i would like to point out the “you wanna go for the title” scene is still the gayest thing to have happened in bucks kitchen, and he made out with a man in there.
“trying to get your attention has been exhausting” and yet arguably the most exhausting thing he did was lift insanely heavy weights to try and make eddie look at him but…. oh wait tommy actually wasn’t there for that so who’s attention are we really vying for here buck?
he is using every chance he can to tell people that you’re his wife, there is absolutely no hiding the marriage.
he proposes the idea of getting eloped about a month and a half after proposing because he genuinely can’t wait to be married to you.
after first you feel bad because you want your friends and family to be part of the big day but then you say fuck it, and the two of you are running to city hall as soon as it opens the next day.
after the elopement, you don’t really tell anyone aside from close family and then you guys take your honeymoon, i feel like chris would fly you to somewhere like greece or paris or london because it’s romantic and he wants you to have that movie-esque honeymoon.
y’all are fucking everywhere you possibly can on the honeymoon
when you guys get back from your month long honeymoon, you guys throw a big informal wedding type-party with all your friends x family and announce the elopement publicly for the first time.
he’s treating the entire marriage as if it’s the newlywed stage, like he’s the type of husband who still flirts with you and pursued you as if he literally didn’t lock it down with a ring. he never wants you to feel like he doesn’t want or love you.
he decides that once you guys are married, that he wants to move into a house with you and begin the new chapter and try for a family.
which leads to him constantly trying to consummate the marriage everywhere in the new house. matt and nick refuse to visit until you and chris have hired a cleaning service to “disinfect” the house.
he’s a very big believer of the saying “happy wife, happy life.” which means he’s giving and getting you everything you want without hesitation and refuses to let you decline anything.
dad!chris headcanons!
chris is a boy dad without question, but that’s not to say he wouldn’t adore his future daughter, that little girl would have him wrapped around her finger.
he’d bring up the idea of a family after about a month of living together and you’d be relieved because you had found out you were pregnant two weeks prior, you just weren’t ready to say anything yet.
the second you tell him you’re pregnant, he’s on his knees pressing kisses to your stomach before he’s resting his head against it with his arms tightly wrapped around you and he’s nearly sobbing, he’s just excited and unbelievably happy that his dreams of having his own little family are coming true.
he’s with you at every appointment and cries again when you find out you’re having a baby boy.
he’s getting baby grayson his first pair of jordans without question.
he lets you design the nursery because he feels a bit bad that he took wedding planning away from you when you guys got eloped.
him and matt build the dresser, changing table, crib, rocking chair, everything while you’re out with mary-lou, nick, and your mom buying baby clothes.
when you see that all the furniture is put together, the pregnancy hormones kick in and you’re sobbing in his arms, thanking him for it and he’s shushing you and telling you that you don’t need to thank him for doing the bare minimum.
he had the to-go bags packed the day after you told him you were pregnant, he had everything you need and want in yours, and completely overpacked the baby’s to-go bag because he couldn’t sleep the night you told him.
the moment you go into labour, he’s got the car ready to go and he’s calling nick and matt as soon as you’ve been checked into the hospital.
while you’re waiting until you’re fully dilated, he’s getting you ice, wiping your forehead, holding your hand, he’s very doting while you’re sitting there waiting to give birth because he feels bad that you’re in pain because he did that to you.
the second he hears grayson’s first cries, he’s got tears streaming down his face. once you and grayson are cleaned up and decently rested, he’s running out to the waiting room and collapses in his brothers’ arms saying “we’ve got a healthy baby boy.”
he refuses to wear a shirt when holding grayson, he’s a full believer in skin to skin contact being an important bonding factor.
he’s so helpful, he refuses to be one of those dads that don’t get up when the baby cries and he’s doing a lot of the midnight feedings if you’re not breastfeeding.
if you are breastfeeding, he’s doing everything he can to make you comfortable and he’s always going to grab grayson from the bassinet at the foot of your bed.
he feels so heartbroken when grayson is teething.
he is so interested in the types of foods that grayson is trying out when he is weaned off milk.
he gets his brothers to do a baby food challenge on their channel and it’s one of the only times that grayson is featured on the channel because he loves his uncles and they make him laugh.
grayson has you, chris, nick, and matt completely wrapped around his finger. he gets whatever he wants from all of you because he is the first baby out of the group and everyone spoils him.
he grows up with the coolest family, he’s always sporting some sort of merch from his parents’ and uncles fav artists to sturniolo merch and flesh love that the triplets created as the announcement of chris being a father.
all in all, chris’ baby would be so incredibly loved, spoiled, well mannered, respectful, and all around the coolest baby in the fucking world.
