Really great thread from Instagram about ADHD burnout and how to reset not just "rest" that I think all my followers who struggle with burnout should read:
Source
Image description and captions under cut:
[A 9 image grid of a woman in gym clothes and over-ear headphones seated in front of a mirror, holding a phone up to cover her face and photograph her reflection. Each image is the same photo with text overlay.]
[Image 1] "Just take a rest day" is terrible ADHD burnout advice actually
[Image 2] "Jut take a rest day" ok cool but now I've:
Rotted in bed for 9 hours
Doomscrolled myself into an identity crisis
Ignored every routine that normally keeps me sane
Eaten absolutely nothing with nutritional value
Built up 700 layers of task paralysis
And somehow convinced myself that I'm incapable of functioning ever again.
[Image 3] ADHD burnout isn't just "being tired." It's a buildup of:
Too many decisions
Too much noise
Too many tabs open
Constant task switching
Masking
Self-criticism
Running on cortisol
So when you suddenly remove all routine and disappear, your brain doesn't calm down. It gets worse.
So here's what to do instead [memo pad and pencil emoji].
[Image 4] First things first: Your ADHD brain does not need a productivity comeback. It needs less shit.
Right now your only jobs are: eat food, drink water, sleep, basic hygiene and keep yourself vaguely employed. That's it.
This is not the week for: starting a side hustle, deep cleaning your kitchen, becoming a morning person, or replying to every message you've ignored since February.
And if someone offers help? TAKE IT. You do not get bonus points for struggling independently.
[Image 5] Become aggressively boring for a bit.
Same breakfast, same comfy clothes, same lunch rotation, same playlist you've already listened to 400 times.
Yes we love novelty but right now you need less decisions and more predictability.
[Image 6] Eat like your brain is injured because honestly it kind of is.
ADHD brains love accidentally surviving on coffee and crackers.
Do not do this.
But easy options only: protein yoghurt / toast / microwave rice / rotisserie chicken / frozen meals / snack plates / protein bars / get someone else to cook for you (and no I don't mean deliveroo)
[Image 7] Stop using all your dopamine before 9am.
If you wake up and immediately scroll, compare yourself to everyone, and answer 47 messages, your brain starts the day already depleted.
First 20-30 minutes: water, light, protein, gentle movement.
Protect your morning dopamine.
[Image 8] Move your body - BUT DO NOT 'push through'
Movement genuinely helps through ADHD burnout.
But right now we need gentle movement that makes your brain think ah its ok we're safe.
Walking / stretching / easy lifting / mobility work
[Image 9] And please stop waiting until you feel fully rested before you start living again.
We are now hibernating until we're "magically fixed"
Regular meals
Slightly better sleep
Fewer extremes
Slightly lower expectations
Tiny routines
And then one day you realise your brain doesn't feel like it's on fire anymore.
That's it. That's recovery.
No dramatic transformation montage unfortunately. I know. How rude.
One of the most jarring moments of my university education was in a physics class when I was given a device that measures gravity and was told “this cost the university sixteen thousand dollars, but the only glass blower in the world who could make the glass springs inside it died so it’s literally irreplaceable. If you drop it those springs will shatter. Go fuck around with it for a day and take some measurements”
In the UK there's a thing called the endangered crafts list which I highly recommend if you fancy discovering some crafts you never even knew existed. Scientific and optical instrument making is considered 'critically endangered' and glassworking (scientific glassware) is just considered endangered, which is for 'crafts with a shrinking market share, an ageing demographic or crafts with a declining number of practitioners.' There's some other crafts in that category which are easier to teach yourself or go to classes on that list, like lithography, marbling or block printing on fabric, so it might be worth considering those if you're looking for something to try.
Phm being a story so full of love and care and hope and not having a romance plot in it means so much to me. There's so many other ways people can love. Grace being aroace is canon to me. It's such an integral part of the story for me- that Grace cares and loves so much, but none of that love is romantic.
“You’re late,” you told him, slapping a dough ball onto the floured board. “I was starting to think you’d actually learned to sleep like a normal person.”
Zuko’s footsteps were almost silent, but you had spent seven years learning to read the spaces between sounds. He stopped at your prep station, just inside your peripheral vision, and you could feel the weight of his gaze on the back of your neck.
“I had a thing,” he said.
“A thing.”
“A diplomatic thing. With Ambassador Kuei. It went long.”
