꽃에 핀 가시같이

— min hansung, xix, design. ❛ we're so late nights. red eyes, amnesia, on ice. late nights, red eyes, amnesia, i need ya. [...] run away now, like we're supposed to do. take you to the back now i'd take a shot for you. wasted every night, gone for every song, faded every night, dancing all night long.

[hanswng]

✉ imessage → my love

daehyun: i miss you fawning over me when i look pretty :(

daehyun: its just one of the many things i love about you :)

daehyun: he was but he was getting pretty drunk

daehyun: i can take care of myself though hansungie you don't have to worry about me

hansung: u look pretty all the time i don't know how i'm still alive tbh

hansung: getting drunk?? again? shit

hansung: i know u can, baby. but i can't worry about my boyfriend?

hansung: plus look how beautiful u were. of course u got some eyes over u there

[hanswng]

✉ imessage → my love

daehyun: i miss you moooooooore

daehyun: there was a ball

daehyun: i did go

daehyun: still boring :(

daehyun: [picture]

daehyun: i took a cute selca for you tho

hansung: whoa .. easy there

hansung: that's not because i'm in a hospital that it means u can give me a heart attack

hansung: look handsome as always baby

hansung: i hope baek was there to take care of u or i'll murder him

[hanswng]

✉ imessage → ALL CONTACTS

daehyun: MY BABY

daehyun: i miss you so much come home soon :((((((

daehyun: it was boring

daehyun: i just.. i really miss you a lot

hansung: hi love :)

hansung: i miss u too. and i wish i could, i really wish

hansung: c'mon !! i heard about a ball. did u go?

[hanswng]

✉ imessage → ALL CONTACTS

hansung: whoa

hansung: i just found out that a hospital is unable to have a vending machine that really work

hansung: guess i'm going to starve

hansung: how's ur night?

[fykook]

[hanswng]

bavkhyun.

baekhyun let his head hang low, unable to meet the gaze of his best friend while his mind tried to wrap around the events of tonight. it was still so unreal to him and he couldn’t believe that he, of all people, was a dad. “i don’t know what i’m doing,” he mumbled again, voice slightly slurred from the alcohol he’d consumed. god, he wanted more alcohol, he wanted to get so drunk that this conversation wasn’t making sense and that every shitty thing would seem like a dream to him. and then there was a part of him that wanted to push out of hansung’s grip and go straight into his bedroom where he’d pour out his heart in one of his notebooks since speaking was just too difficult for him. he pushed his mop of brown hair out of his face, looking up at his younger best friend who had decided to tell him everything that he’d done when they first met. it was true though, baekhyun had ignored hansung’s angry tendencies and ignored how he could be hit at any moment just so he could care for him and show him that someone loved him. “yeah,” he sniffed, turning his gaze away once more otherwise the tears would end up falling harder and quicker. “you’re not a baby though, i don’t have to feed or change your diaper or buy you toys or keep an eye on you all of the time. maybe she was right, maybe i do need to read a parenting book or something like that. fuck all of this, honestly.”

thinking well about the whole situation, hansung just wanted to be able to push any button that would make them come back a few months ago when none of that was happening. when he wouldn't be watching his best friend in the most miserable way that had ever seen him since they put themselves together and don't get away of each other for any other day. these last few months had probably been the most agitated of his life lately, first because he had found the love of his life --- and as much as the thought was painful, he would give it all up just to see his best friend smiling the way he had always did it again. fuck her. he cursed to himself, because maybe it wasn't a good time to touch in the girl's name more than he should. of the girl who had baekhyun's son. fuck. “ well, once in a while you have to keep an eye on me, ” he tried to ease the tension in the space between them, but he doubted it would happen so soon. “ ah, fuck it, hyung, ” he let the touch on the other go, sitting down beside him and bringing the bottle of alcohol he'd pulled away to close. hansung opened it and took a sip of the liquid, feeling the same burn all the way down his throat. “ you want to sit here and complain about something that isn't going to change? let's do it... but i'll push you out that door if necessary, ” he offered the bottle to baek, it was more of a test than anything else. “ fine. don't believe your best friend. i'll be here later to kick your ass and say 'i told you so' anyway ”

[hanswng]

jungxdaehyun.

Daehyun sighs, reaching up to cup his boyfriend’s cheek, forcing the younger to look at him. “Hansung. I don’t care about anyone but you, okay? I didn’t realize that Jinki was flirting with me, but I’ll tell him to stop or I’ll kick him off my team.” HE doesn’t want Hansung to pull away from him, scared that this will come between them. “No one can take care of me better than you can. baby. You’re literally perfect for me, and I’m perfect for you. No one else matters to me except for you. P,ease don’t be angry. I would never flirt with someone that wasn’t you.” His voice is soft, brown eyes looking at his boyfriend with a fondness, hoping that Hansung will believe him and calm down. He doesn’t want to see Hansung angry, especially not at him.

