Harry/Allie Fic Rec

fun little reviews for the competed hallie fics on the ao3 tag

[in-my-head-i-do-everything-right]

remember it’s all pretend (new&improved)

“Thought it’d be harder to pretend to love someone as annoying as you, Pressman.”

-

or harry and allie as two actors who can’t stand each other (but somehow keep coming together anyway)

ao3 [aka i spent the last two days rewriting bits of this instead of working on my wips]

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[hallie-fics]

Very excited to re-read this masterpiece!

[hallie-fics]

author spotlight - smc_27

When they’re grabbing her handcuffs behind her back, pulling her back towards the car, she turns her head and finds Harry’s eyes. He looks scared, and she almost calls him a coward, but knows he’s very well aware that he is one. He just is.She won’t look away from him. He needs to know, too, that he did this. He did this.Maybe the only thing that’s real between them is the fact that he could do something about it and doesn’t. Maybe that’s all there is.

Everything’s Blurry But You @livinginrhythm​

This author is easily one of my favorites for this fandom. Their dialogue and how they write the hallie dynamic is pretty much unparalleled. I always know that a story is going to be good when I see that they wrote it.

q & a

Favorite of your stories (and why)

So far (for this pairing) I really like Words Are Too Hard To Keep On Their Own. Those who know me from other fandoms know I’m an angst-fiend, but for this pairing I’m really drawn to the idea of an easiness between them. I really thought (and think) that AUs are sort of the only way to make that happen without making everyone out of character. I also just love Portland, so it was fun to think about them in that city. I also tend to be really into imagining what characters will be like once they’re through their ‘asshole’ phase.

Easiest story to write

Definitely the NYE story (By The Coast When I Held your Hand). Not only because it’s short, but because I had a pretty clear idea of the beginning and the ending, and filling in the blanks was simple enough. I have a Very Bad Habit of writing incredibly long stories; even my ‘drabbles’ are thousands of words. This one, though, was done in a couple hours. (I have also started a followup to it, so you may see that eventually…)

Hardest story to write

A post-S1 WIP that was literally the second thing I started writing for this pairing! It’s 15k words currently and I’m really struggling to wrap it up. Probably because so much time has passed between when I started it, and now. I’m really hoping to finish it very soon and post it. 

Pre-writing process (if any)

Usually it goes like this: Get an inkling of an idea, or line of dialogue in my head, flail about it to friends. Say that I shouldn’t start a new thing when I have WIPs that could use attention. Start anyway. I’m not a big outliner (though I know that would likely be more productive!). I usually just sit down and start writing and see what happens. 

When I used to write multi-chapter stories, I would never post the first chapter until I was completely done writing the story. This was for a few reasons, the most important of which being that in the beginning, I found the pressure to update and suggestions from readers really threw me off and were sort of demotivating. 

I also read/edit everything twice before posting, and then read again once it’s posted and usually have to go back and fix little things I didn’t catch the first time. I’ve never really used a beta, or anything, though I definitely share WIPs with friends who read them and help encourage me!

Hopes for season 2

Honestly, I have a few different things I’d love to see happen, and I say them all with pretty much no hope they’ll be true to what happens on screen. 

One, I think it would be sooo interesting if S2 showed us an alternate universe in which everything is normal. They never went to New Ham, and are just typical high school students with typical high school drama. I want to see how Harry and Kelly break up, how Allie and Will interact, how/if Sam and Grizz get together. And ultimately, I still want Harry and Allie to hook up, and then to see what happens afterward in a world where nothing is as messed up as New Ham. 

Two, I want there to be a focus on getting Campbell the eff out of the way, by whatever means necessary. I of course want Allie to have a hand in that. I’m really interested to see how they handle her ‘arrest’. (This is, mostly, what prompted me to start my post-S1 fic, and I’ve explored that a lot.) 

Three, Harry Bingham redemption arc! Writers can feel free to slot this into any and all storylines/ideas for S2. 

Favorite line (or lines) that you’ve written for a hallie fic/ a section that you’re really proud of.

I really like this, from you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes: She feels the deep breaths he takes - three in a row, like some kind of coping mechanism. It’s what her mom always used to tell her to do, when she’d be mad at Cassandra for taking all the attention. Even now, she’s got to wonder why she was always the one who had to do something about it, and why Cassandra was never asked to change anything about herself. It’s not the time to think of that. It’s never the time to think of that.

I also love the whole bit in Everything’s Blurry But You when they’re outside alone on the terrace at the wedding and Harry tells her, “Trust me. I know what being in love with you looks like.”

What type of Hallie stories do you like to write/read? (canon divergence, modern au, soulmate au, etc)

Any and all, thank you. As long as it’s well-written, I can get into it.

How long have you been writing for?

I’ve been writing fanfic for over 10 years now.

How has your writing style evolved over time?

I used to write a lot of multi-chapter stories with long, winding plots. Now I stick mostly to oneshots or what ends up being two or three part stories with really long chapters. I also revisit old fic sometimes and cringe; I’ve gotten much more comfortable writing dialogue that feels believable. 

Do you ever worry about how your stories are received?

Who doesn’t!? 

What’s the hardest part of writing for you?

Just...doing it. Finding the time and then also being inspired/focused when the time is available. I also tend to write better late at night, but do require a regular sleep schedule and have a 9-5ish, so staying up super late isn’t the best idea for me!

Do you get writers block and if so how do you deal with it?

Of course - I think everyone does at some point or another. Honestly, I try to be gentle with myself and not force it. I can feel it in my writing when things aren’t flowing as well. The actual stories feel clunky and slow. I also find it helps to read other peoples’ work or watch really good shows/content to get inspired or take a break from trying to make words happen. Sometimes I’ll ask friends for prompts to help me get into a flow, which feels like less pressure than diving back into a WIP.

Favorite Hallie headcanon?

That they had all these little interactions pre-New Ham. We know they weren’t strangers, so I just love to think about the ways they’d interact before. Conversations they may have had, looks they shared, and if I’m being honest, all the times Harry would’ve flirted with Allie. I feel like he would’ve done it just to annoy Cassandra, and I am here for it.

This is definitely one of my favorite author spotlights. I love @livinginrhythm‘s hopes for season two, and I can’t wait for any more potential stories by them! Thanks again for taking the time to answer these questions!

