To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides

Dear Spudnik,

I've always loved the idea of romance. The big sweeping gesture, the little touches that make you fel special, the power of someone being able to look into your eyes and say exactly what you want to hear to make your heart swell. I grew up on stories of romance and absorbed them all.

But the thing is, I've been involved with people before who gave me romance, and romance isn't enough on its own. I was with someone once who could say all the right things and make me feel like the center of the world. Up until he was upset about something, and then he had the ability to make me feel like I was nothing at all. I was involved with someone else who knew how to perform romance and all of those rules and standards perfectly, but once the door closed and we didn't have an audience, he typically ignored me until he needed something.

I do feel like I understand romance as a language, but knowing that hasn't changed the fact that we're both here looking for the same thing. Life isn't built up of big gestures. It's everything else.

We don't have to dance if you don't want to. That's always an option. But I hope you'll enjoy this one night.

Sincerely,

Narrative

@lonelyspudnik

Dear Narrative,

Ah, I see. I know what that is like. I have a lot of respect for you, since you stepped into that role. It is not an easy one.

I am not quite sure what it means for this letter event, though. It is certainly the kind of thing that a person would need more details about. Then again, it speaks greatly of your character that you have taken on this responsibility. And it's not necessarily a deal breaker for me-- whether an older relative or a younger one.

So...well, perhaps I shouldn't be so hasty. I do think you sound like a person who I want to get to know more about. I apologize if I have come across hasty or cold-- I suppose this whole thing just makes me very anxious.

Spudnik

Dear Spudnik,

It's fine. It's hard to balance the anonymity with the fact that we want to know people better. On the one hand, I enjoy the fact that we get to speak here without any preconceptions or rumors getting in the way to make it easier to be honest. But moving beyond that point requires trust.

I hope you'll forgive me for holding onto the anonymity for a few more days up until the ball.

Do you mind if I ask you what has made you so anxious about all this? Is there anything I can do to help?

Sincerely,

Narrative

@lonelyspudnik

luminousfungi

Dear narrativefinish,

Yeah, I think it helps that I'm a pretty good listener. I've learned a lot, I just don't know. That instant connection of feeling is easy, you know? The physical attraction and even a bit of an emotional one because I try to be friends with most people I have around casually. But, I guess I just haven't been romantically inspired in a long time?

Aw, that's really nice of you to say. I'm sure I'd love listening to whatever you have to say as well.

Honestly, food. And good music. I have a love affair with both of those things.

What about you?

Warm wishes,

Luminousfungi

@narrativefinish

Dear Luminousfungi,

It sounds to me like you're a little bit in love with everything since you're a little bit in love with life itself. I can see how it would be hard for any one person to compete with that.

Do you have any music recommendations for me?

I suppose my family is one of the great loves of my life. My horse is another, although he's at least good with sharing.

Sincerely,

Narrativefinish

@luminousfungi

#luminousfungi

explosivedoughnut

Dear Narrativefinish,

Well I hope you get to go and find out! Even if you aren't allowed to swim in them, it'd still be pretty to see!

Thanks, I appreciate that. I was afraid I might sound a little weird talking about animals being good company. But they really can be! I'm glad you feel the same way. Have you gotten to interact with animals a lot?

I admire horses the most. They're so loyal and hard working, and they never judge anyone. If you're good to them, they'll be good to you. You can't ask any more than that.

Do you have any animals that you admire?

From,

Explosivedoughnut

@narrativefinish

Dear Explosivedoughnut,

I wouldn't say a lot, but I have interacted some. My family always had dogs around growing up, and I was taught to ride horses when I was young. Those are the animals I know best. I'm sure other people spend much more time around them.

I suppose that means we have a love of horses in common!

Perhaps its silly, but I also admire foxes. They can be so much trouble, but I appreciate how clever they are.

Sincerely,

Narrativefinish

@explosivedoughnut

#explosivedoughnut

Dear Narrative,

Could you give me any more details about what you mean by those circumstances? You have mentioned duties to your family. Could you go more into detail, or is that impossible to do without risking anonymity?

For example, are you a caretaker for a relative, either an older parent, grandparent, or younger children?

Respectfully,

Spudnik

Dear Spudnik,

Yes, I'm a caretaker for a relative, although I'd prefer not to share more just yet. I'm the only family they have left, and their safety and well being are a high priority for me. The past few years we've had to balance a series of upheavals, so I have been trying to be thoughtful about what new changes I introduce.

But at the same time, I do think the stability of a family would be good for them. As much as I try to do on my own, I know there are things I'm not able to give them. It's the hardest part of caring for them.

Sincerely,

Narrative

@lonelyspudnik

Dear Narrativefinish,

It has been a nice way to express things without worry. But when we do meet in person I look forward to swapping our favorite recipes.

