Wir hatten keine Zeit zu duschen...
noise dept.
YOU ARE THE REASON
đȘŒ
todays bird

oozey mess
Xuebing Du
Peter Solarz

JBB: An Artblog!
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

@theartofmadeline

No title available
No title available
occasionally subtle
i don't do bad sauce passes

ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation
Mike Driver
One Nice Bug Per Day
tumblr dot com

shark vs the universe
Jules of Nature

seen from Malaysia

seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Iraq

seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from Germany
seen from Japan

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@gross-pink
Wir hatten keine Zeit zu duschen...
In case anyone is having a bad night
(The best of this post and its reblogs, but with links that work)
Here is a website where you can scroll down to all the different levels of the oceanÂ
Here is a website where you can see the future of the universe
Here is a website where you can press a âmake everything okayâ button, over and over, until things really are okay
Here is a website that you can read if you feel like a burden
Here is a website where you can look at strobe illusions (TW strobe/flashing)
Here is a website where you can cut stuff up (TW blood/sh)
Here and here are websites where you can play with sand
Here is a website where you can draw with macaroni and other fun foods
Here is a website where you can paint someoneâs nails
Here is a website where you can grow a garden with emojis
Here is a website with hundreds of videos of people hugging you (rightfully dubbed âthe nicest place on the internetâ because it really is, yâall, it made me cry)
Here is a website that will take you to other useless websites
Here is a website where you can make a tiny cat play bongo drums (and other instruments!)
Here is a website to help give you gentle reminders <3
Here is a website where you can grow a tiny farm
Here is a website where you can take a bunch of scientific personality tests
Here is a website of calm rain noise
Take a breath. Itâs going to be okay, I promise.
The timing of this post is actually insane. Spent the day watching years of family issues explode in real time, getting a surprise front-row seat to a confrontation, and generally feeling like my brain got put in a blender. Add in questionable math scores too, an emergency 7/11 trip, and the kind of day that makes you want to stare at a wall and probably cry for a bit. Well i did cry, fuck my life
Not to vaguepost, but if you had told me this morning that Iâd end the day exhausted from both family drama and math, then find a post full of cat links, virtual hugs, funny videos, and little things to do when life gets too loud, I wouldâve believed you immediately.
Seeing this right now feels oddly comforting. Thanks, Tumblr.
On my way to read smut
Boyd fowler the type to try and talk you through it and cum first
They want him for his body AND his sociopathic tendencies.
:à°Âš â± đđđđđđđđđ đđđ đ : đ đđđđđđđđđđ
đđđđđđđ! đđđđđđ đđđđđđđ đ đđđđđđ
:à°Âš â± đđđđđđđ đđđđđđđđ : nsfw . sub!vampire!julian devorak . dom!fem!reader/apprentice . menstruation kink . blood kink . facesitting . squirting . slight mommy kink (says it like once?) . slight scent kink . handjob .
:à°Âš â± đđđđ đđđđđ : 3.8k+
đđđđ đđđđ : đđđđđđđđđ đđđđđđđđđđ : đđđđ đđđđ
The shop was bustling with patrons today. A flurry of foreigners passing through town from the far north came in for herbs and bobbles alike, some having to duck under the door frame in their rigid tallness. They even bought some of the runestones youâve been trying to sell for months, overall a successful day business-wise!
If only you were in the right spirits to enjoy it. Concealing pain with a smile and chipper attitude only lasts so long, and while the Northmen had been easygoing, you felt relieved to finally flip the sign on the door to closed.
You try to be enthusiastic as Julian makes his dramatic entry from just next door, lazily wiping down the front counter. He seems to notice your mood however and flusters, toning it down and walking up to the counter to lean over it.
âBusy day?â He inquires knowingly, red eyelashes fluttering when you meet him halfway for a kiss.
âYou could say that,â You chuckle, smiling against his lips and snaking an arm around his shoulders to pull him in closer. âDid you get any precariously tall northerners in your clinic by chance?â
âYes actually, how did youâŠâ He looks shocked that you knew.Â
âHad half the caravan in my shop. It was good for business but⊠well.â You sigh, sagging against the counter as a cramp twists your stomach in knots. You grimace and shift as you feel that icky trickling sensation.
EARLY SEASONS EATER SAMMY BRYANT HCS
shameless smut under the cut. reader has a vagina. sammy my brother just another me. not proofread just yappin
man spreadâŠ..it needs plenty of room to breathe đ đ đ đ đ đ đ đ
Armadillo skull with its armor
Suggestive :P , feminine!reader
The boys. Reallly like that lower part of your stomach that sticks out in bodycon dresses. Like. A lot.
