it’s the last missed assist that does it.
something’s been off with hargrove today. more so than usual. steve doesn’t give a fuck about the moody asshole and his mercurial temperament, except for when it’s costing them a serious chance at the tournament. any chance to get out of this town for a few nights. steve’s not gonna let hargrove ruin this.
the door slams against the brick exterior of the high school building, steve storming out after practice in search of the fucker who keeps shitting on his chances for a few quiet, monsterless nights. he spots hargrove’s taut form as he jumps at the sound.
if steve’d been paying attention, he’d probably be wondering at the way hargrove’s kept near silent these past three weeks, eyes nailed to the ground as if avoiding steve’s face will undo everything. he’d have a queasy feeling about today, how hargrove’s been flinching away from him during practice. flinching like—haunted.
steve’s only out here for that last wasted winning shot, though.
hargrove shivers, and doesn’t even bother hiding it. something’s—way off. the way his jaw clenches looks painful, in a grounding sort of way. ‘take a hint,’ he growls, ‘stay the fuck away.’
steve—sees red. ‘listen, fucker,’ he hisses, manoeuvring hargrove around with a force that leaves them both reeling, ‘you wanna go around throwing tantrums, that’s none of my concern. but i need to score a place at that tournament, and you don’t get to spoil it for me.’
hargrove laughs, but it’s watery, delayed. ‘maybe you should learn how to hold on to the ball then.’
‘maybe,’ steve growls, jabbing a finger at hargrove’s chest, the two of them in a loop neither can escape, ‘you should learn to keep your crazy outside the court.’
instantly, hargrove steps back, lip trembling in a way steve recognizes as uncontrollable. ‘stop yelling,’ he mutters, barely audible over the rustle of the trees across the street.
it—stops steve in his tracks. the arm raised in mid-air falls limply to his side. he can finally see hargrove’s haunted look for what it is, in all its painful familiarity. the look of the prey, moments before the kill and ruthlessly aware of it.
‘okay,’ he says, deflated, palms splayed open in surrender, ‘i’m not.’
hargrove’s frozen, looking at steve’s hands like he’s surprised to find them empty. a car revs in the distance, and hargrove breathes shakily, pale as death. ‘last night,’ he says, ‘i dreamed you killed me.’
steve stumbles back, face stinging from an invisible slap. ‘that—jesus, that’s fucked up.’
‘that bat,’ hargrove goes on, still staring at steve’s hands, waiting for the magic trick, ‘doesn’t belong to my sister. she was keeping it in the house, i’d have gotten wind of it.’ he finally raises his eyes to steve’s. ‘it’s yours.’
‘yeah. i—yeah. it’s mine. is that what i—’
hargrove creeps closer, virgin mary bouncing at the movement. slowly, he raises a hand up to steve’s face, fingers curling under his jaw to lock him in place. he traces the edge of a fading, rot-yellow bruise with the tip of his thumb, along the jawline. ‘does it hurt?’
steve’s holding his breath, afraid something might shatter. maybe he will, or the whole world around him. ‘not anymore,’ he mumbles, ‘two weeks ago, i’d’ve screamed, but it’s almost—’
‘i’d deserve it,’ hargrove says. ‘if you did.’
hargrove laughs, warped and mirthless. the tips of his fingers climb higher, pressing on the curve of steve’s cheekbone. ‘i know,’ he says, ‘ain’t it funny? we’re both scared of the wrong things.’
‘i’m not afraid of you,’ steve says.
‘i am,’ hargrove whispers, voice carried by nothing but the proximity, ‘terrified of you. my life’s a bad dream i can’t wake up from but you—you’re my nightmare.’
up close, steve watches hargrove map the fading colors on his face, follow the line of bruises he left there. he traces the matching colors on hargrove’s face that steve didn’t.
‘i wouldn’t do that, either,’ he tells him. on his face, hargrove’s hand is trembling. the arm hargrove’s keeping to himself is looking miserably desolate, so steve catches his wrist inside the circle of his fingers. ‘you know,’ he says, ‘getting into the top 25 means lots of overnight trips. out of state, even. definitely out of this town.’
hargrove lets his hand drop, still shaking. ‘i’ll do better,’ he says.
steve takes a step back, then another. ‘i know.’ he realizes it’s true once it’s out there. ‘the rooms are twins, by the way. it goes alphabetically.’