11/23
We got into a fight tonight over ordering dinner.
I wanted to treat us to takeout because I haven't been able to cook or clean much being on 2nd shift. Also, I had landed an interview for a new job that I'm excited for, I wanted to celebrate a little. I asked last night what she wanted to order, but she suggested we wait a day.
Tonight I suggested pizza, hoagies, or burgers, but I got from her reactions that nothing was quite right. Eventually, when asked if anything was popping, she said "nothing you would like" so i told her to order what she wants, I don't mind.
That put too much pressure on the situation, it seems. She got quiet, like I had done something wrong. I walked away to do another load of dishes. I came back to our room to let her know our cats second water fountain had seemingly burnt out its motor, and asked her again to let me know what she wanted for dinner.
Eventually she went downstairs and made herself something to eat, I do not know what.
In hindsight, I see the signs that I should have dropped the subject. In the moment, I was hungry and frustrated with my partner making things more complicated.
When discussing this later, she said she didn't want any of the things I had suggested, and didn't want the stress of picking dinner after needing to do so while I've been on second shift. Since I have been working a different schedule, she has needed to manage meals on her own. I pointed out that I was not aware of this current stress, but would have, and did, validate it.
I've been burnt out on cooking, I've listened to my partner suggest things I don't want. I don't think she's wrong for needing a break from these things. It wasn't ok to expect me to pick up on this, especially in the middle of a conversation about dinner.
I am sorry, that I haven't been able to cook more. I haven't been doing the dishes as often as I could. I mentioned that to her this morning, before doing a load.
I feel guilty for saying this, but I think for my own sake I need to say this. She's on her period.
This is not the first time this year, that a fight has broken out on the third week of the month. I don't often keep a journal. I find myself journaling in periods of high stress, like now. I often journal after a fight. I date them. Back in July, I noticed how many times I've needed to journal around the 21st of the month.














