Feel Good

I've been here for over a decade so you can pry whatever the fuck this is from my cold, dead hands.

[netflix]

since you're dead boys do you only solve crimes for dead people? Is there a group of girls doing the same thing? Or is it even more opposite and cases you can't cover are solved by the Alive Girl Detectives? When will the Nonbinary Coma Detectives be revealed?

[gloomiedyke]

I'm crying with laughter

[happy-mokka]

...and this, dear children, is the story how @hallowyeet became Tumblr royalty. They lived happily ever after, I hope... 🤗😘❤️

[hallowyeet]

what it looked like when I checked my asks that morning.

I'd seen the "ask the Dead Boy Detectives" thing and went "lol wtf is a dead boy detective", sent the ask, and forgot the entire exchange happened at all.

[bob-belcher]

Bob’s Burgers, Turkey in a Can (S04E05)

[mx-brahms]

Ancient egyptian: I wonder what shape we should give our pharao's tomb

The perilously pointy pyramid:

[woodsywarbler]

[delicatecombat]

Mourning Doves

[roseytint-deactivated20181213]

a concept: heavy rainfall when you’re tucked up in bed. like if u agree.

[metanarrates]

all women should be more hairy and sweaty and eat more food and laugh more loudly. my stance as a feminist and also my stance as a lesbian pervert

[styxbugg]

Happy pride month

[beardedmrbean]

[youcanstillwhistle]

I think the "pre" and "post" parts in "preposterous" should cancel each other out but everyone else seems to find my idea completely erous

[ilovecoelacanths]

went to a new optometrist today wearing my squid facts ‘save our freaks’ shirt from @sarahmackattack that has a strawberry squid on it. and i wasn’t even thinking about it but the optometrist walked in and he was like ‘oh what does your shirt say’ so i showed him and he was like ‘oh that’s neat!’ and then i thought he might like to know about strawberry squid eyes since they have weird eyes and he is an optometrist and all. so i was like ‘yeah it’s actually a real kind of squid called a strawberry squid, their eyes are really cool because they have one big yellow-green one and one small blue one’ and he kind of gasped and went ‘oh my god that’s so interesting i wonder why they have that. do you know what their retina composition is like?’ and i watched as he minimized my chart on the computer and started looking up images of strawberry squid and then he googled ‘strawberry squid retina composition’ and he was like ‘sorry we’ll get to your eye exam in a moment i just really want to find out’ LMAO 10/10 optometrist experience will be returning

[sarahmackattack]

Hell yeah

[soychronicprocrastinator]

He’s in the right for that this is so cool

[ilovecoelacanths]

it’s true strawberry squid are pretty awesome

[hallowyeet]

Me playing Baldur's Gate 3 for the first time, to my husband: So did you let him drink your blood?

My husband: No?

Me: Haha yeah what kind of weirdo would do that

Meanwhile, my character:

[hallowyeet]

Update: I went into that swamp excited to make Shrek jokes and instead I got the hints of the most tragic backstory I've seen in a long time what the fuck

[lgbt-tiktoks]

Description: [A video of a woman riding a galloping horse bareback while holding a large rainbow flag.]

[nattousan]

i felt like these tags really added to the experience, thanks @cynderxdustypaws for your knowledge

[ororium-z]

Happy Pride!

[rootbeergoddess]

Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions

[thesaltofcarthage]

I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.

[only-cat-memes]

[partywithponies]

When the player character dialogue options in a game all suck:

[elysiumwaters]

[scooplery]

"it's just growing pains" -> "you're too young for that to hurt that bad" -> "you just need to get in better shape" -> "welcome to being old, everyone is in pain"

[byjove]

Imagine going on a movie date with a girl and she shows up to the movie theatre with a big huge fuckoff suspiciously large purse so you assume she’s maybe sneaking in snacks but the movie starts and you look over and she’s in the middle of a knitting project. She gets up halfway through the film to use the bathroom and accidentally knocks over her bag and balls of yarn go rolling down the aisle in the empty movie theatre like tumbleweeds and you have to go running after them. I think I’d marry her.