when you turn thirteen and want to paint your nails black
I’ll rummage through an old drawer and give you my own polish.
when you look at me and say, “momma, I’m lost.”
I’ll turn you towards the mirror
and say, “run darlin’, don’t ever let them find you.”
when the first day of high school comes
and you hurry to get out of the car with nerves in hand I’ll tell you,
“don’t run, walk slow. you’ll make it through.”
when you go on your first date I’ll remember my first date.
I’ll remember the look on my own mother’s face
when he didn’t open my car door
and baby, if he doesn’t open the car door remember your momma saying, “he doesn’t get to open anything else either.”
one day that boy will break your heart
and when you lock yourself in your room
I’ll buy you a journal, a brand new pen, a 2 liter of strawberry soda
and a potted violet with a note saying something like,
“white oleanders are poisonous and so is heartache.
violets symbolize something that I’ve since forgotten
and strawberry soda drowns the salt in your tears.”
one day you’ll pack your things,
I’ll write you letters and send you candles in the mail.
you’ll marry young or maybe old.
you’ll have a daughter of your own and watch the sun rise in her eyes.
just remember to never look up what violets symbolize
and when she looks at you with tears in her eyes
saying, “momma, I’m lost.”
turn her towards the mirror
and say, “run darlin’, don’t ever let them find you.”
2087
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