this is so fucking funny to me. who wants to join the ancient athenian evil dining club with me
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art blog(derogatory)

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Game of Thrones Daily
trying on a metaphor
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i don't do bad sauce passes

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styofa doing anything
noise dept.
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Misplaced Lens Cap

Product Placement
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#extradirty

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@gummymonk
this is so fucking funny to me. who wants to join the ancient athenian evil dining club with me
The Blue Grotto by August Kopisch
good morning to the beaten and the damned only
you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.
Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now
Haha I tricked you I actually have no soul this is just my poor imitation of what I imagine a complete being with a soul to be
There are no ducks in this post.
My favorite category of government program to run across is "program you've never heard of doing extremely important work to solve a major problem which you have also never heard of." On that note, the US drops millions of pounds of sterile bugs over Panama each week in order to prevent a parasite infestation from moving into North America. Everyone say thank you to the Panama-United States Commission for the Eradication and Prevention of the Cattle Borer Worm (COPEG)
This program had its funding cut during the DOGE cuts last year and now the parasitic worm they were trying to slow the spread of has officially arrived in the United States.
I don't want my cellphone to have AI I want it to have 3 days of battery time. I don't want my computer to have AI preinstalled I want it to have seven usb ports and high ram at affordable price. I don't want my games to have AI built levels I want them to be so optimized I could run them on a nokia.
none pizza with left beef
It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef
World Heritage Post
whenever I watch a movie where people are like dismembering someone alive and they're all chanting "hail satan hail satan" I always think "WOAH WOAH WOAHH GUY'S I NEVER ASKED YOU TO DO THIS! I DON'T NEED YOU TO DO THIS! I HAVE A TUMBLR ACCOUNT YOU CAN FOLLOW ME ON!"
I kind of don’t want to believe you, but at the same time I know what it’s like to have a toxic fandom.
Jesus You Don't Get To Talk You're About To Be Tumblr Sexy Man
Jesus You Don’t Get
To Talk You’re About To Be
Tumblr Sexy Man
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
I was thinking of a pride art challenge people could do with their OCs, because I thought it'd be cute! A queer/trans artist with their creations.
but then I realised that same challenge would be infinitely more funny with folks who have atypical or horror OCs
going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room
Blue Lois
can i help you
Red Marge
jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack
World Heritage Post
i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me
Rare Achievement Unlocked:
After The Clouds Clear
Sorry, I don't give out medals, this is the best I can do.
a post getting popular on tumblr is like
imagine you are op
you are standing outside in the middle of a field
you say some dumb shit
a couple drops of rain fall on you
and then a few more
and then OH GOD YOURE DROWNING WHERE DID THE RAIN COME FROM THE SKY WAS CLEAR A FEW SECONDS AGO
EVERY TIME YOU PLEAD TO THE GODS TO PLEASE ALLOW THE RAIN TO STOP IT JUST GETS WORSE
THEY LAUGH AT WHAT HAS BECOME OF YOU
YOUR HUBRIS WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL
and then a gimmick blog is like "this post contains no punctuation"
and then a gimmick
blog is like “this post contains
no punctuation”
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
"10k notes" this, "100k notes" that
you all failed
the notes have stopped
the storm is over
and what do you have to say for it?
Uhhh...
I say hi? Idk
fair enough
Guy with cataracts and scarred from an explosion has a fail toymaking shop in front of a rundown temple and he has a crush on a disfigured lowly priestess whom he suspects is a stealth trans guy because she always picks the boy option when they play board games (he’s right btw)
He's from Kalantiaw, but his mom is diaspora, and I thought her to be half "Japanese" (coded) - still trying to figure out how japanese ethnicities come to play.
She was a sailor turned pirate. She didn't know the language spoken in Kalantiaw (more akin to Khmer), and she spoke a different language (more austronesian), and she named him Kahilingan, which means "wish". But in Kalantiaw, where she settled, his name means "curse" or "bad omen" 💀 it doesn't help that her life ended with the beginning of his. So.
Kahi spends much of his life chasing the image of his mom and trying to.... live up to her- because sailing is the most esteemed occupation in their world. Only very very very very very few people have managed to work on "dragonships".