Coming back to say that this went in a completely different direction than I imagined, but I’m just gonna keep it.
Obsessed with the idea of Steve trying to be Eddie’s wingman.
Like one day Eddie is lingering around Family Video and Steve notices a girl eyeing his friend. And yeah, Eddie is cute, Steve isn’t afraid to admit that, but he’s never seen him even attempt to ask a girl out. So he decides it’s time to maybe encourage him or do it for him.
So, Steve follows this girl over to the horror section - and look at that, similar interests! - and notes that Eddie is following behind him. And yeah, the girl is pretty cute, she even has some metal looking band on her t-shirt that Steve is sure Eddie mentioned to him before. Oh! They’re definitely on the mixtape Eddie made for him. This is perfect.
So, Steve taps on the girl’s shoulder and smiles when he notices her staring at Eddie over his shoulder. “Excuse me, I was wondering if you needed any help.”
The girl replies in a higher voice than Steve expected, “Oh… I… I don’t know.” Jackpot. She’s utterly enamored by Eddie. And yeah, she should be when he’s wearing his hair in that messy bun and those jeans that fit just right.
Steve takes a moment to think about how well those jeans fit before shaking himself out of it. Weird. But he has a mission. “Well, my friend here knows all there is to know about horror movies, so I’ll let him help you.”
Steve gives Eddie a quick pat on the shoulder, noting how adorable he is when he looks panicked. He goes back to the counter and watches as the girl nervously twirls her hair around her finger, then she’s loudly laughing and Eddie looks startled. Steve tries to suppress a laugh.
Then the girl is picking a movie and thanking Eddie for his help while trailing a hand down his arm. Steve’s stomach churns. Must’ve had something bad for lunch or something, but that doesn’t explain why he feels so… angry with himself. He’ll deal with that later. But now the girl is rushing to the counter.
Steve notices Eddie lingering in the horror section, likely a little flustered by the whole interaction. So Steve winks at the girl and says, “So, I see my friend was a great help to you.”
The girl giggles in response and leans forward. “Does your friend have plans tomorrow night?” she asks then bites her lip.
“With you at nine o’clock? Absolutely. I’ll give him your number in case he needs to reschedule.”
The girl scribbles down her number on a notepad Steve hands her then they exchange notepad for her tape. “Have a goodnight!” Steve yells after her and looks down at the note. Why does he want to rip it to shreds? The front door shuts.
“What the hell was that?” Eddie asks and Steve jumps not realizing he was at the counter.
“I was helping you out, man. Being your wingman.” Steve shrugs it off and starts organizing the returns in piles by genre, struggling to find why Eddie is so pissed at him.
“Maybe let me decide who I want to ask out, Harrington,” Eddie bites out, shoving the tapes to the side.
What the hell? And Harrington? He hasn’t heard that in a while. And something about it pisses Steve off. “Well, Munson, if you actually went on dates then I wouldn’t feel the need to help you.”
“Help me,” Eddie scoffs. “I’m not some damsel in distress that needs saving King Steve.”
“Don’t call me that,” Steve says turning around to try to look busy at the computer so Eddie doesn’t see the way the name gets to him.
Eddie hops over the counter as Steve is typing the girl’s name into the system and finding her past rentals. “Why not? King Steve can’t help but try to save The Freak. Why not just call it as it is?”
Steve turns around and runs a hand through his hair. “Why are you getting so worked up about this? It’s just a date!”
“I’ve never been on a date, you asshole! And I certainly wouldn’t want to go on one with a girl because I want to go on one with you!” Eddie yells then the color drains from his face as he must realize what he’s just admitted.
