H a n n a h . F o r t i ch

“At the end of the day, it isn’t where I came from. Maybe home is somewhere I’m going and never have been before.”

[hannahfortichh]

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom… — Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

[hannahfortichh]

We were having an argument in the car when suddenly...

Me: Do it, asshole. I dare you.

David: Boy, If only I could just do it to push your buttons... (Pause) but I can’t, cause I just love you too damn much.

And then I melt. <3

[hannahfortichh]

Brave

I knew something was wrong the moment she paused when I asked her the question. She let out a out a half baked smile, and told me she would tell me about it after Lunch.

We sat in the client lounge at 1:30 and I felt the weight on our shoulders.

“What’s stopping you from leaving?” I asked.

“So many things” she answered. “I can’t just leave, I owe it to them”.

She told me how bad she wants to move and work abroad. She told me that it’s the one thing she thinks about doing every day. 

It made me sad to see my friend feel obliged to stay longer just because she felt like she owed it to the company. And although I will always be grateful and proud to have worked in the same company who truly values their employees, I am also a firm believer that there are endless possibilities just waiting to be explored & there’s no better time than now - In our 20′s.

This is the time in our lives that we have the most energy and the lightest burdens. This is the time to flourish. This is the time to explore and pursue what we’re most passionate about.

“Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid, courage means you don’t let fear stop you.”

It’s sad how the thought of making a life changing decision can be so intimidating to us that instead of being the master of our own destiny, we end up settling for less, we end up seeking some sort of fixed life in which everything is clear to us because more often than not, we are so afraid of change - Uncertainty scares us. I guess it’s human nature and that’s a shame.

The conversation Katie and I had made me realize that I should snap out of my stupid depression.That being a pessimist won’t get me anywhere and that the fear of change will only make me live a life of “What could’ve been”.

And although I’ll always dread the day of having to part ways with my boyfriend, I will just have to keep my fingers crossed, and hope that God brings me back to my babe one day no matter how far life take us.

Here’s to sucking it all up & stepping out of our comfort zones - Here’s to being Brave. 

[artsnquotes]

I think I’m greedy, but I’m not greedy for money - I think that can be a burden - I’m greedy for an exciting life.

David Hockney (via wnq-art)

[hannahfortichh]

"I,” she says, “am always stuck. I am always stuck between giving people everything because I am dying to create meaningful relationships, and giving them nothing at all because then if they leave, at least I’ll be left whole.

[hannahfortichh]

It’s been a week now. A week of having to force myself to get my shit together. A week of faking my smile at work. It’s back. The feeling everyone dreads - that heavy feeling in your chest when it actually hurts to breathe, the constant need for validation, the not knowing what the fuck to do, the fear of the unknown.

In a few months, my best friend/the love of my life/the only man I have ever considered having a future with, will be leaving me to work abroad. And although I am grateful to have someone who is optimistic about this whole “Long Distance Relationship”, I fear that i might not be emotionally stable enough to be able to handle any of this - Just the mere thought itself makes me sob like a frikkin’ baby.

I am terrified beyond belief & I don’t think I have ever felt this way about any human being. I can’t help but wonder,

Haven’t I lost enough?