Reyâs story is so so important to me and the reason I will defend TROS Rey till the end is because even and especially in it we see her struggle, and that struggle is at its core a fundamentally human one. If Ben is the prodigal son, Rey is the inverse. He struggles against grace because he thinks he is too irretrievably bad to receive it, so he drives himself deeper; she struggles with receiving grace or love or anything because she canât bring herself to admit she needs it. And itâs not exactly prideful (although also in some ways it is), itâs just that, to admit you are in need, to see where you fall short, you have to be willing to be vulnerable. Admitting you need, being willing to receive, means being dependent on something, and that is scary when the world has taught you everything will eventually abandon you. Ben is the one with the outward debauchery, the dramatic sins, the Archetypal Prodigal, but Rey is the other facet of humanity, the one that struggles so much with receiving that they donât want to admit how much they need it at all, the portion of humanity that just says âno Iâm good.â
And thatâs such a human condition. Arenât we all afraid to admit that we need? Arenât we all afraid to let our guard down and accept and receive from others? We can take, sure, because thatâs controlling something, but to really submit to being loved or being given things? Isnât that something we all run from? We all say we want to be loved but when it comes down to it we find out love is terrifying because it means being known; to be loved we have to face ourselves first, we have to see what we are, see that we lack, see that we need because we are not sufficient ourselves. And all of that is an absolutely terrifying thing for us to face, because if we do face our need, and find there is nothing to fill it, we are left with a gaping void, a wound, that we will have to carry around forever. But we all are walking around with that wound regardless. Itâs just easier to refuse to see it.Â
And thatâs exactly what Rey does. Benâs wounds are out in the open, a broad scar splitting his face, but Rey has a wound just like his, and she covers it up. She pretends. Sheâs good. Sheâs ok. She doesnât need to be loved, she doesnât need grace, she is whole. Nothing lacking. But Ben threatens that illusion because he knows her, he knows she lacks, and Rey is terrified of seeing that. Sheâs terrified of her weaknesses because something in her fears thereâs no solution for them. Itâs lack of faith, itâs fear, and that drives her to the quick and easy solution of denial. And so she runs from Ben as fast as she can because heâs too close and that means sheâs too close to an uncomfortable truth. Sheâs got to hide, pretend like she doesnât know him, lash out and fight, because to  admit is to be vulnerable and Reyâs experience has taught her thereâs nothing to fill that wound.Â
And thatâs exactly what people do. Someone does something bad we label and cancel them and treat them as something inhuman. We would rather punish than rehabilitate because rehabilitation means they are human and being human means they are like us and we are like them and we have that same weakness, that same lack, that same need beneath whatever weâve used to cover it up. We tell ourselves no, we, unlike them, are not lacking. We are whole. We sit a queen and are no widow. And we run from being known and loved because to need something beyond yourself is vulnerable, and what if it goes away? What if thereâs nothing to give to us? What if we canât be loved or given grace?
And THATâS why I love Reyâs story and why it is so so important. It mirrors a human condition that, in our unwillingness to face, weâd usually not really portray, but this does, and in doing so it gives us hope. Because Rey comes to the very worst of herself, and Ben comes running anyways. He looks at her and sees her and loves her and smiles and nods that everythingâs going to be ok. As soon as Rey is ready to face her need, as soon as she is willing to receive, he is there to give. She was not beyond hope. She was not left in the dust when she admitted thatâs where she was. Someone was right there showing her she had been beloved all along.Â
And lucky for us, itâs just the same way for us. Itâs the hound of heaven. We run in terror but as soon as we turn we realize it was just Love we were running from all along, the very answer to our lack that we feared would not be there. But it was chasing us down all along.
