this is nightmarish @haleyerin2012 - Tumblr Blog

dramatic-dolphin

please stop writing "viscous" when you mean "vicious", it produces the weirdest mental images ever

dramatic-dolphin

"a viscous murder" yeah i don't want to know what that could look like

transmasc-wizard

it looks like the Boston Molassacre of 1919

krakenartificer

#and vice versa btw#i don’t know what a vicious fluid would be like#and i don’t want to find out

it looks like the Boston Molassacre of 1919

tobiasdrake

Can you imagine being Gandalf? Getting shit from other wizards because you have a thing for hobbits and you're just like, okay. Okay, maybe I'll temper my fascination with hobbits.

This Ring quest will have two hobbits. Maximum.

Then they all get to Rivendell and have somehow multiplied into four hobbits. And it's like. Okay. Maybe the others are right.

Maybe this is too many hobbits.

We have as many hobbits as we have not-hobbits.

But damn it, you just don't want to get rid of any of these hobbits. Screw it! Everyone can deal. Four hobbits. This is a four hobbits problem.

So away you go.

And things go bad in the worst possible way.

Over and over.

You've lost your hobbits. You've lost yourself. The fellowship has been separated.

It takes everything in your power to help the humans defend themselves, bringing them together to save Rohan. Finally, as things begin to look upright, you're ready to face the war with everything the Rohirrim have left.

You're ready to face him. This may be the hardest battle you've ever fought. But you ride.

Then you get there and two of your fucking hobbits are sitting there like "Yeah, while you were gone, we raised a tree army and beat Saruman's ass. Wanna help us loot his tower?"

....

There were not, in fact, too many hobbits.

This was a four hobbits problem.

elodieunderglass

A wizard neither underestimates nor overestimates the number of hobbits needed for an equation. He, er, always has precisely as many as he needs to.

peoplegettingkindamadatfood

deconstructedcunt

the dad kept buying it tho. #ally

ismenes

you know those studies showing that cursing helps with pain tolerance or whatever. that’s how i feel about making my weird little noises to get through my basic daily activities. sometimes you just have to go hggblaaaah for a minute so you can find the strength within yourself to get up or wash the dishes or send an email. mmmnneh. urgh. the torments are unending but you can always make some little sounds about it.

anonymousyellowlizard

dinolich

Welcome to Taskmaster!!! Would you like to play a game?

skulandcrossbones

some people really do need to start reminding themselves that the answer to "why didn't the character just do [something entirely different]" is often simply "because then there wouldn't be a story"

knighteirian

Morgana le Fey BBC MERLIN (2008–2012) 1.01 "The Dragon's Call"

mossworm

me every day without fail: I'll do [chore] when I get home

me when I get home:

bemusedlybespectacled

me every single week: I'll do it on the weekend!

me the entire weekend:

of-the-astral-sea

all of us rn

serenity-bitty

konoko

sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog

the only future of the internet is the following tab of tumblr. death to "for you." Death to algorithmically generated content that exists not to spread humane values or accurate information but only to monetize your attention.

In the future the internet will be dead except for the weirdos who hang out in the post-algorithmic, cratered-out ghost towns, and then and only then will the social internet finally achieve its potential.

ur-favorite-fishgirl

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.