Hamster Raps

[hamsterraps-blog]

Big Ol’ Rappy Slappy

Dip my balls in milk

soak ‘em in silk

[hamsterraps-blog]

Rap 11: Mr. Ticklish

I life logs like a ticklish Boggs//

Sportin’ my clogs, hit pause on DVR Jaws//

Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken//

Whip my dick out dressed up like Scottie Pippin//

[hamsterraps-blog]

Rap 10: Shampoo Suit

I’m shinin’ like a shampoo suit//

In a suite, filled with nothin’ but meat//

wall-to-wall, pickled pig balls//

What a treat! An unbelievable feat//

How many could you eat if you had to hit the center?//

Life’s philosophical questions are rarely answered//

You think you’re fuckin’ special just because you’re a Cancer?//

Well I’m Aquarius, bitch, plus I’m a dancer//

Who are you?//

[hamsterraps-blog]

Rap 9: Purple Goose

Drankin’ purple goose while I’m on the loose//

Wrapped in bubble goose drinkin’ Lincoln juice//

Bout to start an app called JOOSE//

Need funding like a peppermint needs tooths//

Uhhhh//

I’m the king with a lima bean-//

-studded crown, feeling loud, show my penis proud//

You a clown with a ticklish pig//

tucked under ya arm smellin’ like a licorice stick//

[hamsterraps-blog]

Rap 8: Babbling Baboon

Oof, ya boy da truth, when I'm up in the booth//

Catch me sippin' on Juicy Juice wrapped and swaddled in goose//

Down feathers, call me Carl Weathers, or maybe Winslow//

oh, what the fuck ever, just never "Jimbo"//

I'm like polynesian sauce from Chik-fil-a//

Because my body is orange and people dip chicken nuggets in me//

I'm so mean-hip while eatin' bean dip//

Seven layers player, goin' chip-crazy while listenin' to Slayer//

[hamsterraps-blog]

Rap 7: Some Light Reading

Sometimes I think about life and I wonder//

What’s a fucking plunger?//

My toilet’s been clogged for nine days and I’m under//

A mountain of shit, writing this rap in my bathroom//

Sometimes I like to pretend that I’m a pig in a snack room//

Oh, oh shit, here it comes again//

Another log-ish turd ‘bout to penetrate my rim//

I try to wipe my butt with a moist towellete//

But 99% of the time I just forget//

[hamsterraps-blog]

Rap 6: The Thickness

Slather me up//

I'm a slatherish fuck//

Rub a duck, duck, there's some fruit in my cup//

Yip, yip, hip hooray, I'm chewin' on cheese//

Tickle me, please//

Hey, I'm ticklish, geez//

Chewin' on a chicken bone I'm feelin' at home//

Sittin' on my throne made of old chicken bones//

Turd snake in a turd lake// 

Brown water, cold splash, a drop shot up my ass/

[hamsterraps-blog]

Rap 5: Hold me

I'm a tenderloin and I pulled my groin//

You can find me strokin' wood, good, stackin' my coin//

Oh yeah, a coin stacker//

An all-beef snacker//

Fiddlin' wit my meat like a butcher in a pasteur//

Ooh, ooh, you know he kill 'em//

Meatballs thrill him//

He's thrilled by dat meat like a pervert pilgrim//

Catch me  in a field--cock slathered in gravy//

Bust a nut in a Baconater, call her my lady//

*this song is dedicated to my lady

[hamsterraps-blog]

Rap 4: Pop Bottles

Jiggle buddy. I’m bubbly like Kid Cudi//

Cuddle snuggly. Under covers doin’ the Dougie//

I scream and shout//

You bitch and pout//

Was gonna get in a fight, but my dick popped out//

See me sceamin’ & strugglin’ while I pinch off a loaf//

Standin’ like a champion’, I just filled up the bowl//

THE KING.  

[hamsterraps-blog]

Rap 3: I'm supple

Dong long like licorice//

Dat’s my swizzle stick//

Swirlin’ and twirlin’ ya girl speakin’ gibberish//

Yes, I speak Yiddish//

 What’s the big ish?//

 Back off my sweet piglet//

Sweet meat? I jiggle it// 

Ugh. 

[hamsterraps-blog]

Rap 2: My crew the chicest

How could you not love me?// 

Nickname "Glovley"//

'Cause I got a glove that's so goddamn lovely//

Chew on my chubby bunny, with cheeks stuffed with Peeps//

Lather Downey on my sheets, then I lay in my sheets//

Don’t ‘cha just love how I lay on ma sheets?//

So soft and chic//

Tickle me pink//

No, you’re a fink// 

DON’T CALL ME NO FINK//

[hamsterraps-blog]

Rap 1: Journey to the center of Girth

Hit 'cha girl with my tube steak//

Make her boobs shake//

Make her feel that girthquake//

Drink my milkshake//

Then caress my elbow//

Make her smell toe//

Tickle me like Elmo//

What the hell bro?//