keep me alive

there's hell inside these veins // and bluebirds in my ribcage // there's melancholia inside my head // but i'm used to it

[lifeinpoetry]

“I take out my throat / but the grief remains”

— — Alessandra Lynch, from “Couplets” Pretty Tripwire

[thoughtkick]

“I still catch myself feeling sad about things that don’t matter anymore.”

— Kurt Vonnegut

[minuty]

“We can all fight the battles of just one day. It is when we add the burdens of two uncontrollable days, yesterday and tomorrow, that we get overwhelmed.”

—

[thoughtkick]

“The strongest people are the ones who are still kind even after the world tore them a part.”

— Raven Emotion

[quotefeeling]

“I don’t care if we on good terms or not, the secrets and insecurities you shared with me would never leave my mouth.”

— Unknown

[nothingwithoutwords]

“i can’t erase you from my mind but maybe i can scrub you from my skin, so i turn my face to the sky and let the rain sink in. water slides down my cheeks and falls softly to the ground. i pretend the rain is cleansing me from the hands that held me down. the storm slowly stops and the sky returns to blue. i have rid my body of your grip. i am completely untouched by you.”

— shelby leigh

[4am-reflections]

i don’t know how to say that i’m happy for you with a smile on my face. how do you look someone in the eye that you thought you were going to marry and tell them that you’re happy they found someone else. i do so and i can feel my heart contracting inside my chest. i am happy for you, i truly am. i’m happy youre happy, i just will always wish it was with me.

when am i going to learn that just because i’ll always choose you doesn’t mean you’ll ever choose me// 4am

[4am-reflections]

“I don’t want him back, but when I see him my stomach still turns to mush. I don’t want him back, but I still lay awake dreaming of a time when he wanted me. I don’t want him back, but his name still chokes me every time I say it. I don’t want him back, but the memories of him still make me feel like I have poison in my veins. I don’t want him back, but the thought of him still lives in my dreams. I don’t want him back, but maybe if he came back I might, possibly change my mind.”

— 4am

[4am-reflections]

“When he breaks your heart let yourself be sad. Let the sadness consume your entire body until all that comes out of your mouth is broken sobs and quick breaths. Sit in the dark and watch every sad movie you can think of, and when he hurts the girl yell and scream at him as if the one you are really yelling at could hear you. Call your best friend and get her to hold you, let her be the one to put all your broken pieces together instead of some other guy that could easily tear them apart once again. Then let yourself be happy. Talk to new guys, they won’t smell like him or tell the same jokes but maybe you’ll be able to get past that or maybe it’s okay to just meet some new friends. Dress up, wear your favourite clothes and your best smile and feel good when you do it. You are beautiful even if he couldn’t see it. Take care of yourself, take lots of bubble baths and listen to good music, do little things that will make you smile. Try to move on, you will meet someone one day who will make your heart skip a beat when they walk in, they aren’t going to have his eyes and they will love you better than he ever could.”

— 4am

[4am-reflections]

And so it took some time to understand what the hell happened to us. We once were inseparable, two souls made out of the same stardust. Our atoms destined to connect. I don’t know when I stopped making you happy. When the parts of me that made you fall in love were no longer reasons to stay. But finally I know this was never what you wanted to happen. I don’t blame you anymore and most importantly I no longer blame myself.

4am

[tansdiary]

i’ve been wilted

too many times

and crushed

by so many

but i’ll fight

and grow

and bloom

slowly

but eventually

— 23 december, 2018 // tans

[hagpoet]

My pillow smells of you

Though it’s been exactly 558 days since you’ve last laid in my bed

And 552 days since I bought new sheets in an effort to cleanse your scent

My pillow still smells of you

Just as my eyes still see you

Though months have passed since I’ve seen you last and your voice danced along my ears

You seemed awkward then and I wished I didn’t make you uncomfortable

My eyes still see you everywhere

Not unlike how my heart still feels you

Though the last time you warmed it was in April of last year

When you thanked me for teaching you love

My heart still feels the same way about you

It has no concept of time

And without a concept of time

Time cannot heal me

— No amount of time can change how I feel (4:17 am) (via @hagpoet)

[ai-papi-deactivated20201124]

kisses with you, hugs with you, deep talks with you, romantic slow sex with you, nasty rough sex with you, making love with you

[iambrillyant]

“see, they never tell you that sometimes you have to lose love, to learn how to love yourself.”

iambrillyant

[hagpoet]

With eyes made of cosmic matter And a soul welded together By elixir of fire You love me Though my eyes are clouded by stratocumulus And my soul is being held together By tempestuous wind You love me In the most angelic, brave way

the brave kind of love

[iambrillyant]

“oh but darling, this fire you have in your soul is beautiful. it was not meant to be extinguished for people who can’t handle your passion.”

iambrillyant

[tmpoem]

“i have always been independent i have always figured things out myself i hate relying on people i hate needing needing someone else because in the end i know i can always count on me”

— t.m.