sungho x fem!reader (ft. mild instigator!taesan and mistaken!woonhak)
GENRE: pure unedited fluff!
SUMMARY: Sungho keeps avoiding you... so why is he confessing to you in Japanese?
WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used one time | highschool!au but you can ignore that most of the time | this is my world and overtly self-insert so reader doesn't speak japanese and takes chinese in school
NOTES: everyone say thank you boynextdoor for the fantastic comeback! seriously though, all their songs are so good i cant even believe it also no proofreading we post like god intended.
WC: 2.2k (woww)
It was all Woonhak’s fault—that’s what Sungho thought, at least. He set up the damned snowball fight after all.
The first time you saw—really saw—Sungho was when you cast a snowball at him and the icy contents landed right in his face and froze him when they snuck through his coat down his neck. You’re not sure why he didn’t block it, you saw him evade others thrown with far less warning and far more force. Instead, he stood with a ready snowball in his gloved hand. That’s the problem—he stood. He just stared at you as your attack wet his brown hair and dropped between his collar and his neck. You had met Sungho a handful of times, but when you did you didn’t speak to him much at all. He was kind of quiet and there were plenty of other mutual friends around for you to chat with, so you didn’t press it. He was pretty, of course, but that alone wasn’t enough for you to individually pursue him. Plus, anytime you showed up it’s like he suddenly had somewhere else to be. You eventually assumed he just didn’t like you all that much, and that was fine. A little disappointing, but fine. After your attack, his expression didn’t change, save for his eyebrows which raised a little. The poor boy looked like he had seen a ghost. You would have put more thought into it if another friend of yours, Taesan, cruelly dared you to a fire—or, snow—fight by crashing an icy cold ball of snow right onto your head. Almost as fast as Sungho had come to the front of your conscious, you were taken away again. The image of him, however, was burned into your mind. Why did he look at you like that? Why did he not react? How did he look so perfect? Those were some pretty frequent thoughts, though the last one you tried to ignore. Regardless, it kept coming back. The image of his soft brown hair, long for the boys your age, sprinkled with snow and his surprised, slightly parted lips came to you at the most inconvenient times.
—
The second time you saw Sungho, he was sitting on an uncomfortable plastic chair on the slightly raised wooden stage of your auditorium, his navy guitar slotted in his hands, about to start another song to the cheers of the small audience that had gathered during their free period. You remember him prefacing the song with something along the lines of ‘this is a work-in-progress,’ he tsked, ‘so it’s not done yet, but I hope you like it so far.’ You join the group on the periphery, smiling and nodding along to the song he starts. His voice rings clear around the room as he strums the hook. His hair falls just over his eyes that close when he starts singing the lyrics. You shoo away the thought that tells you he looks handsome—really handsome, especially in his element with the music swirling around him. It makes no sense, but when you look at him you want to talk to him. You want to ask him what inspired him to write it, you want to ask him how he got into music, you want to ask him. The song is heartfelt throughout, but the lyric that sticks with you is ‘yeah, I’ve got it bad,’ because that’s the line that preceded the chorus, the tentative chorus in which he critically screwed up when he saw you. You swear it was like his brain stopped for a minute when he saw you swaying along. Wrong chord, wrong lyric, wrong chord, again. You could feel the glances being exchanged by the confused crowd. After he tore his eyes away from you, he barely got it together for the end of the in-progress work. You looked to Woonhak, a few people to your left, and he just shrugged. The song was good, but still, you couldn’t quite figure out what was up with Sungho.
—
The third time you saw Sungho, you barely saw him at all. This was because of the open door, the paper thin walls of your classroom, and Sungho’s loud voice that fills whatever space he’s in. You infer that that’s how he is normally—‘normally’ meaning specifically not around you. It’s beneficial here, though. You were mercifully sitting against the interior wall and took the golden opportunity to rest your head and take a break from thinking so hard about… well, lots of things. Classes, new collectables, what you were going to have for dinner, you know what it’s like. It was Taesan’s, not Sungho’s, voice that broke you from your cursory peace. Taesan’s voice is certainly loud, especially when he’s surprised.
“You’re joking!” Taesan said and was quickly shushed by Sungho. It appeared to just be the two of them. It was strange—you were friends with most of Sungho’s friends, but barely friends with Sungho himself at all.
“Quiet down! I’m not kidding.” Sungho groaned, and you heard a clunk against the wall your ear was against, so you assumed he was leaning too. “This is just what I’m like, I don’t know what to do at all. I’ve got it really bad.” Taesan laughed at his friend’s complaint. It’s funny, that line was almost the same thing he said in the song. “It’s not funny.” He sighed. He was scolding Taesan, but you feel yourself frown as if he could hear your thoughts about his recurring phrase.
“It’s a little funny.” Taesan presses him. Sungho does not sound like he thinks it's funny.
“I’m being serious, Taesan. She’s all I ever want to think about.” Your ears perk up at the mention of a pronoun. Sungho has a crush? That’s news to you, at least. You mean, maybe it could be something else, but it damn sounds like he has a crush. This makes your heart twist in a way that you are highly uncomfortable with. “Everything's a mess, I’m all over the place. I can’t figure this… this thing out.” He laments. You kind of get it, though. Something you don’t get, however, is the way you hope he doesn’t figure it out. The part you refused to think about was that you didn’t want him to like someone else. God, you hadn’t even spoken to this boy. This is pathetic. You tore your ear away from the wall and covered your ears. Out of sight—or, earshot—out of mind, that’s how it works right? Apparently not, because even after you can’t hear him and that moment gets farther in the past, you think about him. Why can’t you stop thinking about him? This is so stupid.
—
The Friday that Sungho came to school late with his hair sticking up and wearing wrinkled clothes was, counterintuitively, the day you found him the most attractive yet. He sat down after whispering a hushed apology to your frowning teacher. He wasn’t even wearing his contacts, and he always wore his contacts. His glasses framed his face nicely, you decided. You looked back down at your paper as quickly as you looked up at the latecomer entering your classroom. It was hard to focus on your work for the rest of the day. In your Mandarin class, you bombed your quiz. How do you even write that character? You had no idea. All of the sudden, ‘高’ only made you think of Sungho and his stupid broad shoulders and not at all if there’s a hook at the bottom or not. Damn you, Sungho! You got what he meant by the lyrics in the song he had played in the auditorium. You got it bad. As you glanced out the window, you saw the very beginning of the budding cherry blossoms. They look so happy, all bunched up together and starting to bloom in hues of soft pink.
They look the same as you exit from the main door, pink and falling and beautiful. You pause outside those doors, taking in the sight. The trees are pretty, even against the gray sky. You feel more like the gray sky, conflicted. Especially so because you heard Sungho tell Taesan that he “couldn’t take it anymore,” and was “going to tell her today.” That certainly dampened your mood. Not that you have any skin in the game, but you secretly hope that he finds a reason not to.
You hear a commotion near the doors, and see Sungho rather unceremoniously shoved out of the door by, by the looks of it, more than one set of arms. He looks like a deer in headlights, but starts moving anyway. You watch him, puzzled, before he starts walking over… to you. Behind him, you see Woonhak’s face poke out of the door frame before he looks to be pulled back by someone. You turn your attention back to Sungho, and realize you weren’t mistaken at all. He was walking towards you, holding something behind his back. A slight smile plays on his nervous lips as he closes the remaining distance between you, and you can’t help but glance around to see if this is some kind of joke. He was “going to tell her today.” Is he serious? Are you dreaming?
“What is it?” You ask, though you’re not quite sure why you’re asking or what you hope the answer is. He says nothing, simply extending a hand from behind his back and presenting you with a neatly folded piece of white printer paper. The ink on the inside bled through, slightly visible on the back.
“Aishiteru. Open it.” He encourages you and rolls his bottom lip in his teeth. You had watched him long enough—not in a stalkerish way! Just… in the way that you like looking at his face—to know that this is the face he makes solving a difficult equation. You also know enough about Japanese to recognize the romantic nature of his initial phrase. Why the hell is he speaking to you in Japanese? Regardless, if you weren’t blushing already, you definitely felt heat creeping up to your cheeks now. Doing as he instructs, you gingerly open the folded paper like it’s an artifact that could disintegrate if you so much as touched the paper the wrong way.
It doesn’t disintegrate, but it might as well have. You stare at what’s written with a blank face. You recognize every other character (your Chinese teacher would be proud), but this is definitely not Chinese. You do recognize the swirling nature of what’s written, however. You furrow your eyebrows, why the hell does Sungho think you speak Japanese? Why is he writing to you in Chinese? Now you’re more confused than nervous. The butterflies in your stomach have settled, evidently asking the same questions you are.
“Sungho,” his name isn’t a question, but it comes out sounding like one, “I can’t read Japanese.” You hold up the paper to him as if he didn’t know it was in Japanese, and he looks absolutely petrified as your words hit him.
“Really?” His voice comes out high-pitched, and he clears his throat. “I mean, you actually don’t speak Japanese?” His register is back to normal, and now he sounds just as confused as you.
“I take Chinese, who told you I take Japanese? What does this even say, anyway?” A smile tugs at your lips. Oh, Sungho. He’s not stupid, you don’t think, maybe it was Woonhak who told him. Woonhak could probably mistake Chinese for Japanese. It could’ve been Jaehyun.
He groans, “Woonhak did.” This satisfies the first part of your question, but he seems hesitant to answer the second part. You raise your eyebrows, prompting him, “well, this is super lame,” what you don’t know is that he internally curses himself, Taesan had told him ‘no self-deprecating statements,’ oops, “but I thought it would make the way I told you unique.”
“Told me what?” You cock your head. The butterflies are back. Thanks to Taesan, you have a sneaking suspicion of what it is, but you refuse to celebrate until you get confirmation. It’s like in debate (your friend had told you way too much), you can think you won the most rounds but you can’t say you won anything until you’re officially told so. It’s like that.
I love you! 愛してる! 사랑해!
“I like you. I like you a lot. I’ve got it really bad.” He smiles and you think your heart might melt or explode, you’re not sure which feels more imminent. You’ve been told you won. It’s like a big weight has been lifted. The cherry blossoms look pinker.
“That’s what you wrote in the song!” You remember, hoping that he’ll be impressed you were paying attention.
“Yeah,” he says sheepishly, rubbing his neck, “that was about you.” It might be the best sight you’ve ever seen. This kind, handsome boy telling you he wrote a whole song about you. “It’s finished now, I can play it if you want… is that embarrassing?” He’s asking for reassurance, and, oh, do you give him reassurance. Reassurance comes in the form of putting your arms around him. Actions speak better than words—that’s your reasoning, at least.
“That’s not embarrassing. That’s cute.” You tell him, though your words are slightly muffled since you’re not speaking directly to him anymore. The butterflies in your stomach cheer you on as you muster all the courage you can find in the deep crevices of your heart and mind, “I like you too, Sungho.” You tell him, and you can hear his heart beating through his coat.
FINAL NOTES: yippee!!! going to a debate tournament wont post for a few days love you mwah
genre : tags. fluff, childhood crush, class clown x class president
pairing. high school classmate!woonhak x gn!reader
wordcount. 1110
a/n. we are so back!! i hope y’all like this. idk how often ill be writing here cause school but feedback is always appreciated as usual.
@onedoornet
It was time for english class, one of the few classes you enjoyed, and yet you weren’t rushing in the same direction as your classmates. The echoing siren of the school bell resounded through the halls around you as you stared at your hand firmly locked in his grip, letting the force pulling you forward drag you along further.
With the sudden silence in the air, you brought your feet to a stop and pulled your hand out of his. Honestly, you wanted to yell at him but that would only put you in more trouble. You stood face to face in the stairwell, while you kept your eyebrows furrowed with a slight pout in your lips, he couldn’t help but smile at his accomplishment.
Before you could turn your back to make your way back to your class, his hand met yours once again. Now all your face reflected was worry. You glanced at your hands watching as his fingers slipped in between your fingers, holding onto you.
“Trust me” you looked up at him with the sound of those words, he smiled softly, the same smile you had seen throughout your school years, and somehow this time it felt different.
You gave him a quick nod, pushing all your anxious thoughts behind and letting him guide you into his world, the same way you had done for him.
Once you finally reached the storage room you felt his grip loosen, and through it seemed like the normal thing to do, you felt it in your chest like a stab in your heart. The more you tried to act like you weren’t thinking about it, as you watched him move things around, trying to unlock the window as quickly as possible, the more you found yourself realizing that you didn’t just like the feeling of his hand squeezing your knuckles.
Tutoring the Kim Woonhak wasn’t a good nor a bad thing, he wasn’t a lost cause but he wasn’t interested either. Most days you’d stay behind in class together, he’d have his seat backwards while facing you, then he’d ask about your day, and it never stopped there. With all the preparations you had done, mentally and concretely, he would always find a way to make you talk, and you never really wanted to stop because you never really got to talk anywhere else.
“You know, you have a really soothing voice. Like whenever you’re called up to read out I try to stay awake just to listen to you.” he said that once, while you were lecturing him on pronunciation. You stared at him for a while after that, a mix of embarrassment and relief bubbling in your belly.
The only constant would be the work you would give him to have done for the next session, which he always did, you would let him talk to you while you corrected his answers. You weren’t sure how you got to the point of skipping class with him but that was where you were now.
Did it even make sense to fall for your classmate on the last day of high school? You shook the idea out of your head, you lost your chance, if you ever had one to begin with.
“I’m going to go first, it’ll be easier to help you out from outside.” he told you as you stood by the half open window, he could see your weariness and placed a hand on your head patting gently.
“Do we have to do this?”
“Of course not, but where’s the fun in that?” You hadn’t realized you were holding on to the corner of his shirt till he took your hand off gently, holding onto it carefully, “I promise you’ll feel better once this part is over.”
So you watched him climb out the window, keeping guard incase of any trouble. Before you knew it he was out and it was your turn.
“Be careful y/n. Don’t worry too much if you fall I’ll catch you.” He tried to keep his voice down while yelling these words at you, somewhat reassuring words that helped you put your foot out.
You were a lot slower than he was and he was a lot more patient than you were, the wall wasn’t incredibly tall but you couldn’t shake your fears away so easily. His voice kept you grounded, indications on where you could put your hands to get lower. Soon enough you felt his hand on your leg guiding you and you were able to relax.
“I got you, you can let go.” He held on to the back on your knees and your back, you followed his instructions, keeping your eyes shut, and ended up in his arms.
The moment you opened your eyes, you were met with his face, closer than you expected, closer than he has ever been to you. You turned your gaze away hoping he would put you down, and you could just ignore it, but he doesn’t so you look at him again.
