Azune I have become quite fond of you in these recent episodes ✨🥲
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@guessimherenow
Azune I have become quite fond of you in these recent episodes ✨🥲
I don’t think Azune is a psychopath. I just think he isn’t good at regulating his emotions. He is probably picking his words carefully to get a curated response to try and influence an outcome, but I don’t think he’s willing to bend arms and break bones to get his way. Vindictive? Yeah. Petty? Maybe.
When Azune first saw Teor and Kattigan, he immediately puffed out his chest and stood taller to look like a man as opposed to the young boy they remember. Luis’ own description of that moment was along the lines of “two people I’ve tried to emulate as.” Seems for the longest time Azune is just used to being passed around and appearing as whatever others expect.
Murray isn’t Teor and Katt. Her relationship with Azune is very mentorship based. She’s a Professor who taught this guy his first magic lessons and he taught her some fighting. Transactional. Murray has consistently referred to Azune as “my boy” so she clearly sees him in a protective manner, someone younger, someone beneath her years of life and experience to guide. So it makes sense Azune would go to Murray and allow himself to break down and cry and try to have a moment of vulnerability. However, I don’t think Murray is that type of person.
Everything we’ve learned about Murray is conflicting. She’s a Mag’nesson with access to family name, but not that much money. Money they used to get from the gem mines, but they don’t mine gems anymore so what do they mine now? She tries to pass herself off as an old criminal contact to Pimley who calls her out on that attempt basically saying she’s lost the right to claim that status these days. She gets in a hoot about rich kids and the sundered houses but she also tells Thaisha she’s money just not “as rich” comparatively. Murray went from working with her cousin to building a school and tracking the funds for it for some odd 25? years. Marisha also claims Murray had a bit of a “ho phase” in her years, partnered with her saying the whole ‘love flies out the door when money leaves’ type thing she likely hasn’t allowed herself to have emotional romantic relationships and has kept things strictly physical. All this adds up that Murray is a go-getter unwilling to settle and slow down and not wait for other people to get what she wants. She seems to be moving from one thing to the next all to better herself and position in life. She is definitely transactional. Anything to get the job done. And maybe that’s why Thjazi relied on her. He knew she could set emotions aside to do the real work and get the job done. Murray keeps herself busy the same way Thimble keeps flying. It’s a coping mechanism for something we don’t know yet.
I think we see a deeper truth of Murray when Azune picked her of all people to go to and confess in a break down about how he feels. He probably expected that soft mentorship touch, maybe not as soft as Hal’s fatherly presence, or maybe he subconsciously picked the person who wouldn’t let him break right now. That whole awkward moment really does come down to that Azune isn’t reading Murray properly at all. How could he? They don’t know each other personally, on a private life/behind closed doors level of closeness. None of them know where he lives or eats or who he hangs out with. Which means Murray’s dynamic with Azune has been transactional and work based this entire time, whereas he probably thought it was more, something on a personally friendly-family level where they could be real and messy with their imperfect emotions. Azune is tired, emotionally exhausted of having to pretend he’s fine, he is desperately trying to reach others for a deeper connection and is unfortunately hitting emotional brick walls. So Murray’s “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” mentality patched things for now but doesn’t fix the root problem.
Azune didn’t go to Hal because Hal already told him to do better tomorrow. Azune isn’t certain he has a tomorrow. He didn’t go to the two men he emulates for comfort because he sees them as strong, so he refuses to let them see him break down and maybe look weak. He didn’t go to Bolaire because Bolaire self identifies as a thing and not a person, things don’t panic so Bolaire can’t relate to Azune.
Then he turned to Occtis. He asked for help, threw out an idea (the same way Occtis pitched theories and hypotheticals during Seeker’s arc), got told no and immediately respected boundaries because Occtis made it clear that was a boundary.
The biggest problem with Azune is that he’s deeply reflective of whoever he is with, which is fine for surviving war, but not the best for interpersonal dynamics and friendships which he clearly craves and desperately needs. He doesn’t know who he is. How can he be whoever Azune Nayar is when he’s spent the entirety of his life mimicking other people? This boy needs emotional enrichment, someone who will actually talk things out with him instead of telling him what to do. Yeah, he’s 27/28 and a grown adult with his own bachelor pad, but emotionally he’s stunted and lost at sea. He wants to be soft, but there’s no one around he can mimic that from.
Until Thaisha hugged him.
