Forgotten Ā - Ā Hanno Karlhuber
German, b.1946 -
Oil tempera on wood , 70 x 50 cm.

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@hachellerris
Forgotten Ā - Ā Hanno Karlhuber
German, b.1946 -
Oil tempera on wood , 70 x 50 cm.
PoupƩe de cire for Numero Magazine (2003) Photography: Liz Collins
Iām gonna be so sexy in my 30s itās actually Insane
Ā© Cho Gi-Seok
the last couple of months have been so intense. so much going on and happening and changing and losses and the weight of it all is hitting me so hard this week. feeling overwhelmed and idk how to find acceptance and move through it
my dearest and most precious little love of my life left this world yesterday š
i want to text him and tell him that i miss him sooo badly but iām scared . i already tried to reach out a week ago and itās been dead silent and i see him at work all the time and itās like i donāt even exist
each week of january felt like a completely different month i swear to god. when i think back to what was happening a month ago in my life (mostly big emphasis on the relationship) to what has happened in between to nowā¦ā¦ i swear it had to have been 4 months. so many changes and shifts and different energies and expressions and sooo many layers and the list goes on and onā¦. the most energetically insane time period . how the fuck was that a mere 31 days
iām sooo sad guys. i miss him so much. i go into work and i see him all day long driving by on his PIT and heās so good at completely avoiding me, itās like im not there, itās like i donāt even exist. itās like he never knew me at all and we didnāt share everything that we did, like it was all a fucking dream i made up. that feeling punches me in the gut every time and is agonizing for me . this hurts so much every time i have to see him and the way his expression is so hard and cold now. the way there used to be a warmth and a light in his eyes for me, a softness. we made eye contact for a couple of seconds and it was so heartbreaking the way that dark, cold and stern expression glared at meā¦.. the shock of it has passed and the delusion of hoping heād say something to me has passed and now i feel like im just sinking and this huge despairing grief is settled in. this was so sudden. the connection was so profound for us both. we were so close to accomplishing many things.. my days are so quiet now, in the worst ways, so lonely .
i donāt want to let him go but this is doing both of us a disservice at this point . and i donāt know how to repair and amend from here. i think this is the end for real guys
Akira (1988) dir. Katsuhiro Otomo
āFrostbiteā. Klara Alba Gordon by Emre Ćnal for Novembre Magazine online June 2022
The forest for the trees, Jeremy Miranda
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