to cisheteronormative gender roles. And it's vital you don't try to bargain with them because they will never be satisfied until you're completely cis gender conforming. It's a trap kill them
"Don't medically transition" turns into "why can't you just be a gnc cis person" turns into "why can't you just present normaler" do not give the cis an inch
and so often its framed as flipped around positivity/self help/advice like "you dont Have To medically transition", "being cis and gnc is valid", "learn to accept yourself as you are"
pog item at a cringe location p,og item at a cringe location blegh item at a based check, it happens. it happens pog itdm.
at a ceinged location
escargot Porsche? no escar don't do that. escargot slow!
porsche item at a slow location
awesome item at a bummer location
awawa item at a bweh location
friend item at a gaster location
smash item in a pass location
niceys item at a meaners location
irish-american-chan item at a pjackk location