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“To heal a wound, you need to stop touching it. Unless you couldn’t unlove her, or you don’t want to. But who were you before she broke your heart?”
— J. Bolen (via quotemadness)
New York Style Crumb Cake
The Life of The Prophet Muhammad: Before His Birth, His Birth and His Childhood
The Prophet is Given to a Foster Mother
The universe, which rejoined its master was joyful. The heart of Arabia, which harbored the person that would provide the heart of humanity with light and peace, was very excited.
Makkah, in which the unmatched event of the universe took place, was so excited and joyful that it was as if it wanted to fly to the lofty realms.
Hazrat Amina was peaceful and jubilant. It was as if the sweet smiles of her lovely child were helping her to forget a tinge of the intense pain that she felt over her husband’s death. Her child was her only consolation that secured her hope for the future.
The fortunate Amina could only suckle her glorious child for a week. After this, Abu Lahab’s handmaiden, Lady Suwayba became the wet nurse of the Master of the Universe and suckled him for days.
Before that, Lady Suwayba had nourished Hazrat Hamza. In this way, she had attained the fortune and honor of being the means of joining the Holy Prophet (PBUH) and his esteemed uncle as foster brothers.
The Master of the Universe (PBUH), who possessed such virtue and feelings of faithfulness, never forgot the smallest favors that people did for him, nor did he leave them unrequited. Throughout his entire life, he never forgot Lady Suwayba who nourished him for a period of time. He would frequently visit her and would always show her kindness, respect, and pay her compliments.
Yes, faithfulness was the foundation of good manners that the Holy Prophet (PBUH) brought to the face of the Earth. The smallest trace of ingratitude cannot be found in the immaculate and upright life of our Beloved Messenger (PBUH).
At one point in time, Hazrat Khadija, who had taken lessons from the Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) virtue and gratitude, wanted to purchase Lady Suwayba, who would frequently visit Hazrat Khadija’s home, for the purpose of setting her free; however, Abu Lahab did not lend himself to this idea. It was not until after the Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) migration to Medina that Abu Lahab freed Lady Suwayba on his own.
Abu Lahab was our Holy Prophet ‘s (PBUH) own paternal uncle. Afterward, he did not testify and admit to the Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) Prophethood; he did not forsake being a pagan and did not refrain from his attempts in being our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) biggest enemy, either. For this reason, he incurred the wrath of Allah and did not earn a value that is equivalent to the nail of his slave, Lady Suwayba. In fact, it has been explained that because of Lady Suwayba, Abu Lahab has obtained a driblet of grace in the afterlife.
After his death, he was seen in a dream where he was found screaming in the severe punishment of hell. They asked him: “Why are you screaming? What is the matter?”
He answered: “What else could be the matter? The absence of water is making me burn! I never saw any good in my life, yet I did find one fortune: Because I set the woman, who nourished Muhammad, free, I have been spared the opportunity to absorb water and be watered” and as he said this, he showed his index finger (the finger that testifies faith).
This incident is certainly a case in point. A ferocious enemy of Islam, like Abu Lahab, who did not refrain from oppressing, torturing, and insulting the Master of the Universe throughout his entire life, was the recipient of such beneficence and grace and a tinge of his punishment in hell was alleviated. This means that best done not only upon our Beloved Messenger PBUH but also upon those who have served him, is also not left unrequited by God Almighty’s grace and beneficence.
In addition, one should think of the greatness in gifts, favors, and Divine endowments of the eternal realm that are awaiting those who have made the Master of the Universe (PBUH) their absolute imam and guide in every matter and the true believers who have felt honored to uphold his Sunnah on the Earth.
The Custom of Giving Babies to Wet Nurses
Mecca’s weather was hot and muggy. It did was not good for the children’s delicate nature and was not a favorable condition for a healthy upbringing. In the desert, the weather was nice, the water was sweet and clean, life was easy, and the climate was mild. Besides, some of the tribes that lived in the desert had a language and diction that was smooth and sharp. They maintained their nobility and practiced good conduct.
