I'm just 569 bats in a patch jacket

Jess-They/Them-23-Chronically ill & Neurodivergent

[proteusolm]

Crazy to think that seagulls existed before french fries.

[bluebandedagate-reblogs]

Medieval seagull struggling to fly away with an entire purloined potatoe

[json-derulo]

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn

[sluttynurse]

everyone's afraid of looking busted everyone's afraid of making mistakes everyone's afraid of looking stupid everyone's afraid of embarrassment everyone's afraid of imperfections because of the damn PANOPTICON that is current society and it's fucking STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[the-actual-ocean]

The Entirety of Tumblr from Tumblr has been Chucked in to the ocean! You're all wet now.

[goldenretriever-boyfriend]

[storm-of-feathers]

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

[energyprison]

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

[piranesies]

they should invent putting on sunscreen that doesn't feel like putting on sunscreen

[draconym]

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

[draconym]

[orcboxer]

Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them

[fibro-memes]

[theinfiknight]

Love when you try to take a screenshot but fuck up the timing of the volume down lock button combo and are left sitting there with slightly softer music and a black screen and you just have to sit there looking at your reflection on the locked phone and contemplate your failure for a bit

[fondesmode]

I think flinching is such a hit or miss reflex. Like yea a tiny bit of boiling water touched my hand but i dont think reflexivly throwing the water everywhere is a good defensive measure perhaps. might be even worse actually

[mizuthe-cat]

it’s always “I understand why you have an autism diagnosis now” and not “thank you for explaining the entirety of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster to me, I really enjoyed hearing about the Chernobyl nuclear disaster”

[phorusrhacidae-lesbian]

little miss auditory processing disorder would like you to repeat what you just said then immediately respond to you before you finish

[dionysiaproductions]

Tumblr should never have given us polls. Everyday I have to see years-old polls cross my dash proudly proclaiming past-me's vote which I now disagree with. Let me change my vote!! I have rethought which Tetris piece is the sexiest.

[kosmogrl]

[sleepy-bebby]