Your wide eyes, lips slightly open, eyebrows confusedly furrowed only made him amused, while your heart pounded louder in your chest each time his eyes would land on your lips.
It was embarrassing. You turned your head away, tapping on his arm for him to put you down.
As soon as you felt your feet on the ground, you created some distance between the two of you walking a few steps further from him. You let him hand you your bag while maintaining the space, trying to avoid his obvious staring at the same time.
His hand suddenly wrapped around your wrist, pulling you back to his side. You tried to release yourself from his grip, struggling to break the bind.
“What are you doing?” He laughed watching you try to shake his hand off.
“…You’re too close.” You looked up at him hesitantly, you hated that his smile had any effects on you, but the more he looked at you flashing his perfectly shaped teeth, the more you wanted to just give in.
“You don’t want me close?” He titled his head, seeming almost offended.
You stared at him confused, he was teasing you, you thought as you glanced at the corner of his lips, curved up as it usually was whenever he made fun of you.
“Should I make it more obvious?” He asked as he leaned in closer. You felt an urge to back up, to look away, you were scared because you knew nothing of this. As his hand found it’s place at the back of your neck, you wondered to yourself. Had it been obvious this whole time?
genre : tags. fluff, exs to lovers, bsf to lovers, flashbacks, childhood friends, summer vacation, love triangle
pairing. bsf!leehan / ex!riwoo x gn!reader
wordcount. 9984
synopsis. Going back to your hometown feels so different now, unable to go back to the way things once were. You find yourself stuck between the love you once had and the possibility of a new love.
a/n. the second part of the past lives event. my longest fic omg. i've been working on it for a bit i really hope y'all like it. it's kinda inspired by love and other words so maybe you'll notice similarities but yeah. i enjoyed writing this so i hope you enjoy reading it and feedback pleasee i always need to improve and criticism is welcome.
@onedoornet
When you lived there you thought you would stay forever. Now everything had changed, and you were on a train going back home when you thought you would never come back.
There were so many reasons you grew to hate the town that you once loved so much, but the true reason you left to never come back was Lee Sanghyeok.
As you sat in the train you couldn’t help your brain traveling back to the town with all the memories it encapsulated, the love, the joy, all the feelings rushing back in all at once. The people you sat with were just as familiar, they had brought all those feelings into your new life, and helped you forget those memories you dreaded.
You had promised each other that if you passed your finals, you would take them to see your hometown. Often, you’d feel reminiscent of your childhood days, when you only had fun, when the damage hadn’t been done yet. You would tell them all about your childhood home, the seaside sunsets, all the flavours you tasted, all the sights you’d seen. So, they wanted to see it for themselves, and you agreed because there was always the chance of you failing, but you didn’t.
Now here you were, with your three closest friends taking the express train, on the verge of tears because it felt like so long, a whole year. Everything could change in a year; you had no idea where to place yourself. You were going home, why did it not feel that way? Beside you, Donghyun kept his eyes on you resting your head to the side gazing out the window, he knew you wouldn’t tell him your mind, but he could tell something was up.
He could see your frown in the reflection of the glass you stared through, watching the greens pass you by, your teeth pulling sharply on your bottom lip. You first felt his fingertips graze your wrist, then his hand slipped in yours, gentle brushes from his thumb on the back of your hand. One deep inhale, focusing your thoughts on the hand that was holding you, a gentle reminder that you wouldn’t be dealing with anything alone, you were so well surrounded.
A glance in his direction, his eyes were already on you, careful and attentive, he’d give you all his attention if that was what you needed. You were unsure how he did it, how he made you feel so safe with just a look, you could never truly feel worry when you were with him.
He nudged his shoulder for you to rest on, shifting closer to you in his seat for you to place your head in the space he saved for you, and you did, letting yourself soak in all the warmth he brought, enveloping you carefully in the safety of Kim Donghyun. Sometimes you wished he would make it harder for you to fall for him, it was truly the easiest thing, falling. But when it was the last thing you wanted it became a challenge.
You’d felt all this comfort in someone else, not so long ago, you loved everything you felt when you were with them so much that when you lost it, you promised yourself to rule out the feeling from your life completely, but then you met Donghyun. Your heart would play the same old melodies that you knew so well, you would look forward to his mindless touches, any contact felt right when he was the perpetrator. You wouldn’t give in completely, as much as you wanted to, as much as you pictured all the ideal ways these feelings could lead you, it was a risk you were not willing to take, not so soon.
Somehow you were fine with the idea of Sanghyeok being your first and last love.
It was impossible to guess at the time how much your first encounter would impact your lives, you were so young then, full of light and curiosity, you always aspired to know more, to dig deeper and understand better. That same curiosity could be the reason you met in the first place, the reason your relationship grew so much to the point of crashing down.
It was the youngest you could remember yourself. During a hot summer, where you would play outside often with other kids from the neighbourhood. You would play around the fountain splashing water on one another while one of their parents watched over you. They didn’t always watch close enough because you always ended up escaping the fun to roam around the small streets, looking for trinkets, coins and anything you could find to build your collection.
It was on one of those days that you saw him, sitting alone on a sidewalk fully occupied by the device he pressed repeatedly in his hands, not noticing your presence until you sat beside him, leaning in closer to get a peek at the fun. He took a quick glance at you before continuing his game, stretching his arms forward for you to see clearly the gameplay. You weren’t familiar with video games at the time, your leisure activities consisted of playing dolls, and swinging on monkey bars but this was life changing.
“You made me lose.” The words “game over” read on the dark screen, you turned to him with a slight frown wondering what happened to the magic on the screen. He simply handed you the device placing your fingers carefully on the right buttons.
“You have to press here and here,” pushing down your fingers pressing them against the buttons as he explained, “don’t stop, okay?” as you nodded, he pressed the start button, and you tried your best to replicate his instructions.
After a few presses, you found yourself in front of the same black screen with the words game over on it, you looked at him stunned by how quickly it ended, and he smiled taking his game back from you.
“You’re not very good.” He said getting up on his feet putting the game in his pocket, you blinked at him confused, how could he be any better he wasn’t even older than you? “Come back tomorrow, I’ll let you play more, okay?” And just like that he was gone running up to a lady who took him by the hand as he walked off.
Then came your neighbour’s mom ready to scold you for running off again, she would eventually get used to it because she always knew where to find you. On that dirty sidewalk with the boy that lived downtown, you had grown closer that summer, seeing each other every day did that.
Being toddlers, your parents inevitably met and then came the playdates, the birthday parties, your parents often reminded you that he wasn’t going to always be around so his eventual absence wouldn’t hit you as hard. He was staying for the summer with his grandparents so he would end up leaving. It wasn’t until the last day of summer that you felt the sadness, he was there with you, eating ice cream together on the swings, watching you sniffle with a soft pout on your lips between every lick.
“Are you sad?” He asked swinging gently with the cool summer breeze, you turned him as your pout deepened on the verge of bursting in a loud cry.
He stood up walking over to you to pat you on the head, “Why are you crying?”
“I don’t want you to go.” You coughed out the words between your sobs, letting your tears coat your face, his brows furrowed as he tilted his head.
“To go? Where?” You frowned at him, surprised that he could joke when you were so sad, then he smiled and so you pushed him away from you, walking away from the “bully” you called friend.
He caught up with you, still obviously amused, you stopped in your tracks turning to him somewhat offended by the smile on his face; “Sanghyeok, you’re being really mean right now.”
“You’re right I’m sorry, but I’ll cheer you up.” You wiped your tears off your face, sighing as you looked at him curious about how he would do that, “I’m not going anywhere, so stop crying.”
The relief you felt hearing those words was incomparable to anything you had ever felt before, he patted your head once again ruffling it to a frizzy mess before taking his leave. After that you came to realize that whenever you were with him, you ended up discovering something new, about the world, or just yourself, that you had so many secrets inside you waiting to be uncovered, more curiosity grew.
Now you were older, and you still didn’t know yourself entirely, but you were getting there and maybe this trip would help you, maybe it didn’t have to be as bad as you imagined.
You finally reach your destination after a long train ride; you gather all your bags and guide your friends through the station to the welcoming area where your parents promised to be.
It’s surprisingly crowded; you scan the room a couple of times before reaching for your phone. Your dad had messaged you a couple minutes ago that they were waiting so why can’t you see them?
A sharp pull on your wrist makes you stumble back, looking at the hand around your wrist you’re ready to snap at Donghyun till you notice the grimace on his face, gaze fixed in front of you, somehow you already know what you’ll see before you turn.
“Why are you here?” it comes out of your mouth before you can even think it, you watch his expression decompose sighing as he points over to the exit.
“Your parents brought me along, I’m sorry I should’ve declined.” You let out a quiet “oh”, looking over to your friends who are clueless to the situation, you gesture for him to lead the way following behind with the others. You feel Donghyun’s hand slide down from your wrist to your palm, holding your hand to keep you by his side.
“That’s him, right?” he leans lower to your ear to whisper the question, you look at him over your shoulder with a playful frown.
“Stop.”
He smiles as he stands up straight, squeezing your hand gently in his, bringing the same smile to your lips as you walk to your parent’s van.
Introductions go smoothly, Sanghyeok had excused himself into the car, taking the driver’s seat. Jiyeon, one of your friends comes up to you as you’re all entering the van, Haneul following behind.
“Why don’t we get to know the driver?” She whines in your ear, amused by your reaction bursting into a quiet laughter with her second pair.
“But seriously, you’re gonna need to do some explaining.” Haneul tells you before taking her seat beside you, leaving the last seat on the row for Donghyun who joins soon after.
The drive feels nice, you look out through the window over his shoulder, resting on it as you listen to your parents’ chatter, letting your friends answer in your place as you doze off just like you always did in the past, driving home.
Seeing him again felt worse than you imagined it would, not because you had so much hatred for him but because you could feel clearly how much you actually missed him, how much you wanted to live back all those years together.
When you get home, your parents try making you talk, telling you all about everything he’d been helping them with. The thought that he stayed close to your parents even after you stopped talking only made the situation more awkward. You excuse yourself going to help your guests and listening to him say his goodbyes as you walk off. You hate that your parents still push the narrative of a future between you two when that ship had sailed.
To enjoy the first night, you decide to take your friends down to the beach for a late-night dip. It’s one of those things you missed about this town, quiet strolls down to the beach paired with the gentle cool summer breeze, the perfect remedy for such a day.
“So, he’s your ex.” Jiyeon nods at you like to congratulate you for scoring such a fine man, you shake your head back dismissing her. You’re all sat on the sand watching the waves pull back and forth as the sky darkens, using the time to talk about anything that crosses your minds.
“Why’d you break up? Is he like… an asshole?” Haneul giggles leaning in to hear all the gossip, they all look at you expectantly waiting for you to reveal all the bad things he’d done but you shake your head again.
“No, he was a great guy, great boyfriend, great friend but he broke my heart…” The image of the last time you saw him flashed in your mind forcing you to take a deep breath.
‘Sounds like you still like him.”
“It does, right?” you laugh at yourself, standing up taking off your towel before walking down to the shore, cringing at the water temperature, waving for them to join you. The girls follow behind you closely, complaining about the cold water into your ears. Turning away from them, right in front of you was Donghyun, you watch him pull his shirt over his head, revealing a beautifully sculpted body, mindlessly gawking at the scene as the girls swarm around you.
“Here comes plan B.” You dart your eyes at Haneul, who smiles back innocently hugging you close by the waist.
“She’s right, look at him.” You are looking, it’s hard to take your eyes off. He was attractive with clothes but seeing him shirtless had you drooling. He finally reaches you and the two leave your sides. You look him up and down before landing back on his eyes giving him a cute smile, he tilts his head curiously as a smirk grew at the corner of his lips.
Before you can say anything, you’re getting splashed with cold water from multiple directions making you lean in closer to find refuge in his arms, placing your head against his chest as you keep your head down.
“I thought you wanted to swim.” his voice sounds so close to your ear it almost makes you jump back.
“It’s too cold.” you mumble at his chest, he wraps his arm around your lower back and then under your knees sweeping you off your feet, a playful smile on his lips as he speaks up.
“Here let me help.” Walking further into the water, keeping you trapped in his arms, laughing as you cry to get out of the water, kicking your feet as you whine, he gives you a playful air kiss before bending down, soaking you both in the cold water.
You push him off the moment you got in the water, splashing him as you tried to escape him. The two others cheer you on as you swim away, splashing water on all of them with your feet. You all end up in the ocean swimming till it’s too dark to see anything anymore.
As you got older, you found that your feelings for Sanghyeok only kept on evolving, by the time you were in high school it was undeniable that the feelings were far from platonic. However, it also got harder at that point in your lives, everything was revealing itself to be more complicated that you’d initially thought.
“I’ll see you after classes, just wait for me at the gate.” You smiled at him as you unbuckled your seatbelt, stepping out the car with a wave. Sanghyeok had been admitted to a private school by his parents so for the first time in a while you wouldn’t be together at school.
Ever since he got older, his parents had grown more controlling over him, dictating most of his movements and making big decisions for him, with his best interest at heart – of course. Still, you wished he could be closer now, more than ever because of the romance mess high school brought.
It wasn’t as hard to function without him around as you thought it would be, but it felt empty. You met a bunch of new kids your age, and it made you enthusiastic about getting to know new people, but you couldn't wait for the end of the day when you would reunite with the only one that mattered to you.
Finally, the day at school ended, you’d made enough friends in your first day to keep yourself occupied for the rest of the school year – you had good classmates. As you walked out the school compound you could already see him waiting there by the gate, his head down on his phone. You weren’t the only one who’d noticed him apparently, mummers and fingers pointing in his direction all around the entrance, his popularity only seemed to grow as you got older.
He lifted his head up meeting your eyes as you reached him, soft smile on his lips as he greeted you.
“Wanna go to a study café? I’ll help with your notes.” You looked around you at the gossip crowd that formed around you. You gave him a blank stare unamused by him feeding the rumours, he squeezed a tight apologetic smile opening the door for you to get in.
“You’re dead.” you whispered as you ducked you head to enter the car.
Shutting the door close, he smiled all the way to his seat beside you, turning to you curiously.
“Seriously you have to stop doing that, I enjoy being a nobody.”
“You’re my best friend, that’s not gonna be possible.” You rolled your eyes at him as he told his driver to take you to the café you studied at usually in middle school. “I missed you today.”
“Of course you did. Remind me why you’re so popular again? It’s actually pissing me off.” He laughed at your annoyance; he knew it just meant you missed him too. He enjoyed reading your emotions through your intonations, most of the time he felt he was the only one who could understand how you were truly feeling. You kept the actual feelings to yourself because you knew he could tell.
