HERO of PANDORA

you may think you're the hero of this little adventure, but you're not. icons by handjobjack/damedonger

[silly-luv]

[handsomehero-blog]

ijs your jack is great. when he talks at all it's like "wow fuck you asshole" but in the same exact instant it's like "i need you to love me" which is how i imagine you're supposed to feel about jack so thank u for existing *sage nod*

( i love this ask and i love you thank you so much )

[handsomehero-blog]

✺ || NO-ONE ELSE DID IT SO-||

Send ✺for a saucy text

[TXT]: hey i'm makin you pasta because im nice and not because im high and made too much pasta[TXT]: do you want red or white sauce

[chaoticevilnecromancer]

new vault hunters

[handsomehero-blog]

♣ ☠ ((I don't even know anymore)

Send ♣ for a text not meant for you

[TXT]: But yeah, honestly, such a hot lady with such weird-looking spawn.[TXT]: You'd think balloon-tits would have a better gene-pool, with those looks.[TXT]: Oopsies! Wrong person. Sorry.[TXT]: (I'm not sorry at all.)

Send ☠ for a misguided advice text

[TXT]: Yeah-huh, look, kid. A good present for your mom is a framed picture of me.[TXT]: Specifically the signed one I just sent to you.[TXT]: Don't read it. It's for your mother. Get going.

[handsomehero-blog]

✆ (wants to bother Jack too)

Send ✆ for a morning text

[TXT]: Heyyy there, kiddo![TXT]: Just a wake-up call to let you know how CLOSE my drills are to the Vault.[TXT]: Feel Pandora quaking beneath your weird, three-fingered lump of a body?[TXT]: That's me! Winning![TXT]: Have a nice snooze, pumpkin.

[mrcontinuousnosebleed-deactivat]

Nn-nope.

[handsomehero-blog]

[wilhelmenforcer-deactivated2015]

"….." Makes a face. 

[handsomehero-blog]

"A man's got needs."

[handsomehero-blog]

√ ⁇ ♔ || I am here to spam with more memes. ||

Send √ for a long-winded confession text 

[TXT]: tbh i'd probably like you mmore if you didn't smell like cat piss[TXT]: or if ur eyes werent so ufkcing. wonky looking. stop that[TXT]: and if yyou didnt stare or scratch yourself so much[TXT]: im high as fuck so also: fuck you stop making so much noise

Send ⁇ for a worried text

[TXT]: You okay down there, kiddo? Haven't heard a peep from you all night.[TXT]: Normally you'd be wailing about seeing things.[TXT]: Have your withdrawals made you comatose, or something?[TXT]: Fuck it. I'm gonna check on you.

Send ♔ for an angry text

[TXT]: I know you were in my room.[TXT]: You'd better hope your teeth are well-set in those gums.[TXT]: Grit 'em tight.

[handsomehero-blog]

♔ ☏ ⁇ ✘ ☢

Send ♔ for an angry text

[TXT]: Okay. Look. I gave you everything you need.[TXT]: Guns, ammunition for said guns -- I even made you that tea.[TXT]: The kind you liked. I put somethin' special in it for you, too.[TXT]: Whatever. You'll know what it is later. Right now, you need to get those bandits.[TXT]: Quickly. As in, right now. Go. Right now.

Send ☏ for a vague text

[TXT]: hey how much blood can a person lose before they die[TXT]: asking for a friend

Send ⁇ for a worried text

[TXT]: Wilhelm. You okay there, buddy? You haven't hit me on the ECHO since you mentioned running-into that big-ass Shuggurath. [TXT]: You alright?[TXT]: Wil?[TXT]: ... Fuck.[TXT]: Please be okay.

Send ✘ for a text that should never have been sent

[TXT]: 'Suicide mission'? Pfft, NOOO, it's just a regular one.[TXT]: Just like old times! Remember then? That was fun.[TXT]: Drink that tea I made you and stop worrying about it.

