The Chemistry of A Bisexual

20 year old bisexual woman, attempting to write a blog. I'm rubbish at names so I just picked the two most relevant aspects of my life and put them into a title. Enjoy!

[allthebestofmemes]

allthebestofmemes is your #1 source of funny

[thatawkwardbimoment]

That awkward bi moment

when you are told “you dress too much like a girl to be bisexual”. (submitted by Anon)

[para-noia]

That awkward bi moment when you are told “you dress too much like a boy to be bisexual”.

[sickslime-deactivated20160215]

that awkward bi moment when you wear clothes and are also bisexual.

[sorrynotsorrybi]

Where is the lie

[gsmith234-blog]

So I'm in a bit of a deep thinking mood rn..and it's about my parents, and my sexuality. Now I've said previously that I'm lucky because I'm in a family who accepts me, and that's true, because I know that if I brought a girl home, and said hey this is my girlfriend, they would be happy for me. However, I have only told one member of my family that I'm bisexual, and that's my brother, who is closest in age to me. He gave me a high five when I told him, that is one of my favourite moments in life. Thing is, I haven't told my family, because that is the biggest compliment I can give them. I'm confident that they would accept it, so why should I make a big deal about it? Why should I say ' I'm bi ' when I know that they would accept it? I want to tell them when it truly matters. When I have girlfriend I love and I want her to meet my family, but I feel conflicted, maybe my parents would be hurt that I didn't tell them? And part of me feels I'm living a lie? But I'm not really, I'm always guna be me and I know they wouldn't be upset by me being bi, but am I being dishonest by not telling them? Or am I living up to the standards in which I believe in where no one should have to label themselves by their sexuality? Perhaps I live in a time where this ideal isn't reality and I should just 'come out' and tell them, but then I would feel like I've ditched my ideals and my faith in my family... Anyway those are my thoughts this evening.. Thought I would write them down whilst I'm waiting for my garlic bread to cook.. Any thoughts are welcome

[bidyke]

A note on the recent study according to which all women are "actually bisexual", and why I find it suspicious

The notion that all women are “actually bi” is based in rape culture. It comes from a type of discourse that seeks to hypersexualize women and imagine them as available to cishet male sexuality and fantasies. This is the meaning attached to female bisexuality in society.

As long as this argument is only made about women, there is nothing subversive about it. It is not about challenging heterosexuality, it’s about removing sexual agency from women, and increasing their availability to cishet men. For this reason, claiming that all women are “actually bi” is a patriarchal interest.

Recall that in the US (the only place where statistics about this are to be found), half of bi women are survivors of rape, 60% are survivors of intimate partner violence, and 75% are survivors of sexual assault. (These figures are significantly higher than those of straight and gay women).

The notion that all women are “actually bi” is the other side of the argument that no men are ever bisexual. Male bisexuality threatens the structure of masculinity, among other reasons because it’s considered feminine, meaning it undermines masculine domination. This is why erasure of male bisexuality is also a patriarchal interest.

Taken together or in separate, both these notions are variants of bisexual erasure. If all women are bisexual, then there’s no such thing as bisexual identity. This notion erases bisexuality as an existing (rather than latent) identity, as specific and as political. It imagines bisexuality as nothing but sexual urges.

This notion is deeply gender-binary and misogynist because it imagines only two genders - cis men and cis women - which are also complimentary and hierarchical opposites.

Studies who truly want to challenge heterosexuality/heteronormativity can use any number of methods and approaches that do not reinforce patriarchy and sapphobia (biphobia against women), for example looking into the multiple fractures inside heterosexual identity.

This study is not about challenging heterosexuality, it’s about reinforcing patriarchy.

[bisexual-books]

This is an excellent analysis of the recent study by Rieger and Bailey.  It covers just about everything worth saying about why this study is a pile of garbage.   I will also add:

Why is Bailey so obsessed with arousal studies on queer people?  This is at least the third one he’s done with bisexual people and it is as predictably awful as the previous ones.  Can’t he take up macrame or something?  Why is he so obsessed with figuring out if queer people, especially bisexuals, are “real” by hooking things to their junk???