That's very wise of you. There's not a lot we can do to plan ahead of some of these magical disasters, but we can have a first aid kit at the ready. Or maybe even an emergency bag of some kind too.

Maybe. But maybe it can also give you someone to relate with, comparing notes. Or to have an understanding.

It sort of does? But I respect that. I know for my part that is something I really want to be sure I am. My own father was... distant, and I don't want to be that for my own family. In fact I would be happy to take on the more active role entirely if my partner wanted that. I want to do it right.

I will admit that is the one flaw in all this anonymity. I would love to know more about you, yet I feel I'm only getting little pieces. Though it does keep me invested at the same time, so I suppose you're doing an amazing job.

Sincerely, habitualhawk

@narrativefinish

Dear habitualhawk,

My parents were wonderful in many ways and I loved them both very much. But I always had to negotiate for my father's attention. It was only ever on his terms. My mother did her best to balance that out, but it means I am hoping for something a little different than that. It's wonderful to sound like that's what you're looking for as well.

That's very kind of you. I wish I could say that I'm doing it on purpose, but I'm enjoying writing with you as well so I suppose that is what's coming through.

I've rarely had the opportunity to speak as myself without other people having an idea of what I should be like or what I should be saying. I think that's what I mean by it feeling freeing. I know once we meet in person, it'll be easier to speak more openly but I can also see that moment where all of those expectations come into play again. It's why I'm looking forward to meeting you and also nervous about it.

But if there are other questions you have, I'll do my best to answer them.

Sincerely,

Narrativefinish

@habitualhawk

luminousfungi

Narrativefinish,

Yeah, I mean I know its an ideal situation, but I'd like to find something like that that I can contribute to in a relationship.

That is definitely a struggle. It's hard to break the cycle when its become so routine.

I think my favorite lesson is one I try to apply to a lot of relationships, friendships and otherwise. That communication is very important. It's sometimes easier to bottle things up than speak up for what is bothering you at the time. But ultimately it doesn't help in the long run.

And sort of in the same way, as a part two to that, going into things, you need to be clear about what you both want and don't think that something that's important to you will suddenly become important to them. No one needs to be 'fixed' just everyone has their own way of thinking and their own priorities in life and that should be respected.

Warm wishes,

Luminousfungi

Dear Luminousfungi,

I agree, communication is incredibly important in a relationship when you can amange it. The best relationships you are able to speak to each other that way and trust you'll be listened to.

I must say, I know you said you're good at casual and have only been in lvoe a few times, but you've certainly learned a lot in those times and you give wonderful advice. I have a feeling you're the kind of person who collects stories everywhere you go. I'm sure it would be fascinating to listen to you.

Do you have any great loves of your life?

Sincerely,

Narrativefinish

@luminousfungi

#luminousfungi

mylonelyjupiter

Narrative,

I think some part of me thinks I’m a gambler. I think I’m clever enough and willing to take the risk but I have never really gotten into it much. The thrill of gambling does nothing for me.

I just enjoy a good game. Sitting around with friends and family and sharing over some cards or a board game. I feel like nobody has time for it anymore. Everyone is so locked into their screens.

Hearts now I haven’t played that in a while.

So besides games Narrative what else are you into. Just you know generally speaking. I think they gave us some animal prompt.

Not sure if I am into picking a specific species lol.

- Jupiter

@narrativefinish

Dear Jupiter,

I agree, being able to play a card game or a board with friends and family can be a special way to spend the time.

They've given us a number of prompts by now, if you aren't interested in a particular one you don't have to answer it. Are you someone with pets, or are you not particularly interested in animals?

Sincerely,

Narrative

@mylonelyjupiter

#mylonelyjupiter

Dear Narrativefinish,

I do. I can't share them now because it might expose a bit about me. But when we meet I'd be glad to exchange some recipes if you'd like. I wouldn't call myself an expert either, so don't worry. I only really know a handful of dishes through my mother. I'd be curious about what recipes you have too though.

Tips? I don't know. I think if you have a sturdy friendship base or at least someone you can reach out to and discuss it with. I find that helps. You can also add me to your list of supporters to consult with after the next major Swynlake incident if you'd like. There's not much else you can do about them I feel like. Other than maybe having a first aid kit at the ready maybe.

That's really nice to hear Narrative. Family is incredibly important to me. I had a sort of strange family life myself growing up, but it honestly just makes it that much more important to me that I find the right partner and we can build a family together. Do you have any priorities for you with that? Or any concerns?

Sincerely, habitualhawk

@narrativefinish

Dear Habitualhawk,

Of course, I understand! I can be patient in the name of good recipes and I don't want you to reveal anything you aren't comfortable with. There has been something so freeing about the anonymity for a little while.