“Young and rich—"
“Short and handsome?” He glanced at you with a pleased grin, completely dismissing the diss. You turned away from him, focusing your gaze out the window.
He leaned in, trying to grab your attention, noticing the red pigment at the tip of your ear, he scoffed at how easily it was to tease you. You turned back to him and were met with a sudden proximity making you widen your eyes, turning away slowly, completely stunned.
The moment the driver announced you had arrived you got out of the car, craving any sort of escape from the situation. He cleared his throat as he stepped out of the car, joining you at the entrance, opening the door for you to enter first.
“How was your first day, by the way?” You snorted out a laugh covering your mouth, you applauded the attempt clear the air, forcing your smile to a straight face. He sighed taking a seat in the booth you usually took.
“Honestly, not bad. How about you?”
He nodded agreeing, telling you a bit about the sprouts of drama starting in his class already. The chattering slowly died out after you brought out your books, respectively focusing on your workload. The occasional glances up at each other, seeing how well you were dealing with the tasks.
“Come over.” You nudged over to the space beside you for him to join you. He took the seat, and you showed him where you were stuck, he knew exactly what to say to help you decipher the question. Handing you back your pen he watched as you took your time to fix your mistake, following the instructions he gave you. Seeing you get a hang of it brought a smile to his lips, he watched your eyebrows furrow at the step you reached confused once again. He simply pointed out the elements you needed, and you nodded seemingly understanding; his eyes stayed there on your face, locked on as you solved the problem.
Your soft pout while you thought of the next steps, made him want to give you more complex equations, just to watch that play out over and over again. The hair you had tucked back behind your ear fell forward, completely blocking his view, bringing him back to his senses, glancing at your exercise sheet only to bring his gaze right back. His hand reached forward grazing your hair strands, ready to push them away but then your hand came up, doing it instead, making him retrieve his hand.
You glanced over at him mindlessly, meeting his eyes for a second before turning back to your work, “Thanks, I got it.”
“Of course.”
After a few more minutes of studying, you finally ended the session for the day, and went home together. It was that way most days in your first year of high school, drop offs in the morning, then the café after school and then you would walk home together. It was mostly him walking you home, he lived closer to the café but he always walked you up home.
Finishing earlier than scheduled one winter day, you decided to go over to his school for once. It was a short walk, the air was cold but that was how you liked it, you sat opposite of the school entrance on a bench. It was nearly time for him to finish so you wouldn’t be there long. You had always wondered how he was at school, away from you, he’d told you so many things, but it was more interesting seeing it for yourself.
The school bell echoed out making you sit up, looking carefully at the mass of kids that walked out the fancy gates hoping to find him there. When you finally did see him, you felt your heart drop to your stomach, it was dumb he could have other friends so why was this one making you so devasted?
She seemed close to him, she was close to him physically, her arm wrapped around his and he smiled at her, did he ever smile at you like that? He’d never mentioned being this close to anyone, you felt a fool. She gave him a hug before walking away with a pretty smile on her face and he watched her walk away with a slight smile, you thought you were the only one he watched leave.
You took in a deep breathe before standing up, you couldn’t make it seem like you cared too much he was free to live, but he could’ve told you. You brush the plaguing thoughts down as you approached him forcing a smile on, seeing the shock on his face from your presence.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he glanced in the direction the girl left in, then back at you.
You tried to compose your thoughts taking in a breath, closing your eyes for a second, you wished you weren’t so affected by it.
“I finished earlier. You never mentioned having such a close friend.” Looking up at him for confirmation that she was in fact just a friend, instead he sighed clearing his throat.
“She’s… I don’t know how to explain this but my parents, they want us to… get to know each other?” He’d thought of so many ways of bringing up this situation, but it never felt right so he figured it could be the one thing he kept from you but now you’d seen it, and he couldn’t just avoid the confrontation.
“Oh. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“There’s not really anything to say, I didn’t want you to think anything of it…”
“So, there’s nothing going on between you two?” You let him place his hand on your head, patting gently with a smile.
“Is yn jealous perhaps?” You frowned at him, pushing his hand off your head, you couldn’t find it in you to just move on from this with a laugh.
“Don’t do that. I didn’t think we had to hide things from each other but apparently, I was wrong.”
“It’s really not like that… We’re only close because our parents keep forcing it, you know how they are.”
“Whatever. Let’s just go.”
He tried reaching for the door to open it for you, but you grabbed it first, taking your seat and shutting the door immediately. The drive was quiet, you figured the study session would be as well. You didn’t think you would get angry with him, but he just kept fuelling the fire, you felt like any other girl demanding information from him, when you were his closest friend. Apparently, that wasn’t enough for him to be honest with you.
You took your seats at the café, and you could feel his eyes glaring through you as you tried focusing on your work. You sighed looking up at him, tilting your head at him wondering what he wanted.
“I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you, but it was hard, I wasn’t sure how you would take it.” He hesitated as he spoke, looking at you carefully hoping he hadn’t said the wrong thing again.
“Your parents want you to date her?” He nodded watching you fidgeting with your pens, you nodded as well registering the information. “So, you’re going to—”
“No. I’m not, I don’t like her like that.”
You stared at him for a moment thinking about it. So far, he hadn’t done much to rebel against his parents, it was hard to believe that he wouldn’t go through with this.
“So, nothing is going on between you two?”
“No yn”
“Did something… happen?” His lips parted open for a second before shutting close, he brought his gaze up to meet yours. Your head turned, confused by the look, but it meant exactly what you thought.
“You had—”
“No! No, we just kissed once, it was at that party I told you about…” He stammered the words shakily, his gaze shifting away from yours as he spoke.
You couldn’t be mad at this, he was a guy, and he was popular you should’ve seen it coming, but you didn’t. You had this idea in the back of your mind that you would be each other’s first, it was dumb but now it felt even dumber. You couldn’t bring yourself to speak up again.
“You’re mad...?” It was obvious, you shook your head at him denying the obvious, “It really didn’t mean anything, like it was a dare.”
“I’m not mad, Sanghyeok. You can kiss whoever you want I don’t really care, It’s cool.”
“You obviously don’t mean that.” His brows furrowed as he moved over to your side of the booth, hoping to reassure you in some way.
“It doesn’t matter. You’ve probably kissed a bunch of people.” You could feel him close, trying to understand searching for your gaze as you spoke, there was a brief moment of silence before he spoke up again.
“I’ve… only ever wanted to kiss one person.”
You turned to him curiously, the question ready to leave your lips but the answer told itself. The soft smile he had as he watched you look over to him, his eyes landing on your lips in a heartbeat, it was all so clear. You wanted to be patient and wait for his lips to press against yours, but it felt out of your hands, you let your heart take the leap.
Inching closer with every breathe, till there was no room to breathe anymore, it felt so natural, his taste felt so familiar. You let your hands guide you to places on his body, places you had touched before but never with so much eagerness, thirst. His tongue slipping into your mouth only added to that feeling, you wanted everything he had to offer, to taste every lingering flavour in his pallet.
A mutual feeling, you could tell as he pulled you closer, hand wrapping around your thigh with a firm grip. Gradually gliding his hand further up your thigh, forcing you back to your senses as you stopped his hand, pulling you away from your fantasy.
When you were younger the town always seemed so big, like there was always something new to discover, you never really had time to be bored but now everything was different.
You look over to your friends laying on your bedroom floor with their respective fans blowing cool air in their faces, taking turns to whine about the hot weather. Your mom had brought diced watermelons for them to snack on while you stayed indoors for the day.
“It’ll be cooler in the evening we can go out then, I promise it will be fun.” Jiyeon looks at you with an exhausted smile expressing her enthusiasm the best she could.
“I’m so sorry guys, I didn’t know they closed the pool. It’s usually best in there when it’s this hot.” You spray each of them with water hoping to keep them alive till the evening.
For the rest of the afternoon, you just sit there on the cool floors, sharing an ice pack till it melts in the sun. It all feels like an unspoken bond that you will all remember for a long time, trying to stay cool in the hot southern summer. Slowly each of you falls asleep waiting for the sun to set, you in Donghyun’s lap as he rests back against the bed, dosing off to the soft snores coming from Haneul who slept soundly resting her legs on your belly, Jiyeon cuddled up right by her side.
Blinking your eyes open you sit up from your spot, yawning quietly as you push the feet on your stomach off. You turn to your own pillow who was already up, you let your head rest on his shoulder still feeling sleepy from your nap.
“You can go ahead and shower first, we’ll probably just go around town, get drinks… I don’t know, it’ll be fun.” You ramble quietly to him, you never knew how you ended up so close, but you always managed to find a spot in Donghyun’s comfort, he’d hold you there for a while and then you would move on like it was only normal.
After about an hour, you finally step out of the house with the group into the poorly lit streets of the town. It had been a while since you last roamed these streets but every memory that you experienced came back to you so lividly. Walking down that road through the empty playground you used to play in, down to the street where you sat playing videogames till it was dark, the same darkness that circled you now.
You tell your friends all about the past memories always leaving out the most significant part, the love that you felt, the one person you spent your days with. You liked thinking erasing him from the memories would make it easier to forget him, to move on without him but all it did was provide a gap, a void, that it seemed would never be filled.
“So, this is where you grew up.” You look over to your side following the voice, a reminder you could build new memories to look back on. “It suits you.”
“You think? I feel like I was meant to be out there.” You smile mindlessly, he can tell you’re getting lost in your thoughts, telling stories you hadn’t thought about in forever, trying your best to cherish the past instead of hating it altogether, he could see all this.
“I think it helped build up all that curiosity, starting off here I think, made you more eager to know more.” You look up at him, his soft features lit perfectly under the dim streetlights paired with a soft smile.
It feels like you’re alone, just the two of you in those quiet streets, staring into each other’s eyes trying to communicate your true feelings through them. Playing a dumb game when you both know. In each moment spent together you can feel how real your hearts’ desire is.
He’s had the words at his throat for a while, waiting for the right moment to tell you honestly but it never feels right, you’re never fully there, even now as you walk the same path side by side your heart lies somewhere else. It complicates things when he doesn’t know whether to help you move on or if you need to hold on to that feeling, that maybe what ever you are holding on to is best for you because he can’t afford to be selfish when it comes to your happiness.
“Omg y’all are actually pissing me off.” You look down at the floor as Haneul takes a space between the both of you breaking off the tension, she wraps her arm around your shoulder and walks you away from Donghyun.
“I feel like Sebastian in the little mermaid trying to set y’all up,” she complains as you get to the town centre, guiding her along to the mart, “you know it’s obvious you like him, right?”
“No?” You turn to her with a frown making her laugh, raising an eyebrow at you questioning your seriousness.
“Well yes baby. You’re always staring into each other’s eyes affectionately like fucking robots it’s so annoying just kiss oh my god.” You groan covering your face in your hand as you step into the store, her giggles echoing in your ear.
“I don’t want to kiss him.”
“And I don’t want to get drunk tonight yet look where we are,” She shrugs grabbing a couple drinks, you look over to the two others at the other end of the aisle and sigh to yourself, “Shalala don’t be shy, you gotta kiss the boy.”
You push her off gently, shaking your head at her playful attitude, grabbing a couple drinks before going over to the others. You try your best to stay focused on the task at hand, gathering the drinks, deciding on other snacks you could grab for the night, glancing at Donghyun, eyes on his lips. Admitting it was hard, but you only had one thing in mind since she mentioned it.
There is no use feeding into it, you like him as a friend more than you want to feel his lips on yours, he was a very valuable friend, and relationships tend to end badly so no matter how much his lips seemed appealing you had to stay away from them.
After getting everything necessary from the store you bring them down to the dock where all the fishermen boats are gathered, a usual drinking spot for underaged teens and overaged drunkards but a perfect spot, nonetheless. The water is calm and the boats rock gently on it, swaying from side to side with the wind, blue moonlight above shining so perfectly across the sky bringing a faint light to your encampment.
The drinks were opened as soon as you found a nice spot at the edge of the dock, right by the water. You sit there together, feet dangling off the edge swinging in the gentle night breeze. It feels right being there together, you never had the exhilarating experience of drinking here with your friends in your teenage years, but you imagine it would have been just like this. Laughter in the air, questionable cocktails and childish games.
“Okay, never have I ever…” Jiyeon glances between you and Donghyun with a sheepish smile, “wanted to kiss my friend. On the lips. French style.”
You roll your eyes bringing the drink to your lips, you had a habit of falling for your friends, so it wasn’t necessarily about this situation, but you let them take it as they want. You look over to him downing the last drops of his drink, your eyes meet as he put the bottle down.
“So which friend?” Haneul asks loudly tearing your gaze away from him and to glare at her. “What? I’m curious.”
“It was a while ago, so you wouldn’t know.”
“The guy at the station, right?” She grins proud of her deduction; you take a deep breath before nodding in response.
“So, no recent friends you want to kiss?”
“What are y’all doing?” You smile through the frown, taken aback by the sudden interrogation. They giggle in unison, drunken voices brushing the whole thing aside, waving around their hands dismissingly.
You sigh turning to Donghyun who was sat on the opposite side of the dock, giving him a tight-lipped smile. He smiles back breathing out a soft laugh, he points over to the spot beside you while the two other dance to the song they made up. You shift slightly to the side inviting him to join you.
“They seem to be having fun.” You glance over to the pair as he sits by the edge beside you, slow dancing to the sound of crickets holding their bottles loosely in their hands.
“Yeah.”
Silence felt unsettling to you most of the time, but then there were the silent moments shared with Donghyun and those just felt comforting. He brought that feeling along with him at all times, just being close to him you could feel it, maybe that was why you liked being so close, because you liked that warmth. You aren’t very close but without looking you can tell his hand is only inches away from yours.
“I’ve been meaning to ask,” he turns over to you and your gaze follows, “You don’t really like it here, do you?” You smile, of course he would notice.
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s a love hate relationship, I had so many good memories here, I’ve been my happiest in these streets, but I guess looking back on it make me sad.” He nods and his hand feels closer than before.
“Do you miss living here?”
“I miss my childhood but that’s normal, I had good friends...” He’s further away again, hesitating once again.
“Your ex? He was a childhood friend?” You take a couple gulps from your drink finishing it at once, you force a smile looking away from him as you do.
“Yeah, my closest friend actually. It probably should’ve stayed that way; it would’ve been better for a lot of people.” His brows furrow as he listens to you, watching you try your best to act like you genuinely did believe the things you were saying.
“You don’t have to see it as a bad thing, you live and you learn, I like to believe that everything happens for a reason. So, try looking at the doors that opened for you after you lost that.” You let him place his hand on yours, listening to his advice, words you know you needed to hear.
