The Broken Corral

Cilantro or Griff | They/them| personal stuff whatever that means | main blog/ Shovel Knight fanart : @griffeller-grifondoro | secondary-other fanart blog: @cilodoro

[latexparty]

You know I tell people my immune system is really freakin good a lot of the time but I keep recalling all the questionable things Ive done like yeaaaaaa this must be built up tolerance or some shit and not innate if thats even possible idr i got 5 hours of sleep. Never forget when I forgot to wash cow blood off my hands before eating smth stupid like SIX DONUTS IN ONE SITTING and only questioning the umami of it when I hit donut number Last. Like finally paused n went Wait... Donut is not beefy! 🧐 and then detective dumbass spotted a clue : meat chunk on her fingernail

Addendum: 6 donuts is nothing to me and i encourage people to feast as they wish. The stupidity of it is that i only questioned it half a dozen in.

[latexparty]

Didnt get sick at all btw just kinda moved on like Whelp

[lucario1829]

shout out to the time in like middle school where we were staying at a place overnight for a field trip and some classmate tried to "prank" me by giving me a box of cheezits and claimed it was a gift from my gf so i was like yeah whatev thanks and ate like half of them before he came up to me and was like. uhm. we sprayed that all with axe btw and i was like oh i thought they did taste a lil different

[latexparty]

Lets all please share our awful awful food stories together. I need to hear them all. Adding another one of mine

When i worked down south i would be so fuckin hungry during my 9 hour shifts (usually like 6 of them a week averaged out)(i was "part time" so this is why i didnt feel bad doing it) i would just cut off chunks of raw steak and nibble on them and they tasted kinda like sushi but to the left

[griff-chatters]

Uuuuh I never had stories these unhinged most I have are related to how I ate my food. Because in elementary school we'd have shitty to no kitchenware I ever since had the habit to gulp down yogurt and what Americans call cottage cheese just like. You'd drink it off a mug. Sometimea I do it with fruit salad when my parents pack it for me for uni and I can't find my fork/it's covered in meat sauce and I'm too lazy to wash it

I had pasta with my hands like the true Italian I am, and I think during the week I was left home alone I would eat like an actual animal from the plate rice or breaded chicken I'd make and just tear it down. I have a bad habit of eating deli meat all in one bite no matter the thickness and I almost chocked to death twice as a kid because of that (prosciutto is too good though)

But for some reason I won't eat sweet stuff with my hands. Sugar's too sticky. I would not be able to hold those in my hands without feeling weird but I would eat them like a crocodile if you threw them at me

[griff-chatters]

You either disappear as a popular artist in a fandom or live long enough to see it change into something you don't like or vibe with anymore and remain stuck in irrelevancy or whatever the saying goes

[griff-chatters]

Sorry for the low activity I spent the past few months working on a bigass project and refusing to enter any social media because of the constant Crazy Fandom Behaviour, Drama of people calling out said Fandom Behaviour, Infighting, Fetishization/Romanticizing of mental illness and its misery, more drama, posts of people not content with the way some other people live and vicevcersa and more infighting and porn ads and porn art and mischaracterization from the characters I follow and AI and

[alteredpanel]

regardless, yours

[griff-chatters]

Social medias is such a weird experience to me. On one hand there's the need to keep up with everything, fear of missing out and yadda yadda always be watching always be connected But then I'm disabled in a way that anything that has the power to drain me mentally is just Not Something I'm Gonna Do, which includes social medias

So it's just this weird limbo where on one hand ig I should be satisfied I'm basically immune to attention traps but because it's not from a self-conscious decision but my own brain turning against itself, and the state of Brainrotted being so normalized, that it feels more like a punishment and idk I don't pretend for this to be some kind of social commentary or whatever the fuck just a thought for when I log in once a week outside of friends chats

[grif-o-cil]

I'll figure out later if adding the emergency tag because I don't want to overstep anyone. Anyway

Hi I need theraphy. My parents are kind of shitheads when it comes to mental health, neglected my struggles until late teenagehood, was terminated the first time I tried it, had to quit the second and the third time I was sent to a center that 1. It's pretty fucking far with no possibility of online session (I can manage with public transport for this year, but idk about next ones) 2. I cannot afford it on my own anyway, most of my extended family is on shambles/has their own stuff going on including mine and and by god I'm gonna ask my parents about that given the track record.

I could reach the place but asked already about the programs and at most I'd need around 400 euros for 10 sessions and I hardly believe those are all the ones I need.

But also my mental health Horrible and I don't think I can afford to wait any longer either. I'm tired and I would like to try relying on a professional figure or at least get a diagnosis rather than crashing out over and over again every other day and have it affect my social, academical and general life more than it already has been. I couldn't get help before and I'm not willing to hope I get at 30+ to perhaps maybe get something at a point when life it's already on fire and harder to catch up. I don't like asking for anything but I'm too tired to wait on a miracle.