Long may he reign !! 👑✨💜
Print available in my shop !
may i offer you one of the episode's hugs as a quick sketch (more are coming)
protecting the angel 🙏😇
azune’s face as gus says “I’m not the wife-taking type.”,,, I am YELLING
still can’t believe how long it took me to realize dol-makjar is just “doll-maker” a little to the left.
you know. Because Brennan “left dropout” to be a doll maker
there has always been something wrong with you.
Azune Nayar. I think Occtis shall be next, unless there are any requests, let me know!
I walk a very dangerous road that is going to be caught between my nature and my lot in life.
“Yes. Well, in this wonderful house owned by a great man, in the shadow of the death of another man, I humbly ask for protection, shelter, friendship, loyalty, love, and I don’t know where to go or what to do.
I don’t have anyone and I’m very scared and could somebody take care of me for a while?”
- Wicander Halovar, 4x03
Another thought about Azune’s breakdown: he seems aware that there’s a good chance he might be killed if things go to shit with Einfasen, and is trying to prepare for this by asking Thimble to remember him as (what he believes to be) a better version of himself. That seems to be the core of his distress, his potential death and the loss of who he used to be.
But wait! Azune was already prepared to die just a couple weeks ago for Thjazi. He didn’t tell anyone about it, and didn’t break down until his self sacrifice fell apart. So why is he so torn up about possibly sacrificing his life now? What changed?
MAYALI. Mayali is the reason why everything was turned on its head. Before, he could accept dying for Thjazi and the cause. That was all he was living for. That was the entirety of his identity.
But now he knows his sister is alive, and out there somewhere. Suddenly he has something else to live for beyond Thjazi and his mission: getting Mayali back. Giving your life when you feel you have nothing to lose is one thing. But when you have family and loved ones? That changes things. He doesn’t want to die now. He doesn’t want to be the person he shaped himself into for Thjazi. He wants to be Mayali’s little brother. He wants his sister back, and he can’t get her back if he dies now.
me: *laying on couch while my lunch for tomorrow is heating up*
toaster oven: *goes off*
me: ugh. i don’t wanna get up. (jokingly) Pallando, go get that
Pallando: *gets up*
Pallando: *goes to kitchen*
me: ????????
Pallando: *returns with piggy*
me: jesus christ, man
Pallando: :)🐷
^man who thinks he absolutely nailed the assignment
someone get this man some ice cream
based on how Everything is going with how Robbie is playing Kattigan’s ability to lie surely a brave soul out there will someday make a compilation of Kattigan absolutely just shitting the bed when asked to lie, right. Please. Right?????????
what cheeses me most about Yanessa’s (attempted) last-minute insertion of the Light into Hal’s play is her excuse that it’s necessary to prevent the tragedy about a failed rebellion against Azgra from just being a tragedy. Bitch (magnificent), the tragedy is subverted by the fact that they’re putting on the play, as a triumphant and prosperous people 70 years after killing Azgra! The rebels will die, Azgra will give a gloating speech, maybe an ancestral Lloy will bow to him while glancing directly at the fourth wall, and then the actors will all get up and take their bows! You think Halandil Fang would open his much-sought-after theater with a simple tragedy about a failed rebellion against the god whose conceptual corpse he is treading upon these boards? Halandil Fang, brother of a legendary rebel, lover of a Lloy druid of the Old Path? (Yanessa doesn’t, of course; it’s just an excuse.) I’d even bet the play Kother’ai pre-dates the Shapers War in some form—Azgra seems like the sort of guy who’d enjoy forcing his slaves to perform pantomimes of his victories against them—and Hal rewrote it, or at least used it as a recognizable template. Because orcs make art, now, their own art! That’s the triumph from the tragedy!
what also gets me about azune's conversation with murray is when murray says something along the lines of 'we just rescued demodus from the snake pit, i will not let him go back again'. and that strikes me as a particularly, if unintentionally, cruel thing to say in azune's hearing, because azune was rescued from certain death by thjazi and was then allowed to go into his potential death immediately after. thjazi saw this twelve-year-old kid alone on a roadside and saved him from death by hunger or exposure, but azune still stepped onto the battlefield when he was only fifteen years old.
and demodus is young, yes, but he's not a kid. he's twenty-two. and he has someone fiercely advocating for his safety, while azune spent years and years as thjazi's soldier for that one kindness of rescuing him. and i have very complicated feelings about thjazi fang and his actions and the way he treated people, but we do learn in this episode that thimble was aware of everything azune was doing for thjazi, and she still doesn't know where he lives. what awaits him when he comes home.
demodus has murray to advocate for him. azune had thjazi fang, and i have to wonder just how much worse that was in comparison.