“ yeah, whatever, ” he didn't want to, but he still backed away from the other's touch on his face. this wasn't right at all, they weren't in the right place to have a discussion. but it was hansung and daehyun we are talking about, the pair usually get lost in their own world very easily as if there was no one around. “ the thought of someone flirting with you, even if you don't realize it or didn't like it, just the thought that someone is looking at you like that knowing that i'm there... it kills me, you know, because i'm not--- i'm not enough, ” he just spit out, trying to make some sense in his thoughts that were there for longer than they should, but they just didn't fit well together. “ you can say whatever you want to me, i don't care. it doesn't matter . i know myself and i know i'll not change. and i know i promised you i would try and... ” hansung had his eyes closed for a moment. he knew it. he knew that if the words simply didn't escape out of his lips at that moment, he would never be able to do it again. “ everybody always teaches to us that you can not love someone else if you don't love yourself first. what a fucking lie! i don't love any part of me taking away the fact that i love you more than anything else in this world, ” his head bowed as he spoke, his eyes burning as if he were going to cry, but hansung wouldn't cry. not now. he wasn't going to cry when he was so angry at himself. “ i can't think of losing you, not when... i love you so much that it hurts and heals me at the same time. ”

[hanswng]

[hanswng]

bbyminnie.

      ‘ well it didn’t exactly kill me the first time either now did it. what makes you think it will the second time? ’  minnie said without much thought , lifting up her shirt that briefly showed some of the few SCARS that covered her body.  ‘ how do you not know…that in one of these fucking fights , ’  her voice sounding broken , raw  ‘ that the person you’re fighting won’t stop…that they won’t stop at a broken nose and they keep going until you can no longer breathe. am i supposed to fix a broken nose on a fucking CORPSE ?!?!?! ’  the older girl , not holding back as he appeared to be doing , but letting the  f o r c e  leave her throat to fill the apartment.  ‘ it’s not going to fix your past , hansung. it won’t bring him back!! ’

‘ stop it! ’ as soon as he sees her lifting the fabric of her shirt, hansung is going to pull it down, covering her again. he didn't need to see the marks his best friend carried --- just knowing that they were there was something torturing for him. the moment he heard her again, he was backing off. the younger's head was shaking promptly and it would definitely be better if he had gone straight to his apartment. ‘ how do you know?! ’ now he was kind of yelling back to the older. ‘ i feel him every time i take a punch. maybe if i... it doesn't make any difference! fuck, minae --- i just wanted you to fix my fucking nose. ’

[hanswng]

idkjinri.

jinri was loving every moment with what was going on. she never seen hansung so loose and dare she say it, having the time of his life. the brunette was so accustomed viewing hansung as the reliable younger brother type that never followed in jinri’s mistake with getting drunk at every party. a part of her worried over hansung, but his loud and bright laughter only caused jinri to smile right back. “you’re drunk my adorable dongsaeng.” raising her hand to ruffle through hansung’s hair, she giggles at hansung’s cuteness. “okay, but if you send me a drunk text at three in the morning i promise i’ll be there to help you out.” she lightly grabbed onto the hansung’s finger and wiggled it in her grasp. “i’m changing nothing, only being the noona that i should be.” she continues to ruffles his hair and evens pokes his cheek one more time for good measure.

when he was almost certain he was seeing two jinri right there in front of him, hansung wasn't so sure anymore if he should start a discussion with the other about whether or not he was so drunk. maybe he was and maybe he didn't regret any of it. “ you can help me get home without me going to disturb my boyfriend for that. i don't think he knows Ii'm here, and being drunk doesn't help in anything, ” he made the sign of silence with one of his fingers then. he didn't know what daehyun would think about a situation like that, but it was supposed to be too late to start worrying about it anyway. “ so since you decided to start playing a real noona role, we should do some shots to celebrate that glory! ” his smile was big enough to hurt the boy's jaw, but it wasn't like he cared about anything at that moment. “ let's do some tequila shots because they're fucking nuts! ”

[hanswng]

bavkhyun.