[hallie-fics]

author spotlight - societybabylon

Allie doesn't know a thing about what Harry needs. Of that, he's sure.

what I need @societybabylon

I love the hallie fics this author has written and am very excited for their upcoming soulmate au. Give Me Those Eyes (It’s Easy to Forgive) is one of my all time favorite fics, and I had a blast reading through these answers! 

q & a 

Favorite of your stories (and why) 

My favorite of my stories is the soulmate au that I’m currently working on. I love the way that the tension in the story builds. Harry and Allie are a will-they-or-won’t-they couple (at least in my mind), and I think my soulmate au, of all my stories, best captures this essence. I think people will like it when it comes out. My second favorite would probably be Give Me Those Eyes (It’s Easy to Forgive), which is set after season 1. 

Easiest story to write

 I wrote a photographer + model au a while back for Hallie. I have no clue why, but I found it very easy to write. No writer’s block that day! 

Hardest story to write

The soulmate au!! I have it all planned out, but it’s pretty long and it feels like I have so little free time. I’ve been working on it for months now. I really want to get it out to my readers, because it’s been so long since I mentioned that I was writing it. I don’t want to keep them waiting any longer. 

Pre-writing process (if any)

 If it’s a drabble/very short story, I’ll just go straight into writing. But if it’s a longer story, like the soulmate au, then I will create an outline that focuses on the overall plot arc and details key events that I want to be in the story. 

What drew you to Hallie

 Ooh, that’s a good question. I admit I’m a bit of a romantic. Every time I start a new TV show or book series, I usually start searching for a couple I can ship. When I watched The Society, Allie and Harry immediately jumped out to me as a really strong possible couple. They have a very interesting relationship—not quite enemies (at least not at the beginning), not quite friends, with some definite mutual attraction mixed in. Their relationship has so much tension. Because of this, their dynamic opens up so many storytelling possibilities. And of course, once they finally get together and resolve that tension…you just know it’s going to be a great moment. 

Hopes for season 2

As far as Hallie goes, I doubt they’ll get together next season, but I’d like to see them overcome Harry’s betrayal and form a partnership as they work together against Campbell. I’d also like to see more romantic tension between the two of them. Otherwise, I really want to see Elle break free from Campbell. It’s awful to see how he abuses her. I’d also like Allie to get some vengeance against Campbell and some of the guys of the guard. I want to find out more about how, exactly, they ended up in this parallel universe (assuming it is a parallel universe). And I want Lexie and Campbell to stfu.

Favorite line (or lines) that you’ve written for a hallie fic/ a section that you’re really proud of 

I’m actually so mad at myself for not having finished this soulmate au because there’s one section I’m SO proud of but if I shared it all it would spoil it. Here’s one sentence from the section, albeit not the complete part: “Your name on my skin, my name on yours, and it doesn’t mean anything.”

What type of Hallie stories do you like to write/read? (canon divergence, modern au, soulmate au, etc) 

In general, I really like reading au fics. I like imagining Hallie in a new setting and seeing the author’s creativity really come to life. More specifically, I am a sucker for soulmate au fics. I literally cannot stop myself from reading them. A writer could spit out the same soulmate tropes I’ve seen a thousand times—matching tattoos, black and white to color, countdown clocks, etc.—and I will still want to read their story. I also really like the au fics done by @in-my-head-i-do-everything-right. She did a great fic called remember it’s all pretend, and in that story, Harry and Allie were actors whose love story developed over projects and press junkets. I especially liked the fake comments of Hallie stans in this au world. I don’t think I’d ever seen something like that in a fic before. It’s a really fun idea, and it mirrors the experience of what it feels like to be a stan. 

How long have you been writing for? 

Years now, but it’s been pretty on-and-off. There was a about six years ago when I was writing full-length stories and posting them online, and I would usually update those stories with 2000+ word chapters once a week. Then there was a long period in my life (and honestly, I’m still kind of in this period) when I just had too much work and I wasn’t able to dedicate much time to my writing. I’m making an effort to change that, but it’s been hard. For anyone interested in getting involved in writing, here’s my tip: find the time to write everyday. Even if you only have ten minutes, you’re still making progress. 

How has your writing style evolved over time? 

The biggest change I see in my writing is how much stronger the plots are now. When I was younger, I never used to plot out my stories beforehand, and then the story would end up taking a ludicrous direction. I also think I’m slightly better at writing descriptions now.

Do you ever worry about how your stories are received? 

Yes and no. On one hand, it always sucks to get negative comments on the work you produce. Creative writing can feel very personal, so when someone dislikes what I’ve written, I usually feel a little hurt. This is especially true as a fic writer. If I were in a creative writing class with a workshopping process, I would know to expect some negative feedback and I would be prepared to handle it. But when I’m writing fics and posting them, I’m spending hours of my time just to give my stories away to my audience for free. Even if the readers don’t like what I’ve written, I would hope that they could at least respect me enough not to shit on a story that I’m providing to them at literally no cost. On the other hand, if you write often and provide your stories to the public, negative feedback is inevitable. There’s always going to be someone who wants to tell you all the reasons they don’t like your work. For your own peace of mind, it’s important to learn how to handle the criticism. 

What’s the hardest part of writing for you?

 Finding the time to write! 

Do you get writers block and if so how do you deal with it?

Yes, definitely! Especially with longer stories. There are always parts of a story that I really, really want to write and parts that I don’t want to write at all, but I have to for the sake of the plot.

Biggest risk you’ve ever taken as a writer? 

I suppose that would be posting my fics online. At this point, I don’t really worry about making my stories public. But when I started doing it, I was so anxious.

Favorite Hallie trope? 

Mutual pining!

Huge thanks to @societybabylon for agreeing to do this with me! Your answers were very insightful, and I am very excited to read your soulmate au.

[in-my-head-i-do-everything-right]

i just wanna dance with you (pt 2)

The stars look like jewels in the crown of the night sky, and she thinks, faintly, that this is the moment she wants a picture of; the two of them, side by side on the beach, holding on so tight that it hurts.

-

or harry and allie and just about two years in canton

ao3  (and also the biggest of thanks to @dystopians​ for beta reading)  [pt1]

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[in-my-head-i-do-everything-right]

we’re all the things that we do for fun

The sun looks the same rising as it did in her own bed, in her parent’s bed, in Cassandra’s bed. It rises like nothing’s wrong, like things aren’t different.

-

or allie and harry and new ham alone 

ao3

Keep reading

[hallie-fics]

oh my gosh i was not ready for this!!! and the ending killed me!