“We got a lot closer, and I’m really glad we did, you’re one of my favourite people now.”
“Not your favourite yet?”
“You’re getting there.”
“Also, I saw you drinking earlier. Who’s the lucky girl?” It was a naïve question, but you weren’t able to separate your thoughts from things you wanted to say out loud anymore. There was a possibility it wasn’t about you, maybe he also had an old friend he liked but he made it so obvious you couldn’t even tell yourself lies.
“Who do you think it is?” He asks quietly, staring into your eyes intently, feeling himself draw closer to you so slowly you can barely notice.
You can move away, turn from his gaze, push him off but you don’t, you don’t want to, but you feel as though you have to. You want so badly to leave the past behind, but it holds so many unanswered questions, questions you’d been convincing yourself you knew the answers to but whenever you thought back, it was all a blur. Still, you stay there, watching his eyes land on your lips as they part open, he looks back up into your eyes placing his hand on your cheek, leaning in till he can feel your lips brush against him, your eyes fluttering shut.
“Oh my god look!” The voice brings you back to your senses, pulling away immediately as you turn over to the sound.
“Sunrise already?” The other chimes in, taking her seat beside you. They set this all up only to ruin their plotting in the end, their drunken state overpowered any scheming.
After watching the sunrise, you walk back to your house, swaying from side to side unable to stay balanced with all the alcohol in your system. His gaze always ends up on you, whether he’s helping one of the others up after tripping or holding you so you don’t, he just wishes he could understand, where your mind is.
When you finally reach home, you all swarm into the room as fall asleep in whatever position worked the best. Somehow everyone found a spot on your single sized bed.
A wave of thirst hits you in the middle of your sleep, forcing you out of bed and into the kitchen, chugging down full glasses of water.
“Ah there they are.” You look over to your mom on the sofa with Sanghyeok, you scrunch your face in confusion looking at the clock to confirm to yourself that it was still morning. You yawn as you make your way over to your mom.
“Why is he here?”
“Ask him yourself.” You groan as your mom taps your shoulder gently, leaving you alone in the room with him. You sit beside him on the couch with tired eyes, dozing off mindlessly.
“So why are you here?” You ask eyes closed, the taste of alcohol still strong in your mouth despite all the water.
“I just brought your parents some fruits, from the parents’ garden and your mom invited me in. She said you would be sleeping so I accepted.”
“So, you didn’t want to see me?”
“I always want to see you y/n.” You look over to him, only to look away with a sigh, you want to indulge in it, play blind, act like the past year didn’t completely destroy you, but it did so you can’t.
“Don’t do that.”
“I’ve been waiting for you to come back, I figured you needed the space but now you’re back… and you’re still ignoring me, you look at me like you don’t know me, I don’t—”
“That’s not fair Sanghyeok,” you bite down your bottom lip, trying to stabilize your breathing, looking at anything but him as you inhale, “It was all so confusing for me. Seeing you with her, I got scared and I know I could’ve just talked to you about it, but I’m still scared.”
You couldn’t have predicted at the time that the kiss you shared would change your relationship so drastically, but it was inevitable. You knew you liked him, but you hadn’t thought you would get this far so it got awkward at first, you didn’t even mention the kiss in the week following it.
Maybe it had gotten too weird between you, maybe it was obvious that you were avoiding eye contact, because one day he just asked you directly, “Did you not like it? The kiss?” You answered slightly too enthusiastically that you in fact did enjoy the kiss.
He asked in the most sincere way, no paraphrasing, just the right words to get his point across, “I want you to be my girlfriend, would you… like that?” It seemed surreal at the time, your best friend asking you to be his girlfriend, you’d dreamt of the idea so many times and the reality was so much better. You hadn’t realized when your feelings had grown to the point of wanting to be closer than close with him and then suddenly, he felt the same.
Being in a relationship with Sanghyeok almost felt the same as just being friends, you were always together either way, but everything became more intense. When you were happy with him it felt like you could feel the joy oozing out your pores and everywhere, like you could never feel a single pain in life again. You never really did feel pain when you were with him, he always knew how to make it all better.
Some days you would meet him at school and see him with that girl, just talking as he walked out, and it would feel like the most excruciating pain just seeing them together. You never thought of yourself as the jealous type, but it felt like she had some sort of upper hand over you, being his parents’ choice, spending days at school with Sanghyeok, it somehow made you feel inferior.
You never did talk to him about these feelings because they felt dumb, but you couldn’t help yourself from feeling that way. He could sometimes see it on your face whenever she’d wave you both goodbye, he could tell you were still weary of her.
“Do you want me to stop talking to her?” He asked one of those days when you were headed to his place, you turned to him startled that he would think you would be so controlling but smile on his face revealed the humour.
“I really don’t have anything against her.” he nodded agreeing.
“If it reassures you in some way, she doesn’t like guys and I like you more than anyone else.” In some ways it did reassure you, even though you tried to act indifferent you needed to hear it, to hear that you weren’t the only one that felt those feelings.
Gradually you grew more confident in your relationship, his parents came to accept your relationship after seeing how committed the both of you were and you rarely thought about her, except the times you did.
Just as your relationship lasted through high school so did their friendship, and while you didn’t care as much you still felt cautious. With Sanghyeok everything was so simple, you often wondered if it would always stay that way.
After high school, you once again got separated from each other but this time on your own accord, you didn’t mind the distance between because you knew where to find each other in the end. Every chance you would get you would take that 5-hour train to see him, hold him till sunrise, talking about the exhausting college life. Everything would become so simple again, all you had to do was be together.
When he got his license, it was even better, you could walk out of your faculty building and just see him there, waiting for you like there was no other place you should be. You would take him to all the places you been wanting to eat in your new city, not having found off campus friends yet he became that for you as well.
So, your first year was quite enjoyable, studying was hard, and classes were a bore, but you were happy, you had someone. After your finals, you were ready to go home for the summer, spend it in good company and enjoy life. You had planned so many things together that summer, you could barely hold back your anticipation.
The initial plan was to wait for him to finish his own exams and from there he would pick you up and you would go back home together but you couldn’t wait, so you took the first train after your last exam. It would be a nice surprise, that was exciting, the idea of surprising him for once. You had forgotten what happened the last time you had a similar idea.
You had only one thing in mind and that was seeing him so the minute you got into town you took a cab to his parents’ place, sneaking in with your spare key. You had planned out the surprise so perfectly and then it wasn’t so perfect. At first all you could hear was her voice, so you followed it attentively, you saw her then him, Lee Sanghyeok.
You were ready to step in and go through with your plan, but something stopped you. The two of them together in his house wasn’t an unusual scene but him down on one knee brandishing a ring wasn’t. A proposal? You almost stubbled back, completely shocked, but you quickly regained your senses and walked out the house.
You had never walked as fast as you did that evening fleeing from the nightmare you had experienced, so many thoughts running through your mind as you sped to the main road to catch a taxi back to the station and out of the town.
Frankly you didn’t want to think, to think that you had been a fool for the entirety of those years spent together, that he could throw away your friendship so easily, that you wouldn’t know how to unlove him even after this.
So, you cried instead, you cried more than you had cried your whole life in that one night, you wanted to understand, to make sense out of what you had seen but you just couldn’t. You sobbed quietly on the train and out loud in your apartment, you could feel your phone buzzing in your pocket, and you knew it would be him, checking up on you as he usually did, completely oblivious to the fact that you knew now.
After that night you tried to limit the tears, you had a life to live so you tried to continue living but when the tears would fall was out of your control. You would think you were finally catching your breath and then your cheeks would feel wet again. You kept your phone off indefinitely, you didn’t want to block him, that would mean the end and you were still holding on to the idea for some reason.
Turning off your phone consequently made you loose track of time, and forget plans, one of those days following the incident you got a knock on your door and your first thought was to ignore it worried it would be him, but the knock spoke.
“Hey y/n, it’s Donghyun. We were supposed to meet today you haven’t been answering your messages, I’m just checking in to know if you’re okay I guess.” Donghyun, you met him during exam period, your first off campus friend. You often hung out after exams just doing anything that felt doable, you enjoyed his company. You had promised to see each other before you left, before anything happened.
You walked over to the door in pyjamas, hair messy, eyes puffy, and for some reason you opened it. You gave him your best smile which probably looked like your worst.
“Sorry. I just—” you swallowed down the tears taking a deep breath, before you could speak again, he interrupted you.
“Don’t apologize please, I was honestly just worried.” He gives you the sweetest smile, putting you at ease in an instant.
“Do you want to come in? It’s actually kinda messy—”
“That’s fine.” Maybe it was the high from the dehydration but something about Donghyun made you feel slightly better, just in his presence you could feel the sadness wearing off. He talked to you about all sorts of things that had nothing to do with the state you were in, but it wasn’t because he didn’t care but he was willing to wait for you to tell him.
You never did tell him much, just that it was a love problem so it would take some time to heal the wounds. Even though he didn’t do much you felt taken care of, all you did was talk and yet you felt the best you had felt in 3 days. You ended up falling asleep there on the couch beside him and then he left.
Stepping out the door was the first time he saw Sanghyeok, both men were quite surprised to see the other, but Sanghyeok spoke first.
“Oh, are you Donghyun?” he nodded in response, “Is y/n home? I’ve been trying to reach them… I don’t know, I just want to know that they’re okay.”
“I think you should give them some space.” Sanghyeok’s eyebrows furrowed for a second, eyes dancing around Donghyun’s face with growing confusion.
“Did something happen…?” He asked hesitantly, Donghyun simply shrugged in response before walking past him.
“Just keep your distance if you care about them, I don’t think they’re ready to see you yet.”
So, he did that, hoping that one day you would come back to him, and it would all make sense. While you tried your best to think as little of him as possible. You didn’t know what to think so you chose not to think, at least you would not know if you had been fooled, living in complete ignorance.
That couldn’t last forever, as peaceful as it was to ignore the truth there would always be a point when you would have to face it and it seems like this is exactly that. With him sitting by you on the couch in your living room, a familiar spot for the both of you. All your questions ready to be answered.
“I saw you with her that day. I came back earlier, after my exams, I went to your house, and you were with her… I saw you with a ring.” He looks around the room puzzled, trying to remind himself of the scene you witnessed. Then he realized.
He let his hands push his hair out of his face in complete exasperation, sighing as he turns to you with an apologetic frown. You wonder if it’s confirmation, if his silence meant you were right all along and the harsh pain from a year ago comes back with a sharp cut at your heart.
“This ring?” He pulls out an engagement ring box from his pocket, you frown slightly confused, “I’ve been keeping it on me for a while, hoping that you would come back.”
“You know I asked for your parents’ blessing that same day…”
“But I saw you on your knee…”
“I was nervous,” he lets out a dry laugh, “I asked her for help a lot because I wanted it to be perfect, I didn’t think much of it because I only saw her as a friend.” Your expression fell flat, in some ways you felt reassured, but you realized you wasted a whole year just feeding yourself lies daily.
The fact that he tried to be understanding made you feel worse because he had every right to be mad at you. You had put yourself in this position from the moment you decided to act like you weren’t bothered by their friendship, because of that he never knew your feelings towards her so he never knew when a situation would hurt you.
“Why didn’t you ever come to see me?” His brows furrow as he answers.
“I did. I was worried when you stopped answering me, so I drove to your place. Your friend was there, the one you brought, tall guy, he said you needed space… from me.” He never told you about this, a new feeling of betrayal hit you.
“I was still worried, but I didn’t want to worsen anything, so I accepted that…” Your frown deepens, biting down on your bottom lip as you turn away from him trying your best to not let the tears take over. “I do understand why you acted the way you did, but I wish you would have talked to me.”
You nod, you wish you talked to him too, you wish you told him everything from the moment you started to feel worried. There were so many nights you could have avoided crying yourself to sleep, so many times where he could have cleared your mind with reassuring words, but you didn’t say anything.
“I didn’t want you to think I was too demanding. I knew she was your friend but there was always that reminder in my head that she could have been something more and maybe she would have been better than me at it… I don’t know.”
“Nothing more would have ever happened between us because you were the only one on my mind. When I thought of love I thought of you.” He reaches for your face, wiping the tears off your cheeks. You lean into his touch taking a deep breath from the familiar feeling.
“Nothing has changed for me y/n. I loved you then and I love you now.”
“It hasn’t changed for me either.” You look into his eyes the way you always did so many nights before, complete sincerity in your eyes. You notice someone walk out the room and shift your gaze toward them, Donghyun. He looks at both of you on the couch, his gaze slowly drifting away as he notices your proximity.
This could be the last step in order for you to move forward in life without any regrets, you had to confront him. You excuse yourself and walk over to Donghyun in the kitchen, he flashes a smile as you approach him.
“So, you’ve made up I see…” you could hear the disappointment in his voice as held onto the glasses cup staring at the water in it blankly.
“Were you ever going to tell me he came that day?” he looks up at you in shock, surprised that you even knew about the encounter.
“I wanted to, but you were getting better, and I thought you wouldn’t want to be reminded of it, of him. I’m sorry if I overstepped.” Thinking about it, he was right you wouldn’t have wanted to hear about him. You shake your head with a soft smile; he was only ever good to you.
“Are you getting back together?" he asks cautiously, he isn’t sure he wants to hear the answer, but he asks anyway. You shrug with an innocent smile. “Can you not… get back together?"
Your eyes widen in shock at the question. He is serious, you can tell by the way he looks at you, inching closer as you stare at him mouth agape.
“Donghyun—”
“Let it just be a past experience or something. I will be your future; I know you feel the same way y/n.” You can’t find it in you to deny it, but you couldn’t deny your feeling for Sanghyeok either.
Before you’re able to speak up Donghyun steps back, pushed gently by Sanghyeok’s hand on his chest. Donghyun glares at him pushing his hand off making Sanghyeok sigh loudly before turning his attention to you.
“I won’t force you to be with me if you’re in love with someone else. Just be honest with yourself, okay?” Sanghyeok tells you, you run your fingers through your hair, completely thrown off by the whole situation.
“I need some time.” You walk out of the kitchen and out the backyard to the beach. You sit there with your thoughts, trying to organize them, trying to understand how you felt but you loved them both and that wouldn’t work.
The decision seems impossible, being faced with two different options. Choosing between your first love and a new love should be an obvious choice but you didn’t know what it was you wanted. Still, you had to make up your mind. The choice is up to you.
genre : tags. fluff, summer vacation, love at first sight, love triangle, rival brothers
pairing. older brother!sungho / younger brother!woonhak x gn!reader
wordcount. 5149
synopsis. In which you meet two brothers on vacation in the south of France, two very different brothers but the memory of you brings them together.
a/n. the first part to the past lives event. my favorite duo and the beginning for this whole idea. I just fr wanted to right nunnyangz as brothers fighting over the same girl lol. BTW they are brothers not your brothers holy shit. enjoy this one too the last one will come out some day i promise.
