Gypsy leaves town

Little gypsy writes about Life

[gypsysansguitar]

Welcome to Opposite Land

I wish I could break free from opposite land.

I wish I could live in the present reality.

But the truth is my brain works differently from others’.

Truth is my reality is removed from others’.

It’s alien to them.

People misunderstand me but I can’t tell them the truth about my illness.

In my world whatever I say, the opposite comes true.

So I say mean, negative things.

I say things that shouldn’t be said out aloud.

I say it because I know the opposite will come true.

I see my relationships breaking because of the things I say, and yet my love for those relationships is so strong, so great,

That I continue to say the wrong things.

In the knowledge that the opposite will come true.

I don’t care that I’ll be left alone, because of all the ill things I say.

All I care about is the opposite coming true.

All I care about is the people I love being happy.

And so I’ll keep saying the worst things.

No matter how it makes the people I love, hate me.

I’d rather be hated than have any ill befall them.

I’d rather love in isolation,

Than weep in company.

No more tears for those I love.

May they all prosper and find happiness.

Regardless of how alone that leaves me.

I have an illness, and that’s my prison.

I can’t tell them about opposite land.

God gave me this power for a reason.

And I cannot,

Should not,

Break the spell.

[gypsysansguitar]

#Vishu #Elai #sadhya https://www.instagram.com/p/Bwn-ARvFZ3FpWQbhHT8GrgHUZXdJvAFk-utMgs0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=7n8v8i0joxvm

[gypsysansguitar]

#Piscean #Aunt #BirthdayBash (at Lord of the Drinks, Mumbai) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu6s-s3lx1pDjymbOss1DCOu-FrLlJnXIt4vKk0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1pn7eszc2c1y4

[gypsysansguitar]

#AnnualDayFunction #School #anchorforthenight https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu6OHEDFgCoYKdimcCsSfzcXXnwM05V6Lw9W1Q0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1xiva67q4tjr3

[gypsysansguitar]

#Enroute #Bombay #PhotoSkills https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu6N8dMF0RFCH0F7yFfBe2i0goIi8BbZeDtKjM0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1dtjoxrb4czzy

[gypsysansguitar]

Happy birthday to me #nofilter #naturalfaces #cakeIBakedAndI (at Pune, Maharashtra) https://www.instagram.com/p/BumJDPiFWOMmTfw6jRYyprm6O8qTrCtelJEgtw0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=2yweaz5zagbk

[gypsysansguitar]

#Happy #Dirty30 #ToMe (at Pune, Maharashtra) https://www.instagram.com/p/BulX4oaFoifCzMpoPJjYyJDBD8Bb22o1nrjrhw0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=12hdp6zn7csje

[gypsysansguitar]

Rules

They shouldn’t give a phone in my hand,

I don’t know what to do with it !!

[gypsysansguitar]

I will be back

Some day, in the throes of tomorrow.

Some way, in the braces of yesterday.

There will be a chasm, it will change us.

There will be a dream that makes itself and quickly shatters.

I will find resilience, I will find the spirit to fight.

I will copy you, mimic you, I will:

If I have to, I will do whatever I need to.

There will be a today. I promise you.

This sun will never set on me.

Or us.

Or them.

[thingsiwant-nl]

[books-n-quotes]

“We don’t create a fantasy world to escape reality, we create it to be able to stay.”

— Lynda Barry, What It Is

[maxwelldpoetry]

“I don’t know what unnerves me more, the fact that you care or the fact that I do. My heart throws open its doors at the mention of your name in hopes that you’ll come through. I don’t have doubts when it comes to you – at least, I don’t have doubts about you. I doubt myself. I feel like one day, the Earth will make a full rotation without us speaking a word to each other, and somehow it will be my fault. I don’t know when the sand runs out, I don’t know when the alarm sounds, but somehow, this ends. I’ve been tired for a while, I’ve been sad for a while, I’ve been afraid of hoping for a while. If you asked where it hurt the most, I’d probably say my chest. The headaches are a close second, but the ripping feeling that ensues when I think about our ending surpasses them. I don’t know how to let this weight go. I don’t know how to break these chains. It only takes breaking once to know what pain is. It only takes one crack to know you never want to hurt again if you can avoid it, and my heart is riddled with them. It takes the second and third crack to learn that you can’t avoid it no matter how hard you try, but you try anyway. I smile to avoid making people uncomfortable. I laugh to curb the awkward silence that’ll fill the room if I don’t. I’ve grown tired of losing, I’ve grown tired of hoping, I’ve grown tired of feeling like I don’t fit the bill. This exhaustion doesn’t thin out with sleep. This darkness has sunk deep into the joints in-between my bones and I don’t know how to get it out. I don’t know how to get out of this rut. And this is the point where I’d usually say something about how I will, about how I’ll rise again and walk freely, but I don’t have that in me right now. Forgive me, I’m dampening the mood. At least, that’s what I want to say. I want to apologize for being this, for being me. Maybe I haven’t done anything wrong after all, but it all feels wrong tonight. I feel wrong tonight.”

