The beginning? Difficult. So very difficult. I have so many things to say, but I struggle to put them all together into a somewhat coherent text. And what could I possibly write that you donโt already know, my love? Donโt you know it all by now?
And so I asked myself that exact question: Do you know?
Do you know that everywhere I look, I look for you? Always, always looking for you, looking at the world and seeing only you. Every song I hear, every window I glimpse into, the words and conversations I pick up on in passing, the colors, scents, and sounds around me- I shape and bend and will them into spelling out your name. Do you know how much I love your name? Your name, that first felt so strange but now its familiarity feels like a balm, a soothing stringing together of letters that spell home, spell declarations of love, of a life well lived. A life to be lived.
Did you know that Persephone ate six pomegranate seeds that tied her to the underworld, and that Iโve waited six years to make this relation? Did you know I wouldโve eaten the entire pomegranate if it had granted me the same fate? That I wouldnโt have needed a pomegranate at all to stay, to spend all of eternity with you, and that I would have defied the Moirai to make it so?
Do you know about this little thing I wrote for you? That I, once again, tried to pour my love for you into words?
Iโve invited my obsession and infinite devotion to join me this once.
Atropos, a promise.
Today, I give thanks to Clotho for spinning our threads,
And to Lachesis for measuring them;
yet I face Atropos only with fear, pleading with
her to turn her gaze elsewhere
- away from you.
but should she glance your way, my beloved,
Iโll hunt her across worlds, rend Olympus itself from its foundations,
hurl gods into the abyss and unmake the skies, unmake the seas until
I have her screaming, pleading for her life. My love,
Iโd lay waste to the stars and watch the world burn into ash
before I watch you end.
Let the world crumble, let the heavens fall,
let even the sun be torn from the sky,
but not you.
not you. I could annihilate all the gods , make
them kneel before my fury, and still,
still it wouldnโt be enough ,
nothing in existence could match the violence
of what I would do to protect you.
only you.
a warning, Atropos.
My love, do you know now about its limits? That it has none, that I know none? That in all the years Iโve lain with you, I think I have never attempted to deliver even a grain of the atrocities Iโd commit for you? Do you love me still? Or do you deem madness a spawn of the devil, of monsters and ghouls; deem it unfit for creatures incapable of and undeserving of love? Do you know that I will love you for the rest of my life? That I want to turn these six into twelve, into twenty, into thirty, into forty, into all the years to come? And do you know that these six years with you have meant everything to me? That you mean everything to me? God, Stiles, you are everything to me. Everything. Do you know that? Do you, Stiles? In case you donโt, in case Iโve somehow made it hard for you to understand: I love you, Stiles Stilinski-Hale. I love you beyond words, beyond worlds and measure, Stiles. My chest hurts with how much I do, but more so it hurts from the knowledge of never being able to make you feel what I feel for you the way I do right here, right inside this body. So when you say you want to crawl under my skin, live and stay there forever, it makes me happy,so happy- about the fantasy in which you do climb inside me and you do find the force of cosmic love that resides in me, dedicated in its entirety to you. That you get to bathe in it, get to dive and drown in it. But I also want to thank you.Thank you, my best friend, my boyfriend, my fiancรฉ, and now husband, for loving me, choosing me, and choosing me every day for the past six years. For the love I have received, that you have given me- thank you.
Happy 6th anniversary, baby. Six years of making all my dreams come true; dreams that have only ever revolved around you. @embcrspark
