Happy Birthday! I feel so grateful that I am able to spend this day with you, surrounded by our family. As I write this note, from the crowded Decathlon Shop in Jiangyin on my way home, I am almost brought to tears as I reflect upon how much I love you. I will admit that I am using your birthday card as a quasi-pretext. In this note, I want to express to you what you mean to me. And, trust me, you mean so much. It occurs to me that I may have neglected to communicate this to you over the years.
Throughout my life, you have been (and continue to be) a source of support and love. Quite honestly, you are one of the few people whom I think about nearly every day. You are a special man, Taotao; strong, genuine, fiercely independent, incredibly aware, smart, and stylish. You are the skilled ringmaster of the circus. You make sure that everything runs smoothly, you delegate, you cure the sick, you assemble exquisite flower arrangements, and so, so much more. Above all, you create places that people are drawn to and you make an immense effort towards those you love. I do not know many families that are able to spend as much time together as ours, and that is a testament to you, Taotao. You treat everyone who enters your home like they are special, be they old friends, family members, or new comers. You take care of those who work for you as if they are family, and please know that this is such a telling characteristic of yours. You model to me how to treat people you work with unconditional respect, care, and genuine warmth.
You have taught me the value of quality over quantity as it relates to relationships, possessions, and moments spent with others. Taotao, you’ve taught me the importance of a keeping a neat home and how a clean kitchen, a puffed couch cushion, and a properly made bed embody respect, pride and an appreciation for what you have. You set standards for people to meet, which is so incredibly important. When I am with you, I seek to impress you. I remember, as a ten-year-old, waking up at 6 AM to excitedly make my bed for you to inspect. I pulled each sheet taut and made sure that there were no wrinkles; I diligently fluffed each cushion. And, I took pride in my work. You taught me that even though we had lovely people who would make our beds for us if we left them a mess, it was our job to take responsibility for our belongings and care for them; this was a matter of respect. To this day, I make my bed each morning, and fluff the cushions on my apartment’s arm chair each night before I tuck in to bed. When I do this, I think of you.
I have such fond memories of the time we’ve spent together. I think of our sleepovers and how your bed, with its crisp sheets, downy duvet, plush pillows, and Chinese lavender sachets embraced me like you always have. I appreciate how genuine you are Taotao. I cherish our conversations. For this reason, I feel so lucky when you sit down next to me at the Clambake Club for dinner. It is so cool that you sit yourself at the “kids table,” with us. You are a great story teller and conversationalist. And I appreciate our shared love of vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce (or should I say, an ocean of chocolate sauce with a small scoop of vanilla ice cream). I love when you tell me about your life, stories about your childhood, about your first kiss, about friendships, about grandfather Ferris, about Mom. I love our chats, yet, I also love the moments we spend together where we don’t talk; sitting on the sun porch reading, watching television, cutting flowers in the garden. I feel so grateful that I am able to be at peace when I am with you.
Taotao, you have loved me through thick and thin. Even when I was arguably the least lovable and most obnoxious, you accepted me. You would brave clothes shopping with me, embarking upon this sort of Mission Impossible even when all I wanted to wear was flannel, “man-shirts,” ratty old sneakers, and jeans from Decathlon. On these birthday shopping trips, you let me choose the clothes that I felt the most confident in, whatever they may be. You never forced me to buy something I didn’t love, reminding me, “if you don’t like it in the store, you sure won’t like it at home.” Over the years, you taught me the value of style, individuality and calculated self-expression through clothing. I find so much joy in dressing myself and choosing clothes that make me feel confident and beautiful. You were the one who showed me, through example, how one does this.
As I grow older, and anticipate decorating my own place, I find myself looking to you for inspiration. The way you have decorated your home is both bold and elegant. The patterns and colors, that you chose, harmonize in such beautiful ways. Your instincts, when it comes to style, are second to none. The flowers you cut and arrange around the house speak to this special, artistic gift.
I love you, even though society still doesn’t allow us to express our love publicly.
Happy Birthday, my dearest Taotao!
kaledo-art
prguitarman
romaincrisis
jbbartram-illu
ellievsbear
blakekathryn
janainaart