I'll bring hydrangeas to your funeral

My name's Oxalis, and I know a lot of useless information. 26 || posting my age so I don't get blocked by smut fic accounts

[blackjame]

[amazoogle]

i set my name to Paul Enis in the app because then the stickers they put on my grocery deliveries would say P. ENIS. it was like this for months, but now all the sudden they say PAUL E. instead

i can't have that. i won't let that happen. what they could have never predicted is that a beautiful woman named Peni Sausage is about to log on

[deadandwalking]

hey kitten. daddy needs to talk to you. your kink blog is great, but you are not highlighting the words correctly. kitten. stop highlighting. this is shit. did you seriously highlight that period. kitten.

[pmamtraveller]

The Spectral Titans, by Anthony Machuca

[etiennelux]

reading a negative review of something you love written by a person who very clearly didn’t understand it at all

[t-valentines]

reading a positive review of something you love written by a person who very clearly didn’t understand it at all

[jabberwockypie]

Reading a negative review of something you hate by someone who very clearly didn't understand it at all and hates it for the wrong reasons

[rainyydoves]

i beat myself up for not knowing enough about my special interests a lot but then i remember the average person off the street has no idea what the carboniferous is and i feel better

[rainyydoves]

are you really bad at it or are you in "good at it" spaces

[bigbigtruck]

"are you really bad at it or are you in 'good at it' spaces" has derailed so much self-hate since I read it

this is a load bearing sentence in my psyche and I can't believe it's only 2 months old

[amazoogle]

it's Tuesday all day today and there's no known way to prevent this

[softichill]

I think abt this tiktok all the time

[thesadcyborg9million]

Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying

[viralfrog]

[hadesisqueer]

Two World Cup finalists from opposing teams in this fucking picture, this sport isn't real

[hadesisqueer]

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

[joyflameball]

[strawbebbynya]

[magimagali]

c’mon everybody!!! *runs off excitedly and no one follows me*

[cerastes]

Fuuuck I just loss 20000 dollars in adverisement revenue and potential sales when that guy over there didn’t look at my flyer because he was talking to the girl he was walking with. The sensible option here is to ban talking while walking since it’s literally theft.

[krizaland]

[bigphart69]

[xefyre]

oh fuck yum

[wolg-fang]

Every post in 2014 was like this

[cpericardium]

hey everyone "I" have something to show "you"

[cpericardium]

[cpericardium]

[ravioliet]

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

[ravioliet]

to everyone in the notes saying this is mean or rude or a callout, this post was autobiographical. we're in this together. take my paw

[asksloyxp]

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

[shinyrock6498]

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

[asksloyxp]

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???