“no,” he said quickly, hating himself for coming to gaeun’sdefense so quickly. after she had wronged him he knew that he should only disrespect her or speak badly of her but he just couldn’t. and although he knew hansung’s anger was justified in this sense, he wouldn’t allow the younger to get angry over something so unnecessary. “she said i could see him whenever i want to and iwon’t let her keep my son away from me.” his stomach twisted at the word - son - but he pushed the feeling down. “idon’t know how to be a good dad, i don’t even know the first step to being a parent!” oh, what would his own parents think when he told them? he hadn’t spoken to his parents in a long time but he couldn’t keep running from them forever. could he? “i’m not ready to have a child, why didn’t she tell me? she says that her parents wanted us to get fucking married because we had a kid together and she wanted me to be happy.” his long leg kicked out at the wall in front of him. “does it look like i’m fucking happy? she could’ve told me, i could’ve prepared myself for the birth of my son! and now i’ve missed months of his life.”

even though he knew every corner of baekhyun's soul that was probably the first time he couldn't guess what was going through the other's head in all that time of friendship they shared. and if hansung was to be honest he hated it more than anything else. “ fuck that, you're going to be a great dad, ” better than mine and better than yours, he completed within his own mind. somewhere he could bet baek already knew that anyway. “ you're already being a great dad. look at you worried that you've lost months of his life, hyung! that's already something, ” not in a million years, probably never, hansung would have the ability to command his words to the right way. he had never been one to speak, and generally all he knew do was curse between his words on his own mind. he wasn't good at talking about his feelings and much less comforting someone else. but that was baekhyun; so any bullshit fit there. “ do you know why i know you're going to be a fucking great dad? " his hand moved up to the other's shoulder, squeezing the place a little to make him pay attention at himself. “ because you took such good care of me from the first moment. you never cared if i was a troubled kid who couldn't handle his own anger. you were there for me for anything and i never even needed to ask for it. this little guy is going to be the luckiest guy in the whole world to have you as a dad, baek. because you're going to love him, you're going to care about him and he'll know that whenever he needs a friend, you're always going to be there for him. ”

[hanswng]

bbyminnie.

        ‘ no , fuck you hasung !! fuck you for thinking this is EASY for me !! ’  the girl pointing a single finger at him , minnie keeping herself from walking up to him and poking his chest roughly.  ‘ oh , so because i know your past i can no longer worry about you? fine , hansung. go out and fight everybody. get fucking DESTROYED and hurt and bruised and i’ll just keep putting on a smile for you , because heaven knows your past excuses it all. how about me hansung? want me to get in my car and drive at the nearest brick wall at ninety miles per hour ??? will you excuse that because of my past? it’s not just a bone !! it’s your body. it’s you !! ’  

“ it's not the same thing, ” he said with a completely sarcastic, humorless laugh, burying his words, he didn't believe she was going down that road. “ it's not the same thing and you fucking know it, none of this is going to kill me, and we're both slightly different from each other. i'm sorry if i need to get into a fight for every little thing because there's something in my past that won't go away. won't let me rest in peace if i haven't been beaten the hell out of me at least once a week! ” hansung wasn't shouting because he wasn't someone to shout. but his fists were tight that he could feel his knots going white. “ hell no! it's not me! it's just a fucking body! me--- i can not be any more hurt than what i already am. it's just a fucking bone. ”

[hanswng]

jungxdaehyun.

Daehyun’s brow furrows at the way Hansung is acting, lips pursed. He’s completely confused at this point, sweater paws (he’s wearing hansung’s jacket of course) rubbing at his eyes, devoid of makeup because it’s a dance day. He doesn’t bother wasting makeup he’s just gonna sweat off. He frowns, noticing that Hansung refuses to look at him. He stops suddenly, and pulls Hansung to s stop, looking up at the younger boy. “Flirting? who was flirting with me?” He shakes his head slightly. “Why are you being like this? You’re not even LOOKING at me. Tell me what you’re talking about Hansung.” He’s never really been stern with his boyfriend, but he can’t help it with the way Hansung is acting about something that he has no clue what he’s saying.

even when daehyun pulled him to stop walking, even here he couldn't face the older male, too embarrassed by his own reaction to do anything about it. but something about him didn't even realizing that the other guy was flirting with him only made hansung's blood heat up over that whole situation. “ what, didn't you realize that? ” suddenly he was looking at his boyfriend in a very different way than he used to do, taking a step away from him because the younger knew that for anyone to be near him when he was having a fit of anger wasn't advisable. “ this guy... i don't even remember his name anymore, but it's not like i really care. he was almost attacking you! ” besides being ridiculous, hansung was being hella unfair because it was clear that the eldest hadn't realized what was happening there before and it wasn't as if he was flirting back. he wasn't one to blame --- but obviously the stubborn head of hansung wouldn't understand that. “ he literally told me to take care of you or someone else would do it better. i bet that someone is him! ”

[hanswng]

ofnayeons.