[dystopians]

for everyone living in hallieville, here’s a little something i’ve been working on to quench that season 2 thirst!

swan song, chapter 1.

It would be so easy to pretend that she doesn’t want anything more complex from him than this.

Or: Harry, Allie, and what comes after.

[hallie-fics]

author spotlight - evanspotters

His nose brushed her neck as she whispered. “I just don’t want to live in a world where we fight each other instead of doing this together.”

The Other Versions @brazilianchild

@brazilianchild (evanspotters on ao3) has given us some of the best hallie au’s in the fandom. her harry potter au is the stuff of legends! the creativity of her stories never ceases to amaze me and the way she writes is absolutely beautiful! 

q&a

Favorite of your stories (and why) 

Out of all the hallie stuff I’ve written my favorite one would have to be the Hogwarts!au one shot “tell me that you’ll open your eyes”. I’m just a sucker for Hogwarts aus and I loved doing one for hallie. 

Easiest story to write 

 “they are the hunters, we are the foxes” aka the hunger games!au. That one-shot was SO easy to write. I think I did it all in one sitting because I just felt so inspired. It was just so easy to think of hallie in that setting. 

Hardest story to write

 The hardest story to write so far seems to be “love is what you deserve”. Writing multi-chaptered fics are SO HARD for me. I usually write a lot and then I lose all inspiration and motivation and it becomes so hard to get back on track.

Pre-writing process (if any)

I usually have all the stuff I want to write about written in bulletpoints before I start writing. Like a bunch of headcanons or tropes or notes to myself that I want to make sure I don’t forget. And only then will I start writing. 

What drew you to Hallie

I love slow burns, like love them with a passion. My first ship that I really got invested in was stydia which is the KING of slowburn ships. I just watched the society and was like 👀👀 there’s my endgame!! 

Hopes for season 2

I don’t want hallie to be fully canon yet but I just want some moments between them!! I think that season 2 should really focus on Harry’s development and I would just really like how Allie plays into that and helps him make better decisions. (Also I don’t want to suffer through will and allie just GROSS)

Favorite line (or lines) that you’ve written for a hallie fic/ a section that you’re really proud of

 this was so HARD. I couldn’t choose so I chose a couple. This one is from my soulmates one-shot “all you had to do was stay” and I just love it because of the angst. This whole fic is so angsty. 

 “Allie was told as a child that the timer on her wrist would lead her to the other half of her soul. But how could it be that her soul yearned and ached to stay in this man’s grasp when he wasn’t the one that made her timer run out?”

 I’m also really proud of this section from my hogwarts!au one shot. Just the nonchalance at which Harry admits his feelings feels so natural and I’m just proud of the banter. 

 “They’re alright.” He started looking for Rosmerta again. “You see, I used to have things for spiky Gryffindors but that turned sour really fast.”

 “Oh yeah?” Her voice was dripping with sass. “What happened? She saw how much of a dick you really are and thought better of it?” 

“No.” He shook his head, still not directly looking at her. “She started to have feelings for me but was too scared to face them.”

What type of Hallie stories do you like to write/read? (canon divergence, modern au, soulmate au, etc) 

I looove modern aus. I like exploring how things would’ve been if they hadn’t gone to New Ham and just see their relationship unfold without that horrible threat looming over them. 

How long have you been writing for? 

Well, I used to keep writing notebooks when I was like 8 or 9. I used to write chapter stories in them (and they were absolutely terrible) but I guess I’ve always been writing. I got back into in freshman year of high school though, when I met one of my favorite people in the world who was a writer and she inspired me to get back into it. 

How has you’re writing style evolved over time? 

I think my writing style has evolved in the fact that I’m writing more and more, like my chapters are longer. For example, I’m working on this one-shot that’s 97 pages long and I’m not even close to done lmao. I just feel like writing more helps the characters and the relationships develop more naturally. 

Do you ever worry about how your stories are received? 

Yes, absolutely. - What’s the hardest part of writing for you? Hardest part is keeping the momentum going. Like sometimes I have this great idea and I’m inspired but then I hit a filler scene I don’t wanna write and so then I don’t write anything and then the fic gets abandoned for months. 

Do you get writers block and if so how do you deal with it? 

I think my ten unfinished fics are PROOF that I get writers block lmao. I deal with it by waiting for inspiration and motivation to hit again in a couple months. So far that’s been working pretty badly. 

Biggest risk you’ve ever taken as a writer? 

The biggest risk for me is writing  professions or experiences that I know NOTHING about. I usually do a shit ton of research, like I was writing this court scene from scratch and I had to do so much research on how that would play out and I’m still not sure I did it right. 

Favorite Hallie trope? 

Enemies to lovers. Love that gradual building of trust and sexual tension!! 

Favorite Hallie headcanon? 

I just love the idea that Harry would know how to braid hair because of his sister and would just braid Allie’s hair all the time.

eek this is a lot. but thanks this was actually really fun to put together!

@brazilianchild‘s works are all absolutely amazing. her collection of au’s is so incredibly diverse and they are all amazing reads!

[hallie-fics]

author spotlight - newhams

“You know when this ends, can we still stay friends?”

“Yeah,” he returns, quietly. “Of course.”

give me your worst excuses  @new-hams​

i remember the first time i read one of @new-hams (newhams on ao3) works. i loved the concept, how familiar the characters felt, how natural the dialogue was. these are all the hallmarks of a really great fanfic. i absolutely can not wait to see what they write next, no matter the fandom, and it was great to get a bit of behind the scenes info!

q&a

Favourite of your stories (and why)? 

It has to be 'there you are (i hear you calling)' because it was the first fanfiction I'd written and posted for everyone to see so it's special for me. I was so nervous, but I got so much enjoyment out of writing it and getting to see people's reactions.new-hams

Easiest story to write?

 Definitely 'give me your worst excuses' - I've read so many fake dating aus that I had so many scenes circulating in my imagination. Also, Hallie can be a lot easier (and fun!) to write when they are more light hearted and mostly bantering with one another than the heaviness of their canon world/situation.new-hams

Hardest story to write? 

For me, it was 'there you are (i hear you calling)' because when approaching canon often I find Harry's characterisation harder to stick to, and I always want to manage his addiction responsibly rather than brushing over it, which adds a bit of difficulty.

Pre-writing process? 

I like to plan scenes out beforehand, usually my favourite moments, then work from there.new-hams

What drew you to Hallie? 