You normally donât wear them because youâve been conditioned to believe only a certain body type can, but the boys have spent a long time helping you heal your perception of yourself, so you finally feel confident enough to try.
When you walk out in the skin tight dress, feeling pretty for once and they all groan loudly, covering their faces and turning away, you get nervous very quickly. DoâŠdo they not like it?
You kind of curl into yourself, bringing your arms up to wrap around your stomach.
âYou tryinâ to kill us or somethinâ, hen?â Johnny speaks first, âcannae just do that to a man without warning, now me pants are uncomfortableâŠâ
Youâre still locked in your perception that they donât like the dress, so youâre confused trying to figure out what he meant by that.
âJesus, love, why the hell havenât we seen this dress before? You been holdinâ out on us?â Kyle is bold enough to approach, gently taking your arms away from yourself to hold your hands and continue admiring your body.
Price drags his hand down his face, peeking through his fingers before groaning and turning away again, âsweetheart, I dunno if you can wear that.â Your heart sinks again before he continues, âIâm afraid itâll be on the floor before we get to the restaurant.â
Simon comes from behind, wrapping his arms around your stomach and caressing it appreciatively. He leans down to whisper in your ear, letting you feel his warm breath on your neck, ââs dangerous, pretty. Gonna make me do thing that arenât appropriate for the public.â
Your face is hot. OhâŠso they like the dress.
Now imagine Argonaut Octopus hybrid!soap who doesn't think to tell you how mating works for him...
Well, you were aware vaguely that hybrids could have wildly different genitalia, but nothing could have prepared you for soap unzipping his trousers and a fucking tentacle slithering out.
"What the hell is that?!" You gape, then cringe upon realizing gaping at a hybrids dick because it doesn't look like a humans is probably rude "uhm. I meanâ uh..."
"Ach, don't worry, dove," soap chuckles. You're sure he's giving you a reassuring expression, but your eyes ar glued to the way his tentacleâdick writhes and wiggles on it's own. "It's just my cock, hectocotylus, technically."
"...won't the uhâ the cups get...stuck?" You mumble, face burning. An odd feeling of anxiety and anticipation rolling in your stomach. Soap is big.
"Nah, I can control them." Soap assures. He pulls the rest of his clothes off, tentacle still twitching, as if searching for you. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought about this before, seeing soap use his normal tentacles around base. Those long, slithering appendagesâ
"It has a mind of it's own, curious too, but it'll be nice." Soap interrupts your thoughts, and you only then realize that he's knelt between your spread thighs, absently stroking his cock.
"oâokay." You nod, propping yourself up on your elbows because you have to see this.
Imagine retired!soap who has really poor hand coordination after a mishap with an ied, right?
He just sticks to paperwork and teaching the demolitions classes now, which means he works closely with you, the teacher for the practical stuff he can't do.
It's practically an open secret that you two like eachother, what with all the longing glances and flirting.
Thing is, soap really likes you. More than just some fun fling. Soap can't do a lot of normal, mundane stuff without difficulty, and it...kind of makes him insecure. What kind of man can't even wear shoes with laces? What kind of man would still be desirable like that to you?
So when you invite him to dinner, soap is tempted to turn you down. But you smile and run your hands along his arm with a "please, johnny? I'll let you pick the place."
...he chooses a familiar restaurant, one he and gaz visit regularly.
Soap orders a soup he's not too fond of, a bit risky considering his tremors, but a safer bet than anything that needs to be cut up. He furrows his brow when you ask the waiter "two of those ribeyes from the specialty menu? Oh, and some extra napkins?"
Soap isn't one to comment on other people's meals, he's seen ghost put away five of those steaks after coming back from months in the field. Still. It's odd compared to what he knows from you. A break in the pattern.
The food arrives, and soap tries to hide how careful he is lifting the spoon to his mouth, how his grip is awkward and painful. Thankfully, you don't notice, too busy....cutting up the steak?
"Here, johnny, move that," you cut the steak into small bite-sized chunks, then reach over the table to move soaps soup out of the way, making space for the ribeye. You chuckle at his baffled expression "what? You thought I'd enjoy something this nice while you eat your sad little soup?"
"....you cut it up..." soap mutters, totally caught off guard at how...simple it was.
You didn't comment on it, you didn't scold johnny for avoiding either. You just...saw the issue and fixed it.
