Date someone who makes you do Aziz Ansari’s excited face
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Date someone who makes you do Aziz Ansari’s excited face
hey guys, hope your skin is clear and you get a text from someone you like real soon.
also that your lunch tastes good, you find twenty dollars on the ground, and that thing coming up that you were dreading turns out not so bad
Passing this good karma
I reblogged this 3 days ago and my skin got clear and I got a message from a guy who refers to me as queen yesterday. Good karma vibes all around.
ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY AND MY SKIN IS CLEAR AS F NOW
a guy walked into the board room and said
“hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling”
and i just stared at him and coldly said
“i am the regional reports manager”
we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life
Good
The Rock improvises his lines causing Ludacris to lose his shit.
my uncle and aunt were arguing over who had to drive home then we heard my aunt say “babe look” and she started chugging a bottle of wine
im the aunt
YOUNG TOM IS JUST SO CUTE I CANT. I REALLY CANT.
THE FEAR IN DAN’S FACE HAHAHA I LOVE THIS SO MUCH
‘Did you call me a wuss?’ Haha love it xx
parents: “let’s talk about your future"
nah I think we should really stop glorifying cigarettes
you sound boring.
You sound like you’ve never had the scent of cigarette smoke ingrained in your clothes to the point where people in middle school thought you smoked at eleven because your parents couldn’t be bothered to go outside. You sound like you’ve never had your mother flick cigarette ashes out of the car window and have them fly into your face. You sound like you’ve never been kept up at night by the sound of your dad hacking up a lung because he has to get up for his midnight smoke. You sound like you’ve never had to run into a convenience store to get your mother cigarettes as soon as you turned eighteen and cringed at touching the box because you know they’re not only killers but government sanctioned killers because they can not only tax the shit out of them but ensure people buy more at the cost of young lungs and a once beautiful home now plagued with the smell of smoke and ash. You sound like you’ve never had a great grandmother who stopped smoking 30 years before her death who still got lung cancer and subsequently died. You sound like a Fucking ignoramus. Smoking isn’t Fucking cool, it isn’t fun to glorify, it’s disgusting and makes not only you but your children smell bad. Makes not only you but your children cough, get cancer, get sick.
You sound like a Fucking moron. Smoking isn’t cool. Grow the Fuck up.
Bye
#Relatable
“white girl trying to remember the day she was born”
I’m hyperventilating