[gym--flow]

alright so I've already sucked at keeping track every day. mostly i would just forget and other times it felt like a lot of pressure on myself if i feel forced to do things every day. 

I've really just been letting myself take my time with working out and eating right. really taking baby steps. because if i forced myself then i would just stop or hate it the whole time but now it’s just slowly becoming a part of my routine, and becoming the norm. like eating healthy has become fun and i’m HORRIBLE at cooking but i’m getting a lot of practice in now with simple things like quinoa patties and stir fry..  i feel like if i can make stir fry then i will never go hungry because when in doubt, just mix a bunch of crap together. I've also been drinking a TON of lemon water every day and i feel like that’s had a major impact as well. water in general is obviously necessary for life and health and weight loss but i think really drinking a LOT of water makes such a difference. i think the fact that i throw a cut up lemon in there makes me more motivated to drink water so i don’t feel like i’m just wasting the lemon i bought and put in there lol. 

I've been doing workouts with weights or even just my body weight in my own room and I've felt good doing it. i finally ran for the first time today and i could barely run more than a couple minutes at a time before giving up. but i just let myself take it easy because i don’t want to be miserable while doing it. i really want to work up to doing more so that i can enjoy it.

it’s been really helpful to play upbeat music that goes at a good pace.. because something it me just wants to follow the beat of songs so if its fast i’ll go faster and crash faster.. and if its slow then i’ll kind of lose motivation and momentum in my workout. listening to podcasts is also really entertaining.. I've been doing that more in general like to fall asleep i’ll play meditations or while cooking i just have youtubers like David Dobrik or Shane Dawson talking in the background just for entertainment. 

my results are small and slow but i’m proud of them because it’s healthy and i feel like i can maintain it even if i became busy with something else (a job lol). my stomach definitely looks a little better, and it’s probably mostly because I've just been eating better so i’m not as bloated all the time. I've also noticed that my double chin is smaller (i never had one that would show all the time but i feel like it was very easy for the fat to show when i lowered my chin a little... this mostly made me sad/uncomfortable because i thought about what my [ex] bf was seeing when he would look down at me in bed and.... yeah i needed to change things...). anyway, i’m proud of what i’m seeing so far.

i need to work on being more kind to myself, especially if i eat some junk food i need to remember it’s not going to kill all of my progress and that its ok to let myself eat badly sometimes because i’m a freaking human and should enjoy life!!! and that’s the whole point of working out and eating clean most of the time.. so that i don’t have to feel guilty if i indulge once in a while. 

[gym--flow]

1/3/19

Thank god i’m back 

So. Truthfully I didn’t workout today. 

But it’s okay because I am not disappointed with the foods I ate. 

I had yogurt and green tea for breakfast... not a lot of food but i’ve never been a hungry person until later in the day.

Then I had quinoa patties THAT I MADE MYSELF, and a green smoothie. The quinoa patties are really good, they’re my obsession lately. I’m still perfecting how to cook them, but today was the best yet. The green smoothie had spinach and kale, half a green apple, and flax seed (and water). It was the first time I tried making one, and it was definitely lacking in flavor. I felt like I was just drinking blended leaves which I kind of was. I’ll try another combo or add something next time. 

That food honestly did a good job of filling me up so I didn’t eat again until late at night and had a mixed berry smoothie, rice cakes with peanut butter and honey, and snacked on some popcorn. ok so my dinner was basically snacks but it was tasty....

i’m still learning how to be healthy but it’s a step up from the way I used to eat. 

[gym--flow]

Day 0

This is day zero, happy new year! 

It’s 0 and not 1 because I’ve already permitted myself to slack off today, just because it’s a holiday. 

I would like to use this blog now to keep myself motivated and on track, and just keep a log of everything going on fitness wise. I’d like to check in at night just to sum up my days. 

my goal is mostly to lose weight but along with that will come more confidence and happiness. 

like i’ve said before, i have been eating better and today I ate some chocolates and a big greasy breakfast and i honestly felt pretty crappy later in the day. I’d say its a good thing that my body is starting not to like all the junk I used to eat regularly! 

[gym--flow]

I’m back!!

It’s been a very long time. And I have to be honest, my health and fitness has declined to an all time low. 

In high school in was so easy to keep up because at least if I was not going to the gym and working out on my own time, I still was in gym class at school a couple times a week and I did play soccer most of my life so there was some weekly workouts with that too. In college, and after, everything is on my own time so I really had to force myself to go work out, which I don’t always do. And junk food is super accessible because I can drive to it, and can afford the crap I want without permission from my parents unlike back in the day. 

Anyway. Hate to say it, but my weight is at an all time high, while my workouts are non existent. I’m feeling crappy about myself and need to hold myself more accountable. A gym membership is truly too expensive for me right now but if i haul myself out to school I can use the gym for free. Plus I do own some of my own equipment and a yoga mat so I have no real excuses not to do anything. 

I’ve been getting better with food, excluding new years because I wanted to let myself enjoy that day and the food I was having with my boyfriend and his family. I have tried to start counting calories with the help of the lifesum app. I think it would be far more helpful if I paid for it and saw all the workouts and other info provided but I don’t know if I’m that committed to using it. Anyway its a decent enough way to track my food so i’ve been trying to do that. I’ve almost become obsessed. 