— I’m wrong tonight. // Maxwell Diawuoh, Once A Day (05/01/2018)

[gypsysansguitar]

Wow.

[torrentialmonsoon]

I don’t know how not to be lonely.

- Chelsea Cutler, The Reason

[gypsysansguitar]

:-(

[books-n-quotes]

“No one can tell what goes on in between the person you were and the person you become. No one can chart that blue and lonely section of hell. There are no maps of the change. You just come out the other side. Or you don’t.”

— Stephen King, The Stand

[gypsysansguitar]

Have I come out the other side ? Or am I on pause ?!

[jacarterwinward]

what i don’t tell my daughters

thanksgiving is a few days away

and i’m going to great pains to make sure

i cook the same things i cook every year.

my husband told me shortcuts are okay.

he doesn’t understand.

i’m making memories,

the way my mom did.

and every year when i make thanksgiving,

my mom is there,

hovering in my mind,

whispering in my ear,

guiding me and showing me

how to get the gravy just right

all over again,

like when i was a young mother

learning at her side.

and as i prepare the meal

i feel so close to her,

but that’s offset by how gone she is.

i have a lump i carry in my chest and throat

with every vegetable i chop,

every roll i form.

my daughter,

now a young mother,

is coming to learn how to cook

thanksgiving dinner this year.

and i won’t tell her.

i won’t tell her that there will come a day

when cooking thanksgiving dinner

will be one of the most

bittersweet things

she ever does.

i want to tell her

so that she will savor it,

but i can’t.

my mom didn’t tell me.

but would i have known enough then

to savor it

even if she had?

no—

i would have told her that she was going to

live forever,

and i would be twenty-five forever,

and i would have brushed away the inevitable

because that’s what the young must do.

so i will teach my daughter and

she will remember—

and so another chapter begins.

one day she will teach her daughter,

think of me,

and the chapter will close,

another will open,

and what ends will begin,

and what begins will end.

it is the way of immortality

and the inevitable course

of love.

© jacw, work in progress, coming 2016

www.jacarterwinward.com

[jacarterwinward]

what i don’t tell my daughters

thanksgiving is a few days away

and i’m going to great pains to make sure

i cook the same things i cook every year.

my husband told me shortcuts are okay.

he doesn’t understand.

i’m making memories,

the way my mom did.

and every year when i make thanksgiving,

my mom is there,

hovering in my mind,

whispering in my ear,

guiding me and showing me

how to get the gravy just right

all over again,

like when i was a young mother

learning at her side.

and as i prepare the meal

i feel so close to her,

but that’s offset by how gone she is.

i have a lump i carry in my chest and throat

with every vegetable i chop,

every roll i form.

my daughter,

now a young mother,

is coming to learn how to cook

thanksgiving dinner this year.

and i won’t tell her.

i won’t tell her that there will come a day

when cooking thanksgiving dinner

will be one of the most

bittersweet things

she ever does.

i want to tell her

so that she will savor it,

but i can’t.

my mom didn’t tell me.

but would i have known enough then

to savor it

even if she had?

no—

i would have told her that she was going to

live forever,

and i would be twenty-five forever,

and i would have brushed away the inevitable

because that’s what the young must do.

so i will teach my daughter and

she will remember—

and so another chapter begins.

one day she will teach her daughter,

think of me,

and the chapter will close,

another will open,

and what ends will begin,

and what begins will end.

it is the way of immortality

and the inevitable course

of love.

© jacw, work in progress, coming 2016

www.jacarterwinward.com

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

ppl are so annoying “you can’t paint ur bedroom pink you’re an adult” i did not spend my entire life waiting to grow up and control my life to paint my bedroom beige

[gypsysansguitar]

I so feel exactly what this person is saying !!!