Why does the AIB (American Institute of Bisexuality) keep funding these terrible junk-science arousal studies?  They do NOTHING for our community, are full of holes, and are sooo offensive.  And why on earth did the US Dept.of Agriculture fund this?  I feel like the further funding of these pointless offensive studies is an issue all its own.  

Also here read this piece about why the science reporting on this has been paricularly terrible

Basically this whole thing is just one big sexist, heterosexist, and monosexist trainwreck.

- Sarah 

[sorrynotsorrybi]

I’m really glad that someone (several someones) took this article down, because it really needed to happen. It’s shoddy science that has major repercussions.

[gryfon-spanish-werewolf]

So I found this App called ‘Xe’.

It’s like a game, and really easy to use.

You select a pronoun, and there are quite a few.

And they give you all the conjugations, kind of like all those old language lessons in high school.

And after a few examples, they’ll test ya!

Type in your answer. If you get it wrong, you can try again no sweat.

All in all I thought it was pretty cool and I know I’ll be using it in the future!

You can try it for yourself and learn more about pronouns and the network Minus18 with these links. Happy learning everyone!

[genderfluxsupport]

oh. my. gosh. this is awesome! -OR

[ergativeabsolutive]

!!!

[practicallyeffected]

I sent my parents the link to this when I came out

[gsmith234-blog]

Amazing!

[sapphic-problems]

Lesbian Problem #41

When your gaydar is so bad that you have no clue who’s gay and who’s not

[only--love--girls]

[gsmith234-blog]

As promised, fancy dress photos. From a couple of weeks back now. Our lgbt+ society had a Disney social, Disney bought star wars, so I dressed as darth maul

[humanrightscampaign]

Congratulations Ireland!

Marriage equality begins today on the Emerald Isle.

[gaywrites]

In which SNL’s Pete Davidson destroys the toxic “man in a dress” claim that undoubtedly contributed to the failure of the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance. Bravo. 

[trollblogging]

[gsmith234-blog]

When people learn I study chemistry, breaking bad is always brought up. I understand the feeling.

[sorrynotsorrybi]

Nicole (of the #StillBisexual campaign) brought me an eraser! She says there are more here if you want to order some! 

[assignedmale]

Protecting children will only give them the tools to be able to protect themselves.

[gsmith234-blog]

One thing I have learnt in my short life is the simple fact that you are who you are. There is no changing that, if you are born as a female, but internally feel you are meant to be a boy, or vice versa, or you are gender fluid or gender neutral, who cares what anatomy you were born with? why should that define who you are on the inside? Everyone is beautiful, everyone deserves to be loved and everyone deserves to be accepted. Not told who they should be. This cartoon is so powerful, and highlights one of the many reasons we need to incorporate education into the curriculum for children from a young age about everyone in the LGBT+ community. People fear and discriminate against things that they do not understand and an understanding starts with an education. We are of the generation where for many in the LGBT+ community acceptance is becoming far more common. For example I am fortunate enough to have been born into a family who, and in a place that, accepts and supports me for exactly who I am. However there are still so many who are not as fortunate as I. We are the generation who are changing the face of what is ‘’normal’’ when it comes to sexuality and gender identity. We are the generation responsible for making sure this change continues to happen, and we are the generation responsible for educating future generations about the wonderful world that is self expression and acceptance. I want my future children to be brought up in a world where the scene in this cartoon isn’t applicable, because everyone has learnt to accept people for who they are.

[gsmith234-blog]

Me, Myself & I

Hey! An old friend of mine told me I really should write a blog about my thoughts and feelings about life in general, and I thought well why not give it a go? I am RUBBISH at keeping up with this sort of thing, so apologies if I forget to post for a while.  What you can expect: a lot about me discovering my sexuality, copious amounts of fancy dress selfies, and a lot of spelling mistakes.  A brief introduction: I am 20 years old, just ( I still don’t like admitting I’ve left my teen years behind me). I am a British student in my second year reading Chemistry. I come from the beautiful town of Cheltenham, Gloucestershire. And study in a city which, in my opinion, is one of the best in the UK, Cardiff. I have a dog, 3 older brothers and two wonderful parents.  I think that is enough about me for now.. hopefully I will remember to post more or this could get embarrassing!

[jasper-rolls]

[gsmith234-blog]

Me when I remember I have crisps after a night out