"You left seven witnesses, guys."

((A Miss Pauling rp/ask blog.))

[gunshowsandsurveillance]

"Paulin', I got that contract taken care of-- poor fella accidentally got his jacket caught in th' gears."

“Alright, then.” Miss Pauling smiled and went over to a nearby crate. After prying it open with a crowbar, she pulled out a golden-looking wrench.

“An Australium wrench. Here you are.” She smiled.

[tcxastough]

Engineer was quite surprised when she was handed such a rare tool. Australium was nothing to sneeze at, especially with it being in such limited commodity these days. 

“Thanks, lil’ lady,” she said to the taller woman. She took the wrench in her hands and smiled back at the assistant. Her smile faded a bit and she grew quiet as she inspected the wrench. She ran a finger over the shiny metal, brow furrowing, she definitely had something on her mind.

Finally, she spoke up again,

“…Miss Paulin’, d’ y’ mind if I aks ya sumthin’ personal?”

[gunshowsandsurveillance]

Rewards involving Australium were if a task was particularly difficult or the person needing to be killed would be a big enough pain in the ass if they were left alive.

“...That depends. What do you want to know?” Miss Pauling usually got along with the team pretty well, but she didn’t share a lot.

[mikes-gay-ass]

Visit Original Link

face it.. this is what we were ALL thinking..

[gayspiderman-archive-deactivate]

(ง’̀-‘́)ง

[tiny-freakin-head]

she’s so cute and ferocious

[tcxastough]

Miss Pauling in Comic #6

[gunshowsandsurveillance]

"Paulin', I got that contract taken care of-- poor fella accidentally got his jacket caught in th' gears."

“Alright, then.” Miss Pauling smiled and went over to a nearby crate. After prying it open with a crowbar, she pulled out a golden-looking wrench.

“An Australium wrench. Here you are.” She smiled.

[recentgooglesearches]

advanced pissing techniques

[from-2fort-with-love]

Jesus, Sniper, can you at least delete a search history when leaving computer?

[cartoonistgirlsarts]

hey miss p how ya doin??

same.

[dhauwjwncjsiwnxn]

finding out the heights of your internet friends is always the weirdest thing

[crutchie-morris]

reblog this with your height in the tags then we’ll all know

[haviary-deactivated20180108]

the fact that the Russian language doesn’t have articles makes me go ??????????????? because in a native English speaker’s head it sounds like a hilarious shitpost type thing

 so when you ask someone “Где водка?” it translates to “where is the vodka?”

 but in my horrible backwards english brain if I don’t see any articles I assume they aren’t there, so yelling “ГДЕ ВОДКА” translates to “WHERE VODKA” like some kind of drunken maniac who you definitely should not give vodka to

[leupagus]

Speaking as a Russian-American who speaks the language and knows a fair share of Russian-Russians, even if Russians did have articles they would still slam open the door yelling “WHERE VODKA” at all times.

[deadcatwithaflamethrower]

I see nothing inaccurate here.

[rbb-archived-blog]

This is what I think is currently going on in the Valve Headquarters

[stickybcmbs-blog]

gunshowsandsurveillance:

@stickybcmbs

“Hi, Demo. Does your mom always call asking to make sure you get extra work?” Getting yelled at by an elderly lady was part of her job description, sure, but not one of the mercenaries’ moms.

“But I have a contract for you, if you’re interested.”

          He sighed loudly.

❛ Aye.  I keep tellin’ her that I’m doin’ fine on jobs but she dunnae listen.  What can a man do? ❜

          The answer was obviously nothing because…well, she was his mother.  As much as he loved her unconditionally, she can be a bit overbearing at times.  Though it seems like she wanted him to have way more than three jobs despite being well-paid for the one.  Ah well, what’s one more thing to do compared to a severely disappointed old lady?  The former sounded better by a long shot.

❛ What do ye got fer me, Miss Pauling? ❜

[gunshowsandsurveillance]

“It involves a lot of explosions.” She held out the clipboard for him to see. “We need someone to take out a workshop over in the next county. Guy who runs it is trying to do something stupid and we need to make it clear we’re not messing around.”

Despite the implications of the task, she was entirely chipper. “There’s also a bonus if you can take out a few of his coworkers, but please keep him alive. Otherwise, someone else might need the same lesson.” She handed over a picture of the man, one of those people who had a face that seemed wholly forgettable and could easily blend into most crowds.