Steve freezes to process what Eddie’s just said. But then Eddie’s backing up and saying, “I have to go.” He turns to jump over the counter again, but Steve comes to his senses and latches onto his wrist stopping him.
Eddie slowly turns to him and whispers, “Please, don’t hate me.”
“I could never hate you, Eddie,” Steve says still latching onto his wrist. “Just… give me a minute, and please don’t run.”
Eddie reluctantly nods at him as Steve lets go of his wrist. His eyes flicker to the door, but his feet remain in place.
Steve stares at him and processes. Eddie wants to go on a date with him. Okay. He’s had girls who have had a crush on him before that wasn’t reciprocated, and he easily turned them down. Some of them he even remained sort of friends with.
But for some reason the news is making his heart race in a good way. Like… a really good way. Almost like he wants to go on a date with Eddie. But he’s… not gay. Right?
His eyes slowly roam over Eddie, and then he stops when he realizes he’s blatantly checking him out. But when has that stopped him from checking out his friend before?
Oh. Oh shit. He thinks about the way he notices the fit of his jeans, and the way he loves when Eddie pushes the sleeves of his shirt up to expose more skin. He thinks about how he’s always been curious what it would be like for girls to kiss Eddie when he’s let his scruff slightly grow in. But then he imagines what it would be like for him to experience that. And his world kind of combusts.
He likes Eddie. Like really likes him. Not just physically but like, he loves the way he scrunches his nose up at the music Steve plays but sometimes reluctantly sings along. He loves the way his lame jokes make the corner of Eddie’s eyes crinkle. He loves that bright smile he gets on his face whenever he’s messing around with the kids. He loves whenever Eddie comes by the store and lingers for as long as he can just to keep him company.
He thinks back to the way he felt when the girl traced her hand over his arm, and the way the thought of Eddie using her number to call her made him feel… jealous. Holy shit. Oh he’s such an idiot. But an idiot who can make amends.
He notices how Eddie is practically shaking while Steve has just been standing there not saying anything. He needs to fix this. “Are you free tomorrow at nine?”
A look of betrayal crosses over Eddie’s face. “I’m not going on a date with that girl. You can’t make me straight-”
“No! That’s not… shit. That’s not at all what I meant,” Steve huffs out and runs a hand through his hair. He’s messing this up more. Shit. Okay, here it goes. “I’m asking if you’re free tomorrow to see if you can go on a date… with me.”
Now it’s Eddie turn to freeze and process. A few excruciatingly long seconds later Eddie is responding, “Are you kidding me?” Steve’s heart drops to his stomach. Eddie continues, “You’re asking me out before I got the chance to?”
Steve can’t help but burst out laughing. Eddie joins him but between laughs he says, “I’m serious! This is unfair!” For some reason this makes Steve laugh harder, and soon enough he’s wiping tears from his eyes as Eddie looks at him fondly.
“You’re free tomorrow at nine though, right?” Steve asks.
“No, but are you free tomorrow at nine o one to go on a date with me?” Eddie asks and Steve is cackling all over again.
The bell to the front door rings and Robin enters. She looks at the two and asks, “What the hell did I miss during my break? I was only gone for fifteen minutes.”
This only manages to make Steve laugh more as Eddie joins him.
Steve refuses to tell the kids his middle name. He’s fights them off after El figures out that middle names are a thing and demands everyone to tell her if they have one. And usually when it comes to El, Steve gives in immediately. But he just knows this information will come back to bite him in the ass. So he refuses.
But then they go to Nancy trying to pry the information out of her, but she reveals that she has no idea what it is - ouch but what a relief. Next up is Robin who also reveals she has no idea, and then she joins in on trying to get it out of him.
With the girls on their side, Steve is slightly terrified, but still unwilling to give up the information. He thinks they’ll let it go… but then they’re showing up at his house suspiciously only for Steve to find out that they’re trying to find his birth certificate. That’s when Eddie gets roped into things.
And the thing about Eddie is that he’s curious of course. What could Steve’s middle name possibly be which is so horrendous he won’t even tell Robin? But he respects the man’s privacy. If he wants to keep it to himself then so be it… But Eddie wants to know.