I loved their chemistry in the earlier episodes, and the way Harry actually noticed Allie unlike everyone else, but it was their scene 'about the other world' that cemented them as one of my favourite pairings. I think there's so much potential between them.new-hams

Hopes for season 2? 

I'm really hoping we see Harry save Allie, and help her take down Campbell. I'm all for the slowburn.

Favourite section that you've written for a hallie fic? 

Dewey shooting Allie, and Harry yelling her name in a panic and then waiting all that time in the hospital for her. (I'm just a sucker for that trope)

What type of Hallie stories do you like to write/read? 

I love ALL but lately I think modern aus have been my go-to for both reading and writing.

How long have you been writing for? 

My first fanfiction (which just so happens to be Hallie) was October last year! I'd always been scared of writing because I feel very self conscious of it.

 Do you ever worry about how your stories are received? 

YES. More than I'd like to admit.

What's the hardest part of writing for you? 

Starting! It takes me a long time to write an introduction that I like, which is very frustrating.

Do you get writers block and if so how do you deal with it?

 I actually just like to read other fics in the meantime. It usually sparks my creativity or love for hallie again to help me get back to writing.

Biggest risk you've ever taken as a writer? 

Honestly, just posting my work for everyone to see. My anxiety went through the roof the first day.

Favorite Hallie trope? 

The mutual pining and seemingly unrequited pining!!!

Favorite Hallie headcanon? 

That Harry always calls her Pressman.

again, such a honor to get to talk to @new-hams about their writing! would definitely recommend both of their works to just about anyone who likes hallie! 

[hallie-fics]

author spotlight - wolfchester

It’s cold, and she’s tired, and the sun will be up in an hour or two, and Harry feels safe. He feels like someone she can talk to. She hasn’t spoken about Cassandra in so long, her voice feels rusty just saying her name.

- bloody shirt @tommeshelby

the quality of this authors fics never ceases to amaze me. ugh, the world building! i am beyond excited to read everything they write and to see the conclusion to some of the best multi-chapter aus in the fandom! 

q&a

Favorite of your stories (and why): 

uhhh bloody shirt, i think? i love my royalty au because that’s what people seem to love the most too, but bloody shirt is soooo fun to write. i love the peaky blinders world and it’s so fun to write allie as a gangster wow 

Easiest story to write: 

bloody shirt! i can churn out chapters for that so fast. haven’t been writing much lately bc life = busy but when i do, that’s the first in-progress fic i go to! 

Hardest story to write: 

un immense amour for sure!! not that i don’t LIKE writing it — i love that story! — but i do feel lots of pressure to keep putting chapters out even when i have writers block! i love that people love it though and i’m working on a new chapter now 

Pre-writing process (if any): 

gotta find a SOUNDTRACK for all my fics, for SURE. e.g. taylor swift for royalty au, perfume genius and the 1975 for a million little battles, and laura marling for bloody shirt. once i have some songs in my head that go with the story i want to tell, writing comes SO easily 

What drew you to Hallie: 

the love/hate relationship between a badass girl and the “cool dude” is such an age-old cliche but it works SO WELL with this show, so i was drawn to them instantly. i love that harry softens around allie and she to him. ughhhhh i love their dynamic 

Hopes for season 2: 

i’d be lying if i didn’t say more allie and harry!!! i also want to find out what the significance of charlie was?? and also i want elle to leave campbell damn it! but yeah, mainly more allie and harry. i want to seem rule new ham together 

Favorite line (or lines) that you’ve written for a hallie fic/ a section that you’re really proud of: 

oh god uhh maybe this part of the second chap of bloody shirt? 

She tilts her head and squints at him, like she’s trying to figure him out. “You know what we do, then?” she says slowly. “You know who we are?” You know what I am? You know what I have done, what I could do? You know I have a gun at my back and a knife on my thigh, and a whole army out there on the streets? You know I watched my sister and a thousand men die in that fucking French mud? You know I’ve killed men for owing me money, for looking at me the wrong way? 

“You work with horses,” he says carefully, but the hard line of his jaw proves that he knows exactly what’s she’s asking, and understands.

What type of Hallie stories do you like to write/read? (canon divergence, modern au, soulmate au, etc): 

soulmate au’s GET ME every time. i do prefer fics that are relatively canon-compliant though bc then i can imagine them as literally being the script for the second season hahaha — says me who writes literally only au’s LOL 

How long have you been writing for?: 

for hallie? maybe 6-8 months? writing fic in general maybe 8 years? since i was like 15!! 

How has your writing style evolved over time?:

 what a difficult question!! i like to think i have a certain style that i like to stick to? very dialogue heavy and action-oriented? i think i’ve improved in plotting stories better over the years and having more realistic dialogue 

Do you ever worry about how your stories are received?: 

hmmm sometimes, it depends on the fic! i mostly just right for my own selfish fun hahah. the most anxious i’ve been has been with un immense amour bc so many people have read it and i care about them enjoying it!! 

What’s the hardest part of writing for you?: 

getting the stories ACTUALLY finished! hardly ever happens lol 

Do you get writers block and if so how do you deal with it?: 

yes, all the time! if i have time to sit down and write but don’t know what to put down, i’ll usually put on music that reminds me of the characters (that soundtrack thing i mentioned earlier) and then reread over my stories so i can remember what i wrote and see if any new ideas prick up. most of the time, it’s just taking time to actually sit down and write

Biggest risk you’ve ever taken as a writer?: 

definitely plotting like 14 or 16 or whatever chapters for un immense amour. now i gotta WRITE all of them hahaha! 

Favorite Hallie trope?: 

rich douchebag falls for badass girl. always 

Favorite Hallie headcanon?:

 oh, only that harry is head over heels for allie but doesn’t want to admit it to himself hehe

reading through these answers was so fun! so grateful to @tommeshelby for answering these q’s and giving some insight into her writing process and thoughts behind certain fics! bloody shirt will forever be one of my favorites so i’m very happy to hear that it’s fun and easy to write!

[hallie-fics]

author spotlight - still_i_fall

He wants to forget how it felt to be hers for just one second.

- remember it’s all pretend @in-my-head-i-do-everything-right

one of the most prolific writers in the hallie fandom, @in-my-head-i-do-everything-right (still_i_fall) has graced us with classic after classic. i had an absolute blast talking with her, and hope you all enjoy the interview!

q&a

Hey! Thanks again for including me in this! Very excited to answer the questions. I love talking about myself. 

