2023: the year I became a faggot

i'm QUEER. say it like you mean it. maybe a freshly minted dyke

[closet-keys]

it's sad to me that cis people never apply their "loved one with a wanted-pregnancy" script to medical transition. like cis people often indicate they don't know how to react to hearing about medical transition, but a huge portion of that social script is directly applicable.

tell someone "congratulations!" tell them "I'm so happy for you. I know you've been trying for a really long time." ask them "do you need help with anything?" throw them a party with loved ones where you all give them some gifts in acknowledgement of how expensive it is. celebrate how far along they are. take photos with them so they have a record of being loved while their body changes. allow them to voice fears and doubts and anxieties about how it'll go, and reassure them that they'll get through the intense medical procedure coming up & you'll be there for support no matter what. let them tell you about the gross parts and laugh together. really listen to them when they talk about how amazing and profound it is that the human body can do this. share in their excitement for beginning a new stage of their life.

If there are complications, comfort them and help them navigate what's next. If they lose access suddenly due to finances or criminalization, treat it like a miscarriage and hold them while they grieve.

[n0cnimura]

[falinbait]

ID: sharpie on a red painted wall "no woman is free until trans women are free"

[rodeoradio]

-Leslie Feinberg, from Trans Liberation Beyond Pink Or Blue

[aromantic-goldfishdeactivated202]

genuinely I cannot fathom trying to use Tumblr like any other social media. I just thought to myself “why does Tumblr even have a ‘Best Posts First’ feature? why would I want to see good posts?” and then I had to stop and consider that for a second

[galactic-mayhem]

saw this on pinterest but i think it belongs here too

[vinnie-vindictive]

this will never not be important

[radicalgraff]

"Capitalism is temporary. Dykes are forever"

Seen in NYC

[luxiomahariel]

we as a community need to start considering the act of speculating on a persons agab as an act of transphobia

[luxiomahariel]

if i see another queer housing listing with "afab only" requirements im going to be on the fucking news.

[luxiomahariel]

your androphobia is not more important than my safety, comfort, and privacy as a trans / nonbinary / intersex person. if youre afraid of my gender identity then thats a YOU problem that you need to be working on resolving. it should not be my fucking problem to deal with and i should not be made to feel excluded from fucking QUEER housing. it is absolutely fucking transphobic, exorsexist, and intersexist what queer housing is like right now.

[luxiomahariel]

you are not my fucking doctor. you do not need to know what genitals i was fucking born with. you are not going to be looking at my genitals. you do not need to know where i am at in my transition. stop being fucking transphobic.

[pingintech]

THIS absolutely!!! afab housing is not only transmisogyny but also clearly plainly transphobia flat out its something that trans men are not likely to be comfortable with either ans its weird to act as if they benefit from that also people need to stop acting as if trans self identifiers equate with agab by necessity same situation you dont need to know that acting as if identifying as trans one way or the other is revealing your agab is intersexist exorsexist and transphobic

queer as in fuck you, actually

[objectophiliac-but-evil]

having another dyke call you a dyke is like hearing a chorus of angels sing your name. it’s pure joy wrapped up in one word. you see me and i see you. there is nothing like the community and connection you can have with another dyke.

on the other hand, someone who isn’t a dyke calling me a dyke should be punishable by death.

[tlirsgender]

The thing about whatever hrt effects you think are "undesirable" is that not only are you voicing disgust about other trans people's bodies but also intersex people who naturally produce the same hormones will have the same traits you think are yucky. And they didn't get a choice about it. So maybe cope with T giving you a dick or shut the fuck up or something... consider why you're more okay with #boy pussy than ambiguous genitals

[tlirsgender]

Sorry but I don't have any patience left for the "but what if I get on T and straight men don't think I'm hot anymore? 🥺" crowd like Okay. Well you're a man, right? Get some self respect. And stop saying nasty shit about other people who aren't or maybe never were Cishet Desirable. Cause that's what you're doing bitch other people already look like what you're so fucking scared of being

[tlirsgender]

Before anybody else makes this post about men's feelings instead of the point that actively body shaming trans and intersex people is shithead behavior just know that I don't give a single flying fuck, okay? If you can pass for a conventionally attractive cisperisex woman and want to keep it that way for whatever reasons, you can just choose not to go on testosterone. While some people just look like that because of how we were born. And by talking about how disgusting you think those traits are you're being a fucking asshole

[selfmadeheathcliff]

It’s so strange to me when people try to portray butch4femme as a heteronormative dynamic.