I brought myself back to this blog because I need to be held accountable for myself. I’m often lazy and like to blame the world for my issues but this one is only my own fault. My whole family is doing their best and working with what they know to try and get in better shape so i need to do my own part too. If i’m not even working I might as well take up the time to do something good for myself. 

My confidence is down, my energy is low, my moods are off. I want all this to change. fast. 

[gym--flow]

Spending a lot more time outside lately and I feel a lot happier.

[gym--flow]

There’s a difference between being skinny and being in shape!!!!

I just wanted to throw that out there because there are plenty of people who eat like garbage and never exercise who are still super skinny because of metabolism/genetics/whatever. Or, they might not be eating enough at all and even without exercise would stay small, but not necessarily healthy. 

PLUS even if you are extremely fit, health conscious, and active... your body is your body! And it’s impossible to achieve the same results as someone else’s body! Because that’s theirs and only theirs!!! Everyone is a different shape or size and there’s always going to be someone skinnier than you, or someone more buff than you. It’s useless to compare. 

[gym--flow]

I honestly think I have some sort of body dysmorphic disorder sometimes. I always look in the mirror and think I’m fat or chubby and have rolls, or think I look horrible in clothes. but then when I look back in photos I’m always so skinny... especially at certain times in my life where I know I wasn’t treating myself right I looked like a twig and it’s painful to look back at things like that because even if I was skinny in an unhealthy way at that time, I still remember thinking I looked horrible and fat and thinking I needed to lose weight... Am I going to look back at myself now in a couple of years and think the same thing? 

It’s a bunch of things that add up to feeling this way.. expectations from society for women to look certain ways... pressure with dating and needing to look good to feel attractive and wanted... and honestly whenever i’m skinnier (and by that I mean like, maybe 5-10 pounds less than I am now lol) I do get more attention from guys (maybe it’s more confidence though?)...other girls complaining about their own weight and then feeling like I have to match up... and obviously my own insecurities... I Definitely was a chubbier kid and it’s hard to let go of the feeling even though i’ve changed physically and mentally/emotionally as a person. I just never want to feel that way again and it was especially hard because I was only a kid and even being so young I knew I was bigger than other kids and I just wanted to be pretty... or something... idk.

This post got deeper than I meant it to...even though it actually did start with a kind of dark beginning. 

[gym--flow]

it’s hard to eat healthy when you’re on a weekend away with friends

[gym--flow]

A year ago I was doing really well, in regards to fitness. I went to the gym often, was in fitness classes at school, went for bike rides, went hiking, did yoga, and my job at the time involved being outdoors often. I really let myself go this year at school. I let it happen because it was my last year of college and more often than not I would choose spending time with my friends over other things because I wanted to make the most of the time I had left there. I still think that’s okay, but it taught me that I really need to learn to balance things in my life. I worry about when I get a full time job (hopefully soon) and whether or not I will even keep up with my health and fitness at all, because I tend to need a lot of time to rest, be on my own, and recharge overall. It’s likely that I would choose to stay in and relax rather than work out after a full day of working, which also happened a lot during school. 

I think all of this is okay SOMETIMES, but as I said before, I need to find the right balance for myself. I don’t look the same as I did a year ago, because I haven’t spent the time on myself physically. This affects me mentally because I am generally less confident, and I worry about how I look when I am out or wearing certain clothes and that’s never fun- i’m sure many people can relate. 

My goal now is to get back into things. The best and easiest part is that I really enjoy doing things like yoga, bike riding, and hiking. To me, it’s not work and it doesn’t feel like i’m just purely exercising because I have fun while doing it, and extra bonus- yoga clears my head. I want to start with these things to get fit again. 

Going to the gym is another story because, it feels like i have to take time out of my day, and go out of my way to do it. There’s also expenses to joining a gym while the other activities are free (because I already own a bike and can just look up yoga videos to follow). Choosing a gym is hard, and I don’t have a steady income at the moment. 

The point of all of this is to say, nobody is perfect. Everyone gets out of their routine sometimes and falls into a rut. The important part is to get back into things (fitness and health related) as quickly as possible. Once you have a routine, it becomes so easy to stick with it. My goal is to take baby steps with this. Forcing yourself (myself) never works, but doing things I enjoy that are also good for me will be a good first step. The fitness journey is never over! 

[alexandramollon]

It’s day 8 of #belovedasanas and today is #ekapadagalavasana and I’m taking flight with these babes 😘 @steviefninglovesyou07 @transformational.yoga Hosts 🔥 @milena.moon @yogi_goddess @dade2shelby @summerperez @mmaneevese Sponsors 💛 @aloyoga @pranamat @sunwarriortribe

#yogaeverydamnday #yogachallenge #yogafriends #armbalance #yogaandbeer #aloyoga #crazysexyyoga #yogaeverywhere #yogini (at Open Door Brewing Company)

[fitnesstipsonly]

[risarodil]

So proud and inspired by everyone across the globe marching today. I stand with you all

[xanaxofficial]

[adisonbriana]

Day 13 kicks off the flexibility portion of my Beginners series! Today we are focusing on opening up our hip rotators. I encourage you to have warm muscles before beginning - flow through 6-8 sun salutations :)

[embracingwild]

when your life means more than the size of your body I promise your whole world is going to change

[hotfitnesswomen]

Sport bras are sexy

[furiousabs]

http://www.bellyfatcombat.net/

[myskinnygirls]

[rosieveggie]

#fitblr