So like. Yeah if you would like a drawing so I can pay for a psychiatrist/psychoterapist or you could spread the word, it'd be very much appreciated. You can check out my drawings of my Kofi (acts as a portfolio) or at this blog, specifically this post with all the information.

https://www.tumblr.com/grif-o-cil/762336174329184256/support-grif-o-cil-on-ko-fi?source=share (idk why it's not embedding, rough solution but hope it works)

Thank you very much and hope you have a great day

[griff-chatters]

Been like "Oh my god I now know of the funny game I can return to society without eating spoiler here and there"

And I return here and get flashbanged with Farcille art from thw wholesome to the "THEY ARE GAY YOU'RE HONOR SO GAY" masterpieces

Not that I complain actually amazing Welcome Back ever I got from a social hiatus lmfao

[griff-chatters]

I sure have feelings for my country

[griff-chatters]

Who would have guessed life is so much better when you're not sleep drunk the entire time functioning on a handful of nuts and a pastry desperately trying to learn one damn thing of biochemistry

[griff-chatters]

For every bigot or chronically online person I meet irl or in internet spaces I become queerer. As in I'm one step closer to perform a ritual that will turn me into a creature of void and transcend godhood and kill the rest of the pantheon so I don't have to listen to them or anyone on the mortal realm and if I do I can explode their minds

[griff-chatters]

Happy Valentine's day to the romantic, platonic and misterious friends. To the aros, the aces and the greys in between, to homage the (good) past or praise for the future of the single fellas

And to everyone who told their parents they were gonna spend the day on their own or their folks to sneak up and kiss their forbidden (compliment) lover which is totally not a self-callout

Treat yourself and have a great day <3

[griff-chatters]

Hey hello I think I'm alive

Uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[griff-chatters]

Everyone talking about the Minecraft new trailer and yapping GUYS LOOK AT WHAT ELSE DROPPED

I have sooooooooo many feelings about it and god only knows if any of them is positive

[griff-chatters]

That feeling when Animal Ethology lessons turn out to be more useful than all the theraphy sessions I had to sit through

[grif-o-cil]

Heyyyyyy

You can find info about what I offer here!! Or if you just wanna contribute to my work: ko-fi.com/grifondoro [you can also see a more on point gellery of my drawings!!!]

Any support is appreciated!! If not in money, reblogs of this or of my art in general is very much appreciated <3

Founds go on pet-related purchases, snacks for my cat and food for my gecko and vet expenses for both since my parents won't spend an euro for them (sure not on my gecko) lol, and on meals for me because I just found my semester is gonna include lessons from 8 am to 6 pm everyday and I have exams to prepare and god help me

Anyway finally having open commissions!! Have a good day everyone

[griff-chatters]

Hey lol guess who entered the content creation market fr (if you can check up my kofi page and/or reblog that'd be great ty ty)

[griff-chatters]

[TW// BODY HORROR & MENTAL ILLNESS (mention) real image is under the first one +explanation viewer discretion is advised]

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Dimorphio, a rapresentation of Body Dismorphia

Horses have always been associated to the idea of beauty, of graceful fierceness; the white horse especially, has been a symbol of nobilty of blood and heart, a leader itself.

Humans instead, what creature isn't as magnificient as the human being? With an intellect greater that distinguishes it from the rest of animals, its ability to bend the world at its use, in some older culture it was, instead, the peak of the idea of reason and rational though.

Centaurs are a mix of humans and horses, so it should take the best aspects of both worlds, no? A delicate yet powerful figure, able to understand better and appreciate the world around, using both its newfound manuality of hands and its raw strenght to move in the world at an even better pace.

...but. Such creature doesn't exist for a reason. How would two creatures that feed onto different things, sustain one another? The horse takes all the grass, it grows and fattens, but what of the human unable to feast on cellulose, forced to starve? Unable to grow, it instead shrivels and weakens, barely can even breathe as the lungs touch the ribs struggling to expand. What of such deformed body, would it even work? Would it even function? Can nimb human arms sustain the weight of a powerhouse that is a horse? But can a horse even walk with two missing limbs?

And a head, of what use is the head then, if only to make useless thoughts while the body aches and struggles? Might as well live without it, there, it only takes place, it's only more dead weight.

That's what Dismorphio did. It was so jealous of other creatures and of its peers, envy of their bodies and a horrifix disgusting mess its was; its face was so horrible it could not bare its reflection on a mirror anymore, and so it got rid of it to instead... place a mirror. So maybe, others would instead look into it, and their pretty faces would have been its. But due to its envy and self-hatred, the image comes distorted, it never is an exact copy of what the other.

But Dismorphio learnt to use this at its advantage. It can lure other creatures that way, who become obsessed with their distorted image and keep looking at it, keep staring, as the beast feast onto their own hatred until they are consumed by it. And so Dysmorphio moves onto its prey, hoping to find one that can satisfy it.

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Obligatory note that I'm doing good now, body dysmorphia is something I dealt with most of my life and I wanted to try represent it. It is a fun way to elaborate on things lol

Cheers and best wishes to anyone having to deal with this punk. It's a crybaby bitch, I give you permission and the obligation to break its kneecaps amd mirror face

[griff-chatters]

"Background Noise", 05/12/2024

A vent piece done for when everything is a lot