@onedoornet
“Wait that person… I’ve seen them before.”
Woonhak sits up on his sunbathing chair leaning out to the distance where a couple other girls were splashing you. A light punch on the arm and his gaze darts to his brother beside him, ready to cuss him out for being a pain.
“You look like a creep staring like that.” Sungho scoffs looking at his younger sibling from the corner of his eye, watching him lean back into his seat embarrassed from being called out so bluntly.
“They do look familiar though…”
“Don’t start.”
A light chuckle escapes Sungho’s lips paired with an amused grin, he wasn't sure what it meant but there was something so enjoyable about getting his brother riled up so easily.
"You know you do this every time," now Sungho was interested pushing up the sunglasses resting on his nose to his head, as he turns to listen carefully, "I see someone, I'm like they’re cute and then you decide that you also find them cute and then end up dating them for 5 months."
He was really trying to not laugh in his face at the sudden confession, but it had to be a joke. He presses his index against his nostrils hiding his smile behind his hand before looking back up to his brother who was already sick of his behaviour.
"I'm sorry, I promise I won't steal your crush this time. But I actually think know them."
Woonhak rolls his eyes, taking one last glance in your direction before going back to his game. He was sure it was you, honestly, he had been begging the skies for a chance to see you again, but this was unexpected. This was his first summer out of the country and he also happened to be out of the continent, he had almost given up on the idea of France after a huge argument with the guy beside him, but he was here, it must be fate.
The memory of you was so clear in his mind, maybe because it was the first time he had ever understood what love at first sight was. Surely it wasn't love, but he could feel his heart yearning, his eyes staring in awe of everything that you were.
He had been working this job a few weeks at that point and for the first time since he realized he could get free popcorn; he was glad to be a movie theatre employee.
It didn't take him long to notice your pacing, constant checking your phone, looking around frantically. You were waiting for someone, someone was making you wait, for some reason that angered him, that whoever had the chance to be with you wasn't an hour early at every appointment. He knew he would be, just from looking at you he felt like he would do anything for you.
The voice of a man brought his attention back to his task at hand, barely. As he served the customer Woonhak would glance back at you in between scoops, which led to him looking back to discover what had this employee so distracted.
After a small wave of new movie watchers, the space started to clear out, but you were still there. It was basically empty at this time anyway, he thought as he walked out from behind the booth, clearing his throat as he made his way up to you.
"Excuse me," as you turned to face him, he felt a sudden absence of air, a light cough before he continued, "Uhm I noticed you were waiting for someone, if you want, we can wait together.”
A bright smile shined on your face as you nodded, "You're waiting for someone too?"
"No not exactly, I just wanted to keep you company?" Was this the right method? He wasn't one to go up to women because he found them attractive, but he felt urged to in this setting.
He watched as you took one glance at your cell phone, looking away from the blank screen tight lipped before looking up at him, a quiet okay leaving your lips as you nodded. Now the only thing he wanted to do was make you smile again.
He let you sit behind the booth with him, sneaking you a bag of sweets just as a group of four entered the theatre. He turned away from you and to the customers trying to keep the smile on his face as professional as possible but knowing that he would get the chance to get to know you even just a bit felt worth the smile. His contagious smile rubbed onto the group till they left for the screening room. Now he could focus on you entirely.
"You're new here, right?" you asked as you put your phone away, sitting up in your seat to look at him carefully, trying to place him in the number of workers you had seen here before.
"Oh yeah, I am. Do you come here often?" he leaned back against the counter, relieved that you had any interest in who he was.
"Yeah... my boyfriend likes this place, I guess I'm just getting dragged along." You flashed a smile only to retrieve back to a frown, you didn't want to seem unhappy, but it was getting harder faking it.
"Ah you don't like movies?"
The question made you smile, maybe because you expected a follow up question about your shitty boyfriend, only catering to his own needs and interests, but he diverted, to take your mind off the recurring feeling that came with the mention of him.
"I love movies, coming of age, romance, period pieces, action if the actors are hot." He found himself imprisoned by the beauty in the way you expressed your interests as you continued thinking out loud, you never knew you had so much to say on the topic, "But the thing is he always picks shitty blockbusters so now I'm questioning my love for cinema."
Woonhak was about sure he started loathing this mysterious partner of yours, it may have seemed selfish looking back on it considering his heartbeat pace every time you smiled at him, but it was mostly for your own interest.
"You should break up with him."
It may have not been his place to say but you desperately needed that push, everyone else was playing blind, acting like the mistreatment was normal but you knew it wasn't and all you needed was an ounce of confirmation.
Just as you were about to let him know your plans, the devil appeared.
"There you are. I thought I told you to wait in front, what are you doing back there?" you sighed as you stood up, watching your only support stare down the man scolding you.
You reached for his arms sliding your hand down to his to bring his focus back to you, watching his face light up from the sudden contact. A soft smile played on your lips as you stared him in the eyes, it was a sort of silent message you hoped he would understand, a thank you before walking away with your boyfriend.
It felt so fast, the feeling of your soft hand in his, the smile he could never forget and then you were gone. It felt like the only thought in his brain for the weeks following, every time he would go to work, he would go in hopes of seeing you. You never did come back, but he chose to take it as a good sign that you were free, doing whatever it was you genuinely wanted.
Seeing you again on that beach cleared his mind, you were having fun on the other side of the world, it felt enough for him.
“Um hello… excuse me?” both him and his brother look up from their occupations, what were the odds that you would be standing right in front of them after their little quarrel on the subject.
Woonhak sits up quickly, nodding for you to go ahead and ask whatever you were inquiring about, hoping you had recognized him as well, “We’re playing volley over there, and need an extra two players, would you guys want—”
“Absolutely! I love volleyball.” Woonhak stands up enthusiastically, gathering all his stuff to follow you, driven by the slight smile creeping in at the corner of your lips.
“Since when?” Sungho laughs genuinely amused by his brother’s nonsense.
“Let’s go find someone else he doesn’t play.” The younger one whispers to you, only to see his brother get up as well.
They both follow behind you as you lead them to the net where your friends were waiting, the whole walk you could hear them bickering, unsure what it was about, but heavily entertained by it. One of them quickened their pace to catch up to you, probably sick of the other, it was the younger one, as soon as your eyes met, he smiled.
“What’s your name by the way?” You turn over to the voice and away from the smiley as you told them your name before asking in return.
You soon reach the net where the rest of the group was gathered, introducing the newcomers to them, and soon after the teams were formed. Two teams of three, you were picked to be on Woonhak’s team with one of your other friends, and Sungho played the opposing side.
It was a tough match surprisingly, the brothers played on separate teams which subsequently rose their competitiveness, working hard on defence, keeping an equal score on both sides till the last round.
“Sungho don’t push yourself too hard.” Juggling the ball in his hands Woonhak teased his brother who was obviously getting sick of playing, at that point it felt like a one-on-one game between the two and everyone was enjoying the build-up.
You watch the ball bounce back and forth over the net giving a push when you felt it would be useful for Woonhak who you were playing with, his loud yells of affirmation making the task worth the effort. After a couple more minutes of mirrored movements, Sungho changes the direction of the ball surprising everyone on your side of the net, Woonhak still takes the leap hoping to hit the ball enough to get it back on the other side but it only goes up higher a few inches so you take the chance hitting the ball over to your third right by the net, watching them push up on their toes before smashing the ball down to the sand.
You’re suddenly swept off your feet and hanging over your Woonhak’s shoulder as he runs around in celebration. You rest your elbows on his shoulder to keep yourself upright as he slows down his pace, sliding you back down resting his hands on your waist with a bright smile on his face.
“You’re such an ace” he scrunches his face genuinely impressed by your reflex; he turns over to your other teammate releasing his grip on your waist as he goes up to him high fiving him.
You felt intrigued by this new face, he felt comfortable to be around in less than a day of meeting him you found yourself wanting to be in his presence longer. It wasn’t only him, his brother had also caught your eyes in between all the chaos, through the volleyball net he revealed himself to be more interesting than he let on.
“Are you gonna play like that?”
“Like what?” Your response was quick, obviously irritated, somehow that only made him smile. He eyed you for a second, up and down making you frown.
“Your hair is untied; you could get hurt if it gets in your face.”
And that was how he started the game. You were convinced he did it to destabilize you, make you embarrassed so you could mess up and end up losing but after playing half the game with your hair loose, you realized he had a point, but your stubbornness would not let you give in. He crossed over to your side of the net during the break, looking at the messy state your hair was in, trying to not tease you about it.
You looked up at him confused by his sudden proximity, the playful smirk on his face not helping his case, “Turn around I’ll help you tie it” and for some reason you listen shifting your feet around in the sand to turn away from him.
Fingers combing gently through your hair, brushing ever so slightly against your skin, as he brought the strands together in a bundle pulling a hair tie around it twice. That was all he had to do to pique your interest, tie your hair back, you were a mess.
After the fun on the beach, the evening had already settled in, orange tones painting the skies reflecting back on the sand. Viewing the circumstances of how much fun you had together, you all agreed to enjoy the rest of the night together and so they joined you on your walk back to your hotel to keep the high going.
“Let’s go back to the club we were at last night.” It was an easy no; you had your experience the day before and the only time you were genuinely enjoying yourself was on the drive there and the drive back. You declined the offer taking a seat on the balcony with your newest companions, watching them munch down on the snacks you had offered.
“What about you guys?” You take the bag of chips out of Woonhak’s hand, grabbing a handful before handing it back.
“I’m good here, Sungho you should go ahead.” His persistence to get rid of his brother never failed to make you smile.
“I can’t leave my poor little brother alone. Who’s gonna help you brush your teeth if not me?”
“Bro what the fuck? That never happened. Stop spreading lies.” You watch as Woonhak’s voice gets higher, his eyebrows furrow, as he yells at his brother. Catching his breath, he turns over to you, softening his frown as he shakes his head dismissing his brother’s rumour.
A quiet laugh escapes your lips turning back to your friends who were ready to head out, they try to get you to come along once more but it’s no use, you had already set your mind on spending the night getting to know the two in front of you. You wave them a final goodbye before bringing your attention back to the pair, they had been mumbling to each other ever since you turned your focus away and now you were curious.
It felt like a good time to confront his brother, you were focused on your friends and Sungho was focused on you. Slightly hypocritical since he’d promised to let his brother have his chance for once, but it was expected. Woonhak still had his hopes up, he could send his brother off with your friends and you could be together, he would have his shot.
“What are you doing, Sungho?” Sungho turned to him puzzled by the sudden interrogation. He paused for a second glancing at you then back to Woonhak, his brows flinching in realization.
“You do realize they're the one who gets the final say, I’m just being a gentleman. Do what you want, no one is stopping you.” Sungho sighed seeing the annoyance take over his brother’s face, giving him a soft tap on the shoulder as he turned back to you.
“You promised though…” He did. And he initially planned on keeping the promise because he could see the truth in Woonhak’s complaints, but that was before he remembered you.
“Okay, but like I said I’m not trying to do anything, maybe you need to do more.” Woonhak scoffed running his fingers through his hair, he never really stood a chance against his brother. Being younger and less experienced he never knew what approach to take but Sungho always did.
“What are we talking about?” You pull your chair closer to get in on the conversation, leaning in as you glance between the two boys.
“Are you dating anyone?” Your eyes jolt to Woonhak, a small smile playing on your lips, surprised by the sudden question. You shake your head.
“Nope. Are you?” He smiles shaking his head, he couldn’t let Sungho ruin this for him, it felt like he’d been waiting for you his whole life. Everything you did made his heart yearn; you did that so effortlessly.
It was obvious to Sungho that you liked Woonhak, or at least you were interested in him, and he would easily let Woonhak have his chance here but there was a huge factor that hadn’t been brought up yet. They weren’t strangers to you, maybe you couldn’t remember now, he couldn’t either at first, but he remembered clearly now. It was a while ago and it was just one encounter but all you needed to do was remember to understand why he couldn’t let you go so easily.
He was still a teenager but right at the edge of seventeen, ready to leave the boring high school days behind, start afresh, build a new self but he was still seventeen strolling in the halls of a school he didn’t attend, uninterested in all the drama of prom night. He came with the neighbour’s daughter; she wasn’t a bad date but their parents had decided on them going together and so it was just awkward, and they ended up splitting up quickly.
He decided he would find a spot to chill for the rest of the night, knowing no one at the school and not being interested in forming new relationships it was the ideal solution. So, he roamed the quiet halls looking for a place to find refuge in. It was a space in between a set of lockers, well hidden, far enough from the party. Sitting there, the first thing he noticed was you.
You were directly facing each other in the same identical spot mirrored on the opposing wall, you hadn’t noticed him yet, so he decided to just take his leave not wanting to disturb your peace and quiet.
“You can stay. I don’t mind.” He turned to back to you already on his feet ready to leave. He could see you clearly now and the first thought that crossed his mind was “How could such a pretty girl be here, alone on prom night?”
He sat back down in the tight spot, looking at you, head deep in your phone minding nothing else. You had a long dress on, decorated with all sorts of sequins, matching the glitter on your eyes, you were glistening in the dullness that surrounded you. You were so sucked into what ever you were doing that he got carried away staring, not expecting you to catch him in the middle of his daze.
“You don’t go here, do you?” You asked watching him shy away from your sudden eye contact, only to turn back to you to answer the question.
“No, I go to—”
“Don’t tell me, I want to talk to a stranger.” you scooted over in your space, nodding to the gap you created for him to join you. He looked back at you with a puzzled frown, you pat the space with a small smile welcoming him.
It was obvious the both of you could not fit in that space, but you were adamant, so he ended up joining you in the small space. Somehow slipping in perfectly but cramped up against each other. You turned over to him with a grin, satisfied with the proximity.
“Do I get to know you?” He asked glancing over to you.
“Yes, you will know a lot except you know, my name and other personal legal information.”
“Did you kill someone?” You laughed quietly at the question; you had no idea how to approach this without blowing things out of proportion. The issue was a small one, but everything just felt bigger now, more important than before, and if you made a mistake, it could end up hurting you even more.
“I’m actually the victim here.” He turned over to you eager to hear your story.
“Feel free to elaborate.”
“It’s not really interesting, I’m just hiding from my boyfriend.” His expression became more puzzled, looking at you with a slight frown as you continued explaining, “He’s probably not looking for me, but I’m hiding because I really hope he cares even just a bit.”