So he starts developing his own plans - without telling the kids or the girls. He thinks getting Steve drunk or high off his ass is probably a bit too manipulative. But maybe he can gain the guy’s trust.
So he starts coming along, pretending like he’s going to help as the kids dig and dig for the information. Steve is always somehow there, even when the kids start looking through the records at the library because some of them needed a ride. But Eddie sticks with Steve, talking to him about anything other than his name - the kids are convinced that Eddie is doing a great job distracting Steve.
And maybe he is, but he slowly forgets any type of ulterior motives when he’s talking to Steve. It’s a blessing and a curse being in the presence of the man.
But then it happens. Steve casually invites Eddie to hang out sometime, and that’s exactly when Eddie will bring up the middle name thing.
When the day comes, Eddie finds himself thoroughly distracted by Steve’s thigh which is pressing against his while they watch a movie. And there’s a large space next to Steve on the couch, but he chose to sit where his is now. It’s a big deal really.
“I’m gonna grab a Coke, do you want anything?”
Eddie asks for a Coke as well, hoping it serves as something to ground him as he hangs out alone with Steve Something Harrington. That’s the moment he remembers the plan. Shit, he’s supposed to be asking him stuff that casually leads to the reveal of his middle name. Easy.
No it isn’t. How the hell is he going to… Eddie glances at the coffee table in front of them to find… Steve’s wallet. Steve’s wallet containing his driver’s license. Steve’s wallet containing his driver’s license containing his full government name.
Oh this is good. This is really good. How have the kids not managed to think of this yet?
Eddie quickly snatches the wallet, opening it to find the driver’s license in a clear pocket. Okay, time to finally learn what’s been gnawing at his brain for days now, and then he’ll never have to tell Steve about it. Ever.
He squints his eyes and reads the name. Then he rereads it. Then he rereads it again.
Steven Edward Harrington
“Edward?!” Eddie yells, cringing at the fact he’s saying his government name.
Steve races into the room, two Cokes in hand and eyes wide as can be. Eddie doesn’t even have time to hide the wallet or any evidence of what he’s been doing. Well. Shit.
“Of course you were on their side,” Steve sighs, a look of betrayal crosses his face. Eddie’s gut twists.
“No, no. Okay, I’ll admit that I was curious, but I was going to find out and just put that secret away in my brain forever. But is my name really so bad?”
Steve turns a bit red as he admits, “I wasn’t hiding it for that reason.”
“Then what are you hiding it for?”
“Because… because…” He sets the two soda cans down with a thud before blurting out, “I thought you’d be making a bigger deal out of it! I thought the kids would make jokes about me having your name. Or you would tell me something along the lines of ‘You already have my middle name, why not take me last name?’ And I was not prepared to deal with that!” Steve rushes out, a hand runs through his hair before he settles his hands on his hips.
That… definitely wasn’t what Eddie was expecting but he can’t help but flirt, “You’re putting words in my mouth, sweetheart, but I can say them if you’d like.”
Steve sighs and points at him. “Exactly that! It just makes me get feel so…”
Eddie tenses up and quietly questions, “Disgusted?”
“Flustered!” Steve replies instantly.
It takes him a moment to process, but then Eddie is standing up and making his way over to Steve with a smile. “I make Steven Edward Harrington flustered?”
Steve rolls his eyes but the small smile and blush rising to his cheeks give him away. “I’m going to change my name,” Steve states.
“And take my last name?” Eddie teases, and Steve lightly shoves at him.
“Buy me dinner first, Edward.”
“How about a kiss first?” Eddie asks with an obnoxiously large grin. It’s immediately wiped when Steve leans in, and Eddie’s eyes flutter shut.
“I’m not that easy,” Steve whispers so close that his lips brush against Eddie’s before he pulls away. “Come on, let’s finish the movie.”
When Eddie’s feet are able to move again, he finds himself sitting even closer to Steve than before, but this time Steve’s hand curling around his is the most distracting thing besides the thought that Steven Edward Munson has a nice ring to it.
“always the goddamn babysitter!” @h4rringtonsworld - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag