habitualhawk

Cruel Habits

Hawk,

You’ve never heard church it up before?! Maybe it’s an American saying? Or maybe it’s just something I say!

Not a student. Perfect.

I think I’d give myself away if I mention my profession. Isn’t that fabulous though. We are known for what we do.

I just recently went back to school for some high education. I also have a few jobs but they are more career choices and not really a job…job. I don’t work for a living I just work be successful.

You need to watch white lotus! I just put on the first season for the second time last night!

Are you going to this ball? I really hope to see you there. I was very happy to see your name on my email this morning Hawk.

- Cruel

@habitualhawk

Cruel,

no I can't say that I have. But it does seem like something that could be a uniquely American phrase.

I suppose it's nice to be known for what you do. For me it's a bit of a mixed blessing right now, but it sounds like you love what you do which is great.

I see. I think. You don't need to work for a living, or is it more that you love what you do enough that it doesn't feel like working for a living?

I'll look into it. I haven't had a lot of time for new shows recently, but I might be able to take the time soon.

I will probably be there, yes. I feel like I haven't had the chance to get a sense of you yet Cruel. But I appreciate being able to write to you.

~ habitualhawk ~

@cruelolivine

#cruelolivine

A Timely Interaction || HabitualRolex

Dear habitualhawk,

I've certainly been a little more open with my relationships recently. And that isn't to say I won't ever be happy to settle down in a closed relationship but... I don't know. I'm figuring out a lot about myself.

That sounds like a really nice way to spend time together. It sounds like you and your mom were very close.

It's fun to know but I know its not all that impressive to send a card into your pocket when there are people who can actually teleport.

That's true. I guess that makes sense haha. I didn't think about it that way really.

Currently, I hate whenever I have to go out in this freezing weather. I'll be much happier when its spring again.

Do you have a favourite season?

Sincerely,

Wisteriarolex @habitualhawk

Dear Wisteriarolex,

I understand. Everyone is at a different point in their lives. I don't know if I could be open with mine, but I do understand that not everyone is where I am.

We are very close still. Just, unfortunately, the distance now is great since I've moved to this town. She does come and visit at least, so we do still get to have some of those moments.

Well if it helps, I can neither send a card into your pocket nor teleport. I'm rather ordinary in those terms. But that's okay with me. I am who I am and overall pretty proud of that.

The winter weather can definitely leave something to be desired. I also prefer warmer seasons. It's hard to go for a jog when things get slushy or icy depending on how it is with the snow.

I think... maybe summer or fall. I don't know. Summer is nice and warm...sometimes hot sure but I feel like there are a lot of fun activities to enjoy in the season.

Sincerely, habitualhawk

@wisteriarolex

#wisteriarolex

Hawk Story

storyacoustic

Dear habitualhawk,

Well, congratulations on the promotion. Unless this isn't a congratulations type thing...either way, I am sure you'll do well once you get into it. You seem to be a determined person, which I appreciate.

I think it is really admirable to admit that you may not know who you are or what you want. I totally understand going through a big change and needing to re-evaluate how things are going. That doesn't necessarily put me off. Especially because I can tell you are still motivated and ambitious.

Everyone is always growing and changing, if you ask me.

storyacoustic

@habitualhawk

Storyacoustic,

Thank you. No it's a good thing overall? Just happened in weird circumstances I guess. Hard to explain. But it's been a lot of information and work to adjust to. I am a very determined person, it's true. I do believe it'll turn out well once I get it all sorted.

I'm glad it doesn't put you off. Not knowing some of those things doesn't mean I don't have some sense of where I want to end up. And you're right. I think life is all about change.

How has this email experience been feeling for you overall? If you don't mind my asking. We're getting closer to the reveal which is somehow both exciting and nerve wracking.

~ habitualhawk ~

#storyacoustic

A Timely Interaction || HabitualRolex

Dear habitualhawk,

I try my best to be because I know people sometimes require patience to deal with me.

I also don’t really have any sort of timetable either. I don’t really know what I’m looking for as it comes to type of relationship. I feel as though so far my sense of it all has been a little unconventional.

I think that sounds like a great way to spend time with each other. Not to mention we’d be making something together which is always a nice bonus.

I hope to get to try it someday. I’m sure it’s amazing<3

I don’t have anything that I would call my specialty, especially not with cooking. I guess I’m good with people. I also know a few sleight of hand type ‘magic’ tricks haha. Nothing to write home about though 😆

Is there anything that you absolutely can’t stand cooking?

Sincerely,

Wisteriarolex

@habitualhawk

Dear Wisteriarolex,

Can I ask what kind of unconventional? Or that is to say, what kind of unconventional are you interested in?

Exactly. There's something so comforting and nice I think about cooking with someone. My mom and I would do it often and it was perhaps my favorite way to spend time with her.

Hey magic tricks are interesting. And it's definitely a unique skill to have. Not something I could claim to know anything about really.

I don't think I have anything like that? But I mean... the benefit of cooking for yourself is that you get to make only the things you really enjoy. This would be a problem if I didn't like vegetables or something and didn't have balance, but since I do I think it all works out just fine.

Do you have anything you really dislike doing?

Sincerely, habitualhawk

@wisteriarolex

#wisteriarolex

~SpaceHawk

Habit Hawk,

Yeah, I've learned through this whole e-mail experience that I can get a pretty nice fan club.

I don't know really. Some people are still a little bit of a mystery to me but I think the people I'm most curious about are probably the most promising.

Have you found anyone for your very-serious-done-fucking-around relationship? ;p

-SM

SM,

that doesn't surprise me. You seem like a pretty likable person. So I hope you have brought together a pretty good fan club.

I get that. There are still a few people I've found harder to read or get a sense of what they might want.

I might have? But it's hard to say without actually meeting them in person as well. There's only so much that emails can do after all.

~ habitualhawk ~

@spacesuitmocha

Hawk Story

storyacoustic

Dear habitualhawk,

Thank you, that is very kind. The same goes to you.

Though, I suppose what I want to say is wrapped up in your question too. In that I am very busy with work. It takes up a lot of my time. Unfortunately, I do think my ambitions have to stay out of reach for now. It just wouldn't really be feasible for me to focus on such a massive project anytime soon.

Which is fine, because I find my work meaningful.

However, it means I am often unavailable. My schedule is unpredictable. So, that would need to be taken into consideration with anyone looking to pursue something with me.

What about you?

storyacoustic

@habitualhawk

Dear storyacoustic,

Ahhh I see. I'm glad you have a job that makes you feel that fulfilled. I still feel like I'm just getting a handle on my job. I got promoted not too long ago and it's been a bit of an adjustment. But I understand a hectic and unpredictable schedule. Mine can also be somewhat unpredictable because the demands of the day can be so varied.

And I think... honestly I've had to really think hard about what to say to you as far as what's the most important thing to know about me. And I guess my answer is that I haven't been able to really figure myself out for the past few months because life really has thrown a few big curveballs. So maybe this question is a bit tough for me. But I guess the main thing I'd want someone to know through that is that I'm pretty tough, and can handle a lot that comes my way. So if there's ever any big concern that you have that you think I couldn't handle... I believe I probably could.

I don't know. I was writing and re-writing that answer because I guess I'm still sort of getting to know who I am now after everything I've been dealing with. Does that make sense?

~ habitualhawk ~

@storyacoustic

#storyacoustic

narrativefinish

Dear habitualhawk,

My parents were wonderful in many ways and I loved them both very much. But I always had to negotiate for my father's attention. It was only ever on his terms. My mother did her best to balance that out, but it means I am hoping for something a little different than that. It's wonderful to sound like that's what you're looking for as well.

That's very kind of you. I wish I could say that I'm doing it on purpose, but I'm enjoying writing with you as well so I suppose that is what's coming through.

I've rarely had the opportunity to speak as myself without other people having an idea of what I should be like or what I should be saying. I think that's what I mean by it feeling freeing. I know once we meet in person, it'll be easier to speak more openly but I can also see that moment where all of those expectations come into play again. It's why I'm looking forward to meeting you and also nervous about it.

But if there are other questions you have, I'll do my best to answer them.

Sincerely,

Narrativefinish

@habitualhawk

Dear Narrativefinish,

I've never related to a paragraph more than when I read yours about your parents. Many things...no most things with my father were a lot like you described. Trying to find some moments for his attention or interest. And definitely always on his terms. My mother was and is still very caring, but it's a hardship that sticks with me and definitely makes me want to work toward something better for the family I choose to have with my partner. I'm really glad we're aligned in this way.

I can understand that. In reality the people around you will always find ways to push their opinions on you. And there might be expectations from those around us, but my only hope is that we can connect as well in person as we have like this through our emails. And even if there were no spark (though I don't think that'll be the case), I would still be glad to be your friend.

I guess my next question for you is this: what would you consider to be your love language? What would make you feel the most connected or supported?

Sincerely, habitualhawk

@narrativefinish

#narrativefinish

You’ve got mail || habitualfig

Dear @habitualhawk,

I'm not really sure, to be honest. I've definitely been matched with some people I've enjoyed talking to, but I don't know if I just haven't felt a spark or if it's just difficult to find that via email, if you know what I mean? I suppose time will tell.

Well, thank you for being honest and upfront about it - I guess that's another reason why emails work so well. It's easier to be upfront, isn't it? Personally, I recently tried the hook up thing and I wasn't great at it. So, no - I don't think I'm looking for a fling or a situationship or anything. I'd certainly be open to something long term, and I think that's maybe what I'm hoping for, but I'm also not looking to rush into any big commitments. My last relationship didn't end so well, and I guess that's making me want to tread a little bit lighter, if that makes sense?

~ heartwarmingfig

Dear heartwarmingfig,

I do. It's really hard to get a tone or a sense of where the other person is through this medium. I guess there's no real way of knowing until you meet them in person too.

I personally think so, yes. I don't want to keep things back, and anyway if we're not interested in the same things then isn't it easier to know it right away? If we can? I do think being upfront with these emails especially is helpful.

Of course. Everything worth having takes time to build. And it makes sense why you would want to be a bit more careful with yourself if that happened. I'm a fairly cautious person myself, but knowing at least that we both would be hoping for something more long term... that's already a nice sign to me. It at least means we'd be somewhere on the same page.

What's something you like to do in your free time?

Sincerely, habitualhawk

@heartwarmingfig

#heartwarmingfig

Cruel Habits

Hawk,

I love a little rapid fire! Always fun to give people a quick question so no time to think!

Cauliflower is just so bland and when people decide to church it up with buffalo sauce…you can’t fool me I know it’s just white mush under that zesty goodness! I rather just eat the chicken wing!

Ooo not British and not American! Intriguing!

I think we are doing great!

Favorite movie The Parent Trap. Favorite show Gossip Girl. Favorite book well I can’t remember the name but it was fabulous and about two single who met on vacation. It was giving white lotus without the murder!

So profession? Student?

- Cruel

@habitualhawk

Cruel,

It definitely does give a little insight a bit more quickly.

Church it up... I'll admit I've never heard that phrasing. But I suppose I can't blame you there either. I'd never thought to combine cauliflower that way.

Oh no, definitely not a student. Long past that stage for me. I'd say my profession but I do think it'd be a dead giveaway to my identity so I'll have to keep that to myself for now. But I do have a job that keeps me pretty busy.

I don't know if I have one favorite movie I can pick out specifically. But I did really like the shows Mad Men and The Crown. I guess I like some of that historical stuff. I don't think I've seen White Lotus yet but I heard it was good.

What about you? Are you a student? Or working?

~ habitualhawk ~

@cruelolivine

#cruelolivine

Hawk Story

storyacoustic

Dear habitualhawk,

Very kind of you to offer. We will see. England has quite a few laws around it, they haven't exactly embraced it the way other countries have. They argue it causes more addiction than it solves. But that is what happens when people make laws without fully understanding the issue at hand.

Whoops, on my soapbox again.

Similarly, I think your idea is really brilliant. Safe houses and educational programmes are great for something like that. A lot of times, people need a place to go when they are getting out of a bad situation. Definitely could always use more of those in society. It is very admirable. Again, I want to say I wish there was a way I could help you achieve that goal.

Maybe if we put our heads together, we could come up with something for both of us. :)

storyacoustic

@habitualhawk

Dear storyacoustic,

Hey, as I said, I appreciate the soapbox. It's really nice to see that you're so passionate about these things. And who knows, maybe one day it will happen. Things change all the time. Safe houses and programs would be nice to make happen. There's so much bad in the world that it would be nice to be able to do something about it.

But who knows? As you said, with our minds coming together we could come up with something pretty impressive. It could be nice to see. In fact, I'd love it if I could see it come to fruition.

But in the meantime, what's something you think someone should really know about you before trying to pursue anything?

~ habitualhawk ~

@storyacoustic

#storyacoustic

~SpaceHawk

Habitual hawk,

Hey, I'd rather have a hawk support me than a hawk against me. Those talons are no joke.

-SM

@habitualhawk

SM,

That's true. They can be pretty intense. Either way, you've got one person rooting for you guaranteed.

Have you had any other interesting match ups?

~ habitualhawk ~

You’ve got mail || habitualfig

Dear @habitualhawk

It's good that you could do that, though! I think the email format kind of lends itself to that, doesn't it? If it's obvious it wouldn't work, no hard feelings, no awkwardness. Neither of you know one another, so who cares?

I agree with you, though. I think it's hard to know what'll happen, or what I even want, until the big reveal at the end. I did come into this whole thing just hoping to meet some new people, hopefully have a few sparks with someone, so I'm mostly just keeping my options open. Which is honestly a challenge in itself, as I usually like to be quite decisive.

Since we're starting so late in the game, what would you say is the most important thing for me to know about you right away?

~ heartwarmingfig

Dear heartwarmingfig,

Exactly. I feel like it's a good way to get a sense of things without it immediately getting more awkward or unpleasant.

Having options is good, of course. Have you met anyone that you felt you might have a bit of that spark with yet? Or are you unsure. It's okay either way, I'm just curious.

I think the most important thing to know about me is that I've done the hook up thing before in the past and I'm not really interested in something super casual at this point. I want to just be straightforward and honest about that, because I know other people might be looking for something else.

What about you?

Sincerely, habitualhawk

@heartwarmingfig

#heartwarmingfig

Cruel Habits

Hawk,

I am so happy to be paired with you! I am hope I’m not too forward here. 😅

Messaging so quickly but I really am trying to take as much as I can from this experience!

So I know the lovely organizers have come up with prompts and they are great I also think just going with the flow works too. Also we can pick and choose what ones we like!

Maybe we can get the easy stuff out of the way!

Single. Looking for love. Love ambition. Favorite colors are cool tones. Life is busy but I always make time for my friends. If I were an animal I’d be…a Doberman with a sparkling crystal collar - yes very specific I know. American. Family does not live here. Hate cauliflower!

☺️☺️☺️

- Cruel

@habitualhawk

Cruel,

not too forward at all!

I understand and I appreciate you reaching out first. But sure, if we want to speed run a few things to get to know each other better by all means.

Also single, though I sort of hope most are that signed up for this. Looking for love as well, a true partnership. I guess my favorite color might be red. If I were an animal... I'm not sure. My symbol right now is a hawk so I guess I'll settle on that. Not American. Not British either. My family also does not live here. And I can't say I hate any food really, but I can understand why cauliflower might not appeal.

How are we doing so far?

~ habitualhawk ~

@cruelolivine

#cruelolivine

~SpaceHawk

Habitualhawk,

You know, even if this isn't ending in Romance. I do think we vibe as friends. Especially since we kind of have been following the same personal path of digging ourselves out of this funk.

-SM

@habitualhawk

SM,

I think so too. I'm happy to continue to support you getting out of the funk no matter how things turn out. You'll have me in your corner. Your supportive hawk so to speak.

~ habitualhawk ~

@spacesuitmocha

You’ve got mail || habitualfig

Dear @habitualhawk

Is it just me, or does it feel a little bit strange to be starting over again mid way into this little experiment? I can’t say I mind, really. Not that it hasn’t been going well, just why not take every opportunity to make a connection if you can?

I hope it’s been going well for you so far, though I suppose maybe not, if we’ve both ended up here. Did you know what you wanted from the mail exchange before you signed up?

Looking forward to hearing from you,

~ heartwarmingfig

Dear heartwarmingfig,

It does feel a bit funny. I've gotten to somewhat know my contacts so far. But at the same time, I also feel as you do. Why not take the opportunity to make another good connection?

It's been going well I think, but it's hard to know how it all will turn out until meeting someone in person. I did. Or at least... I know some things that I want. I did unmatch with someone because of this, as we both definitely wanted something different from each other.

How about you? Did you know what you wanted or are you trying to see what happens?

Sincerely, habitualhawk

@heartwarmingfig

#heartwarmingfig

~SpaceHawk

Habitualhawk,

Yeah, it definitely does. I've met some rich pain in the asses and some poor ones too. Doesn't cost a lot to not be an asshole. I'll reserve my judgement, but this conversation tells me you're a little more down to earth than maybe people think.

I'm sorry you've also been dealing with that shit. Oh yeah, a lot better actually. Trying to get more involved in things has pushed me out of the funk for a little bit at least.

-SM

@habitualhawk

Spacesuitmocha,

Right. I agree with you there. It really doesn't take much effort at all to not be an asshole. I do think so, but you are welcome to make your own judgement if and when we meet.

It is what it is. Hopefully it's all starting to trend upwards for the both of us. I'm glad you've been pushed out of the funk somewhat. I think involving myself in things recently has kind of done the same for me. So that's good. Maybe we're both making some progress.

~ habitualhawk ~