"Uh..? Was iâ was i not supposed to?" You ask, now worries because soap still hasn't grabbed a fork. "Kyle said you preferred smaller bigger chunks. I can make them smaller, if that's whatâ"
"No. No, it's justâ" soap tries not to tear up at the fact you asked his friends how to help him. The first and last date he had after the incident called him a child for asking for help cutting his food. "...I didn't expect it. Thank ye. Really."
"Hey." You knock your foot against his under the table, smiling "anything for you, yeah?"
You share a tent with Johnny.
He makes some excuse as to not being able to sleep alone, so you graciously allow him to sleep with you.
He makes another excuse that he canât sleep without being close to someone. A flimsy excuse that you see right through. You shoot him down and he whines some more. He inches closer to you and begs for you to let him sleep close.
âPlease, Iâll have nightmares.â
You huff and begrudgingly allow him to wrap an arm around your waist.
âI swear to God, Johnny. If that thing touches me.â
Johnny chuckles, âWhaâ thing, hen?â
âYour dick.â
He hums against the back of your head, sending tingles down your spine, âAh, donât worry âbout thaâ, bonnie. Heâll behave âimself.â
âI will cut it off.â You threaten, making Johnny chuckle again. âIâm serious.â
âI ken.â He replies, âGoodnight.â He places a faint kiss to the back of your head, making you press your thighs together involuntarily.
âŠ
Johnny jerks awake with a pained groan, his hands immediately cupping his crotch. Tears brimming in his eyes.
âWhat the fuck!â He groans, squeezing his eyes shut as the throbbing persists.
âYou were hard, you perv.â You scold, your canteen in your hand. Your weapon of choice.
âJesusâŠâ He hisses. â..I cannae help it, bonnie. Natural-natural reactionâŠâ He looks down at his crotch, relived that you didnât make good on your threat and cut it off.
âUh-huh. Grinding against my ass is also a natural reaction too?â
Imagine being soaps partner, and deciding to start going to the gym, build some muscle, right?
You're, admittedly, a little bit embarrassed about it. You know how much soap loves working out, and you don't want to make a fool of yourself in front of him. So you decide to go while he's on base, just until you get the hang of things.
Turns out, working out is really nice. Sure, your body is aching and you're covered in sweat, but it feels good to put your muscles to use.
Well...you decide to snap a cheeky mirror picture before you shower, feeling yourself. You post it to your story without much thought.
Meanwhile, on base, soap nearly chokes on his drink when he checks the notification for your account.
There, in all your glory, is soaps beloved partner stood in front of the mirror in his gym. Skin glistening with sweat, an exhausted smile on your face that looks oh so close to another expression you makeâ
Soap genuinely does choke when he realizes what you're wearing as a cover.
His t-shirt. The ratty, worn, oversized one that he loves to sleep in. Absolutely drenched in sweat from your workout.
Soap frantically dials your number, and before you can even get a word out he says "don't wash the t-shirt! I saw your post, please hen, don't wash itâ"
And to think you thought soap would be embarrassed of you.
thinking of frat!johnny who has genuine tears in his eyes when he sneaks his hand into your underwear during movie night and realises youâre clean shaven.
his head falls onto your shoulder and a sad little whimper leaves him. no, heâs not crying (yet), heâs just making his dislike known before he starts to mumble about how heâs grieving now and asking what heâs supposed to use to fidget during the boring parts.
his soft little heart breaks at how cold it might feel now that itâs missing its little jacket. let him warm you up with his mouth.
ughh.. having gross thoughts about pope cuz of this post...
warning for some cnc, ED (erectile dysfunction) mention, & takes place in a pre-established relationship
making a lighthearted ED joke one day and you think he just brushes it off until you get a little tipsy later that same day and he pulls you into a quiet room, away from whatever party was being thrown... you know you're gonna give him what he wants but you've gotta tease him a little first... he does not find it as entertaining as you do. He turns you in his arms, your back against his chest as he haphazardly pulls his partially erect cock from the confines of his pants. You giggle as he strokes himself, spitting into his hand to try and angrily solve his problem. His arm still around you moves to hold your face, and he grits out through clenched teeth "You think this is funny ? ", making you laugh harder and nod. Your attempt at teasing him further is forced from your lungs as he burries himself inside you in one sharp thrust. You feel as if you're melting, his pace unrelenting even though he just started. "Fuck, Andy... not here. They'll- uh, hear us." Your hands push at his sides in an attempt to even just slow him down a little. His next thrust