Based on this, the Qurayshi gentry and leading figures practiced the custom of handing their children over to the tribal women in the desert to be breastfed for a cost, so that their children could grow and be brought up under healthier conditions and to learn and speak a dialect of Arabic that was appropriate in its essential form. The child would remain with his/her wet nurse for 2-3 years, and sometimes even more.
For this reason, many tribes that lived in the uplands/prairies, Sa’d bin Bakr’s tribe in particular, would have a caravan of women go to Mecca a few times a year in which the women would take the newly-born infants with them to their homeland for the purpose of nourishment.
Among the tribes in the vicinity of Mecca, Sa’d bin Bakr’s tribe was the one that had acquired fame since it was distinguished for its honor, generosity, chivalry, humility, and speaking Arabic properly. For this reason, the leading figures of Quraysh mostly wanted to hand the custody of their children over to the women of this tribe.
The Arrival of the Women from Bani Bakr’s Tribe to Mecca
The Holy Prophet (PBUH) was being nourished by Lady Suwayba.
At that time, a strong drought was prevalent in the homeland of Sad’s sons although such a strong drought had not occurred till then. The drought resulted in a famine that left the tribal community poor and miserable. It was so bad that they had difficulty finding something to eat. Their camels and sheep had weakened and their milk had ceased.
During this year of intense famine and drought, the tribeswomen of the Bani Bakr had gone to Mecca in a crowded procession with the intention of finding a child to nourish and of obtaining a portion of their livelihood.
All of the women, with the exception of one extraordinary lady, had chosen a child who was appropriate for them. Strangely enough, none of them chose nor approached our Beloved Messenger (PBUH) because they thought they would not be able to obtain much money and help since he was an orphan.
There was only one woman who arrived late in Mecca. She was distinguished among her tribe for her decency, cleanliness, gentleness, and modesty. Due to their old and frail donkey, Halima and her husband had fallen behind the rest of the procession. When they entered Mecca, all of the newly-born Qurayshi children, with the exception of one very extraordinary infant, had been chosen by the women of the Bani Bakr tribe that were at the forefront. With the fate and wisdom of the Possessor of the Absolute Power, Halima could not find anyone in need of nourishment.
Her husband, Harith, was sad, too. All of their friends shared the children of wealthy families among themselves. She was the only one who was left empty-handed and it was only because she arrived late.
This virtuous woman, who now had a pale and sad countenance and was unaware of the plan that Divine fate had drawn for her, wandered the streets of Mecca with despair and the distress of not being able to find an appropriately fitting child.
Incidentally, she encountered an old man with a friendly face and who, through his presence, summoned the respect of his surroundings. This individual was Abdulmuttalib, the grandfather of the Master of the Universe (PBUH). They looked at each other as if they had been looking to become the relief for their troubles. Then they began to engage in conversation:
Abdulmuttalib asked, “Where are you from?”
Halima: “I am a woman from the Bani Sa’d Tribe” (Sons of Fortune/Luck)
Abdulmuttalib: “What is your name?”
She answered, “Halima”.
Abdulmuttalib: “How wonderful! How wonderful! Fortune and gentleness are two traits that carry the beneficence of this world and the honor and glory of the afterlife” After he said this, Abdulmuttalib took a deep breath and followed with: “Oh, Halima! I have an orphaned child next to me. I offered him to the women of the Sons of Sa’d but they did not accept him. Come and be the wet nurse of this child. Maybe you will attain prosperity, wealth, and fortune for taking care of him”.
At first, Halima became hesitant upon hearing this unexpected offer. However, she did not want to return to her homeland empty-handed. For this reason, she overcame her hesitation and accepted the offer from within. Nevertheless, she did not want to disclose her answer without first asking and receiving permission from her husband. She immediately returned to her husband and after she explained everything to him she said, “I was unable to find a child to nourish. I do not favor going back empty-handed among my friends. By God, I am going to take that orphan”.
Her husband, Harith, supported her view and said, “There is no harm in taking him. Perhaps Allah will endow us with prosperity and blessings thanks to him”.
Upon this, they returned to Abdulmuttalib.
Abdulmuttalib took Halima to Hazrat Amina’s modest home which the Beloved Prophet (PBUH) illuminated.
