the thing is buck is a Brat. he loves to be crazy and annoying and act out for attention and he super loves to push and push and push to see how far eddie will let him go. this is the essence of clipboard buck btw. to Me. that eddie is Letting him do this. it's a case of how far will eddie let this go? how long will he indulge buck for? it's the idea that he doesn't Have to do what buck tells him but he gets off on indulging buck's behaviour because buck gets off on eddie letting him get away with his behaviour and they both get off on the fact that eddie is Letting this happen. that he doesn’t Have to do what buck tells him. he's indulging him. that there is an end point here where eddie says No Buck. and buck heels and goes Yes Sir, i'll be Good, tell me what to do 🐕
literally eddie brat tames buck by letting him push and push by letting him pull on the leash eddie is holding to give buck the illusion he's Winning and he has Power and then eddie will go Buck. in that very specific tone. and buck will immediately sit and wait for a command like a dog. path of least resistance. buck doesn't actually want to Win he wants eddie to let him push and push him so far only to finally put his foot down and say Enough and maybe also be a little mean about it
to people who are me I do think if eddie actually came out to buck, buck would make a move. not immediately, like i'd give him 2-5 business days of spiraling, but i do think buck isn't the type to sit around and pine when he knows there's a chance, and he's emotionally intelligent enough to know that there IS a chance here. if anything i think the main spiral isn't 'do I ask him out' so much as it's 'how do i ask him out in the bestest most worthy way possible.'
the first thought that buck has when eddie comes out to him is: i have to tell him.
the second is: wait, what?
which is how the third thought that buck has upon his best friend exposing a vulnerable part of himself to buck is the suddenly thuddingly obvious fact that he is, in fact, in love with eddie.
"buck?" eddie says, effectively interrupting his fourth thought ('oh, fuck.'). his eyes are big and brown and vulnerable. buck shoves the thoughts to the back of his mind. there are more important things to deal with right now.
"oh, eddie," he says, pulling eddie into a hug. eddie melts against him, all warmth. buck's stupid, recently oblivious heart thuds. "thanks for telling me, man."
eddie sniffles a little into his chest. buck tells himself strictly: you will not make this weird.
---
buck makes things weird.
the thing is, buck knows now, right? the barrier between the part of buck that is in love with his best friend and the part of buck that is maintaining his perfectly platonic relationship with his best friend has officially shattered, good job, gang, you've broken a perfectly good glass closet. now, all that's standing between buck and acting upon his feelings for his best friend is his ability not to take a leap of faith based on this knowledge.
buck, historically, has not done great at not acting on his knowledge.
to be fair to him, he tries. to be less fair, the attempts are, well--
---
"nice flowers."
buck blinks down at the bouquet in his arms. "shit," he says, eloquently.
ravi raises an eyebrow at him. "what?"
"i...bought flowers."
a slow nod. "you did," ravi says. "did you...not mean to?"
"no, i meant to." just not consciously.
"is it...for someone?"
buck, with his newfound knowledge, can now read the stupid implication in ravi's eyes, the way they dart to the station doors, where eddie thankfully has not driven in yet. buck takes a few steps forward, dumps the bouquet in ravi's arms.
"it's for the loft," he says. "spruce up the station, a little. it's looking a bit drab around here. can you put those in a vase for me?"
before ravi can reply, he runs to the locker room. as he does, he can hear ravi's voice muttering: "what vase?"
later, as eddie comes up the staircase: "ooh, are those irises? i love irises."
ravi stares at buck. buck does not stare back.
---
"huh," eddie says, looking around. "they gave us a nice table."
buck winces. the reservation confirmation text burns a hole in his pants pocket.
"ha ha, yeah, what a nice coincidence," buck says, as if he didn't put 'window seat, nice view, good for a first date' in the request section when he was making the reservation. he thinks he blacked out a little.
a server comes over, and buck reflexively orders both of their favorites, and the exact menu items that made him think of eddie when he saw the place online. eddie raises an eyebrow at him. buck coughs.
"did your research, huh, bud?"
"uh, yeah," buck says. is he sweating? he's sweating. fuck. fuck. abort. "did you know that axolotls ingest small stones to break down their food?"
a beat. then eddie smiles his indulgent smile, and buck thanks every deity and also bobby for his longstanding and totally unsuspicious tendency to bring up random facts at inopportune times.
at the end of the night, buck pays the bill. he tries not to think about his credit score.
---
the third time is when the jig, as they say, is up.
it's stupidly normal, is the thing. buck and eddie are sitting on the couch together, chris asleep in buck's guest room that he insists is not secretly just christopher's room wearing a fake mustache. there's a basketball game playing on tv, which means that buck is not at his best, cognitively speaking.
he blames this for what happens when eddie, perfectly oblivious and beautiful and on buck's couch, says: "hey buck, can you get me another beer?"
and buck, without thinking, says: "sure, babe."
the room pauses. some guy throws a ball to another guy on the television screen. eddie, uncharacteristically, is not looking at the sweaty men run into each other. he's looking at buck.
buck, who's mouth keeps running without his permission.
"bbbbbbbest friend. i meant best friend. my best friend eddie. my. my cool bud. my totally normal--"
"buck?"
eddie's voice is soft, and when buck takes a break from word-vomiting to look at him, his eyes are big and brown and awed, shining. buck's heart thumps again. okay. fuck. fine.
"i was gonna ease you into it," buck complains, throwing his head back.
eddie's mouth twitches a little. his eyes are so, so bright. "into...babe territory?"
"into-- you know, eddie," buck pouts at him, and eddie actually giggles.
"i don't know that i do, babe," eddie beams at him. "it looks like you're trying to backdoor me into a relationship, buck."
buck splutters. "i'm-- that's-- i'm doing the opposite of that! i'm front-dooring you! i was-- i was trying to wait a reasonable amount of time before asking you out on a date! it's rude if i just--"
"reserved one of the hottest restaurants in LA and got us date night seats without telling me?" eddie finishes, teasing.
"that was an accident."
eddie snorts, and it is unfortunately very charming. "you asked me out by accident?"
buck flaps his hands helplessly. "i was trying to be normal! but-- i just-- i can't help it!" he insists. "what-- am i supposed to just-- know that you're an option, and just-- not go for it? do you know me?"
that makes eddie laugh fully, head tilted back, hair falling loose over his forehead. buck sways into his orbit, caught the way he always is. eddie tugs at the hem of his shirt, and buck pouts as he crawls over eddie, knees bracketing his hips.
"i do you know, baby," eddie says, all warmth. "which is why i was hoping you'd make the first move."
buck's mouth falls open. "you--" he accuses. "you manipulator."
eddie shrugs. "you're the one who takes the leap," he says, cupping buck's face. it is, unfortunately, impossible to stay mad at eddie ever, let alone when he's holding buck. "i'm the one that has your back, remember?"
buck blinks rapidly. "fuck," he says. "i love you so much." immediately after, he exhales. "oh my god. you have no idea how much of a relief it is to finally say it. i thought i was gonna explode."
eddie giggles, drags him in for a kiss. "thank you for trying your best, sweetheart," he says, pressing his smiling mouth to buck's jaw. "you're a very nice boyfriend."
buck hums with satisfaction. "i am, aren't i?"
"even when you refuse to actually let me know that you're being my boyfriend."
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