You know that feeling when you think youâve found the right person but youâre completely wrong for more times than one?Â
That feeling cannot be explained in words. When youâre sitting at home, crying to yourself, physically feeling the pain that the one you love caused you...
I know that Iâd never do that to him, he probably knows it too. And God, he promised so many things. So why didnât he fulfil them? Why didnât he hesitate to hurt me?Â
And so I question myself, over and over again. I think about everything that Iâve done wrong for him and I to be separated. Every moment, I think of every single thing that couldâve changed my current reality because now, I miss him and itâs tearing me apart.Â
I cannot focus on anything but him. Memories come flooding back, the happiness, the love that we shared. I think of him all day, all night, I fall asleep with tears streaming down my cheeks...but the only words I get from him is a âsorryâ, or maybe even less. Like an apology actually compensates for the hurt he inflicted.Â
He probably doesnât even want to see me, asks me how I am if Iâm lucky... but there isnât much luck in that either, since the only thoughts running through my head is âcome backâ and âwhy are you so concerned now?â. But I canât say that...not because I donât want to, but because Iâm scared that he wonât bother checking on me again, and I savour that only text from him, knowing that he has already left.Â
And of course, the desperation starts to kick in, but I wouldnât want him to know that. Because it would show him that I care, and Iâd be a fool to...but I do.
So I cry for months...until one day, I decide that itâs time to move on. Heâll never care as much as I did but I still have the good memories. I need to pick myself up and find my self worth.Â
Because through all this, Iâve learnt the most important lesson from life...to love and to let go.Â
So I encourage everyone reading this that has been or is currently going through what I have been through, to comment, relate and most definitely find your self worth. Because thereâs nothing better than self love xx â€ïž
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