Halima went to our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) bedside. Our lovely Master (PBUH) was wrapped in a white fabric made from wool and was sleeping soundly on a blanket of green yarn. The surrounding smelled like musk!
Halima was in a state of amazement. She immediately warmed up to this child so much that she could not bear to wake him up!
The cloud of gloom and anguish had left Halima. She was so happy that it was as if she was walking on air. It was such a great bliss to have suddenly come across an infant of excessive beauty after squirming in the distress of not being able to find a child.
Halima could not resist anymore. She neared the Master of the Universe’s (PBUH) bedside very closely and slightly lifted the corner of his blanket. With a mother’s love and compassion, she kissed his forehead and hands that smelled like roses and that were softer than cotton and as white as snow.
At that moment, our Holy Prophet (PBUH) opened his eyes and replied to Halima’s kisses with a sweet smile. They got along with one another.
While one of them was in despair because of not being able to find a child, worn out, and downhearted, the other was a radiant orphan who had been rejected by the women. Fate had filled both of their worlds with happiness.
The First Abundance
Our lovely Master (PBUH), who had captivated Halima’s heart, was now in her arms.
Yet, what was this? The breasts that had lacked milk for days were immediately filled with milk as soon as our Holy Prophet (PBUH) began to suck from them.
Halima was surprised and her husband, Harith, was in a state of amazement.
Her right nipple was in our Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) mouth and her left nipple was in the mouth of his new foster brother, Abdullah, who was Halima’s son. From then on, the Holy Prophet (PBUH) would always drink from the right breast.
The Camel’s Breasts were filled with Milk
Halima was not willing to put the radiant orphan (PBUH) down from her lap for one second. They immediately bid their farewells to Abdulmuttalib and Hazrat Amina and departed from Mecca.
Teardrops were combined with Amina’s sadness. She had virtually become a cloud as she followed her radiant child.
That night, the Harith family had a peaceful sleep outside Mecca. When the morning came, Harith ran to milk their camels. Every nipple he touched had become a fountain of milk. He called out to Halima in amazement: “Oh Halima, know that you have taken a very holy and auspicious child!”
Halima affirmed her husband’s statement: “By God, I hope he is” (5).
Mecca was left behind.
Halima was riding on a female donkey and had the Master of the Universe (PBUH) in her arms. What happened to the weak, frail donkey that had fallen behind her friends? Where did this speed and steadiness come from? It was as if she was not the same donkey that Halima rode on her way to Mecca.
When she passed and left all the animals in the procession behind, Halima’s traveling companions were surprised and asked with astonishment, “Oh, Abu Zuaib’s daughter, shame on you. Why do you not wait for us? Or is the donkey that you are riding not the same as the one that you rode when you first came?”
The donkey was the same donkey. The only difference was that there was someone else on her, and he was the Master of the Universe (PBUH). The honor of carrying him (PBUH) had exhilarated that weak and frail animal.
“No, by God she is the same donkey; in fact, I’m not directing her. She is going steadily on her own. There is something strange about this”. (6)
It was a shame that nobody from the procession was able to discern the reason for this difference and from where it came.
Yes, all of these occurrences were open proofs that this radiant-faced infant (PBUH) would embrace the future with his grandeur!
Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) in the Homeland of the Sons of Sa’d
Halima and her husband returned to their homeland after these peculiar occurrences.
Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) would now remain in the land of the Sons of Sa’d.
At that time, intense drought and famine were prevalent in the area. The soil’s abundance had been cut-off, the wells and fountains did not have water, faces were pale, and the animals did not have the strength to stand on their feet.
However, the view suddenly changed when the Holy Prophet (PBUH) arrived. Before his arrival, the animals were not able to find any grasses to eat but now they were filled to repletion. Their breasts were overflowing with milk and like a fountain of mercy, they were pouring it continuously. There were no longer any pale faces in Halima’s home.
The other inhabitants of the area were still experiencing a famine and were continuing to suffer in a circle of hardship. Their animals were still frail, weak, and did not provide adequate milk.
It was as if those who did not accept our Holy Prophet (PBUH) for being an “orphan” were being punished by having to remain in deprivation.