Favorite of your stories (and why)

I almost got stuck on this question. I really want to say remember it’s all pretend because I am so incredibly proud of that one. It was the first multi chapter fic that I ever properly finished and I feel like that really means something to me. I also really love that concept, and how it was able to fit in slowburn and enemies to friends to lovers and mutual pining plus a million other little tropes. And, most of all, it was really fun to write. It happened really easily. It’s something I’ll go back to sometimes if I’m ever in the mood to reread my own work. 

But I also love this new thing that I just wrote called i just wanna dance with you. I think if I can pull it off, it could be something really amazing. I was able to write the first chapter in about a week and had a ton of fun doing it. And I really love writing Harry’s pov and just switching things up a little. Ugh, I really love the idea of hallie meeting/knowing each other as little kids and I think that’s pretty apparent in these two fics. 

Easiest story to write

I’ll stop the world (and melt with you) happened really quickly which I guess qualifies it as easy to write. I thought it’d be more difficult just because so much of it is dependent on canon which is something I’m not entirely used to, but it ended up going to fast. I think somewhere I still have a page of notes on that Prom episode and everything that happens to Allie and Harry. I really wanted to include pieces of dialogue from the show. 

I also think it was because I used to do this thing when I was bored where I’d think about who I’d want to be trapped in a Groundhog day like loop with and what’d I’d do. It was just this recurring thought/ daydream I had when I was younger so it’s definitely a situation that I’ve thought through a little. 

Hardest story to write

The taste, the touch, the way we love has been a pain in the ass to write right from the start. Sometimes it’s really fun, but I think I’ve been sticking way too close to the outline I drew at the very start and have been avoiding writing it for too long. Sometimes I absolutely love to write it and have the time of my life, and other times I hate it. There’s not much of an in between. Still definitely want to finish it. Just waiting on that final bit of inspiration. 

Pre-writing process

I’m all about doing a full outline. Usually. With most longer fics (anything I think will be over 6,000 words), I do a full outline where I plan out the progression of the fic and specific scenes and pieces of dialogue. Usually, the plot hits me all at once and is usually the easiest part of the writing process for me. From that original outline, I usually have at least a few specific scenes fully planned out with pieces of dialogue and/or exposition. For example, for i’ll stop the world I started out the planning process with the introduction piece of the fic. That first paragraph is straight out of the note apps on my phone. A lot of the time it’ll end up being a bullet point list of main bits. I’ll use parentheses to specify the tone of a scene or little details and then use brackets for things that I want verbatim in the fic. 

But sometimes I end up with very little pre-planning. The skating au is kinda the only good example of this. I only had the roughest of outlines for that one (how i wanted the first chapter to start and end) and everything else just came together as I tried to get from point A to point B. 

What drew you to Hallie

The potential. They could have a really great story and I think that’s fun. There’s a lot of chemistry there and their dynamic is fun and, yeah, I think I’m a little too far in to get out now.

Favorite line (or lines)/ section you’re proud of

God, I have so many. Hope you don’t mind me going through them. It’s incredibly self indulgent but also gives me an excuse to go through my old works.

From the very first hallie fic I ever wrote, how you wish it would be all the time:

“And Harry's not perfect. He's not what she wanted before this all started or even really after, but everything's different now.”

Sometimes I forget about this fic, but I really shouldn’t cause there is a solid chance that this was my peak. And this line is really fun. 

From we kiss and we keep busy:

“The stars may have moved a little bit, but they’re still there, and they still look the same, and that’s good enough for her.”

I promise I’m not going through every hallie fic I’ve ever written but god I love this line. 

From i saved a picture where your hair was braided:

“It’s late nights and long talks and video games and cookie dough. It’s almost kisses, then definite kisses, and then not wanting to wake up anywhere but his bed. That’s how she starts to fall in love with Harry Bingham.”

Just that last part. That last line. The rest is just there for some fun context. Fun fact: this entire little mini fic was a desperate attempt to stave off writer's block and is based entirely around that single line in the song Donna by the lumineers. Still had a lot of fun with it, though.

From remember it’s all pretend:

“He wonders when she’ll realise that this hasn’t been pretend for him in years.    Probably never.    (He’d still run away with her.)”

“In the back of her mind, Allie wonders why she didn’t try harder to stay with Harry, why now she can only seem to fall in love in front of a camera where there’s the promise of pretend.”

“She likes to think that they’re still friends, that they’re just friends who don’t talk anymore, two people who drifted because one couldn’t handle the idea of change.”

This fic has a million little bits that I love. I could literally go on forever. It’s just full of that mutual pining angst that I live for. 

From but i close my eyes and i’m somewhere else:

“She did not mention this earlier because she was trying desperately hard to ignore it, but fuck, she’s really missed him calling her Pressman.”

“She wonders if Cassandra has any travel sized neck pillows.”

This fic is surprisingly good seeing as I don’t remember writing it at all. I was very much high on some sort of flu medication while writing this and I think that explains a lot about this fic. It’s fun, though. I really love the tone.

From the taste, the touch, the way we love:

“She starts to feel like she couldn’t avoid Harry if she wanted to (and somehow, as the days turn into weeks, she finds herself not wanting to more and more).”

“There’s saltwater in her eyes, hair, and mouth. Harry’s leaning back in it, floating. She is too. The water is blue, and warm, and the sky is clear. Sometimes his hand will grab hers just to pull her closer. When she thinks of calm, of happiness, and vacation, she’ll think of this moment.”

“They’re quiet for a moment. Maggie Rogers can be heard in the background, faded and slow. Harry’s tapping his fingers along to it on the wheel, eyes staring straight ahead. The road is lined with trees, and it all feels like home.”

“For a half a second, she thinks she loves him. She pushes that away and watches him throw wrapping paper behind him dramatically. She pushes it away and she smiles and she laughs and she tries not to think too hard about what all of this means.”

This fic definitely has its moments. I’m really excited to get the last part done and out, though. I just feel like I’ve spent too long on this fic. I want it done.

From i just wanna dance with you:

“Allie met Harry the same day Cassandra did. It was early in the morning and she was four and now, when she looks back, all she can remember from the moment is the vague outline of wild hair and a smile so bright and wide and carefree that it really can’t be anyone else’s.”

“She tries to remember that she likes skating with Will, that there’s no point in wondering what it’d be like if things were just a little bit different.”

“She lied earlier; gold, silver, bronze, doesn’t matter. Harry always looks good.”

