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@happychica
Remember who you are.
no but i'm still thinking about how much boromir would fucking LOVE the shire
it is beautiful rolling hills just stuffed to the GILLS with hobbits
including BABY HOBBITS
HOBBITS BUT SOMEHOW IMPOSSIBLY EVEN SMALLER
and yeah the adults might be fairly wary, but we see in the first movie that the kids come running immediately to see gandalf in hopes of seeing something magic
and now??? here is LARGE PERSON??? who can play swords and toSS THEM REAL HIGH UP IN THE AIR AND CATCH THEM???
boromir deserved to retire as the grandpa of endless waves of hobbits, and i will cry forever that he never got to live his destiny
weeping on the floor about
the idea of a hobbit mama scolding her faunts not to get too rough with "nice mr. boromir" as this man is exactly where he wants to be being dogpiled by giggly bb hobbits who absolutely "defeated" him in "combat"
warrior hands that have seen so much violence SO gently holding a TEENY TINY baby hobbit he was handed to let a papa hobbit track down his wayward toddler
(boromir fighting back tears because THEY COME THIS SMALL??? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???? THE BABY FITS IN ONE OF HIS HANDS???) (baby yawns and snuggles their lil cheek against his thumb and this man is nearly brought to his knees)
Official Manager Of Lifting Big Things
boromir accidentally joining a hobbit stitch and bitch club because someone's gammer asked him to carry her yarn for her to the meeting and he didn't know how to leave after he was greeted and handed food and tea
the club is actually fun, and the hobbit grannies respond to his tales of politics and battle with the same sympathetic clucking that they do to rivals stealing recipes, including his hand being patted sympathetically
boromir gets his own special big cup that moves from house to house for meetings so he can get an acceptable amount of tea for gossip time
The three stages of shipping.
Stage 1: NOW KISS
Stage 2: NOW FUCK
Stage 3: NOW BREAK EACH OTHER’S HEARTS AND THEN MEND THEM SLOWLY WHILE TOUCHING EACH OTHER WITH REVERENT, TREMBLING HANDS
where was morena dekarios during gale's year of isolation?
how many nights did she spend, stomach churning, wondering why her son stopped coming to visit?
did they write? did gale offer vague platitudes to her whilst dodging every attempt for her to come visit, to just see his face?
how many times did gale and tara argue about it? how many times did gale and tara fall out because gale couldnt tell his mother that he was going to die?
gale, waterdhavian prodigy, former lover of mystra, was probably such a massive taboo to even broach as a topic. how many wizard's robes did morena dekarios clutch in supplication, begging anyone to tell her what happened to her son? how many times did they turn her away?
and when she finds out why. when she finds out what happened to her son. who tries to stop morena dekarios from killing a goddess?
where was morena dekarios?
My personal BG3 body headcanons
Lae’Zel: Flat chested, bottom heavy. She doesn’t need fucking boobs. “But what if they’re for sex purposes-“ shut up she doesn’t need boobs.
Shadowheart: Diamond shaped
Gale: Fat. “But what if he works out in his tower meh meh meh” shut up. What he does in his tower is read, feed and plays with his cat, cook a new recipe and and then realizes he has no one to share the family sized meal he made and eats it
Astarion: Skinny as a twig until you let him start drinking the blood of enemies every fight, then he plumps up just a little. It’s noticeable but it’s just a slight layer of pudge, nothing too drastic, you just can’t see his ribs anymore now that he’s freely gorging himself
Wyll: Doesn’t look like much until you see him take off his clothes. Total gunshow. Not big like Halsin but not small either. Can pick you up with one arm though. Also has a very grabable waist and the nicest butt in Baldur’s Gate.
Halsin: He’s fatjacked. Very muscular but still has a prominent belly. Like he can rip a tree stump out of the ground and his arms are huge and his pecs are toned yet still soft but you can still tell he loves his meals. His butt gives Wyll’s a run for its money.
Karlach: Absolutely jacked. Can rip a tree stump out with one arm, while carrying you in the other. Like that big bitch from Love Lies Bleeding
More creepy and unsettling, creature Astarion please.