You snorted. “Let me guess. He wanted to renegotiate the trade agreement for the seventeenth time, and you wanted to set his mustache on fire.”
A pause. Then, very quietly: “…his mustache is very flammable-looking.”
You finally looked up. Zuko smiled at you. That should’ve told you he was up to no good.
Because he was holding a radish.
Not just a radish. Your radish. The one you’d been saving for the garnish on tomorrow’s soup, because these particular radishes came from a specific farm in the northwestern province, and they had exactly three of them left, and they tasted good without being boiled and—
“Put it down,” you said icily.
Zuko took a bite. Loudly. Crunchily. Maintaining eye contact the entire time. What an idiot.
“You glutton,” you hissed, grabbing for it. He danced back a step—lithe and quick, because of course he was; years of being banished and he still moved like a flame—and took another bite, chewing with deliberate slowness.
“It’s good,” he said, around a mouthful of radish. “Crisp. Tell the royal kitchen to buy more of these.”
“It was for the soup.”
“What soup?”
“Oh, you know. The soup I’m making tomorrow for the council luncheon, which you insisted had to be ‘impressive’ and ‘diplomatically neutral’ and ‘not the same thing we served last time,’ and now I have to figure out what to do with two radishes instead of three, so I hope you’re happy.”
Zuko thought about what you’ve said. Then he held out the remaining half of the radish. “Do you want it back?”
“Of course not,” you replied, scoffing. “That’s disgusting. I want you to leave.”
“You don’t mean that.”
He said it so simply, so matter-of-factly, that you felt stunned by the sheer audacity that he was absolutely right. You turned back to your dough, attacking the next ball with more force than strictly necessary. “I absolutely mean it. Go away. Be the Firelord somewhere else. I have work to do.”
You heard him move closer. He stopped right behind you, close enough that you could smell the faint smoke-and-ember scent that always clung to him, like a hearthfire banked for the night.
“You’re doing the rolls wrong,” he murmured.
You had to suck in a deep breath to keep yourself from rolling your eyes to the back of your head.
“I am not.”
“You are. You’re making them too small. The one on the end is going to burn.”
You looked down at your perfectly shaped, uniformly sized rolls. They were fine. They were perfect. You had been making these exact rolls for seven years, and he had never once—not once—thanked you for making them, and now he wanted to criticize?
You picked up no more than a palm of flour and threw it at him.
Zuko could’ve dodged. He knew what was coming. He’d dodged worse things than flying flour—fire, knives, and the occasional well-aimed shoe from his friends. But he didn’t dodge. He stood there and let the flour hit him square in the chest, a puff of white dust blooming across the dark silk of his formal robe.
He looked down at himself. Then back at you.
“That,” he started, “was a three-hundred-year-old ceremonial robe. And perfectly good flour went to waste.”
“Good,” you huffed. “Maybe it’ll teach you not to critique my baking.”
He brushed at the flour, succeeding only in smearing it around.
“You’re so childish.”
“Childish? I’m not the one who sneaks into the kitchen at midnight to steal vegetables and complain about portion sizes.”
“I wasn’t complaining. I was merely stating my opinion.”
“Opinion that I did not ask for, Firelord.”
Zuko frowned at the title. You knew just how to get him to sulk and pout.
“I was being helpful.”
You made a sound of pure, undiluted exasperation. “You don’t know the first thing about cooking besides the basics, Zuko.”
“I also know how to make tea.”
“That doesn’t count.”
Zuko’s mouth pressed into a thin line—the one that meant he was trying not to smile and failing miserably. He looked ridiculous, standing there in his flour-dusted ceremonial robes with a half-eaten radish in one hand, hair loose that pooled behind his back, his cheeks flushed with something that might have been embarrassment or might have been the warmth of the kitchen.
You ignored the incessant feeling that clawed at your chest. Maybe it was the exhaustion getting to you.
“Sit down,” you sighed. “If you’re going to be in my way, at least be in my way sitting down.”
Zuko sat. He always sat, eventually. That was the thing about these midnight visits—he, for all the power he had as Firelord, was utterly compliant when it came to you.
You finished shaping the rolls in silence, your hands moving automatically, your mind somewhere else entirely. You could feel him watching you with something that you knew all too well. Something that had been there for so long you’d stopped questioning it.
“You look tired,” he said, finally.
“I look like I’ve been cooking for fourteen hours,” you replied. “Which I have.”