“The first time he ever placed first in a competition, she was skating with him. He wonders how long he’ll associate the feeling of a gold medal around his neck with her hand in his. He hopes it’s not long. “

I’m so excited to finish this fic like you guys don’t even understand. It’s really fun and it feels easy to write (so far; knock on wood) and I love the concept. 

What type of Hallie stories do you like to write/read?

I only write au’s just because I think the rules are little different, everything’s just a little bit more relaxed. You’re allowed so much freedom when it’s a completely different universe and I really love that. I went through a phase recently where I was obsessed with canon divergence and this whole idea of a history of contingency. Just there being these points or moments where if one thing was just a little different, everything would’ve changed. I love that and I think that’s really apparent in my drafts/ unreleased wips. 

I’ll read anything, though. Especially with the Hallie ao3 page being so small. I do definitely have a preference still towards au’s, though.

How long have you been writing

For forever. As a kid, I’d fill up entire notebooks with story ideas. It was my favorite thing to do. When I was twelve, a teacher complimented my writing, and I think that really stuck with me. It’s just something I’ve always enjoyed doing. 

Do you ever worry about how your stories are received

Not really. A little bit with multi chapter stories just because I really want every chapter to be better than the last. I just really don’t want to disappoint anyone. 

What’s the hardest part of writing for you

The middle bits. I usually have a very clear idea of the beginning and end so it’s everything in between that I have trouble with. I think that’s why I’m so big on outlining.

Do you ever get writer's block and how do you deal with it

Oh my god all the fucking time! Right now, for example. Usually, I just try to work through it, especially if I have a project in progress. I also do a lot of reading to try to force some sort of inspiration. A lot of what I write is based on what I’m reading. I’ll also listen to music. And, recently, I’ve been making mood boards for my fics which has been so much fun. I really like looking at pretty pictures.

Biggest risk you’ve taken as a writer

Lol I don’t really take risks. I think the riskiest thing I do is post the first chapter of a story with none of the second chapter started. I do that a lot. 

Favorite Hallie trope

Reluctant friends to very good friends to lovers. Also, living together without establishing a clear relationship. I write that a lot. Mutual pining is always fun too. 

Favorite Hallie headcanon

That Harry calls Allie ‘Pressman’ which forces Allie to call him ‘Bingham’. I just think there’s something so fun about calling someone by their last name. Plus, then you get that moment when the first name is used and that gets to be significant. Oh, also that they both swear like sailors, but that’s mostly self-insert on my part.

This felt very self indulgent, but I hope it was at least somewhat enjoyable for someone. 

I am forever waiting to read whatever @in-my-head-i-do-everything-right writes next. It was great to see some of the behind the scenes and I would definitely recommend her latest release cities you’ll never see on screen.

[hallie-fics]

author spotlight - restlessqueenx

“If you get yourself killed doing this,” Harry murmurs, his hand on the back of her neck, his forehead warm where it's leaning against hers, “I will never ever forgive you.”

- Someday I’ll Need Your Spine to Hide Behind @restlessqueenx

it’s not hard to note the fics that define a fandom. this author has written three, three defining stories. the amount of love and respect i have for them is immense, and i was honored to be able to ask and receive answers for these various questions regarding everything from their writing process to favorite hallie headcanon. 

this is only the first in a series of interviews done with hallie authors. if there’s anyone who you’d like to see, please message me and i’ll get that sorted out right away!

the q&a

*quick note, I tend to shorten my titles when talking about them because I always pick such long titles, so I may refer to Someday I’ll Need Your Spine to Hide Behind as “Spine,” It Feels Like Winter Follows You Around as “Winter” and Screaming at the Stars as “Stars”

Favorite of your stories (and why)

I think, at least right now, it has to be Someday I’ll Need Your Spine to Hide Behind, because it’s complete. Also, because Winter (Harry’s POV) wouldn’t exist without it (I had never intended to write it, and it just sort of happened), and Screaming at the Stars is probably more in the vein of what I normally write, but I can’t decide how satisfied I am with it until I wrap it up.

Easiest story to write

Probably Screaming at the Stars because it just sort of showed up as this emotion in my chest and I knew I wanted to put it down on the page. Spine was pretty time consuming because it’s canon divergent and I was constantly having to check scenes to get the dialogue/descriptions right. I wanted to use as much of canon as I could, but that meant that I couldn’t really write it if I wasn’t home with the episodes available. Winter was (is) difficult because of how dark of a headspace I sometimes have to get into with Harry. Stars is overall a much lighter emotional space to access.

Hardest story to write

Spine, just because of how much work it took to weave the canon with the canon divergence and reframe scenes. Winter is easier because (even though it does include some scenes that aren’t in Spine) I have the blueprint of Spine to refer to, and I reuse some sections of it word for word to highlight the difference in POV when it diverges. Winter is definitely emotionally heavier, but it’s less tedious work.

Pre-writing process (if any)

For me, it depends a lot on the fic. With Spine, the very first thing that came to me was “What if I wrote a soulmate AU where the only thing that indicates that is that wherever you fall asleep, you always wake up where your soulmate is?” Then I thought, “Could this be set in the canon universe? How would that potentially just twist around or change what we’ve seen?” And everything spiralled out from there. I didn’t really outline initially, I started writing it, just to see where it was going. Then I ended up having to go through every episode and watch each Harry, Allie, and Hallie scene and write basic outlines of the dialogue and what happened in those scenes so I could start to figure out how to adjust the scenes/story to fit the soulmate AU idea. I’m not very patient about outlines, so I mostly just bullet point brief descriptions of what I need to write and then re-examine the scene as I’m writing. I’ve never written something that relied so heavily on canon before. It’s a lot of work and I’m really impressed by people who do it regularly. So Spine’s pre-writing was basically an idea on a twisted trope (I don’t know if I’m the first person to think of it, but I’ve never read a soulmate au with the basis of Spine before) and then watching/transposing the canon scenes. Winter didn’t really have any since I had Spine as a basis. Stars I started thinking about while taking a shower and I just jumped right into it.

What drew you to Hallie?

I love ships that I see potential for, but aren’t all neatly worked out immediately in canon. And I love ships that I feel the characters have a lot of potential to grow and change as individuals within the relationship. I was a little unsure about Hallie at first as I was watching the show, because it took me a while to work out how I felt about Harry in general, but I just see so much potential for a great story between them. And, to be quite honest, Kathryn and Alex just have loads and loads of on screen chemistry, they just light up with each other in scenes. Sometimes actors just have that with each other and it’s almost hard to look away.