Basically, their world is physically broken (like living on an asteroid belt) and they sail to and fro each sundering / country on specialized stone ships called "dragonships" / "bakunawa"- and the ships themselves are semi-alive? They're like.. Stone ships laminated with the spirits of devas and dragons and other great beings who have all died because of (redacted).
Anyway, his mom, Maaya, was a renowned sailor- she tamed a dragonship that was imbued with an infamously wild dragon called Duksa- Dragonships are Sponsored, but those who sponsor the ships are almost never in command, and they also easily lose ownership to their hired captains- because the ships themselves are sentient, and they never obey anyone who they deem are incapable of commanding them. Only Maaya could control Duksa hehe. So she became known throughout all their world as this wild woman who loved fast boats and only accepted voyage commissions "if they are very fun". Anyways blah blah blah she fell in love w Kahi's other parent (who is nonbinary) and she got pregnet with him. And they eventually settled in Kalantiaw, in it's countryside near the subterranean capital (Kamharik).
Kahi always annoyed his other parent abt his mom because he too wanted to meet Duksa, but his parent kept warning him not to go near the ship because after Maaya died, it went even more mad with grief. Kahi more of an engineer than a captain like his mom, but his goal was simply to acquaintance with Duksa rather than actually captain her. But Duksa did not accept anyone, not even anyone who was part of Maaya's original crew.. Kahi went to an apprenticeship on shipbuilding-
he became somewhat popular for being clever with his hands, and all around Kalantiaw, everyone thought of him as reliable and very creative when it came to problem solving. So he went from normal ships to fixing dragonships.. ..
The Greatest dragonships are ones that are imbued with the spirits of actual ancient dragons and qilin, bc some are imbued with "lesser" dragons or false dragons, and some are with non-dragon albeit great spirits- like minor gods, wind spirits, phoenix,naga, etc etc..
Duksa was a true and great dragon, and Kahi knew that she was suffering from severe neglect, so all he wanted was to patch her up-
Everyone, every single one of Kahi's peers discouraged him, bc it is known that anyone who even approaches her is immediately kilIed by her; but Kahi, he is different. When he approaches Duksa, she was a shadow of herself, a ghost ship- She senses Maaya, and she even thought that Kahi was her at first- so she lets Kahi patch her big crabclaw sails, fixed her boilers and really tried to replicate how she used to look when Maaya lived.. and Duksa didn't know it wasn't her, because her eyes were covered in barnacles.. The "eyes" of a dragonship is its lodestar, and Kahi was purposefully saving it for last because he is frightened of what Duksa could do to him;;
But before that, Duksa spoke to him, joked like "ah beauty, what happened to you?! Your voice sounds like you swallowed a frog.. are you ill? Why did you abandon me?" Fhjsjs
"Why are your hands so gentle now? I want you to be rough!! Stop this at once! I am not old!"
But when Kahi started scraping finally at the lodestar, and he opened Duksa's eyes to the world once more, she cried in great anger because who tf was this intruder! And why did he carry Maaya's spirit with him !!!
Her entire deck creaked so hard the floorboards broke again, and she swayed her whole body so Kahi nearly fell from the lodestar;; he tried to reason with her, and it sort of mirrors how his mom tamed Duksa. She barrelled in head on and confidently, but Kahi was meek and gentle.
Eitherway.. an angry dragonship is like highly radioactive, its like being in a storm in a contained environment, and she started puffing steam- it's like microdosing being in fukushima; And she called Kahi a fool, he'll never measure up to Maaya, he will never be her- aaaah, but she didn't kiIl him. Maybe because she knew he was Maaya's boy. She warned him never to return, and tossed him into the open shallows. So, he was absolutely brokenhearted. He was 19.
~intense lonely lovestory between him and a closeted trans guy raised by mean transphobic priestesses in a cult the antithesis of a loving and wise lesbian death goddess occurs.~
There she is.. her name is Viharana Magayarin
Names-
Maaya's name is spelled a certain way in kanji, I want it to mean "True"
Duksa's name is Tagalog, it means "grief"
Kahilingan's name is tagalog- and it means "wish". Inspired from.. in tagalog, "curse" is a contronym of sorts- "curse" and "promise" is the same word ("sumpa")
Kahi's trans boyfriend's name is Tala, and it means "star" 😌
I drew Kahi's "girlfriend" (closeted trans guy whom Kahi would love without question or limits eitherway.)
His name is Tala / Sitara. His name means "Star" in Sanskrit and Tagalog !
He was raised by a cult to be a priestess too, and the goddess speaks to him as a ghost, trying to instruct him to liberate himself and the other orphans being indoctrinated by the priestesses..!!!! BTW in the world's lore, the goddess has a wife who is a nonbinary trans woman !
And this is Duksa, the dragonship
The Land Of The Sunken Moon
whale fall
Amardamu’s Many Hobbies
Close ups for readability:
You must read my tedious and semi epistolary comics about a dogged antiquarian and his mysterious possibly messianic, shapeshifting Usually A Pig assistant.......