I beg of thee. Vampires are meant to be an uncanny valley type of thing. An undead creature of the night that passes itself as just the right amount of living and mortal for you to let your guard down. I need more examples of his vampiric nature showing once he's grown comfortable enough, and I need it now.
~
An Astarion who is so silent in his movements that you often got jump scared by it in the earlier stages of your relationship.
You'd be lounging around on the sofa. Reading a book, lost in thought, all serene and cozy beneath a nice knitted blanket-- just having an all around nice, relaxing time when you see movement out of the corner of your eye. You glance up for just a moment, to the space before you that was previously unoccupied, and his entire face is suddenly hovering right in front of you.
Just waiting. Not moving. Pupils blown so huge that there's barely any color left to his eyes. Fangs are peeking out over the bruise-purple skin of his bottom lip. He's pallid. White as a corpse. Definitely in need of a good feeding.
His intentions were entirely innocent. He really only meant to ask you a question, and here you are being all dramatic and jumping several feet into the air and throwing your book off to the side in a panic. Thankfully, you're able to catch yourself before you full on shriek in his face.
(You love him and his ghoulishly handsome face, you really and truly do, but you sincerely thought for a moment that he was a spectre come to take you to the afterlife.)
~
Astarion, who routinely forgets to breathe. Yanno, like it's nothing.
You're well aware of the fact that vampires don't need to breathe. It's more of a force of habit than anything else, really-- something left over from when he was still mortal, he says.
Although, during bouts of intense emotion, or some sort of uh, stimulation, the focus on something so trivial gets put on the backburner for a bit.
The two of you will be sharing a particularly passionate kiss (or worse) when you feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest stop short. It's like all of the air has gotten caught in his lungs, and he ends up making these creaky grudge-like sounds in place of his usual low moaning. A clicking in the back of his throat in place of a sigh. If you play your cards just right, there might even be a rattling from deep within his chest that almost sounds like a purr.
When he finally does breathe, usually due to a well executed nip to his bottom lip, or the gentle brush of your fingers against one of his ears as you play with his hair, it comes out as an animalistic hiss. A sharp, choking gasp that sends goosebumps down the length of your arms.
~
How you catch him watching you sleep.
How you'll wake up in the pitch black of your bedroom in a cold sweat. Your hair is stood on end, a fearful shudder threatening to rattle your frame. A spike in your pulse that has your sleep addled brain doing somersaults in your skull. All of your instinctual alarm bells go off at once, telling you that something must be terribly wrong. Something must be watching you.
You try to blink away the bleariness-- try to shake off the fog of sleep for long enough to get your bearings, and catch a glint in the dark so ominous that for a moment you're scared stock still.
Something is watching you. Someone, rather.
Astarion's eyes gleam back at you in the dark like a wild animal's might. A bobcat, maybe, like the ones you'd often find stalking pray outside the tree line of camp all those nights ago. Pupils that glow a filmy, holographic orange despite there being no light to reflect off of them.
You don't notice until after you've taken a second to calm yourself that he's hovering over you. The bed just barely dips from his weight as he supports himself, and you'd be baffled by it all if you had any braincells left.
"Go back to sleep, darling." His voice is so soft, even over the pounding against your eardrums. Soothing. Tranquilizing. And though your eyes do begin to feel heavy, you're not exactly in the mood for rest anymore.
Especially not when he's pressing cold, feather-light kisses down the length of your throat not a moment later.
~
Please, I beg. Give me more.
Sometimes Magister Dorian Pavus also needs a break from his duties, during which he thinks about those who mean the most to him
Last month's drawings that I didn't get to finish until recently. Most are redraws that I wanted to do (maybe you'll recognize them lol)
I hate having banger fanfic ideas. What do you expect me to do? Write them down????????????
astarion you're breaking my heart man
I need someone to do a video essay-length deep dive into how 75% of the BG3 fandom fell so hard for Astarion's manipulative seductor act that they believe that's his actual personality. This man has to practice his lines and still fumbles them constantly. He flat-out says it's all a front because he believes his sex appeal is the only reason anyone would keep him around, which is tragic. When he drops the act, he becomes this kind of silly man rediscovering what it means to be himself, and what it means to both love and be loved. He says "I'm all pointy ears, love." while turning his head to show off those pointy ears. Let him be silly, let him be awkward! It's so much more authentic then him being a walking innuendo.