is a particularly deep one, making you loudly moan before pulling one of your arms from him to cover your mouth. He grumbles, quickly moving his hand from your hip to your wrist, pulling it behind your back, and pinning it between you as he continues pounding into you. As your nails scratch at his stomach, he groans "Gonna let them hear your pretty sounds you make for me ?" but you shake your head. "Ah fuck.. I can't.." His four fingers tap at your cheek, "Uh-uh.. I know you can. You're a big girl." You feel dangerously close, ghosts of "stop..." leaving your lips and quickly disappearing into the thick fog that filled the room. He fucked you until you came with a yelp, not stopping until you were begging him. Your words of "God Andy, 's too much. can't..." finally made his hips still with a deep groan into your ear and his cum coating your insides. Once his cock stopped twitching, he pulled out with a hiss and let your underwear cover you again, holding him inside. You fell back onto the bed, and he chuckled as he fastened his pants, "Doesn't work too well, huh ?" and left, closing the door behind himself.
-
I have much grosser and much meaner thoughts but those r for another time... hope u enjoyed <3
Kinktober Day 2 - Coming Untouched
Kinktober Master list: Here König x Fem!Reader
CW: Sexual frustration/Shame, Voyeuristic undertones, Light Humiliation, Accidental Stimulation/Ejaculation, Semi-Public
Only the dull thump of distant weights and the rubber squeak of sneakers against the mat could be currently heard in the gym. You and König were both warming up before sparring, facing each other in mirrored stretches.
You bent forward, your palms flat to the mat, hips sinking low as your shorts rode higher with each movement, the fabric tugging tight against your plush rear. König tried - he really did - to keep his eyes on the floor. On the laces of his boots. On anything but you.
But every time you moved, his gaze slipped. To the curve of your spine. The way your shirt slid up and revealed just a hint of skin. The soft sound of your breath with each deep stretch. It was unraveling him thread by thread.
His gloves sat loose in his lap, completely forgotten now and his pulse hammered in his throat, in his chest, lower. He shifted awkwardly, trying to adjust without drawing attention, but the friction made it worse. Heat flushed up his neck, his cock already pressing painfully against his shorts.
'ScheiĂe⊠not nowâŠ' he cursed himself internally.
He dug his nails into the mat in an attempt to will the tension away, but it only built. Watching you move so easily, totally unaware of what you were doing to him. It had his body betraying him. He tried to look away. Tried to breathe steady. But every twist of your hips was torture, every stretch another spark catching on tinder already too dry.
The coil inside him wound tighter, each beat of his heart echoing like a drum in his skull. Every subtle shift, every faint hum or sigh you let slip pushed him closer and closer to the edge and he couldn't look away. His chest heaving as if the effort alone could anchor him, but it did nothing.
Heat pooled low, the pressure building unbearably until the tension snapped like a rope frayed one too many times. A strangled, guttural sound tore from his throat before he could even think to stop it, a sharp exhale of shame and need. His thighs locking, shaking with the sudden violent pulse of release, and wet warmth flooded his shorts, clinging hot and humiliating against him.
He gasped, his shoulders jerking as he tried to sink lower into a stretch to hide the tremor running up his legs. His hooded head bent close to his knees, sweat mingling with the flush on his face, but it didn't matter. He could feel every jolt, every heartbeat, every pulse that left him trembling. His body betrayed him in the quiet gym, and the weight of that humiliation pressed down on him heavier than any barbell ever could.
His breath came ragged and broken, each inhale a struggle as aftershocks wracked his thighs and abdomen. He clenched his fists at his sides, as if gripping could somehow reclaim control, but it was already gone. The sticky, hot mess in his shorts was proof, and the thought that you might notice - even for a second - made him want to vanish into the floor.
'VerdammtâŠ' he hissed under his breath, the sound muffled against his hood, hips twitching once more despite himself. Every pulse reminded him of how completely undone he was, ruined by nothing more than watching you stretch so innocently, so completely unaware of the chaos you'd caused.
And then - worse - your voice. Light, warm, casual. "You good, big guy? You look a little red."
König froze, heat searing his face as you shifted closer to grab your water bottle, your hand brushing his thigh as you leaned in. Just a graze of fingers, so innocent and thoughtless. But to him? It felt like lightning. The damp cling of his ruined shorts right there beneath your touch.
His breath hitched audibly and he jerked back, but it was too late to make it look natural.
