itās the last missed assist that does it.
somethingās been off with hargrove today. more so than usual. steve doesnāt give a fuck about the moody asshole and his mercurial temperament, except for when itās costing them a serious chance at the tournament. any chance to get out of this town for a few nights. steveās not gonna let hargrove ruin this.
the door slams against the brick exterior of the high school building, steve storming out after practice in search of the fucker who keeps shitting on his chances for a few quiet, monsterless nights. he spots hargroveās taut form as he jumps at the sound.
if steveād been paying attention, heād probably be wondering at the way hargroveās kept near silent these past three weeks, eyes nailed to the ground as if avoiding steveās face will undo everything. heād have a queasy feeling about today, how hargroveās been flinching away from him during practice. flinching likeāhaunted.
steveās only out here for that last wasted winning shot, though.
āwhatās with you today?ā
hargrove shivers, and doesnāt even bother hiding it. somethingāsāway off. the way his jaw clenches looks painful, in a grounding sort of way. ātake a hint,ā he growls, āstay the fuck away.ā
steveāsees red. ālisten, fucker,ā he hisses, manoeuvring hargrove around with a force that leaves them both reeling, āyou wanna go around throwing tantrums, thatās none of my concern. but i need to score a place at that tournament, and you donāt get to spoil it for me.ā
hargrove laughs, but itās watery, delayed. āmaybe you should learn how to hold on to the ball then.ā
āmaybe,ā steve growls, jabbing a finger at hargroveās chest, the two of them in a loop neither can escape, āyou should learn to keep your crazy outside the court.ā
instantly, hargrove steps back, lip trembling in a way steve recognizes as uncontrollable. āstop yelling,ā he mutters, barely audible over the rustle of the trees across the street.
itāstops steve in his tracks. the arm raised in mid-air falls limply to his side. he can finally see hargroveās haunted look for what it is, in all its painful familiarity. the look of the prey, moments before the kill and ruthlessly aware of it.
āokay,ā he says, deflated, palms splayed open in surrender, āiām not.ā
hargroveās frozen, looking at steveās hands like heās surprised to find them empty. a car revs in the distance, and hargrove breathes shakily, pale as death. ālast night,ā he says, āi dreamed you killed me.ā
steve stumbles back, face stinging from an invisible slap. āthatājesus, thatās fucked up.ā
āthat bat,ā hargrove goes on, still staring at steveās hands, waiting for the magic trick, ādoesnāt belong to my sister. she was keeping it in the house, iād have gotten wind of it.ā he finally raises his eyes to steveās. āitās yours.ā
āyeah. iāyeah. itās mine. is that what iāā
hargrove creeps closer, virgin mary bouncing at the movement. slowly, he raises a hand up to steveās face, fingers curling under his jaw to lock him in place. he traces the edge of a fading, rot-yellow bruise with the tip of his thumb, along the jawline. ādoes it hurt?ā
steveās holding his breath, afraid something might shatter. maybe he will, or the whole world around him. ānot anymore,ā he mumbles, ātwo weeks ago, iādāve screamed, but itās almostāā
āiād deserve it,ā hargrove says. āif you did.ā
hargrove laughs, warped and mirthless. the tips of his fingers climb higher, pressing on the curve of steveās cheekbone. āi know,ā he says, āaināt it funny? weāre both scared of the wrong things.ā
āiām not afraid of you,ā steve says.
āi am,ā hargrove whispers, voice carried by nothing but the proximity, āterrified of you. my lifeās a bad dream i canāt wake up from but youāyouāre my nightmare.ā
up close, steve watches hargrove map the fading colors on his face, follow the line of bruises he left there. he traces the matching colors on hargroveās face that steve didnāt.
āi wouldnāt do that, either,ā he tells him. on his face, hargroveās hand is trembling. the arm hargroveās keeping to himself is looking miserably desolate, so steve catches his wrist inside the circle of his fingers. āyou know,ā he says, āgetting into the top 25 means lots of overnight trips. out of state, even. definitely out of this town.ā
hargrove lets his hand drop, still shaking. āiāll do better,ā he says.
steve takes a step back, then another. āi know.ā he realizes itās true once itās out there. āthe rooms are twins, by the way. it goes alphabetically.ā