The upland folk was about to burst from curiosity when they saw this situation before their eyes. They could not understand what they saw. They were blaming their shepherds and were scolding them: “How do Halima’s sheep get full? As they walk, milk continuously drops from their nipples. Who knows where she is grazing her sheep? Why do you not go to the place where she goes and grazes your sheep there!?”
The shepherds knew for certain that their employers were being unfair in blaming them. The place where Halima was grazing her sheep was no different from where they were grazing theirs. For this reason, the shepherds were disputing this, however, their objections made no difference. This time, their employers added:
“Very well, how is it that while the sheep in your herd are having difficulty carrying themselves due to starvation, hers are being satiated and are returning with milk-filled breasts?”
Neither the shepherds nor their employers were able to find the answer to this question. All they could do was look at one another with wonder and bewilderment.
However, there was a reason for this and at that time, nobody other than Hazrat Halima and her husband knew what it was. When the shepherds came and asked what the reason was, Halima gave them this answer:
“By God, this is not about pasture or grass. This work is one of the many secrets of the Lord. Everything began on our return from Mecca!”
Of course, the shepherds were not able to understand much from these words; thus, they were unable to get rid of their curiosity.
This was the secret that the prairie folk were unable to conceive:
Since Halima had displayed generosity in accepting our Holy Prophet (PBUH), who is the most beloved to the Possessor of the Universe, Allah, her household was generously being endowed with gifts from His mercy.
Halima and her husband were very well aware of this and for that reason, they looked at this radiant infant in a different light. So to speak, they would protect him from a flying bird and the rising sun as they fluttered around him with great love and care.
The Prophet ﷺ advised those going through great stress and difficulty to make the following du'a:
اللَّهُمَّ رَحْمَتَكَ أَرْجُو فَلَا تَكِلْنِي إِلَى نَفْسِي طَرْفَةَ عَيْنٍ، وَأَصْلِحْ لِي شَأْنِي كُلَّهُ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ
"Ya Allah, it is Your Mercy I hope for. Don't leave me to my own desires for even the blink of an eye. Rectify all my affairs. There is no God but You."
(Allahumma rahmataka arju falaa takilni ilaa nafsi tarfata 'ayn, wa asslih li sha'ni kullahu, laa ilaha illa anta) - Abu Dawud 5090, Hasan.
Reflect on how when things get tough, the solution *starts* by reviving one's iman: calling upon our Creator alone and declaring that He's the only One truly worth it as well, jalla wa 'ala.
Ya Allah, accept our du'a. Ameen.
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للَّهُمَّ أَنْتَ حَسَّنْتَ خَلْقِي فَحَسِّنْ خُلُقِي
Transliteration: Allahuma anta hassanata khalqi fahassin khuluqi
Translation: O Allah, just as You have made my external features beautiful, make my character beautiful as well
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7 Simple Ways To Say “No”
1. “I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment.” This lets the person know your plate is full at the moment.
2. “Now’s not a good time as I’m in the middle of something. How about we reconnect at X time?” This lets the person know it’s not a good time. However, you also convey your desire to help by suggesting another time (at your convenience). This way, the person doesn’t feel blown off.
3. “I’d love to do this, but …” This is a gentle way of saying no. It’s encouraging as it lets the person know you like the idea but I can’t take part due to other reasons, such as prior commitments.
4. “Let me think about it first and I’ll get back to you.” This is more like a “Maybe” than a straight out “No”. If you are interested but you don’t want to say ‘yes’ just yet, use this.
5. “This doesn’t fit with what I’m looking for now - but I’ll keep you in mind.” Sometimes it is just best to turn the person/ offer down. Otherwise, the discussion can drag on and on.
6. “I’m not the best person to help on this. Why don’t you try X?” Again, sometimes it is best to say you’re the wrong person to help etc. If possible, refer them to a lead they can follow-up on instead.
7. “No, I can’t.” The simplest and most direct way to say no.
Source: http://zenhabits.net/say-no/ (Abridged)
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Quran calligraphy – 4:29
إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِكُمْ رَحِيمًا
Truly, God is toward you, merciful.
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Loaded Cauliflower Casserole
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