It's been quite some time since I haven't visited this page.
anyway, I have been living in uncertainty for months.. been applying my subspecialities twice.. the first one didn't secure as I was disqualified due to not completing 2 years post gazettment..but this 2nd attempt, by right, I fulfilled all those criteria. unfortunately, due to some technical glitch on the government site, my batch ( 90% of us) , didn't manage to secure for the criteria.. but our HOS will appeal for us.. again.. uncertain kan.. here I am .. in a district hospital for almost 3 years, I am indeed regressing.. I don't find any light yet.. I pray .. I pray and keep on praying.. I did approach a few people including the HOS for this.. knowing me,, the introvert, I don't normally go and approach other people.. just follow the flow.. but.. I need to chase my dream.. I need to get out from this comfort zone.. I don't want to get rusted forever... Hence, here I am.. persevere, struggling to get out of it..
"And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out and will provide for him from where he does not expect." — Surah At-Talaq 65:2-3
but deep down, I believe Allah's promises.. HE will provide the best for me.. perhaps at the right time.. : (
I don't know whether I can hold on to this dream until how long..
should I just give up and surrender? I'm already dreaming of expanding services after this fellowship training.. huuu.
but I guess Allah knows better..
well, my career progression is still uncertain, and my marriage is obviously still in the dark ..
hahaha.. in which I already gave up with this fate... perhaps staying single is the best for me in this dunya... LOLs.
getting older alone, in solitude and on my own.
I try to stay optimistic, but deep down, I still need to address my sadness, my disappointment... though I still need to stay patient and just move on with my life.
people might see my smile, my cheerful face... but only Allah knows my sadness. :(
ok .. that's all for my ranting.
Please pray for my smooth journey...amin