“a favor?” nayeon repeated, unwrapping her arms from his waist so she was now standing in front of him with a small frown on her face. the frown quickly disappeared into a look of surprise. “you’re getting a tattoo? what are you going to get a tattoo of? and yeah, hansung. sure i can come with you to get a tattoo.” she punched his shoulder softly. “you don’t even need to ask me since i’d go to the ends of the earth for you. you can literally just say nayeon we’re leaving and i’ll go wherever you want.” her loyalty for hansung was strong, no matter what the situation she was always going to be there for him. “so, what’s made you want to get a tattoo? are you and daehyun getting matching couple tattoos or?”

he only nodded a few times as he listened to the girl's questions. he could say the same thing about her, nayeon was one of those friendships that had managed to pull him out of the cocoon that he had made around himself, and he owed so much to her. no --- owe was a word that did not fit into a friendship like theirs, because everything they did for each other, they did with all their heart in that. “ hm--- just a silly little thing, ” he shrugged briefly before moving his arm through hers so they could start walking toward where the tattoo studio was. “ it's not that far from here, a friend recommended me this place and it looks very good and... no? dae-hyung doesn't know i'm doing this, to be honest, ” he said frowning a little bit. should he have consulted his boyfriend before making such a decision? he had the suspicion that daehyun had nothing against the ink anyway, since he also had that in his body as well. “ do you have any? ”

[hanswng]

bbyminnie.

      ‘ and i do !! sorry i’m a little upset that the only time you come over to my place anymore is when you need someone to fix you up. ’  her chipped nails motioning to his fucked up nose , her own nose flaring with frustration. minnie was always one for theatrics , throwing the ice MAYBE going overboard but minnie not comprehending that nor exactly caring.  ‘ you almost always have your nose broken !! what makes now any different? me fixing you up ONCE AGAIN won’t stop you from going back in another few days. i hate seeing you like this ! i have seeing you get hurt and not giving a fuck about it !!! ’

“ the only... oh, fuck you, minae, ” well, that was new. he remembered arguing with the girl a few times, because their personalities were too similar to save from any argument, but now it was quite different. “ you should know better. you among all people should know better than this! ” he exclaimed with anger, which wasn't good. hansung knew deep down that the only reason minae was his first choice when things like that happened was because she knew him --- more than anyone else there, she knew him for real; or at least he thought she did. “ i don't fucking care! i'm not hurt... it's just a fucking bone. ”

[hanswng]

bbyminnie.

    was he angry at her ?? did he really want to start an argument with her ?? minnie didn’t want to argue , but it was so programmed in her brain that she just had to. she was flabbergasted , not believing what she was seeing and hearing.  ‘ what friends were for? ’  and her foot pushed against the freezer door , making it close shut with a loud BANG.   ‘ so what? do you label me  “ the friend who fixes my face every time i get the shit kicked out of me?”   is that all i mean to you? do you not fucking get what it does to me to see you like this?? all the GODDAMN time?? fix you’re own fucking face , hansung. ’  minnie tossed the bag she filled with ice onto the floor , watching as the frozen cubes went everywhere. 

the moment he heard the bang from the freezer door he knew things there aren't going to be any easy than the place he just left behind. “ no! i label you as the friend who helps me anytime i need. even if it's to get the bloodshot out of my fucking nose, ” all that hansung did about the ice that fell on the floor was to take a step back, watching as it go in all directions when he could taste the blood in his mouth again, since he had stopped pressing the fabric of his hoodie in the bruised place. “ what the fucking hell, minae! why are you yelling when i'm the one who almost had the nose broken? fuck. ”

[hanswng]

ofnayeons.

nayeon had spent the majority of the day over at the gym where she’d spent some time on all of the equipment and then treated herself to a cool swim in the swimming pool to relieve herself of that unfit feeling. she’d then spent the rest of her time in the apartment, not really paying attention to what was playing on television but enjoying the quite nonetheless. it was only when she received a text from hansung that she found her day becoming busier than planned. sending him a quick text back in confirmation, the brunette scrambled off of the couch and made sure to take everything she might need before heading out. it didn’t take her long to find him, a bright smile forming on her face when her eyes set on his handsome features. sneaking up behind him, she wrapped her arms around the other and kissed his cheek. “what’s up?”

a smile easily found his way to hansung's lip when he had the vision of nayeon, her soft kiss only causing this to grow a little longer, but again he had begun to feel the anxiety taking his veins once again. “ hm, i kinda need a favor, ” the thought put him biting his lower lip, he was still not sure what he was going to do for real, but he was really tired of thinking about it overand over. “ i have an appointment to get a tattoo, but i have the impression that i'm going to give up on time, since i'm the master at giving up, ” he shrugged. “ can you come with me and stop me from doing something stupid? like running out of there the moment the tattoo artist starts sketching it, for example, ” this was something he was accustomed to, unfortunately having already been through the same situation and embarassed himself many times before.