I can confirm that I keep a well stocked first aid kit if nothing else. I'm always surprised by the number of uses I get out of it, even if its just wrapping up my neighbor after she fell yet again on her own steps.

I understand having a strange family life growing up. It can be interesting to compare notes over it, but sometimes it just makes it more lonely.

The concerns I have are difficult to explain over email. But I'm hoping that I can find someone who will be willing to be a true partner and will have an active part in taking care of our family. I hope that answers your question, I understand it isn't precisely clear.

Sincerely,

Narrativefinish

@habitualhawk

Dear Narrative,

Well, we watch a lot of foreign programming, to be honest, so you might not know a lot of it. Recently, we watched a show on Netflix called Culinary Class Wars, which is a very engaging competition show featuring accomplished chefs and cooks in Korea. If you like cooking, it's delightful.

As for games, I play a lot of puzzle platformers and metroidvanias. If you've heard of Silksong, I've been playing that one for months here and there. It's extremely difficult so I haven't beaten it.

I also always return to Stardew Valley. It's probably my favorite.

Now, getting down to business: it's been a week into this letter event. I feel the need to make an assessment of my matches and make sure that I'm using my time wisely here, since writing emails takes time, and doing that and working has been more difficult than I thought it would. So I'd like to talk again about more serious, deeper topics.

I do think it sounds like we have similar goals, but I'm not sure our timeline is the same. I truly am looking to get married and have a family in the next 2-3 years, or even sooner. I am truly ready for that stage of my life to begin. Do you feel the same? Or is that timeline too soon?

Best,

Spudnik

Dear Spudnik,

That sounds wonderful! You've read me correctly. I haven't heard of that show before as my own knowledge is limited. But the title is intriguing, so I'll have to see if I can find some time for that.

I'll admit, I know almost nothing about videogames so I haven't heard of any of those. But the titles are beautiful.

I appreciate your candor. I'm not sure if the answer is what you're looking for, but I will say that the timeline would work for me if the circumstances were correct. If I were the only one impacted by my decision, it would be easy for me to follow my heart and begin my own family as soon as possible. But this isn't something I can be reckless with, so I would need to see how the two of us could handle those complications if we decided to move forward.

I've been enjoying your letters, so i hope they will continue. But I understand if my answer isn't what you're looking for and you need to focus your time elsewhere.

Sincerely,

Narrative

@lonelyspudnik

luminousfungi

Narrativefinish,

Yeah, always a chance for friendship!

I think if the right person comes along, they could make enough of an effort to make your life a little less complicated. The idea of a relationship to me is that you complement each other's lives and while you add something positive, you also take away something negative to help with life's complications. That's kind of what companionship is right?

I might be too good at casual. Maybe I've become just used to my own life with my own things. I've had a love or two. They burned hard and fast and eventually just burned right out.

I hope that for you too, Narrative. I really do. You deserve uncomplicated companionship.

Warm wishes,

Luminousfungi

@narrativefinish

Dear Luminousfungi,

That's such a sweet idea, I love that. I'm not sure I've ever experienced that outside of novels and movies, but I think its a good idea to hold.

It can be hard to change your life once you're set in a pattern, even when part of you wants to. Change is one of the most difficult things I've found because it can be so easy to find all the ways to justify why the risk isn't worth it, especially when things are going well enough.

What's your favorite lesson you've learned from your relationships?

Sincerely,

Narrativefinish

@luminousfungi

#luminousfungi

Dear Narrativefinish,

I agree, cooking can really be relaxing. It's actually one of my favorite ways to unwind. I also enjoy sharing meals that I make. It's nice to take care of the people you care about with that.

Yeah.... the clown was really something else. The dreams are definitely easier to work with. And at least there isn't any real damage to those.

But yes, I am. I think I'm at a point in life now where having a family is something I think I'm ready for. I have a lot I can offer and give, and yeah. It's something I do hope for in the future. Is that something you're interested in?

Respectfully yours, habitualhawk

@narrativefinish

Dear Habitualhawk,

Do you have any recipes you like to share? I'm always looking for new ways to expand my own menus. But fair warning, while I'm a decent cook, I wouldn't call myself an expert by any means.

Do you have any tips for handling all the magic that you've learned?

Yes, a family is very important to me. I know that families can look a lot of different ways, and its something I'm open to, but I can't imagine not being able to center my life around family.

Sincerely,

Narrativefinish

@habitualhawk

explosivedoughnut

Dear Narrativefinish,

Oh yeah, Italy seems like it'd be a nice place too! I heard that Venice is sinking, though?! So I hope it's still there if you get the chance to go! 7 waterfalls, wow! I've never seen more than one waterfall at once, so I can't imagine 7! But I bet that would be really pretty to see that many of them! Can you go swimming in the waterfalls there too?