[spencerthespacer-deactivated202]

Tf2 matchmaking explained by Jerma

[hawfstuff]

It’s funny cause it’s true.

[ubercharge]

original video

animation

[mcreguns]

;; I’m wishing to know some TF2 peeps to follow, so please reblog if you’re okay with roleplaying with a Canon Engineer roleplay blog!

[gunshowsandsurveillance]

@stickybcmbs

“Hi, Demo. Does your mom always call asking to make sure you get extra work?” Getting yelled at by an elderly lady was part of her job description, sure, but not one of the mercenaries’ moms.

“But I have a contract for you, if you’re interested.”

[bludoktor-blog]

gunshowsandsurveillance:

She was at least a bit used to his erratic, energetic behavior, occasionally glancing to his glee as she made a few notes and checking off what she’d delivered. At the address, she looked up, curious. “…A… you mean the surgery to make sure my heart doesn’t explode if I get an Ubercharge?” 

Well, she wasn’t going to get Ubercharged at any point that she knew of, and she never went out on the battlefield when they were fighting. But she’d already did the turducken heart surgery and it did sound interesting. And her job was still dangerous when she had to clean up their messes.

“I don’t think I’m going to need it, but who knows? Sure, why not.”

The Medic clapped his gloved hands together, unleashing an unrelenting aura of excitement, and he laughed.

“Ooooohohoho!” He kneed a cart away from himself and immediately set to work on a new Uber-gauge. 

“Ja, see! I knew you were interested in having a taste of my Ubercharge. Everyone is,” his tone of voice took quite the dramatic dip, “you never know when you may need a brief taste of immortality…”

“Please! Make an appointment… I will be excited to see you.” He’d be sure to have a primed and ready heart for her whenever she was prepared for the surgery. For one, he was aware Miss Pauling was a busy woman, and an appointment would be necessary not for himself, but for her schedule.

[gunshowsandsurveillance]

Usually, this would be the point where someone normal would be terrified at his absolute delight and his grin being creepy by most standards. The fact that he experimented on people would make things worse.

But she wasn’t. 

“Oh, well...” Her voice trailed off as she flipped through the sheets on her clipboard. “I’m free for a few hours next Thursday. Does that work?”

[bludoktor-blog]

gunshowsandsurveillance:

“Hey, doc. Did you order a shipment of…?” She looked at the clipboard on top of the cart she was pushing, her voice trailing off.

“…Walrus hearts and pigeon blood?” Okay, now she was confused. He had his experiments, but it was still a bit weird whenever they had to track down some of the more exotic animal parts he seemed to need. Well, whatever he was doing, it was working based on the results on the battlefield.

“YES! Thank you!” 

The shipment was immediately confiscated and horded into his lab where he diligently sliced through the tape and unboxed his new medical supplies. Thick gloves sifted through the frozen organs, squelching ever so lightly at one of the thicker hearts.

It squirted him with a bit of liquid, and a surprised ‘hooh!’ rattled the doctor.

Much more excited by this than any grown man his age had the right to be, he turns back to his courier with the heart in-hand, waving it towards her casually like it was a cup of tea.

“Miss Pauling! Are you interested in undergoing an Uber-Heart transplant?!”

[gunshowsandsurveillance]

She was at least a bit used to his erratic, energetic behavior, occasionally glancing to his glee as she made a few notes and checking off what she’d delivered. At the address, she looked up, curious. “...A... you mean the surgery to make sure my heart doesn’t explode if I get an Ubercharge?” 

Well, she wasn’t going to get Ubercharged at any point that she knew of, and she never went out on the battlefield when they were fighting. But she’d already did the turducken heart surgery and it did sound interesting. And her job was still dangerous when she had to clean up their messes.

“I don’t think I’m going to need it, but who knows? Sure, why not.”

[gunshowsandsurveillance]

@bludoktor

“Hey, doc. Did you order a shipment of...?” She looked at the clipboard on top of the cart she was pushing, her voice trailing off.

“...Walrus hearts and pigeon blood?” Okay, now she was confused. He had his experiments, but it was still a bit weird whenever they had to track down some of the more exotic animal parts he seemed to need. Well, whatever he was doing, it was working based on the results on the battlefield.