Do they not know a butch will cook her femme a three course meal because butches are caretakers?

A femme will stand in front of her butch at the bar, acrylics bared like a lynx, ready to cut the throat of anyone who criticises her partner’s masculinity or questions their right to space.

A butch will spend quiet nights hunched over a laptop learning how to sew and then hunched over her femme’s favourite dress, fixing it as she sleeps?

A femme will take charge and tell her butch to lie down, go and have that shower, go and get that errand done, because she knows what her baby needs?

There is nothing heteronormative about butches and femmes seeing and validating each other in a way the world refuses to. There’s nothing wrong with butches and femmes slow dancing in the speakeasy they’ve created on the kitchen tiles, the only place that’s ever been created for people like them.

[loverboyheartthrob]

I love you femmes with non-standard pronouns... I love you they/them femmes... I love you he/him femmes... I love you femmes who mix and match pronouns... I love you femmes who accept any and all pronouns... I love you it/its femmes... I love you femmes with neopronouns... I love you femmes...

[maimndevour]

[transandrogyny--turtlebug]

"women can wear pants now. they can dress masc and it's fine"

body hair is seen as disgusting and wrong and sick and "too masc" on a woman still. Did we just forget that? not wearing makeup as a woman can prevent you from getting hired. this is absolutely ridiculous

[transandrogyny--turtlebug]

I didn't think that you'd have to calmly explain to other trans people that regular misogyny still exists and is a serious problem

[eva-does-their-best-deactivated]

My ex was forced to depilate by her mother, and the people at the beauty place who did the wax depilation were apparently mad at me for not caring about whether or not she had body hair.

It very much is still a problem.

[vaspider]

In 2013, before I came out, before I was on T, when I had only the kind of hair on my face that gamer bros complain about re: girl characters, I had a (young) woman at the nail salon point at my face and tell me I needed to wax my whole face, or at least my upper lip and chin.

She didn't work there. She just felt like randomly telling another (presumed) woman that the completely transparent, shortest physically possible hair on my cheeks was Too Much.

I got more than one Official Talking To at Wachovia/Wells Fargo bc my suits were too masculine in cut, my haircut was too masculine (and had i considered getting highlights?), and I didn't wear, or didn't wear enough, makeup. These were all framed as Coaching, as an attempt to help me present myself in a way that would help me to advance my career (and as someone gently telling me that these things were currently very much in the way of my career).

So... yeah.

[robotheory]

I'm so sorry if this is derailing, but can I also just point out how annoying the whole "women can wear pants! it's acceptable for them to dress masc!" notion is too?

Women are allowed to wear women's pants. They not "allowed to dress masc". Women can wear suits only if they're suits for women. Women can wear pants only if they're pants for women. If a woman wears a baggy flannel it must be over a low cut tank top or tied around her waist or only be on a very feminine woman. Women are still passed over for jobs for not wearing makeup, or their jobs come into jeopardy for not wearing makeup or simply existing as they are, and also if their hair is short and unfeminine.

Ask any woman who is actually masculine just how much she is allowed to be masculine or go about her life without scrutiny and I imagine most of them will tell you the idea that "women are allowed to be masc" is an utter joke.

[spacelazarwolf]

1000000% yes to this addition. i wore pants all the time before i transitioned, i dressed “masc” i even occasionally wore an item or two of clothing from the men’s department. but there was a complete and utter 180 in the way ppl treated me when i went from “masc” clothes to men’s clothes. i was not a cute tomboy anymore. i was a dyke, tranny, woman stepping out of my place, and a lot of ppl tried to punish me for it.