Send ☢ for a desperate text

[TXT]: Alright, Wil, it's been an hour and fourty-five minutes. I counted.[TXT]: WHERE ARE YOU. Are you okay? Did you get hurt?[TXT]: Do you need an evac? We have enough power here for one I think[TXT]: Say SOMETHING. The fast travels aren't working. I can't get to you.[TXT]: Please. Are you alright? You're just busy, right? Just distracted?[TXT]: You're scaring the shit ou t of me stop i mcpanicking a ltitle.[TXT]: ffuck i swear t ogod if your'e not okay

[handsomehero-blog]

☠ or ☢

Send ☠ for a misguided advice text

[TXT]: Y'know, if you wanna impress someone,[TXT]: All you gotta do is kill a guy with your pinkies.[TXT]: Works wonders! Trust me. :)

[handsomehero-blog]

✘, √, ☢ ooc// Yaay :D

Send ✘ for a text that should never have been sent

[TXT]: Do you ever, like,[TXT]: wanna renounce your CEO status[TXT]: and just sleep in a cryostasis chamber[TXT]: LOL NVM JUST KIDDING friend took my phone lmfao sorry lol rofl

Send √ for a long-winded confession text

[TXT]: You make me feel weird for being me.[TXT]: Like, idk how you do it. But you do. You make me feel weird.[TXT]: Not like those weird gay 'butterflies in my guts.' Just. Strange[TXT]: I don't know what point I'm getting at. But I don't like it.[TXT]: Fuck. Nevermind. Let's start-over. Do you wanna get drinks tonight?

Send ☢ for a desperate text

[TXT]: ffucfck[TXT]: thiis i s it i think . it for me?? fhhuckfuck its harhd to see. sommuchblo od[TXT]: dotn open the vault. dont ddo it. jsuut. dont doit[TXT]: gggo ufckign. HUg your daughter. go tell he ryou lo ve her[TXT]: listne to your wife. listent o her. it was a bad idea. its a bad idea[TXT]: tell angel i love her

[handsomehero-blog]

♠

Send  ♠ for a drunk text

[TXT]: yknow. youlo ok like the geisha botss back on cOncordia[TXT]: lmfaof [TXT]: serrve me tea

[handsomehero-blog]

♠

Send  ♠ for a drunk text

[TXT]: hhghghffu[TXT]: your fac e is BULLShit[TXT]: get inhhere. get IN here so i Can PUNCH it[TXT]: adn kiss it iff it doesnt psis me off more

[wilhelmenforcer-deactivated2015]

handsomehero started following you

[wilhelmenforcer-deactivated2015]

"I got it covered." As covered as a quick bullet to the head. It wouldn’t be the first time he killed a child. Attaching the leg, Wilhelm tested it out. It worked just fine. Good. Picking his guns and both his drones, the cyborg made his way to the door, minding Jack. "I’ll call you once I have the AI."

[handsomehero-blog]

There was a half-reassured sigh from him at that response, and he clasped his hands tightly behind his back, turning his head only when he noticed footsteps towards the door. "Thank you," he sighed, brushing a hand through his hair worriedly, "Uh, be careful. Out there. I guess. Don't get killed."

[frommemetoyou]

send a symbol - get the following from my muse ;

[handsomehero-blog]

Send ✆ for a morning text

Send ♔ for an angry text

Send  ♠ for a drunk text

Send ☏ for a vague text

Send ⁇ for a worried text

Send ♣ for a text not meant for you

Send ✘ for a text that should never have been sent

Send ✺for a saucy text

Send √ for a long-winded confession text 

Send ☠ for a misguided advice text

Send ☢ for a desperate text

Send ☼ for a congratulatory text

[wilhelmenforcer-deactivated2015]

handsomehero started following you

[wilhelmenforcer-deactivated2015]

"Leg broke. And I got someone scanning that wastelands of canyon, also looking for AI." The cyborg added, skillfully fixing every error he found in the leg, like crossed or tangled wires, a few movement glitches…

The kind of things that, if they failed, would get him in a tight spot.

[handsomehero-blog]

".. 'Someone'? I mean, I don't wanna be a jerk or anything, bu--.. y'know what? No big deal. So long as you got it covered." He was impatient even still, chewing on the inside of his cheek nervously. The laser above Elpis loomed ominously. It wouldn't be long before that thing chewed through the moon and tore half of Pandora to shreds along with it.