Hopes for season 2

Growth and help for Harry! I’m okay with having to wait for romantic Hallie (presuming we get more seasons) as long as keeping them apart feels organic and true to the story (and not done solely for tension & keeping the audience coming back), but I need to see Harry receive help (I get that he can’t get professional help in these circumstances, but he really needs people who are genuinely looking out for him and trying to help him) and to also grow as a person and make better decisions/amends for some of his actions. I want Harry to have friends/people who actually care about him. While I really love Kelly’s character, and appreciate that she’s tried to keep an eye out for him, I think Harry needs people in his life outside of just an ex (and obviously outside of Campbell) and that’s pretty much all he’s had for a while. Harry’s so isolated in season 1, and I don’t see him being able to develop much (in a positive manner) if he continues to be so isolated in season 2.

Favorite line (or lines) that you’ve written for a hallie fic/ a section that you’re really proud of

From Spine, probably my favorite pieces are-

Allie tells him to leave like it matters, like come morning she won't find herself curled in his bed, close enough to feel his body heat. She tells him to go, because she wants to hate him, thinks she deserves to hate him, but she doesn't. And that's even worse.

And then the end, which I wrote long before I actually got to it. Specifically-

“There's probably a world somewhere,” Harry says, and his voice rumbles through his chest, against her skin, “where we never worked any of this out, and you and I are on opposite sides and always will be.”

“Probably.” It wouldn't be hard, she thinks, to have ended up somewhere else, anywhere else. They fought for this, a small sliver of peace in a fucked up world. It might be all they get.

“I'm glad it's not this one.”

“Me too.” Under her cheek, his heartbeat is steady, in sync with hers.

From Winter my absolute favorite section so far is the flashback to Harry when he’s 13 & deals with his familial relationships. I also am pretty happy with-

Allie is simultaneously fragile and hard as steel, one for a moment, the other the next. Harry doesn't understand it, how she can bear to wear her feelings to blatantly on her face, how she survives without a protective shell to keep her safe. He could never do that. She doesn't burrow down inside herself, she burns. He almost can't even watch it. Harry doesn't know what he is, but he knows Allie is something else entirely.

And-

She lets out a little shaky exhale. “I don't know how to hate you.”

Harry wonders how that can be. It's easy, he wants to say, if she doesn't already, all she needs to do is crack open his ribs, see that dark void yawning underneath, that place he falls into. But Allie isn't like him, even her darkest moods and thoughts are full of fire, casting light. Allie burns things down, she doesn't swallow them up.

He tells her the truth, one he's known for a long time. “I do.”

And, finally-

She's not starlight or sunlight or candlelight, she's a forest fire. When she leans into him, skin fever hot and her nails biting into his shoulders, he wonders if her inferno could burn the darkness right out from behind his ribs. Harry thinks he could be reduced to ashes, but he'd still let her try.

From Stars, I’m a little less sure, but I do like this part-

Just outside the doors, she catches a glimpse of Harry, head thrown back, laughing, his friends crowding close to him like moths to a flame, like they can't help it. Harry's always been magnetic. Allie remembers his face in the moonlight, the way she'd felt compelled to lean closer. It wasn't her fault; if you get close enough to Harry, he draws you into his orbit, planets rotating around a sun, basking in his light. Even now, her feet ache to drift in his direction. Those aren't her friends, he's not her friend anymore, but his gravitational pull is strong.

What type of Hallie stories do you like to write/read? (canon divergence, modern au, soulmate au, etc)

I’m an AU girl at heart, which is ironic considering 2 of my 3 Hallie fics are canon divergent. But really, I’m a big fan of AUs, almost any of them, I love them so much. I think I get more and more attracted to them the further I get into a show (the more seasons) because canon gets more confining as you have more of it. I think the kind of AU I like the most depends on the ship. I like soulmate AUs (obviously, I wrote one, lol) for Hallie because they have a history of not being super fond of each other & it’s a great way to force them to interact.

Favorite Hallie trope?

I think…. maybe Bed Sharing? You may notice that I write it into like everything I write ever. I just love the intimacy of it and the conversations people can have late at night in the dark or sleepy in the early morning. I dunno. It’s a thing for me, I guess.

Favorite Hallie headcanon?

I haven’t written it into anything (yet), but I have this mental picture of Modern AU Hallie getting really competitive about playing boardgames with each other. That has a soft spot in my heart.

How long have you been writing for?

Pretty much as long as I can remember. The first thing I can remember writing (like thinking I was seriously writing something people would want to read) was this ridiculous story about unicorn royalty when I was about seven years old. I never finished it, but I think I actually did write like at least a couple thousand words before I quit. I have hundreds of beginnings of original works, literally several hundred, but most of them are only a few hundred words. My parents always encouraged me to write, so it was just something I did pretty much ever since I physically could.

How has your writing style evolved over time?

Oh, I’m not even sure where to begin with this. Because I’ve been writing since I was really young, it’s definitely evolved a lot, some of it just through age and getting a better grasp of language, and some of it deliberately. I think when I was younger, I tried really hard to mimic the styles of writers I liked, and I’ve definitely moved away from that as I’ve gotten older and found my own voice. I’m not trying to sound like anyone in particular now. That’s not to say I don’t find other writers influential, I certainly do, but I’m not actively attempting to write in someone else’s style. I think everyone who writes is always evolving. You can’t help but be influenced by everything you read and absorb.

Do you ever worry about how your stories are received?

All the time. I only have 3 works on the restlessqueen AO3, but I think I’ve posted about 25 fanfictions over various platforms/accounts for various fandoms and ships, and I get nervous about them every time. Whenever I write something, I usually get this glow of like “Oh, I’ve done something and I like it!” and then that sort of slowly wears off and I start to just question everything about it. I don’t know anyone who feels 100% confident about the stuff they post. I think I’m a little less nervous about it than I used to be, because people have been very kind to me for the most part (I have one old fic from around 2012/13 that got a couple of comments that still haunt me a bit, but other than that I’ve had good experiences) and so that’s helped ease some of my fears. I think what makes me the most worried now is when I post something and I just don’t get much feedback or it takes quite a while for responses to roll in, because I’m always thinking like “is it really so bad no one has literally anything to say?? Is it that bad and I didn’t realize it?” Also, I’m a bit insecure about my descriptive writing, I feel like I don’t do a very good job of describing location/setting, and it’s something I’m working on. I’m always a little scared someone will say they basically just didn’t get any sort of mental picture from what I write.