[cigarettesmokeandroses]

Adding on a bit. I frequently get away with dressing masc. I rarely, practically never, wore makeup when I worked at Wells Fargo. And I never had any "coaching" about it.

Why? I look very much like a feminine woman. I look traditionally attractive in a feminine way. That's the only reason. Because I have to put a lot of effort into not looking like a woman, I'm excused. I'm "quirky."

That's not a good thing. People are largely only ok with it from me because they aren't threatened. But any time my behavior doesn't fit with their expectations, that's when my appearance is attacked. Any perceived aggression, and now I "look like a boy."

Women are allowed to pretend. We can wear pants and pretend to have authority or a say in things. As long as we aren't a threat.

[butchfagminotaur]

i’m so fucking sick of people taking aspects of historical gay sexuality and saying “but what if i made it squeaky clean and sexless so i can have it” sometimes not everything is for you babes!!! sometimes you don’t get to have everything!!!

[butchfagminotaur]

“what’s the hanky for ppl who don’t wanna have sex or do kink or any of that” there isn’t one!!! it’s called not wearing a fucking hanky!!! because it’s not fucking for you!!!!!

[butchfagminotaur]

capitalism and individualism has rotted people’s brains to the point that it feels like a lot of people don’t understand that some things just aren’t fucking for them and they don’t need to twist and change it to force it to apply to them!!! sometimes things are not!!! for!!! you!!!

[butchfagminotaur]

where are the glory holes for people who just wanna give thumbs up through them???

[tboy-cock]

trans people who are anti t4t make me so sad. because beyond just not knowing what being t4t means, the fact that they believe that t4t is just being a chaser is indicative of a deeper issue, being that cis people have ingrained the idea that we are unfuckable and unloveable, disgusting by nature, and that anybody who would voice attraction to us, a step further, ONLY CHOOSE TO DATE TRANS PEOPLE, would be a pervert with a disgusting fetish who wont see them as equal.

thats not what t4t is.

t4t is the rejection of the idea that we are inherently disgusting, just because we are in the eyes of a cisnormative society.

t4t is the understanding that we are safer and stronger together as a community than apart.

t4t is seeing your trans boyfriend try on clothes from your old boy wardrobe that you hated growing up but now your least favorite shirt is your favorite because its the perfect shade of red that brings out his eyes.

t4t is teaching your trans girlfriend that has been scared to do her own makeup how youve learned from other trans women, who learned from other trans women, who learned from other trans women.

t4t is doing your testosterone shots together and kissing each others sticks after you put the bandaid on.

t4t is holding the door for your trans girlfriend and showing her the chivalry she didn't get from her dad growing up, but its ok because you can show her now.

t4t is being on the phone with your partner who just came out as trans/nonbinary after seeing you, YOU, live your truth, and them asking you to help them find a new name, the perfect name for them, and you hope theyll carry that part of you forever.

you are trans and that is beautiful. your transness is beautiful. trans love is beautiful. dont let ANYBODY make you feel unworthy of sex or love. THATS what being t4t means.

[oldsgie-deactivated20260302]

Transphobes often say gender is like a coin, either heads or tails. They're more right than they realize.

Gender is a coin. Everybody is given one at birth, and they're given it either heads or tails. You can flip it over. You can flip it back. You can keep flipping it all you want. You can balance it on its side. You can throw it away. You can get a new one. You can take it to the zoo or museum to one of thise penny press machines. You can melt it and reform it. You can keep it melted. You could even take someone else's. You can glue fun things to it. You can paint it. You can take the paint off. You can trade them for cool shit.

Transphobes often say gender is a coin. They say this not realizing how easily coins can be changed.

[fluentisonus]

getting used to & comfortable with your own bare chest as a neutral & not inherently gendered thing over the course of an evening alone and then having to go out in public again the next day & feel weird about it again like prometheus and his liver except every day you're forced to regrow an awareness of society gendering anatomy