Great, we'll have to do that sometime!

There's a lot of things I like about animals. They're so beautiful and can be pretty darn amazing when you think about all the stuff they can do! And if you give them a chance, they can be really good company. I feel like you can learn a lot from spending time with animals. Not just about them, but about life too. Do you think that's a good assessment?

From,

Explosivedoughnut

@narrativefinish

Dear Explosivedoughnut,

I believe you can go swimming in the waterfalls, but I'm not entirely sure. If I ever get the chance to go, it would be lovely to find out.

I enjoy listening to your perspective on all of this. I've enjoyed the company I've had with animals when I can, and many of them are very beautiful indeed.

Are there any animals in particular that you admire?

Sincerely,

Narrativefinish

@explosivedoughnut

#explosivedoughnut

mylonelyjupiter

Narrative,

NTO is great. I recommend getting out of Swynlake and just experience a scene without every single person out is someone you know.

Just food for thought.

I like ski ball and any of the sports games. I know it is probably lame but even Tetris is a good time. Just moving the little blocks around until they fit.

I even like chess. For a non arcade game. Or spades? You like a good card game?

- Jupiter

@narrativefinish

Jupiter,

Chess is a very fun game, I would agree. Although I'm more of a card player than a chess player. Although I've always had a bit more of a softness for hearts over spades.

Does that make you a gambler?

Sincerely,

Narrative

@mylonelyjupiter

#mylonelyjupiter

Dear Narrative,

To be honest, I don't have much time to spend, but when I do have free time, I tend to spend it at home with my family. We watch shows together, or I do chores around the house. Or take walks or sometimes I go fishing. I also play video games, but I haven't had as much time to do that lately.

What kinds of things do you like to paint?

Best,

Spudnik

Dear Spudnik,

I think that sounds lovely. It can be difficult to balance having time with your family and time for your work. Do you have any shows that you recommend from your family time?

Most of the time I paint a lot of nature scenes, different flowers or the forest. But sometimes it can be fun to try and paint something from a book I've been reading to try and stretch my imagination. I wouldn't say any of them are particularly good, and I'll often paint over the same canvas, but its a good way to relax.

What games do you like?

Sincerely,

Narrative

@lonelyspudnik

Narrativefinish,

that's a good point. I suppose I could also try to order some incense or something like it. It just might cost a bit more. But it might be worth it to add in that one thing I have been missing. You have a good point. Thank you.

I cook every day! I try to make her recipes where I can or when I have the time. Nothing is as good to me as a homecooked meal, so I do what I can. Do you like to cook?

I appreciate that. But it has been a learning experience about the kindness of this community. And it makes me want to stay here even more than I did before. To have people supporting you like that is really something special.

And I like that too. I don't have a family here yet, but it is something that I'd feel happy about having here in the future with such a good and family friendly space to raise a family in. The random magical happenings are definitely something to adjust to. It took me quite a while to get more accustomed to it.

I hope they haven't troubled you too much. But if you ever need a friendly ear about it, I'm glad to let you vent.

Respectfully yours, habitualhawk

@narrativefinish

Dear Habitualhawk,

You're welcome! I hope it helps you find a little bit more of that comfort.

I do like to cook whenever I have the time. It can be very relaxing and there are few things as satisfying as people enjoying the food that you've made. Of course, I can't always manage the time for a proper homecooked meal, but its something I've been trying to be better about in the new year.

I can't say its been easy. If there was a pattern I could plan for, it would be easier to adjust and create a good working plan, but as far as I know, these things just happen. But as long as they are events more like the dreams and less like the New Year's clown, I should be able to cope.

So, you're interested in potentially having a family with your partner some day?

Sincerely,

Narrativefinish

@habitualhawk

Dear Narrativefinish,

Well, I'm not sure if its that impressive! I'm quite old now. I think at my age, one probably should know at least a little bit about what they want and what they like!

As for what I like to cook, I'm not picky. I don't really do big elaborate meals. I like lots of broth-based dishes, like soups and stews, and I really do like to barbecue, especially when the weather is good. And I think dumplings is a special kind of food I like to make-- it takes more effort considering you have to make the dough just right!

What about your other interests or hobbies?

Best,

Spudnik

Dear Spudnik,

You would think so, but in my experience that isn't always the case. Some people know themselves well when they're young, some people take most of their lives to learn. I still find it impressive.

I think that sounds wonderful. I've never tried to make any dumplings, but I know how difficult dough is to work with so I can imagine a little of how it goes.

I like horseback riding, and I will ride the trails around Swynlake when I can, although it isn't often enough. I also like to read and paint when there's time for it, although I wouldn't consider myself great as an artist. But it can be very relaxing.

What ways do you like to spend your time?

Sincerely,

Narrative

@lonelyspudnik