He has a mid charisma stat with a bonus for deception and rolled a nat 20 on all y'all.
I forgot I made a couple of mini vine compilations when they announced the end of vine
i don’t know how vine so perfectly encapsulated the best of humanity but that was a weird time
It was a better time
"oh sorry, i guess i was infodumping again" - sad, shy, apologetic
"you sly dog, you got me monologuing" - cool, strong, confident
This could save your life.
BOOST.
Absolutely vital information to have if you live where the waters freeze over.
I especially appreciate this guy's commitment to actually showing the steps himself. That cold-shock response is a bitch and willingly subjecting himself to it couldn't have been fun.
I don’t live anywhere near water like this, but I am still memorizing this knowledge because:
* I might use it in a story someday.
* Any knowledge that staves off the dying is good knowledge.
Author Applications for “Scholarly Pursuits” are Now Open!
Duck Prints Press is overjoyed to announce that now, July 15 2024, through July 27th, author applications are now open for our 11th anthology, Scholarly Pursuits: A Queer Anthology of Cozy Academia Stories!
Are you a fanfiction author? Have you been wanting to break into publishing your original fiction?
If the answer to both these questions is “yes,” then this may be the perfect opportunity for you! Duck Prints Press (the spiffy indie press founded by fandom author unforth to publish the original work of fancreators) is looking for up to 20 authors – ten who’ve worked with us before, ten who never have – to write all-new, original stories, 2,500 to 5,000 words long, for a minimum pay of $50 per story! What will these stories be about? In short, cozy academia. In slightly-less-short, we want to read your pitches for stories about queer people pursuing knowledge and the places where they are pursuing that knowledge, all with a fluffy, cozy academia. Think “the opposite of dark academia.” What exactly that means, well, we’re open to your imaginative interpretations!
Every pitch must include:
Setting: Academia
People: Queer folks
Genre: Speculative fiction
Relationships: Any or none
Happy ending required!
Curious how to apply? If you are over the age of 18 and have posted at least 3 completed fanfiction works totaling a minimum of 10,000 words, then you are qualified to apply, and you should follow these links to learn all the deets – how to apply, what to submit, how long pitches should be, and more!
Rules and Guidelines
FAQ
Schedule
The application period ends when the last timezone in the world hits 11:59 p.m. on July 27th, so make sure to get your applications in before then.
READY TO APPLY? Authors who’ve never worked with us before, use this form!
Are you a returning author – one who has written with us before? Use this form!
Feel free to drop us an e-mail at [email protected], send an ask to our Tumblr inbox, or join our public Discord and drop a question in our mod shout chat.
We don’t talk about this scene enough. You can so clearly see Carlos trying so hard to act nonchalant, like -
“Oh, hi, I see I am all of a sudden standing next to you and totally haven’t been working up the nerve to come talk to you for the last 20 mins while staring at the back of your head….you wanna dance?”
-and TK absolutely oblivious that his everything is standing right next to him.
(via meanboysclub)
The last one
Also good on these people for taking the aggressively petty route instead of falsely registering their pets as service animals
I love how everyone intentionally interpreted this not as “your dog must be small” but “your dog must be in a bag”
“aww cute!! big doggies in ba-”
*cry-laughing as i hit the reblog button*
I’m going to point out that this sounds like the system working as intended bc if your dog is actually currently in a bag its not going to like, run off and bother other passengers or piss/shit where is not supposed to.
Like, yep. This works. If your dog’s well behaved enough to stay in a bag, THAT’s when it’s allowed on the subway.
That last comment was my EXACT thought.
This is actually one of the most effective kinds of laws, because it tricks people into complying with the spirit of the law by making them think theyre rebelling against the letter of the law.