What’s the hardest part of writing for you?

Focus. I have so many ideas always bouncing around my head, but I get distracted super easily. I can’t ever seem to only do one thing at a time. If I’m writing, I’m definitely either listening to music or sometimes even playing a podcast in the background because it’s like if there’s any free space at all in my brain, I just completely lose my ability to do anything. It’s a big struggle for me. I actually write with the most focus when I’m supposed to be doing something else. I wrote 150k worth of an original piece by writing when I was supposed to be taking notes in history class in high school. In fact, a lot of my fanfiction has been written during lectures, because somehow if I’m supposed to be focusing on something else, I’m almost always the most productive version of my writing self. I wish I were different, though.

Do you get writer’s block and if so how do you deal with it?

Ugh. Unfortunately. I’m not great at handling writer’s block, tbh. Sometimes I just don’t write for a long time. I think reading can sometimes oust me from it, but not always. The worst is that occasionally I have to just push through it and write my way out of it (which basically means just writing really uninspired crap until I manage to find some inspiration again). I do think that talking to someone about what I’m working on is a big help, though it’s not always an available option. I’m part of a writing group, and I usually feel really inspired after we’ve had a writing discussion.

Biggest risk you’ve ever taken as a writer?

Wow, this is actually a really hard question. I feel like I’m not a big risk taker, and this is making me wonder if maybe I should try to take more writing risks. I guess most recently it could be creating the restlessqueen AO3. I made it because I have written quite a few fics for a pretty large fandom and I had gotten comfortable within that space and I thought it would be good for me to step outside of that world for a bit. I think it really has been, too.

again, the biggest of thanks to @restlessqueenx for doing this with me! to anyone who hasn’t read any of these fics, please do so immediately. each of them are amazing and i will never step recommending them!

[in-my-head-i-do-everything-right]

cities you’ll never see on screen

The night before the Games, she goes up to the roof of the training center for fresh air. The elevator makes her dizzy, but the sky, the blue and the light, reminds her of home. He meets her up there.

She stares at him. “You’re winning.” It comes out in a rush. He’s her best friend. She’s never known anything as much as she knows that.

-

or harry and allie and the hunger games in fourteen different places with fourteen different names

ao3

[hallie-fics]

i am too delicate right now for this omg

[restlessqueenxx]

In her head, Harry has always been summer, the soft scrape of pages turning, dive bombing into a pool, stargazing on the roof, orange popsicles, fireflies in jars. Now, he’s other things too. The anxious twist of a ring around his finger, a bruise on her collarbone, body heat, hurt so deep she could fall into it, and laughing because otherwise you’ll cry.

[hallie-fics]

omg and this too! i’m definitely reading this asap as well! how did i miss this??? i feel a bit like a fake hallie fan rn.

[in-my-head-i-do-everything-right]

i just wanna dance with you (pt 1)   ao3

But somehow, she associates the snow with him. When she sees it in the morning, in the parking lot of the rink, filtered through the streetlamps, the first person that comes to mind is Harry Bingham.

-

or harry and allie and the ice dance au that absolutely no one asked for

Keep reading

[hallie-fics]

interrupting your regularly scheduled programming to tell you all that this just came out and i am about to spend the next two hours absolutely devouring it. very excited.

[hallie-fics]

By The Coast When I Held Your Hand - smc_27

Most of the time, she can go through her days without thinking of New Ham. Most days, it feels like a dream. They’re going on 4 years removed from it now. Applying to UCLA was mostly an impulse and definitely just something to appease her parents. Getting in was surprising, but it also felt, truly, like exactly what she needed. She didn’t think fucking Harry Bingham would end up here, too.

She hasn’t even finished her first glass of champagne - and therefore isn’t nearly drunk enough - when he walks through the door.

(or, a random NYE fic.)

ao3 @livinginrhythm

first of all, i’m absolutely in love with the title of this fic. it’s just so good. so pretty!

i think this is one of the first post new ham fics (or at least one of the first that treats new ham as this thing of the past, as something that’s incredibly important but not a main plot point). i really enjoyed it, getting a snapshot into allie’s life post everything. 

this fic felt very natural in the manner in which things were revealed. allie’s relationship (or lack of) with harry is one very clear example. how they knew each other once upon a time forever ago. how they’ve gone through all of this before.

and the ending was so amazing. it was open and clean and left things up for grabs. it left you wanting more while simultaneously creating a pretty clear conclusion. 

just like the other hallie fics by this writer, the dialogue is absolutely perfect! it all felt so right. and allie’s internal narration was great!!!

would 10/10 recommend this fic to anyone! a pretty quick read and something that i think hold up really well!

[hallie-fics]

Words Are Too Hard to Keep On Their Own - smc_27

About half hour into the day this guy walks in wearing a wrinkled blue button down and a leather cross body bag. He smiles at her and takes his bag off as he stands at the desk directly across from hers. He reaches over their monitors, extending a hand to her.

“Harry,” he says, simply.

“Allie,” she replies, shaking his hand.

“I know,” he tells her, and she thinks there’s something arrogant about that being his answer to her introduction.

ao3 @livinginrhythm

hey! long time no see! 

so so so many amazing fics have come out while i was away and i feel like i have to keep yall at least sorta up to date so here we go!

this is one of my personal favorites. i love a good workplace au and oh my god this one is really good! i mean, they’re both journalists and they just fall in love and their banter-- oh my god their banter. 

this author is really great and i’m excited to read more from them! a definite 10/10 would recommend and probably one of my favorite no new ham au’s out there. 

(like the secret relationship part and then also them being best friends before-- *chefs kiss*)

[hallie-fics]

Hii. Unfortunately that wasn’t the fic that was looking for. Anyway all I can remember is that Harry finds out before her that he is her soulmate and obviously he doesn’t tell her. But in the moment that Allie put herself to protect Cassandra (just like in the tv show), he felt her name on his skin like burning (cause she put herself in danger ). That’s literally all I can remember

oooh that sounds so good! i can’t seem to find it, though. maybe it was in ‘Someday I’ll Need Your Spine to Hide Behind’ but when i looked i couldn’t find a moment like the one you described.

if anyone can find the fic that’s being described, please hmu!!! i’m so curious now!