Working things out @h0sted-blog - Tumblr Blog

The trigger is gone now and the system is doing much better

Now that I’ve calmed down, I realised that there’s a MAJOR trigger going on right now for us, so that might be what’s happening here.

weirdly it seems I knew who may was when I first fronted.

#also my typing style seems different #could just be my phones auto-correct and auto capital thing

(sorry on tags before I meant maisey not may)

Update: I’m pretty sure K and Maya went M.I.A before h0st did.

#did I form during the alter purge? hello!!!!#they could have all integrated to make me but #that doesn't seem right #although I do have some of their memories were Maisey doesn't

May went to the bank and forgot our email and then I started fronting at the milkshake stop

#?#log #in-case I'm forgetting stuff #I don't remember much of the bank #just #may begging someone else to front #the only system contact that hasn't been me or may in two/three days was a black-out front that only lasted a few seconds / minutes and #that was someone fetching a pillow from the floor #so not much info #mute alter was here for the first day #are we integrating like 4 days into our system blog or something

Most of the system has gone and I have no idea why.

#you might have noticed that the lost post was tagged with h0st but that was bc idk #I thought If I claimed to be h0st she'd be co-con #I think she's been gone since the mute alter fronted #then I (?) fronted and then may and then back to me #I was front-stuck and felt sick first time fronting #and now I'm front-stuck and don't feel sick #k and h0st are gone and cherry has been dormant for a while #I'm not sure about Maya or the mute alter #mute was here but after her and I were co-con after I first started fronting she's been MIA

unwelcome-ozian

#@ my sister #she thinks that now she's been diagnosed with bpd it erases years of her abusing me #and I'm actually the evil one of course!!!#?

keithmcclains

psa: different people with the same mental illness will act different. Two people can have bpd and be VERY different. two people with anxiety can be different. the point is, stop acting like someone with a mental disorder or illness has to be a cookie cutter of the symptoms. not. everyone. is. the. same.

#!!!#important #?

delusioninabox

Daily #2,185! One step. All you have to do today is take one step.

#positivity #?

bpdirt

me: what the hell is wrong with me brain: here’s a repressed memory that explains a lot of things me: Well Lock It Back Up?? Did I Ask For All That????

Not sure if I'm actually getting sick or it is just from switching

#?#can't eat atm #if it was from switching #I'd think that I could reach the rest of the system #but nope only co-con with h0st #I think #but I'm not sure #idk who I am

unwelcome-ozian

Transition from one personality to another is referred to as “switching.” This usually occurs within seconds to minutes, but can also be gradual, taking hours or days to complete. This is rarer. Switching is often prompted by stress in the individual’s life, or by the person’s own intrapsychic conflict, such as vague memories of abuse. Switching can also be brought on by alters who are in conflict with one another, which happens quite frequently. They will have different ideas about the way life should be lived, relationships conducted, how much to trust someone, or whether or not to take a medication.

#info #d.i.d #?

aether--system

A print that describes the “bleeding ears” feeling of dissociation

#this is a thing???#I thought it was just me!#?

ivorysystem

#may & host & k #?

unwelcome-ozian

“When I came face to face with my dissociative identity disorder, I had those same questions: Who is the “real me”? Which one is in charge? How will I ever know? Will I ever find out which one of “me” is the original one? And I got really invested in thinking about all of that. So much so that you could say it became yet another escape. The “original me” quest however, became very important to me as I began this healing journey. I found out that all of them were me. Each fragmented self had arrived to protect me or to take the feelings and handle the fears for me. Each one held its own memories and had its own triggers. Each one had the job of protecting me from the memories, pain and trauma so that I could survive. Some alters were male, some were children, one was much older then I was. They took care of me. That was their job. And although I had only had glimpses of the original me, the original me was the sum of all parts.” Darlene Ouimet

orange-khaos

Tryin to sneak something by your alters when you’re co-con

the-pixel-system-deactivated201

When the system doesn’t like the host’s fashion:

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