You tilted your head, smiling up at him. "Did I scare ya?"
He swallowed, his throat dry and words stumbling out thick with his accent. "N-nein, I⊠eh⊠it is just⊠too warm in here, ja?"
You laughed, a light little sound that spilled from your lips, shaking your head as you turned back to your stretch. Oblivious. Unbothered.
König sat rigid, his hands digging into his knees. The mess in his shorts was sticky and shameful, but his cock still twitched, aching for more even as guilt burned hot in his chest.
And you - bless your heart - were still stretching, still humming lightly to yourself - and had no idea what you'd just done to him.
Taglist: @jazlinda , @humongousdninja , @fertilise-me , @taskforce1whore1
CW- pussy drunk virgin!könig, nothing but pure smut, đ :)
âPlease, MausiâŠâ König cooed at you impatiently, his blunt and filed fingernails digging into the sides of your plush thighs, your soft fat spilling from between his fingers, his head rested in your lap.
He had been desperate to taste you, something heâd always dreamt of having - your cunt on his face, allowing him to drool all over your sex. He wanted nothing more than to feel your legs wrap around his head, soft thighs suffocating him, your smaller hands tangled in his locks of auburn strands, his trembling tongue working out an orgasm from you with your back arched and pleased, needy whines escaping from your lips - begging him for more.
âYou know thatâs not fair.â He grumbled out. An irritated and flushed expression clear and visible on Königâs face. His cheeks are a pretty pink, likely matching the shade of his leaking tip, creating a white milky stain in his boxer briefs. His silver eyes are glossy and full of lust as he bites at the waistband of your panties, pulling down your hemline waiting for you to give in.
You had been teasing him all day - taunting him about being a virgin, about never getting to taste a pussy. The entire time you degraded and humiliated him drunkenly in front of all your friends, you were dragging your hand up and down his clothed thigh, worsening the effect you usually had on him. He had to hold back the irresistible urge of bending you over the kitchen countertop and pounding into you relentlessly in front of everyone. He could barely concentrate on anything said to him with your hand massaging his knee, the lavender smell of your shampoo causing all the blood to rush to the head of his aching cock.
A sleazy and satisfied grin curled the sides of your lips, nodding eagerly before lying back against the mattress. Using his teeth, König pulled your lace, black panties off with one swift movement. His breath was hot, uncontrolled, and clammy against the smooth skin on your legs. He sucked in a sharp breath at the sight of your warm slickness; beads of sweet arousal running down between your slit, looking so delectable for the poor virgin. Sure, he was inexperienced. But, König had spent enough hours getting himself off to porn when youâd refuse to take his virginity, squeezing his meaty cock so tightly to imitate the tightness of your cunt before shooting strings of his hot load all over his muscular, hairy abdomen.
You parted your thighs, your legs pulled over his broad shoulders, With one hand on his head guiding him, and the other gripping the bedsheets, his virgin tongue lapping over your entire heat. A whimper left your lips, signalling to König you were enjoying whatever he was attempting to do. He sucked on your clit gently, eyes glazed and looking up at you so sweetly, your chest rising and falling rapidly at the stimulation to your clit. âFuck, thatâs it, König.â Every word of encouragement only fuelled his fury and need to overstimulate you, prove that heâs capable and worthy of having sex with you.
âGod, you taste so fucking amazing, Mauschen- If I knew this is what I was missing, I wouldâve taken you long, long agoâŠâ
Your fingers pulled at his locks of hair as two of his calloused and scarred hands caressed and massaged your trembling body, the sight of your jaw agape, your lips parted allowing for euphoric moans to slip out from them leaving him straining in his underwear. He pushed his tongue between your soft folds, burying his stubbled face between your legs, his rectangular glasses clouded up and foggy from his hot breath and humidity. He groaned into your hole, becoming almost enchanted by the delicious drops of sweet pleasure dripping from you.
Gazing down at him, he looked so pretty; his lips glossy and coated in a thin layer of your juices and dripping down his chin, his blues half-lidded and lazily looking up at you, his tongue forcing an orgasm out of you. Your back arched in response to his sensual touch, his thumb rubbing at your clit as you met your high, your heart thrumming against your sternum, a lone tear wandering down the side of your face as you squealed and bucked your cunt into his face, strings of saliva dripping from his lips and onto your thighs.
Fuck, maybe you would let him lose his virginity to youâŠ