Sungho thought it was absurd at first, not that you were hiding but that you thought your boyfriend would bother to try find you. To him, you seemed magnetizing. He could only look away in between heartbeats and whenever your eyes met his heartbeats grew faster, so he was never not looking at you. Even the ways in which you articulated your words were memorable. If you were his, he would hate to not have you close, even now he dreaded the moment when you would leave, and the only remaining piece of you would be in his memory.
“Don’t worry I’m sure he’ll come through.”
“You really think so?” You leaned your head against his shoulder mindlessly, you’d never expressed these worries to anyone before this. You always tried to seem confident in your relationship, but it wasn’t that easy.
“He’d be an idiot not to, if he can’t value you then he doesn’t deserve you.” He smiled looking at you, resting on him, lost in your thoughts.
“I’m not sure he does…” You mumbled quietly. He heard it clearly your voice being so close to his ears, he wanted to reassure you, but he didn’t know anything other than what you let him know.
You stayed there together for a while just talking about everything, your feelings, his behaviour, and the future because your high school days were over, you couldn’t hold on to something that wasn’t there. No matter how good you looked together, no matter what people thought of your relationship, it would be a two-person thing and you both had to be committed for it to work.
When you first proposed to keep anonymity you hadn’t thought much of it, but it was different than talking to someone who had a complete idea of the person you were, he just listened to everything you had to say, carefully and attentively. Maybe that was just the kind of person he was, but it was exactly what you needed, even though you were probably the same age, it felt like you were having a constructive conversation. He didn’t try to push ideas down your throat, make you think that there was only two ways to go, right or wrong. Instead, he allowed you to think, somehow understand your feelings and come to a mutual conclusion.
Being there with you might have opened a whole new perspective on life for him, all he wanted to do was help you and you expressed yourself with such fluidity that he wanted to know more, the answers just flowed out.
He felt so drawn to you, your voice so soft in his ear, your breath against his neck as you sighed between sentences, light chuckles in response, he could almost feel your lips brushing against the skin every now and then. All of this without knowing, each other’s anything, maybe that was where the comfort was, the idea of novelty.
“Kinda wishing, I knew your name now so I can thank you formally.” You laughed softly lifting your head from him, he could feel a sudden absence like you had claimed that space on his shoulders and now it was incomplete.
“I can tell you my name.” You shook your head playfully at him, as much as you did want to know, it would ruin the fun. You just hoped somewhere in your heart that you would see each other again in the future when you’re both at your best.
Soon after a teacher found you in the halls and led you out the doors explaining that the fun was over and scolding you on how you should have been with the rest of the kids, then you were out in the cool spring night.
You stood there together in the crowd of other kids your age waiting for their parents, you would look around then your eyes would meet, and you would smile the cheesiest grins ever, trying your best not to laugh at absolutely nothing.
“I really had a good time with you. I feel like helping you kind of helped me, I’d really hate for it to end here.” He licked his lips nervously as he looked down at you, making you smile reluctantly, turning away as you did so.
“Ugh I wish I could say no—" A heavy arm wrapped around your shoulder as you spoke, startling both of you before you remembered you had a boyfriend, not for much longer but he still was.
“There’s my babe, I’ve looking for you.”
“Since when?” You glared. He laughed at the question, walking away from your new friend, paying no mind to him as he dragged you along.
Sungho wanted to grab him and push him off you, he hated how entitled he acted, someone had to put him in his place but then you turned back to him, with a smile that reassured him, telling him that you could deal with him on your own. So, he accepted it, even though he would have preferred saving you himself, he understood it was your fight.
He chose to trust your judgement that you would meet again, and so he waited indirectly, always keeping you at the back of his mind till he realized it was a childhood fantasy and eventually forgot the whole encounter. Until this day, where it all came back to him, it was clearly you. He saw it when you approached them on the beach and watching you throughout the day, only reenforced that thought.
Now you were flirting with his younger brother, and it seemed you couldn’t even remember the moment you shared together, it was aggravating.
“Sorry but I’m getting sick of this. Do we look familiar to you?” Sungho asks interrupting the conversation you were having with his brother; you give him a confused look.
“Bruh, I told you to wait.” Woonhak lets out a deep sigh glaring at his brother.
“I said sorry. I can’t really act oblivious anymore.”
“What do you mean? Like I know you guys from before today?” You sit up in your chair curiously, you look at the two trying to remember any distinct facial features, but nothing comes to mind.
“Sorry but I’m slightly offended you can’t remember me. I feel like I have a very distinctive face, very memorable.” Woonhak complains showing off his face for you to have a closer look.
“You do Woonhak. I think you might have mixed me up with someone else.”
“Do you remember your highschool prom night?” Sungho asks quietly, leaning back in his seat, genuinely captivated by your lack of recollection of the past.
“Oh what? Wait! You! No way.” You cover your mouth in shock, looking at him with furrowed eyes trying to put a face on the memory, “Stop that’s kinda crazy, but I knew we would meet again.”
“Okay look at me now,” you turn over to Woonhak with a smile eager to find out who was, “I worked at the movie theatre in the city—"
“Wait, the new guy?” He nods, you place your fingers on your temple staring downwards as you thought about the encounter.
“Oh, yes my saviour.” You recount, placing your hands on your cheeks as you stare at both of them agaze. Woonhak nods to himself at the nickname, clapping simultaneously.
You stand up from your seat for a second trying to remember clearly, but their faces seemed to stay a blur in your thoughts. You point at them moving your finger from one to the other as you try to compose your thoughts.
“So, you’ve both known this whole time?” You laugh at the idea, genuinely amused by the scenario you were living.
“I was hoping you would get some sort of epiphany, but Sungho ruined it for me.” Woonhak explains impatiently, tripping over his words as he spoke.
“They obviously weren’t going to remember without help.” Sungho sighs at his brother, turning to you once again with a new question, “Also do you have like long term memory loss?”
“Well, I actually need glasses to see, and when I don’t wear my glasses or contacts, I’m pretty much blind,” You explain, sitting back down to face them both, “I think if I didn’t have contacts in, I could have recognized your blurry figures.”
They both nod accepting your explanation, then they look at you, thinking carefully about what they would say next. You furrow your eyebrows at them curiously, pushing Woonhak to speak up first.
“So, your boyfriend?"
“Oh, I broke up with him literally the day after, I can’t believe I met you both when I was dating such shitty guys.” You cringe thinking on your past stupidity.
“Such a pity,” Sungho adds with a cunning smile, “But we are both here now, just saying.”
You couldn’t admit it, but you agreed, thinking back on your time with Sungho those years ago you’d never felt such a connection with anyone else. You’d tried finding the same level of connection on blind dates, thinking it was the unknown that attracted you, but it was never the same. You didn’t think about it a lot but whenever you did, you had only one wish, to see him again.
Even spending time with Woonhak felt like you had some sort of unmatched compatibility, you could smile so easily when he was with you. At the movie theatre you couldn’t see it as clearly because you were so occupied with your own issues, but he helped calm your nerves. You felt an unexplainable comfortability with him, just from the attention, he’d give you, like he could see things that everyone else was blind to.
The attraction you felt towards either brother was different, you liked them both enough, but you knew you would have to settle on one.
“You don’t have to feel forced to choose by the way, but I would be the right choice.” Woonhak smiles pointing to himself playfully, his brother sighs at him pushing his hand away.
“He’s right you can choose to not choose but just think about our possible future together… beautiful right?”
You rolled your eyes at the brothers’ squabble, you had to pick, the choice is entirely up to you.
Presenting my 100 followers special, inspired by the movie Past lives. For the occasion, I prepared three written fiction stories, each including a pair from boynextdoor. Each fic has a different story to tell but they all have themes of past love, containing flashbacks and some level of regret.
— Hot summer nights [sungho/woonhak x reader] ≈ 5k
: In which you meet two brothers on vacation in the south of France, two very different brothers but the memory of you brings them together.
— In search of happiness [taesan/jaehyun x reader] ≈ 4k
: One you’ve known for years and the other you only knew when you were drunk, yet somehow they’re connected and you plan use it to your advantage.
— My past, present and future [leehan/riwoo x reader] ≈ 10k
: Going back to your hometown feels so different now, unable to go back to the way things once were. You find yourself stuck between the love you once had and the possibility of a new love.
The choice is entirely up to you, you pick your ending.
genre : tags. fluff, suggestive (18+), established relationship, comfort (?)
wordcount. 150 - 300
a/n. you might feel the quality degrade as you continue but i really just wanted to post something. its not too bad i hope, enjoy 😭
@onedoornet
sungho is used to your tossing and turning in bed whenever falling asleep becomes a task, and whether it’s a nap or full night’s rest he knows what to do to get your melatonin up.
he’ll keep you close, enough to feel body rise with each tired breath. gentle pats on your head as he sings a sweet melody to you, humming the instrumental part quietly for you to travel with the sound.
earlier in your relationship you had told him about this song, your childhood nights filled the same harmony he sung to you. he’d learnt the song just for you, for nights like this one when sleeping wasn’t so easy.
you remember the first night you heard the song from him, such a cherished memory. you dreamt of wonders that night, of you and him in a fairytale where that song played throughout the kingdom.
even when he was away from home where he couldn’t hold you, his voice would still be at your reach. after seeing how much you enjoyed his singing, he’d recorded the song for you, saving it on your phone so you could always sleep soundly even when you were miles apart.
when you can’t sleep neither can riwoo, he needs to see you sleeping soundly for the slumber to settle in. he doesn’t know exactly how to make you fall asleep but he tries to figure it out based on general opinions.
so when it’s time to sleep the whole mood in the room switches. rain ambiance noises added to a white noise in the background, cool toned led lights, air purifier, assuming at least one thing would work so got everything.
most of the time you end up laughing, watching him put on every appliance in the room to set the mood right just makes you smile. checking with you on the settings, asking if you want to change the rain sounds to fire place sounds since its winter.
while laughing doesn’t help you sleep, whenever you did fall asleep you were at ease. no matter what happened in the day, you could look forward to the sleeping sessions because of the joy they brought.
at times he would go the extra length and start counting sheep out loud for the both of you, giggling together at each number when you should be sleeping.
the truth was you knew exactly how to fall asleep, you’d fall asleep in the first couple minutes, just lying down on his chest, arm around his torso, but you liked the whole drama of it all so you would let it happen.
jaehyun is like a homemade podcast, you’ll lay there between his thighs while he tells you all about everything. sometimes he’d tell you about his day, depending on how interesting it was and other times he’d tell stories.
he knows you like listening to him so plays with that, telling you all sorts of things that grow more unbelievable as he goes on. at times you’re unsure if he is even saying coherent words or just making sounds that sound like words.
it never did bother you though, if anything you loved it the more incoherent, the easier the slumber came. you would let him play with your hair as he told a story you’d never heard of before, braiding it to the best of his abilities.
something about having his fingers tangled up in your hair and his voice so close to your ears made sleeping such an easy task, you wonder how it was ever hard for you.
you’d fall asleep to his sweet voice, bedtime stories from your one and only. even when he’s far from you he finds a way to make it work, late night calls were he'd just take you along with him, narrating his every movement.
he knows by your soft hums through the line that it works just as well so he continues till all he can hear is your quiet snoring.
slow relaxing tunes fill your room whenever it’s bedtime. you get so close together under the sheets, cuddling as you let the music transport you to a deep slumber.
most of the time that’s all you need to fall asleep, his arms around you and sweet melodies playing from the speaker. the only downside being that it wasn’t an immediate solution to your insomnia.
for taesan there’s only one way to help you sleep immediately and if the tiredness is too much for you he’s always willing to help with a little stimulation. he’ll help you relax completely and release all tension from your body.
he finds it cute the way you always fall asleep immediately after an orgasm, the way your small hands would wrap around his wrist when you felt it coming and stay wrapped there once you passed out. if you need an orgasm to fall asleep he'll give it you with the most pleasure.
whenever it came to it his main focus would be you, wanting you to feel the most pleasure so the slumber could settle as soon as you orgasm. he plays with your most sensitive parts, teasing and pleasing you, kissing you wherever you ask for it.
when you finally finish your eyes are already shut as you slowly regain your breath falling into a deep sleep. he gives you a kiss on the forehead to telling you did well before letting you sleep comfortably.
leehan is particularly gentle with you when you're sleepy, to be honest he enjoys listening to your little yawns and groans that come whenever you were tired so he's a little more unserious in his ways of helping.
when you're tired in bed with him he'll whisper to you while you're craddled in his arms but it's more of an asmr session that a soothing moment. while his gentle touches help you relax, the sound of his voice by your ear whispering the script to a cartoon movie keeps the sleepyness from reaching it summit.
occasionally he will add sound effects to the show, mimicking sounds of bubbles with his mouth and flicking his cheek with his finger to remake the sound of water drops, trying his best to not burst out into laughter.
so most nights instead of sleeping you're giggling in a dark room with your boyfriend whispering the script of nemo to you telling you to imagine the movie while he narrates. with all the laughing you do you always end up falling asleep in the middle of his story, imagining your self in the movies.
he never lets you miss out on his late night asmr, even when he isn't with you he send you voice memos whispering to you in the most erotic way while telling you to tuck yourself in bed tight. giving you some sort of guided meditation session so you can sleep soundly.
Presenting my 100 followers special, inspired by the movie Past lives. For the occasion, I prepared three written fiction stories, each including a pair from boynextdoor. Each fic has a different story to tell but they all have themes of past love, containing flashbacks and some level of regret.
— Hot summer nights [sungho/woonhak x reader] ≈ 5k
: In which you meet two brothers on vacation in the south of France, two very different brothers but the memory of you brings them together.
— In search of happiness [taesan/jaehyun x reader] ≈ 4k
: One you’ve known for years and the other you only knew when you were drunk, yet somehow they’re connected and you plan use it to your advantage.
— My past, present and future [leehan/riwoo x reader] ≈ 10k
: Going back to your hometown feels so different now, unable to go back to the way things once were. You find yourself stuck between the love you once had and the possibility of a new love.
The choice is entirely up to you, you pick your ending.
Presenting my 100 followers special, inspired by the movie Past lives. For the occasion, I prepared three written fiction stories, each including a pair from boynextdoor. Each fic has a different story to tell but they all have themes of past love, containing flashbacks and some level of regret.
— Hot summer nights [sungho/woonhak x reader] ≈ 5k
: In which you meet two brothers on vacation in the south of France, two very different brothers but the memory of you brings them together.
— In search of happiness [taesan/jaehyun x reader] ≈ 4k
: One you’ve known for years and the other you only knew when you were drunk, yet somehow they’re connected and you plan use it to your advantage.