“You should sleep more.”
“I could, but the prep wouldn’t finish all of this, now would it?”
“I hired a lot of people in the royal kitchen for you not to do all of this.”
“Well, I like doing all of this my way,” you hummed. “It helps when I’m alone. Have you eaten?”
He didn’t answer. That was answer enough.
You sighed, reaching for a covered dish by the pantry. You set the dish in front of him with a spoon.
“It’s still warm.”
Zuko looked at the noodles. “You saved these for me?”
“I saved them for the compost,” you noted flatly. “You just happened to be here.”
He ate them. All of them.
“(Name),” he said once he finished.
“Don’t,” you said, because you knew that tone. You’d heard it a hundred times, in a hundred different ways, and you weren’t ready for whatever was coming next.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t say something that’s going to make this weird.”
Zuko huffed. “I’m not going to make it weird.”
“You’re always going to make it weird. You have a gift.”
He frowned—not his angry frown, but the one that crinkled the unscarred side of his face and made him look softer. “I was just going to say thank you.”
“For the noodles?”
Oh. That was new.
“For… everything. For being here. For putting up with me.” He gestured vaguely at the kitchen, at the flour on his robes, at the half-eaten radish now on a clean tray.
“For all of this.”
You felt your throat tighten. You turned back to the dough, even though the rolls were already finished and covered and ready to just set. “You don’t have to thank me. It’s my job.”
“It’s not your job to throw flour at me.”
“That part’s a bonus,” you told him smugly. “Perks of being employed by the Firelord, I guess.”
There was something in the air; you were sure of it. It could be the dust motes or the warmth of the fire burning until it reaches its last embers.
Something that you were scared to address because you didn’t want to ruin what you already had.
“You’ve got flour on your face,” Zuko said.
“So do you.”
“No, I mean—” He stood up, crossed the few steps between you, and before you could react, his hand was cupping your jaw, his thumb brushing gently across your cheekbone, wiping away the streak of flour you’d forgotten about.
His hand was warm. They were always warm, firebenders—Zuko especially, like a banked coal that never quite went out. But this warmth was different. This warmth was certain. His thumb lingered for a moment longer than necessary, and his eyes—those impossible, burning gold eyes—were fixed on yours, and you swore you forgot how to breathe.
“There,” he murmured. “Got it.”
You should have stepped back. You should’ve deflected and went back to familiar territory. That was the dance you and him had been doing for seven years—push and pull, bicker and banter, never quite crossing the line into whatever lay beyond.
But you didn’t step back. And he didn’t let go.
“Zuko,” you said, and his name came out wrong—too breathless—like the longing you tried so hard to bury had finally resurfaced.
“(Name),” he replied, and there was something in his voice you’d never heard before. Something that sounded like fear, like hope, like the moment before a flame catches.
It’s something. And that something was both terrifying and something that you now wanted to name. To acknowledge and finally be honest.
“You should go,” you whispered, but you didn’t mean it, and he knew it.
“I know,” he said, and didn’t move.
His hand was still on your face. His thumb was still tracing slow, absent patterns on your cheekbone. You could feel the calluses on his fingers—sword calluses, firebending calluses, the hard-won scars of a boy who’d had to fight for everything he’d ever gotten.
“If you’re going to kiss me,” you started, because you had gotten tired of waiting and because you’d never been good at keeping your mouth shut, “you should probably do it before I change my mind.”
Zuko’s breath caught. You thought you’d misread everything—thought you’d finally pushed too far, broken the fragile thing between you with your bluntness and your sharp tongue and your inability to just let things be.
Then he kissed you. Soft and chaste. You swore that feeling in your chest had never been happier.
You broke apart eventually, foreheads resting together, breathing the same warm kitchen air. Zuko’s hands had moved to your waist, his fingers curled into the fabric of your apron like he was afraid you’d disappear if he let go.
“That was—” he started.
“Seven years overdue,” you finished, smiling.
He laughed. “I was going to say ‘nice.’”
“It was nice,” you agreed. “But you can do better.”
His eyes widened, settling upon the realization. “Is that a challenge?”
“It’s an observation.”
“You and your observations.”
“You and your—mmph!”
He kissed you again, rude to not have let you finish, and this time it wasn’t shy at all. The dough lay forgotten for a while, but that’s okay; you’ll have the Firelord’s help to help you remake another batch.
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