— My past, present and future [leehan/riwoo x reader] ≈ 10k
: Going back to your hometown feels so different now, unable to go back to the way things once were. You find yourself stuck between the love you once had and the possibility of a new love.
The choice is entirely up to you, you pick your ending.
pairing: jaehyun x gn!reader ft. sungho x gn!oc genre: fluff, crack, established relationship warning(s): mentions of food word count: 1.8k
summary: the three times jaehyun has (unsuccessfully) tried flirting with you through pick-up lines, and the one time you did it back to him.
ZERO.
“So, how did you win your partner over?”
Jaehyun looks up from his phone to see Sanghyeok raising his eyebrows at Sungho, a genuinely curious expression resting on his face. Jaehyun puts down his phone, ears peeled for his best friend’s reply.
Sungho puts his cup of coffee back onto the saucer, expressionless. “Pick-up lines.”
Sanghyeok suddenly lets out a series of coughs, seemingly having choked on his drink. Jaehyun pats his back repeatedly, sheepishly smiling at patrons from neighbouring tables at the café who had looked over due to the commotion.
“Pick-up lines? I didn’t think you’d be the type to use them to flirt,” Sanghyeok manages after calming down, “To be fair, I didn’t think you were capable of flirting at all.”
“Okay, first of all, that’s offensive,” Sungho clutches his chest dramatically, “Second of all, it works wonders. You can’t say anything, because I’m the one with a partner.”
“Really?” Sanghyeok huffs, turning to Jaehyun, “I don’t trust him. Does it really work?”
Jaehyun blinks.
“I’ve… never tried it before,” he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, and Sungho’s jaw drops a little.
“Dude, you’re actually missing out,” Sungho slaps Jaehyun on the back, “You should try it sometime. I’m sure y/n’s reaction will be gold.”
Jaehyun hums, internally putting his thinking cap on. He’ll try it as soon as he goes home to you.
ONE.
“Honey, can you pass me your watch, please?” you poke your head through the gap between your bedroom door and the doorframe to see your boyfriend sitting on his side of the bed as he uses his phone.
“My watch?” Jaehyun looks up. He’s about to get up to find it, but he suddenly stops, gears turning in his head as you walk over to stand in front of him, “How about I give you my time instead?”
You chuckle, having not expected such a reply, and reach over to boop his nose. “That was a good one, honey, but I need your watch now. I told the watch repairer I’d be down at his shop like, ten minutes ago,”
Jaehyun smiles at the physical contact, but scrunches his nose in confusion immediately after, his mission of flirting with you through pick-up lines completely forgotten. “Why are you bringing my watch to the repair shop?”
“Honey, you told me you wanted it cleaned last week, didn’t you?” you ruffle his hair, endeared by his forgetfulness.
“Oh, right! I did,” Jaehyun’s eyes light up, recalling his request. He doesn’t know if you noticed, but he’s very sure there’s literal stars in his eyes. You always take care of him so well, and he’s nothing short of grateful. “Thank you, baby.”
You’ve already left for the repair shop quite a while ago when Jaehyun abruptly sits up from his lying-down position, sighing in disappointment.
You didn’t react to his pick-up line.
TWO.
“Honey, can you pass me the tomato sauce in front of you?” you nudge your boyfriend softly, eyes focused on the long grocery list in your hand.
You’d come to the grocery store with Jaehyun in tow, a result of your puppy-like boyfriend begging you to bring him along.
“It’ll be like a date!” he had whined, though you would have gladly taken him along without him trying his best to persuade you.
Upon hearing no reply for a beat too long, you look up from the list to see Jaehyun looking down at his phone, eyes focused and eyebrows furrowed.
“Honey?” you try, and sure enough, Jaehyun doesn’t respond, completely distracted by whatever is on his phone screen at the moment. You tilt your head in confusion. “Jaehyun…?”
“Yes!?” Jaehyun suddenly flinches, snapping back into reality. He looks between you and the grocery list in your hand and smiles sheepishly. “Sorry. Sungho texted me.”
You hum, gesturing for him to pass you the tomato sauce you’d requested a few moments ago. “Yeah? What are the both of you up to this time?”
“I was just telling him about the shirt I’m wearing,” your boyfriend replies, placing the tomato sauce into the cart he was pushing around.
You spare a glance at the shirt in question. It’s a simple white tee that you’re sure Jaehyun bought in bulk a long time ago, and you struggle to pinpoint anything out of the ordinary.
“What’s wrong with the shirt?” you ask, utterly confused.
Jaehyun’s back straightens, eyes practically sparkling
“It’s the material,” he whines, moving closer to you, “Feel it.”
You raise an eyebrow, but find yourself obliging anyway. You reach forward and pinch your boyfriend’s sleeve with two fingers, feeling the material.
“There’s… nothing wrong with it?” you reply, contemplating whether or not to add a thermometer to your cart to check if Jaehyun has a fever.
“There is nothing wrong with it,” Jaehyun grins, “It’s boyfriend material.”
You pause, processing Jaehyun’s words before realising that you really should have seen this coming with all the signs.
“Did Sungho teach you this?” you ruffle your boyfriend’s hair, turning to push the cart down the aisle.
Jaehyun catches up to you immediately, a small pout on his face as he reaches over to push the cart instead of letting you do it. “He said he won Bailey over with this one.”
You laugh at the mention of Sungho’s partner, nudging Jaehyun with your shoulder. “Really? I’ll have to ask Bailey about that the next time we meet.”
THREE.
“He told Jaehyun that? That’s definitely not how it went,” Bailey laughs as you recount your conversation with your boyfriend at the grocery store, “He cringed halfway through the line and refused to talk to me for a few hours because I teased him about it.”
You’re on a double date at the amusement park with Sungho and his partner, though with how you haven’t spoken a single word to Sungho and your boyfriend with the way the former pulled the latter aside as soon as all four of you met up and started whispering to each other like schoolgirls with secrets, you could say you’re practically on a date with just Bailey.
“Sounds like Sungho to me,” you reply, before gesturing at the two men walking in front of you. “Any idea what they’re whispering about? We’ve been here for, like, an hour and haven’t gone on any rides.”
“Probably pick-up lines,” Bailey shrugs, “Sungho’s been telling me all week about wanting to teach Jaehyun some pick-up lines so he can ‘succeed where I failed’, though I really don’t see the point since you’re already dating him. I told him to teach Sanghyeok instead, but he just said Sanghyeok doesn’t ‘see the vision’.”
This is news to you. You hum in response. “Huh, is that why he’s been using pick-up lines on me lately?”
Before Bailey can answer, the two men in front of you suddenly halt their footsteps and turn around, much to your confusion.
“Bailey and I are going to get some churros, we’ll catch the both of you later!” Sungho grabs Bailey’s hand and briskly walks away from you and Jaehyun, with Bailey squeaking out a “We are?” as they follow.
“What’s that about?” you turn to look at your boyfriend. Jaehyun looks back at you with a sheepish grin.
“I don’t know,” he replies in the most nonchalant tone he can muster, praying you don’t catch on to it (you do). “Let’s go ride the carousel!”
You raise an eyebrow at his behaviour, but oblige anyway, turning to walk towards the attraction.
“Wait!” Jaehyun suddenly raises his voice. You turn to face him, sheepishly bowing to passers-by who turned to look at the commotion.
“Your hand,” your boyfriend’s voice softens as he looks down at your right hand. “It looks heavy.”
“What–”
“Let me hold it for you!” In one swift motion, Jaehyun interlocks your right hand with his left, swinging them back and forth as he leads you to the carousel.
You stifle a laugh, turning to look at his reddened cheeks as he continues tugging you along while looking forward, refusing to meet your eyes.
You think you don’t mind Sungho teaching your boyfriend pick-up lines, if it means getting to see him flustered like this.
+
Jaehyun wakes up from his nap to the smell of pasta.
He rolls over to face your side of the bed and reaches over in an attempt to pull you into his chest, only to have his hands find purchase on your pillow instead. Groaning, Jaehyun opens one of his eyes reluctantly, and sure enough, you’re nowhere to be found on the bed.
Jaehyun sits up immediately, looking around the room in search of you before realising that you’re probably in the kitchen judging by the mouthwatering smell of tomato sauce. He scrambles to get up, and starts shuffling towards the kitchen to see you.
“Baby?” Jaehyun’s voice is groggy from the nap, and you turn towards the sound from your spot by the stove to see him trudging into the kitchen.
You smile. “How was your nap?”
“Not good. You weren’t there when I woke up,” Jaehyun whines, immediately latching onto your arm.
“Someone has to prepare dinner, honey, and we both know it’s not you,” you giggle, booping his nose.
Jaehyun whines a bit more before sniffing. “It smells good.”
You purse your lips in thought, a mischievous idea surfacing in the forefront of your mind.
“Really? I smell something burning, actually,” you try your best to sound genuinely concerned, and Jaehyun falls for it immediately.
“You do?” he straightens in alarm, looking down at the wok in front of the both of you. “It smells and looks fine to me.”
You grin, turning to him. “That’s because it’s not the pasta that’s burning, honey.”
“Then wha—”
“It’s my heart that’s burning for you!” you mask the embarrassment with a quick peck to your boyfriend’s lips. Pulling away, you find him frozen in his spot, cheeks reddening by the second.
He touches his lips with a lovesick expression and visibly deflates, throwing himself into your arms. “Baby, you can’t do that!”
Your chest vibrates with your laughter, and Jaehyun smiles subconsciously, nuzzling further into your neck as you wrap your arms around him. “Do what? Use pick-up lines? You’ve been using them on me all week.”
Your puppy-like boyfriend reluctantly tears himself from your embrace to look at you, eyes widening. “You knew?”
“Of course I knew, honey,” you pat his head affectionately, “They were horrible.”
Jaehyun huffs, burying his face in your neck once again. “I kept on using those pick-up lines because you wouldn’t react!”
You chuckle, rubbing your hands up and down his back soothingly. “Well, how do you want me to react, honey? I’m already yours. You don’t have to use cringy pick-up lines to win me over.”
Jaehyun plants a kiss on your neck, then whines. “Stop flirting with me. I’ll fall in love with you.”
“Oh?” you play along, squeezing him tighter around you.
“I’ll flirt with you every day, then.”
a/n: bnd writer icyminghao is back??? hello.
masterlist
taglist (send an ask to be tagged!): @onedoornet @slytherinshua @weird-bookworm @someonewhowantstobeloved @hrts4hanniehae
YAY!! I’m super glad that i’ve reached this number it might not seem like much but it does really make me happy. I recently realized that I’m still quite lacking in writing skills so i’ll try my hardest to do better but thanks for following me either way.
in the light of 100 followers i’ll do a little trilogy of fics for the occasion. 3 fics focused on a boynextdoor duo. they’ll be long to so it’s taking a bit since I usually keep it short but i hope you enjoy them when they’re out there.
genre : tags. fluff, domestic, comfort, reader is in a slump, oblivious x oblivious
pairing. bsf! leehan x gn! reader
wordcount. 1477
a/n. sunny by boney m. opening line i love disco music !!! also yippee 100 followers, I'll do a little post soon I've just been a bit sad and busy but I hope you enjoy this it's really sweet imo.
@onedoornet
The dark days are gone, and the bright days are here. That was how it felt whenever you saw Donghyun, even after a couple days without him you could feel the grey clouds settling in, casting a grim feeling all around.
Everything would feel so mundane, repetitive, lifeless, and you would try your best to just accept that most days weren’t as fun as you’d remembered them to be in your carefree days. You now had responsibilities, goals that needed to be reached, so happiness would be a luxury for special days.
Special days like this one.
“I think we could go shopping later to get food for the evening, we’ll cook something nice together.” Donghyun points out, carrying his bag over his shoulder as he steps in your flat. You nod enthusiastically waiting impatiently for him to settle his things down so you could regain your rightful spot, in his arms.
He stands up straight with a knowing smile on his lips, looking at you he opens his arms gesturing for you to get closer with a swift movement of his hands, “Come here.”
You let your smile pull your cheeks apart as you rush into his arms, hugging him as tightly as you could. The scent that you missed so much now enveloped you completely, the arms that you missed clinging onto now wrapped so perfectly around you, your missing piece.
It had been a month since you last saw him and it was a hard month, your days could be resumed with three words. Eat, work, sleep. Some days the only constant was work, it wasn’t terrible at first, you needed the money, so you were willing to do what you needed but after some time you realized you’d stopped minding your own wellbeing with the excuse of getting a paycheck.
Then you got a call from him. Talking to him was never hard, you found yourself expressing feelings about the job that you hadn’t even thought to yourself about. He listened attentively, taking note of everything you’d told him, and his conclusion felt like your solution, he said, “If you hate it, you have no reason to stay. Doing something you enjoy pays off more, in every way.”
So, you quit, and the theme for the weekend was job hunting. After being away from each other so long you figured a weekend together would be healing. You had missed his company more than you wanted to admit, your friendship had blurry lines like that, where you never were sure when the amount of emotions you felt would be ruled as “too much”.
Most of the time you would tell yourself that it was okay. Okay to long for his touch when you were inches apart, okay to imagine possible futures together and it wouldn’t mean anything because of the ways he cared for you, it was normal to get kind of confused but you were friends.
“I think you’re gonna be fine, there’s a lot out there, let yourself dream.” His words always sounded so reassuring. You smile at him, expressing all your gratitude in the way your eyes soften.
“I feel so lucky when I’m with you.” You sigh looking down at the floor between you. You always manage to say the most embarrassing things when you’re happy, he’d probably heard every embarrassing thing you could say but it never got less humbling.
“Don’t flatter me too much, you bring out the best in me.” He lifts your chin, blessing your eyes with that bright smile, his whole face smiling just for you. “Come on, we have a whole evening to prepare.”
You left the house soon after, a quick stroll downtown to the nearest mart. You had a few things to get for the weekend, ingredients for recipes you had been wanting to try but with no motivation, snacks for movie night, maybe a few drinks to add to the fun of each other’s company. He walks beside you with the trolley, pushing gently as you walk mindlessly through the aisles, to get an idea of where everything was arranged.
“Should we just grab stuff separately since we have a lot?” you ask turning to him curiously, he shakes his head declining your suggestion with a small smile, placing his hand at the base of your neck to keep you close.
“We’re in no rush baby, stay here.”
His hand stays there at the back of your neck, gently rubbing soothing any tension in that area as you made your way to the vegetable area. It felt so good you wished it lasted longer, the feeling of his hands loosening around your neck made you frown slightly.
You start ticking off items on your list putting all sorts of greens into your basket, echoing the names to Donghyun who crosses them out on the notebook you’d brought. The longer he watches you, scanning the displays, sorting out the perfectly ripe ones to add to your basket, the more he loses focus. Everything about your attire is casual, baggy clothes, ponytail, but it is so alluring, you make everything seem so beautiful. There was something so romantic about sharing this casual moment with you, it wasn’t obvious, but it was all he could see.
He follows you closely as you continued roaming around searching for the last item for the section, you turn to him with a confused frown he tilts his head curiously in response.
“Was it aubergines or asparagu—” The smile on his face makes you lose your flow of words, furrowing your eyebrows you ask, “What?” Trying to keep the smile on your lips contained.
“I feel like I’m grocery shopping with my wife right now.” He breathes out a soft laugh, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at you.
You turn back over to the carrots looking through them to distract your mind from blowing things out of proportion, letting out a light scoff you turn back to him.
“What?” Seemingly your vocabulary had been reduced to that word.
“I don’t know… I like this, being with you here, it feels familiar.” You could feel the heat taking over your face, it was stupid, you knew how he meant it so why couldn’t your heart accept it the same way your brain had?
“Yeah… I get that.” You continue your shopping grabbing both aubergine and asparagus, you couldn’t face him. An awkward silence settles in as you walk to the snack aisle, you look over to him meeting his eyes immediately, he stares at you carefully then smiles, not a real smile, just a smile, shying away from your gaze in the same beat.
“Was that weird? Me saying I could see you as my wife?” You want to answer but you’re not sure of your answer, watching him look anywhere but at you as he continues, “I’ve actually been thinking about it a lot, you and me you know?” Your eyes meet again.
“Donghyun… I—”
“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to make things weird, it’s just a thought that comes up.” He smiles rubbing the back of his neck, then a sigh follows.
“It’s not weird…” You smile back placing your hand on his against the trolley handle. All you wanted to do was tell him how much you liked hearing that from him, that him seeing you as anything more than a friend was exactly what you wanted. You knew he loved you and you loved him but there were levels to it, if he knew all the things you thought about him would he say he thought the same or would he tell you it was “too much”?
“Y/n. I love being with you, I can’t imagine being with anyone other than you, and I know we’re literally in the middle of frozen foods aisle, but I feel like you need to know this now,” he cups your face in his hands, smoothing your cheeks with light brushes from his thumb while you stood there completely dazed,
“Being without you for a month felt like an eternity, all I did was count the days till I would see this beautiful face again; racking my brain to find a word to express how much I love you.”
“Did you find one?” You didn’t realize when your eyes started watering down, contrasting the big smile on your face as you look up at him.
“No,” he laughs softly, wiping your wet cheeks with his thumbs, “not a word.”
You watch his eyes land on your lips, drawing him closer waiting for his lips to meet yours as you shut your eyes. Your lips meet and it feels like something new in born in you, the taste you craved for the longest time was now the only flavour you could taste.
summary : you and your boyfriend go shopping together
genre : fluff, very lightly suggestive, leehan x afab!reader, slice of life, comedy (?), poorly written haha (?)
tws : language, use of leehan's irl name, some slightly suggestive dialogue
author notes : for my pookies on the discord server >.< i told y'all i hated it and i lowkey still do... but our mannnnn
word count : 0.9k
you held up a black graphic t-shirt, which had half of it cut off. it was obviously supposed to be a woman's shirt—being manufactured as such—however, you couldn't help imagining your boyfriend in it, his small waist on display. and, who actually cares anyways?
"the voices, kim donghyun, the voices."
looking over the rack of clothes separating the two of you, leehan laughed, shaking his head, "are they that bad that you had to use my government name?"
"obviously, baby.” you whined out, “just imagine how good this would look on you, i fear i'm going to force you into it in a matter of seconds."
"you won't have to," he stated, pushing the glasses resting against his nose higher, "i can change my own clothes, y/n."
“yeah,” you slightly smirked, eyes trailing to the ceiling innocently, “but what’s the fun in that?”
he met you on your side of the makeshift divider, “fine, but you have to put this on then.”
you studied the fabric on the hanger for a moment, “what’s with you and your perverted obsession with skirts?” you took the denim maxi skirt from him, “and, what about my shirt?”
“you could just go without one,” he shrugged, “or use my hands.”
you lightly pushed him by his shoulder, “then you don’t get any pants, leehan—think carefully.”
he looked dead into your eyes, and for a moment you couldn’t tell if he was actually joking or not, “sounds like a good trade to me.” but that was exactly your boyfriend’s demeanor; seemingly indifferent unless you look a little deeper under the surface. he was actually quite strange, but you liked your men that way—weird hobbies, obsessions, and all.
he was the first to crack a smile before you prompted picking full outfits out for each other. he agreed adamantly, practically skipping off (he didn't skip at all, but you thought it would've been fitting) into the opposite direction of you.
you felt your phone buzz against the pocket of your jeans, pulling it out and reading the text from him: meet at the changing rooms.
and with that, you were off to search for some pants to match the croptop you were determined to get him to buy. you couldn’t help it, he was like a doll you wanted to dress up and style; so pretty and perfect.
soon after, you had found a pair of straight-legged, baggy jeans to match, star patches littering the back pockets. you scrunched them into your arms and searched for the dressing room.
you found the unlabeled hole in the wall by leehan leaning against the doorless frame. he smiled when you approached, the two items neatly folded over his forearm.
“you go first!” you were practically buzzing, “i can’t wait anymore—frothing at the mouth.”
he stayed silent as he grabbed your arm, pulling you along with him. you searched around, however it seemed like you and boyfriend were the only people who needed to try clothes on right now.
leehan stopped in front of the door, eyeing down at you. you tried to usher him in, ready to see his makeshift fashion show begin, but he had other plans it seemed.
you gulped down a yelp when he pulled you into the small room with him. yes, you were the one who suggested it, nonetheless you never imagined he’d follow through with it. you should’ve know though, leehan was a freak; he liked weird things and acted even weirder — but, he was still your freak, and you loved him dearly.
the door shut, and his hand covered your mouth as your back pressed to the wall. you dropped the clothes over your feet; which worked in your favor as footsteps approached.
your eyes went wide as you heard a voice call out on the other side of the door, “are you okay?”
leehan looked so calm and collected as he replied, “yeah, my girlfriends on the phone, she loves croptops.” and the clerk accepted the excuse with a laugh.
you sucked in a breath through your nose, mustering up the courage to lower his hand without protest. he had a stupid-little smirk on his face—one that you loved—and he pinched your cheek teasingly.
"stop worrying. we're not doing anything," he whispered, "right now." your eyes went wide in response.
he took his shirt off, and you couldn't help stare. he was toned in all the right places; captivating with confidence; he was everything you envied and loved at the same time. the rain on a humid day. he was yours, all yours. "are you just going to stare?" he took his pants off next, practically left naked. but, he let you watch as he dressed once again in what you'd picked out.
you gawked, "oh em gee!" it was exactly what you had imagined, emphasizing his waist, "we're getting it—the whole outfit."
"oh?" his eyebrows rose in amusement, "are we?"
you hummed, "yup," and in seconds you were unbuttoning your own pants, "now let's see if you have taste, leehan."
he pushed his glasses up again, leaning against the wall for a moment to study you, with crossed arms. he always loved how you looked, not that it ever really mattered much to him though. you were pure perfection, eternal ascension, an angel with devilish body language; everything he wanted. he couldn't believe you were real, and his. all his.
“oh, i must.”
you giggled as you finished changing, straightening the tight asymmetrical top against your skin and the top of the skirt. it was a green knit fabric, sleeves flowing past your hands. it wasn't something you think you'd have necessarily picked out, but it was cute—a little itchy—but, oddly cozy enough to overlook it.
he practically shot hearts from his eyes, "it makes you look like seaweed." he laughed shortly after.
yeah, a freak, you thought.
— tag list .ᐟ @lilriswife4life @lionhanie @0310s @serejae | send an ask to be added c:
♡ 1.2k words. bonedo x gn!reader. fluff headcanons. take a shot every time i say something is “— coded”. not proofread, if you see errors, no you do not <3
♡ authors note — super short and sweet! litro just my daydreams written out lol…basically just which rom com love stories i think would fit the boys!! i definitely tweaked some of them so if you notice they’re a bit different that’s why! i don’t even know what i’m trying to say this is just me yapping…might make a part two cause i love so many rom coms!! <3 ALSO! the sungho fic is coming :’) please forgive me >< gym sungho will be happening, i promise! <3 ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
p. sungho — while you were sleeping
୨ৎ he just fits in this storyline so well, methinks! the boy that sneaks up on you, the complete opposite of “the one” you think you want to end up with. it’s just so romantic <3
୨ৎ you’re in a situation where you finally get the chance to be with the guy you (supposedly) love…even if you are pretending to be his fiancé despite never having spoken to him…and he’s in a coma…either way! things are moving
୨ৎ until his brother shows up…and is immediately suspicious of you. and he bickers with you back and forth, trying to figure you out, but it’s nothing malicious…and deep down he’s already taken a liking to you. already fallen in love!!! *swoons*
୨ৎ LIKE THAT’S SO SUNGHO CODED TO ME. and it’s not even really a love triangle, since the other guy doesn’t even know you! it’s really a friends to lovers story <3 a blessing in disguise!! the quiet unassuming guy who steals your heart while you’re not looking :P
l. riwoo — pretty woman
୨ৎ give me a college!au with this premise please…riwoo is a young, wealthy student, the son of some big-shot ceo, and alongside his studies he’s being trained to become a partner of the company alongside his father
୨ৎ plot-twist, he hates it! the studying business and stocks and managing a million different things at once, he abhors it. and he can’t stand the lifestyle he’s always lived, which is empty and vapid and materialistic. all he wants to do is run away.
୨ৎ but one night, he does…sort of. and he finds you, an unlikely friend! he’s so sweet to you :( he genuinely does nawt care that you’re a sex worker, he just finds you incredibly interesting and fun and genuinely wants to know more about you :( he so soft-spoken and gentle!!
୨ৎ rich boy!riwoo spoiling you? yes, please! :P he lets you stay in his penthouse as long as you like, orders room service for you, lets you use his fancy bath, lets you buy pretty clothes…and he lets you accompany him on important dinners and outings…ugh. my heart. the idea of him acting nonchalant on the outside but inside his heart, he’s already planned to marry you is making me insane
m. jaehyun — 27 dresses
୨ৎ LIKE GUYS. imagine an over-eager, bubbly journalist jaehyun who wears glasses and has super fluffy hair and always wears the sweetest smile ever…myungpuppy journalist! <33 he’s so enthusiastic for someone who doesn’t really believe in marriage but…it’s that secret hopeless romantic in him peeking through
୨ৎ the trying on wedding dress scene…with jaehyun?! who’d look at you so lovingly with the biggest grin on his face and take a million photos of you posing…which he’d secretly treasure forever? guys!! <3
୨ৎ i love the slight enemies to lovers of it too hehe…there’s no real hatred but there’s definitely tension. think of it as golden retriever bf and black kitty gf…you see the vision right…
୨ৎ singing and dancing on the bar with him…thank you. that whole scene is so jaehyun coded to me!! the cute little secret reveal at the end, the longing gaze, the passionate kiss!! AH!! don’t get me started on, “you deserve to be taken care of” …. to be loved is to be seen!! to me, jaehyun lives by that so…27 dresses remake with him when?
h. taesan — the princess diaries
୨ৎ SHHHHHHHH. LISTEN. i know some of you rolled your eyes. just work with me for a second. did you forget about michael….?!? HE’S IN A BAND!! HELLO!! also…friends to lovers for the win!
୨ৎ college!au where bffs brother taesan is a music student and is in a pretty popular band and he’s soooo in love with you but you’re utterly oblivious! you treat him like a friend and the whole time he has major sparkly kitty heart eyes for you…i mean…the staring during music class scene !?:!:£ literally so taesan coded…
୨ৎ he writes songs about you!! you’re his muse!!! and oh…when you find out you’re a princess? he’s already naming his latest song about you “princess” <3 & he’s always sneaking glances at you :( such a lovesick kitty!
୨ৎ he never leaves your side!! when you were friends, obvi he didn’t, but especially when you suddenly have to deal with so much stress of learning that you’re a literal princess. he is so attentive and sweet, always making sure you have him to lean on <\3 AND AND him getting all dressed up in a suit just for you…that ending scene on the dance floor, the kiss, the LEG POP! <3 that’s all.
k. leehan — ella enchanted
୨ৎ does this movie count…i think it does. either way, i’m using it because the prince!leehan agenda shall continue forever and ever!! a love story that’s enemies to lovers and he’s PRINCE CHARMING?! show me to me…please…rachel
୨ৎ he’d be extra flirty and a tiny bit haughty and little bit of a himbo… but deep down he’s such a softie…and turns out to be incredibly attentive and a great listener <3 and he cares about your opinions and perspectives a lot!! >< sees how much you care about the kingdom and is like… write that down write that down
୨ৎ i need this type of au immediately pleek. the constant bickering, the secret soft moments, singing “somebody to love” in front of him and he just stares at you stupidly in love (2:53). the moment at the fireplace guys!! “kiss me” — so leehan-coded :( oh the romance of it all…
୨ৎ this story just fits him so well. leehan is very gentle and kind to me, and he seems like the type of person that creates a safe space for you to make your own decisions…he never makes you feel uncomfy or pressures you to do things you don’t like…he loves you for you <3 & all your life you’ve been basically controlled and he’s the first person that you don’t feel restrained around… my heart
k. woonhak — to all the boys i’ve loved before
୨ৎ SO CUTE! TOO CUTE! >< woonhak who is so lively and bubbly and a bright ball of energy that’s super kind to everyone plus he’s a star athlete and this has all made him very popular…i see the vision. quiet, shy, hopeless romantic gf x outgoing puppy bf and it’s a fake dating trope…eeeeyuppp
୨ৎ the whole aesthetic of the movie screams woonhak to me…it’s so sweet and youthful, if that makes sense. it’s just so first-love that you’ll never ever forget…the diner scene, the field trip, accidentally hitting him with your car lol, READING YOUR LETTER TO HIM OUT ON THE FIELD! <3
୨ৎ maybe it’s just me but i think woonhk is really peter kavinsky coded…he’s super cool and well-liked and might seem like he doesn’t care all that much about romance but he does! and on the inside, he’s secretly such a softie and a hopeless romantic himself <3
୨ৎ also also…i think he’d love an s/o that writes hehe…would absolutely melt if you wrote him poetry! and he’d keep your letter with him at all times (it’s either that or he frames it, and the former seems more normal lol) … once you’re together he treats you like an absolute princess :P and ok i know it’s in the second film but … taking you out to a fancy dinner!!! <3 he’d so do that. anything for his best girl <3
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